68 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
68 lines
3.9 KiB
Plaintext
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ooooo ooooo .oooooo. oooooooooooo HOE E'ZINE RELEASE #503
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`888' `888' d8P' `Y8b `888' `8
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888 888 888 888 888 "Internet Dating Services"
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888ooooo888 888 888 888oooo8
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888 888 888 888 888 " by AnonGirl
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888 888 `88b d88' 888 o 3/8/99
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o888o o888o `Y8bood8P' o888ooooood8
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When dating services were first introduced quite some time ago, no
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one thought that it would lead to such things as telephone dating systems,
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or internet dating services. The last page of a local tabloid would
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suddenly become the domain of "Jenny's Make a New Friend Club", instead of
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the regular mail-order vitamins page. The establishment of such
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television shows such as 'Love Connection' and 'The Dating Game' had also
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helped North America accept the idea of blind dating.
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However, it was a much bigger task to get onto a personals page.
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One had to send a letter with their profile to the service, and wait
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months to actually get their ad posted. Plus, getting on the Dating Game
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was nearly impossible. But, with the convenience of the internet, all
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that has changed. One can log onto the internet, go to an internet dating
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site, and have a profile posted within five minutes of being logged on.
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Anyone.
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The Dating Game recruited contestants who were fairly decent, both
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in mind and body. Although every dating gimmick has its losers, these
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people were at least tolerable, to an extent. People who sent their ads
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to personals in magazines and what not, were much more desperate, but were
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able enough to send their letters in. Internet dating services are the
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melting pot of anyone who is lacking in sex or love. Sure, their excuse
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is they haven't got any time for singles bars or meeting people, but when
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it comes down to it, these are the most desperate people on earth, which
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leads to the point of this t-file: Internet dating services will slowly
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lead to the end of the world.
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Research claims that in twenty years, internet dating services will
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be the number one method of meeting people, in North America, Europe and
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Asia. 80% of the people using these services are looking for discreet
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affairs during their lunch hour. The other 20% are looking for either
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marriage, or just a new friend, which has a .7% success rate. An
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estimated 45% of the people looking for discreet sex actually get it.
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The rest just give up on the idea of getting any, ever.
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The folks who do wind up fucking are pretty much looking for
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something without strings. They aren't looking to have children with
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their one-night stands. If the majority of these people now are not
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looking to settle down, and decide to just keep on fucking until they die,
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then the future is extremely dim. If the theory that everyone will be
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using internet dating as their key to meeting people in twenty years is
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true, and if 80% of them are still looking for discreet affairs, the birth
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rate in North America, Europe and Asia will drop enormously. This will
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result in a population falling in the age range of 50+, having one night
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stands, and because of internet dating services, there will be no children
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left by the time these services have completely taken over. And when
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internet dating services do take over these three places, the entire world
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will be connected by then, slowly ensuring the extinction of the human
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race as we know it.
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Amazingly enough, a good number of people managed to meet people in
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real life, for say, the last millenium. Why can't they now? Laziness.
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The under-developped countries will be the last ones laughing.
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[ (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #503 - WRITTEN BY: ANONGIRL - 3/8/99 ]
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