50 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #492 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Hairdryer of Instant Karmic Justice" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Uberfizzgig !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 3/3/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Justin liked to run over ants with his bicycle. He would look
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around the sidewalks by his house for a big swarm of the little things.
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There they would be--busy building a new home--perhaps with all the latest
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from the ant equilivent of France with the ant equilivent of Italian
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Leather Furniture. Complete with all the finest amenities of living in
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the dirt. Justin would stop there by this blossoming new community and
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watch the black thickness swarming over the edge of the concrete. He
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would casually roll the front-tire of his bicycle through the mass of
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activity and leave the imprint of his tire-tread through the center.
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Never once did he consider the tiny ant holocausts he would cause each
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day. His sister, however, was another matter.
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Yes. One day Justin found his sister writhing and wriggling in the
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dirt after the rainfall the night before. He watched her momentarily,
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like a cartographer watches plate tectonics, and then left his little
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tire-tread prints across her back. Needless to say she was pissed. But
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before she could do anything, an Ice Cream truck drove by, its sweet music
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enchanting them like the song of the Sirens. It was then that the
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hairdryer fell from the sky.
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The hair dryer swooped down upon Justin, burying its sharp cord
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into his spinal column. When his body stopped convulsing, the hairdryer
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set itself to "Big Dryin' To Do" and burnt off Justin's head. It then
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affixed itself to the top of his neck. His sister turned around after
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buying her Orange Push-Up Pop from the Ice Cream Man, and said not a word
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to her brother. This of course should be expected given that she was a
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quiet girl and not comfortable talking to people she did not recognize.
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He had a hairdryer for a head after all, which made him quite peculiar,
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not to mention the clothes stained with his own blood. The Ice Cream Man
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drove along to the next block, ignoring him as well. After all, you can't
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very well eat ice cream with a hair dryer for a head, it would all melt
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before getting in there; and if any did, you'd probably get electrocuted
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anyway.
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The next day at school some kid called him a fag.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #492, WRITTEN BY: UBERFIZZGIG - 3/3/99 !!
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