83 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
83 lines
4.4 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #474 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "My Analytical Self" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 2/3/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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there are some days when i just sit there, waiting for things to
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come to me. and i wait... wait, just a little longer. and while i wait
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i ponder about the seemily large pile of god-knows-what that i claim to
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be life. little girls and little boys walk right passed me, and they
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don't have a clue about anything. they certainly aren't aware of my
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stares inspecting them from their head to their tiny little toes. "so
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innocent and pure," i think. although they may not be so innocent and
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are probably not all that pure -- i don't know, because i am just gazing
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at them. unfortunately (or fortunately), i do not have the power to see
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into their lives.
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that's when things begin to blur, as i get lost in my stares and
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my thoughts drift to _my_ life and _my_ situations and _my_ problems and
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my everything. that is, of course, if i have anything at all. one day
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i have everything, then the next passes by and takes it all away.
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leaving me empty, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, unhappy. unsane at times.
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i proceed through my train of thought, unaware that my friend or sister
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or brother or mother or father or enemy is desperately trying to free me
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from my thoughts to inform me of something stupid thing that i didn't
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want to know about.
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they pursue their day, unknowing that they so easily led me away
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from my thoughts. and i try to remember where i was, when another
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struts by, just as i was begining to know what i was thinking of. i
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acknowledge them with a nod and a forced smile. they approach me while
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asking the typical conversation starter questions such as "what's up?" or
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"how are you doing?". somehow i manage to blurt out an answer that
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hopefully will not let them in on my situation. as instantaneously as
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they appear, i glance at my watch (even if i dont have one), and announce
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my duty of having to go see some random inexistant people.
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i drag my feet and they slowly become little dots surrounded by
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other little dots in a sea of dots. much further from my previous
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position, i look around and see no one. sighing of relief, i pull up a
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piece of grass and sit down. despite the fact that i walked a pretty
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long way -- everything still seems so familiar. everything that i know,
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that i have once upon a time already analysed is still there. and it
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puzzles me! i begin to think that maybe i know my surroundings a little
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too well.
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i quickly look around me and think that perhaps i am still where
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i always was, just a few feet away from that tree i was leaning against
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a few minutes ago. maybe i did not move more than a few feet. maybe i
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was not the one who looked at my watch (because i dont have one) and
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quickly announced my departure. maybe those little kids, my sister or
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brother or mother or father or <random person i know> did not come up to
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me. maybe i went up to them. and they all walked off, going further in
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life than i have ever went. maybe as i was stepping away from what
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helped me stand comfortably, they made bigger steps and now are amazingly
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far from what made them feel comfortable and stable. maybe i am slower
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than the rest. maybe i just took the time to have a good look around me,
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and as i did that, they pursued their journey in life.
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forgetting about me.
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forgetting about them.
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forgetting their surroundings.
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i lose myself in my un-'s, in-'s and maybe's. i carefully inspect
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what i have so many times inspected before. and i feel lost, empty,
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unfulfilled, unstatisfied and unhappy.
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and and and..
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maybe maybe maybe..
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hopefully.
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some other day,
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on a better day.
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think think think! ... where was i?
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #474, WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 2/3/99 !!
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