101 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
101 lines
4.7 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #462 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The Smartest Man Alive is Somewhere !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: Out There and He Only Wants to Help You" !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Kreid 1/27/99 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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boy, am i seasick. i feel like i'm going to puke, sometimes. it
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must be the turbulence. back and forth, back and forth, all day, every
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day. no change, no relief. i sure am seasick. indeed i am seasick.
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i'm really seasick.
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seasick... OF YOU!
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see? do you see it? i'm not on a boat. that was a metaphor. you
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weren't expecting that, were you? no, not unless you looked down the
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page, and if you did that, you're just an illiterate jackass. a fucking
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uneducated prick with no respect for words and metaphors and other
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generally intelligent crap that smart people use. fucker. you're
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probably even moving your lips as you read this, too. your dumb, bloated,
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negroid lips.
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just kidding. seriously, though, racism is really bad! really,
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it's terrible how ignorant anger can make people. so terrible. terrible.
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if people would just listen to each other, and not their own hearts and
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mind, just maybe, maybe, we could all learn to live in harmony with each
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other, and around the world, things would be just like my ass: beautiful
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and perfect.
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oh god, it's so nice. i'm just so glad to be me sometimes. sure,
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i'm missing a few teeth and i spent most of my day sitting in front of
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the computer with no clothes eating boogers and grasping desperately at
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my penis. but all i have to do is slip my hand onto the seat of my chair
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underneath my soft flesh, and i feel good about myself. i know, after
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all, with my ass, everything will work out okay. i love you, ass.
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by the way: i was just kidding about niggers. they really are
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terrible creatures and they smell as hideous as they look.
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the phone is ringing.
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"hello."
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"uhm hello can i speak to dave pleez?"
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"yes."
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<long pause>
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"uh is this dave?"
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"yes."
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"oh hi it's some stupid bitch."
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"hi!"
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"what are you doing tonight? can i come over? i want your dick
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so bad, dave! i'm aching for it! you drive me crazy when i'm not with
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you... oh god just thinking about you makes me so fucking wet!"
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"listen, bitch. i don't want to hear this shit. the only time i
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want to even think about your stupid mouth being open is when i'm watching
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it bob up and down wrapped around my fucking cock, okay? i want you to
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understand this so that our relationship can work out better because,
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baby... i think i love you."
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that's when i hang up. i'm so smooth! she'll be over in a couple
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of minutes, i bet. i should finish off this t-file with haste... i need
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to get a couple of shots in me before the cunt gets here, or else i might
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get pissed and say something to get me in trouble. i tend to be like that
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around chicks when i'm sober, you know? alcohol really smooths things
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over with bitches. it makes you real honest, uninhibited. when you get
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good and drunk you know it's pointless to start trying to lie and all that
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shit, so you say what you fucking mean. it drives girls crazy for you.
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inhibitions totally gone. "you're pretty. i'm stronger than you.
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let's fuck."
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when you're born as gifted as i am, you can learn to do some pretty
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crazy things, like master the completely depraved ignominy of the dark
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abyss of alcoholism.
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you don't know what ignominy means, do you? haha. i just used
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that word to fuck with your stupid illiterate brain. sucker. it means
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"disgrace". you should familiarize yourself with it, don't you think?
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don't feel bad about it. i'm just so much fucking better than you.
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i don't mean any harm, though. i'm just living as nobly as i can, while
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still getting everything i want. god made me to save this fucking sick,
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depraved world. but i'm looking out for number one, you know? i've gotta
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get my rocks off. the world can fucking reap its benefits from my genius,
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sure, but not on my time. i've got a life to live.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! HOE #462, WRITTEN BY: KREID - 1/27/99 !!
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