103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
|
|
'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
|
|
##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
|
|
##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #427 !!
|
|
#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ===========================================
|
|
##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: "One man, Standing At The Threshold" !!
|
|
##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: *or* !!
|
|
##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: "I Am An Adventurer!@" !!
|
|
..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Rantaslin 1/13/99 !!
|
|
!!========================================================================!!
|
|
|
|
What exactly this title will have to do with the eventual outcome
|
|
of this article means little or nothing to me. The true value comes
|
|
from the fact that I have no better title, it sounds neat, and it's my
|
|
first article for HOE, authored by myself, Rantaslin (for bitterness),
|
|
and edited by Teerts (for flow[!?])...
|
|
|
|
Now let's take a stab at it shall we? After much prodding and
|
|
poking by a dear friend of mine, whom some of you probably already
|
|
know if you read HOE with any frequency (Teerts), I decided to write
|
|
an article. So in my own hack-and-slash style, let's give it a go.
|
|
|
|
Ahem.
|
|
|
|
The topic of today's discussion, boys and girls? Consideration
|
|
for others, and the entire sociological make up of this town that
|
|
Teerts and I know, but doubtfully love, called Reading, Pennsylvania.
|
|
It all starts with an average evening of late for myself and Teerts.
|
|
I, being the motivator of the group, (well, due more to the fact that
|
|
Teerts is the most indecisive S.O.B. that I know, and the rest can be
|
|
like lemmings), we gather at my house to plan our activities for the
|
|
night. While sitting around, and tossing these nifty little popper
|
|
things that fly an amazingly long distance for their size I might add,
|
|
we decide that sitting around is definitely *not* what we got together
|
|
for, in fact it's what we try to avoid. So as we see it we have two
|
|
choices -- Denny's or the Mall(s). We can't decide, so we hop into two
|
|
cars (which is a silly idea, since we always get separated along the
|
|
way) -- myself and Teerts in the Bugula (ya know, one of those shiny
|
|
and nifty new VW creations), and Altrocks and a mutual friend of ours
|
|
in the other.
|
|
|
|
Pulling out onto the bypass... all goes well, until a rather
|
|
large truck decides to ride my ass, and not let me merge trafic. After
|
|
getting onto the bypass and deciding I don't wanna put up with this
|
|
shit right now. I move to pass him... no big deal... three cars in a
|
|
row... done this before, just blow right by them. Simple enough right?
|
|
Not when the last car you pass is a marked police car without it's
|
|
lights on.
|
|
|
|
Being the astute observer that he is, Teerts exclaims 'That's
|
|
a cop.'
|
|
|
|
Eh, from 85 to 60 in no time flat, but not fast enough. I pass
|
|
the cop doing 60 in a 55 zone, and proceed to pull in front of him.
|
|
Thinking that he may let me go. I relax... a bit too much...65, and
|
|
the white and blue starts to flash. Meanwhile car "B", (Altrocks) sees
|
|
all, and manages to get by without a hitch (if you knew how he normally
|
|
drove you'd find this hilarious). So, anyway, off the road I pull, and
|
|
I prepare to face the worst... my mind racing. Thinking of having to
|
|
tell my parents a day before christmas that I got a $70 ticket for
|
|
speeding, when the cop walks up and says "If you tell me a little bit
|
|
about your car, I'll let you off. I always wanted to see the inside of
|
|
one of these, isn't information a good trade instead of a ticket?"
|
|
Slightly shaking from surprise, anxiety, and confusion, I do so. The
|
|
fact that a man can be so seemingly benevolent amazes me. It kicks ass.
|
|
By this time car "B" is long gone, having resumed its crusing at speeds
|
|
nearing mach 1.
|
|
|
|
Teerts and I try vainly to explain this occurence to one another
|
|
and we eventually settle on one of two theories: one, the cop was a
|
|
sheriff and he knew that some speeding kids aren't really part of the
|
|
big crime problem in Reading -- or two, the cop felt pity for me after
|
|
seing my Drivers license photo.
|
|
|
|
We resume our search for car "B". Reaching the farther out of
|
|
the two malls, we look around, Teerts suggests that they turned around
|
|
and looked for us. Wasting more than half of an hour cruising around
|
|
looking for them we eventually return to the mall and find them there.
|
|
'Told yah, Teerts,' to which he responds, 'Fuck you, Rant."
|
|
|
|
Reunited, we proceed through the mall, in all its whack glory.
|
|
We see a few friends, continue our cyclic mall procession, and
|
|
eventually Teerts and I become alienated... shoved off into a corner.
|
|
This pisses us off, we aren't being abnormally prickish (well, Teerts
|
|
is, but not me), especially considering the normal level of
|
|
prickishness present (often just facetious, though not always) in our
|
|
circle of friends. After about 45 mintues of what felt like being
|
|
ignored, pissed, and shit on, we get bored and head over to borders,
|
|
get a drink read some books, gee great fun. Meanwhile those from
|
|
car "B", have still not had the curtesy to catch up with us.
|
|
|
|
In any event my final observation is that a cop whom I have no
|
|
relation to, who owes me nothing, and who knows no more than the
|
|
information readily avalible on my drivers license, give me no ticket,
|
|
not even a citation or warning, just asks about my car, and bids me a
|
|
happy holidays and tells me to be careful, and sends me on my merry
|
|
way. At the same time, my friends basically tell me to fuck off. So
|
|
it goes, I suppose, and this is just another one of my rants. So I
|
|
stand at the threshold, waiting for thought to arrive...
|
|
|
|
!!========================================================================!!
|
|
!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #427, WRITTEN BY: RANTASLIN - 1/13/99 !!
|