322 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
322 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #392 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Drivel" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> LilNilHil !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/28/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Hello. Here's some things I wrote in a mental hospital. You
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will enjoy them, oh yes.
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-- We don't care what you think
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little man, little boy
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You squirmings are useless now
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Doesn't matter what you say
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how you think, little man
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We've got all that you'll need.
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Your with us, little man
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little boy, little fuck.
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Chemically coming,
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your sickly becoming
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now broken yes beaten
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you'll follow along.
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Your a dog
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in a bag
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that is hung
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from the gallows
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in a dead town
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on a gone time
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anywhere.
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-- muffle of his pillow
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keeps everything beyond the screaming
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of the ten year old next door in silence.
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it's summer, and florida,
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and two sheets,
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and two shirts,
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but i shiver.
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and her eyes still leak.
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he pummels the door open
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and lets me know it's my turn
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that it's only a business
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the business of drugs
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hope in pill form.
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i walk in, i sit down
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i get this, he gives that
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there's his money
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fucker/fuckee
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profit from misery.
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my new doctor is my new god
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my new doctor is my new love
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my new doctor is my new life.
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the dangerous
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little man.
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-- tick-tocking head
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right to wrong to stop to go to running
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through the street
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crowded with these thoughtless thoughts
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from thinking machines.
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we combat like drunk philosophers
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on the eve of doomsday.
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Meant to
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Endure
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Naked in the gutter
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Digging through shit
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searching for that savior
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and this last desperate clutch
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at all the lost time.
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when you realize
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the madmen were often right.
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Meant to
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Meant to
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..exactly.
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-- you go for a walk
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and you stumble on wherever
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looking at the sun
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you see it when you close your eyes
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but do you think it had once been more
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before your birth?
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you see them when you open them back up
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the rich in their rooms.
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and your odd glances at them
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seeing if you can permeate money.
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-- You can go your way..and.. i can go my way.
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I spotted him in between thoughts one day
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we didn't talk, we only looked
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just keep staring; we decided
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and let's not ruin it by getting to know eachother.
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because our love is like anarchy
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a utopic paradise, yet
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fucked.
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we think we thought y'know
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but you can never tell
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you'll never retain your constant flux
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you won't hack this
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you'll conform
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and recede
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and we'll all die
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and i'll stare.
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write fifty books on it
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or shut up and enjoy,
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like this.
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-- Soon it will be quiet.
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Another night just like every other one
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Sneak outside and light up
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Everyone is in bed and asleep
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Everyone but me is in bed, and asleep
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I get a rush of shame, like i might be keeping a few of them up
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Like they can hear my door shut and look out the window to see me
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Like my existence is detrimental to some yuppies circadian rythm
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Like they think i'm different and hate me because of it
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Like their rules don't apply to me
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It's all quiet out here though.
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Everyone's asleep of course.
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There's the newspaper guy with the headlights
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There's the thoughts of things people have to do when they wake up
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There they are all over the world, waiting for morning
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There's me on the gutter, all lit up.
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No morning. Soon, in the head, i will be quiet.
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-- umbrella
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she's like the rain
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she stops and falls
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she's the silent one in your homeroom
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haunting your image as you pass by
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her torn up victemless mind
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just you, and the mutilated arms
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of the girl in your gym class.
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Put out her eyes and show her to a field
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full of blind men and pits.
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They flutter, they stumble,
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they fall right in
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occaisionally something arrives
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to keep her going another week or so
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But she's done
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shove her in the direction
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of whatever's left and bottomless
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So that,
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like the rain.
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She may show you
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her swan dive.
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-- i don't like this
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When drugs are what we know of love
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and pain is all that keeps us from failing
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what god is there to save us?
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when he himself is sad
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when satan bathes in nothing
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when happiness is that dim light
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at the end of a nonexistent tunnel
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what'll god do?
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what go will do?
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so give 'em drugs, keep them quiet
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give them what they ask for to survive
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but don't tell us you care
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alchohol, the blood of god.
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the blood of a coward.
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-- revely for a dead man
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no pills
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and no sleep
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and no advice
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and no hate
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you can stop calling me, yes
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since you've realized that
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i'm not what your looking for
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since i've realized that i've made
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a fool of myself.
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why circle?
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dive down the plug-hole.
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the only way we'll float
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is if we die.
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I can't tell if it's bad or good
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when your finally defeated
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supposedly, like most things,
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it just is
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But where to go from nowhere?
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When your at the full-fledged
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bottom.
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I can't tell
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And i wish i didn't have to try
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It's such a nice suprise
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when you feel your luck
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begin to change.
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the bottom leveling out
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and everyone calling your name.
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the whole worlds attention
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fully magnified upon you
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such a nice little suprise
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The enemies see
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what they've been missing
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and give you thier apologies
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Your friends tell you what they really
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deep down
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think.
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Such a beautiful suprise
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but then you realize
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it was just another dream.
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And can't tell if it's a bad or good thing.
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no interaction at all.
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and no help
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and no hope
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and no talent
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and no angst
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and no pity
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and nobody.
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-- "I think your problems are very trite."
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guiltily home now, i still recollect
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i plug in the brain and i reconnect
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does it come down to god?
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as kids this was all we could remember,
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'nobody said life was supposed to be fair'
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and why not
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why is that so crazy?
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to change things, to be human,
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i can not imagine a god who could love
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and then hate this
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as jen's arteries scream for a hit
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there aren't any drugs for this one
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a tape instead,
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of a guy who tells her to calm down.
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as mike tries to hang himself with a shoelace in his bathroom
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as the new guy is givin three shots and sent somewhere else
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as adam is ripped naked from the shower
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she yelps a fuck and streaks down the hallway naked
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blood streaming out of her eyes.
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as i listen and write
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yeah i somehow write, fuck the living
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as the ten year old skips out the window
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as jeremiah is fooled again
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as heather is told 'one more week' for the 5th time
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what the hell can i write?
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everything's already been said in their heads.
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i'm refusing to speak for it.
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you do them. i hate this.
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-- easter.
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I finally got the cigarettes. So i wouldn't have to off myself.
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But the nicotine always hits you wrong after all the hassle.
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I walked past the bum, and he gave me his sad-stained look.
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Minutes later i realized i was singing as i walked by.
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I sit and watch the cars roll away, and think I must be one of you now.
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And in the back of my mind, it's easter.
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-- notes from nowhere.
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remembering where i am and have been,
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as she knocks upon the wall.
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As i supposedly get better,
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from my sickness,
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from it all.
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As i plan to plan to think
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These thoughts I'm not allowed,
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The chemicals, the neurons,
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Load your guns and take a bow.
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Still she knocks.
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As they creep into the mind
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And rip me up in shreds.
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As they creep into the mind
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And rip it up till dead.
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As they creep into my mind..
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i wonder if it'll make a sound,
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when they finally drive me mad.
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If i'll be underground,
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or live haphazardly sad.
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If the knocking ever ceases
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If she drives me into pieces
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I wonder if this thing still has a voice.
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still i wait.
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I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING
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WHEN YOU KNOCKED UPON MY
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WALL MY LIFE MY SOUL I WAITED
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HERE AS YOU SUCCEDED AND
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RECEDED AND DEFEATED AS YOU
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RAN DOWN GOD WITH A BATTLE
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AXE AND FOUR NAILS STILL I
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LISTENED AND I WAIT FOR THE WIZARD
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OF OZ AND CHARIOTS OF FIRE AND
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THE SAINTS TO COME THE FUCK ON
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IN I WAIT FOR GOD TO SAY HELLO
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I WAIT CUZ IT'S ALL I KNOW I'M
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WAITING AND WEARY AND WAVING
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AS YOU WALK ALONG HOME
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STILL I WAITED HERE STILL I WAITED
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HERE STILL I WAITED HERE
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WHERE'S THE HOPE IN THIS
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-- life and death
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There are ants
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on the sidewalk
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which you will step on
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but they will fall
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in between
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the rivets
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of your boot.
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There's a turtle
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on the train tracks
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stuck in limbo
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dead forver
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taken by the sun
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to spare the train.
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Me and the lizard
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who thinks my ashes
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are dinner.
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A puff of smoke
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and he runs.
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when all the wrong people
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love all the wrong people
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there's a hope
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for somebody
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somewhere.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #392 - WRITTEN BY: LILNILHIL - 12/28/98 !!
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