113 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
113 lines
5.0 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #382 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "I Thought Ignorance Was Supposed !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: To Be Bliss" !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Caitlin 12/25/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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she said "I heard what you said about her."
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I said, "Fuck that. I don't care about her."
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She told me I was a horrible person and that no body trusts me.
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Yeah, well, the only two people that actually care about her
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somewhat don't trust me. That's because I don't like them. they're
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both similiar... hating life...... CONVINCED! the whole world is
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against them.
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I just wrote it off... who cares.
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BUT I REALLY DO CARE! DAMNIT! I'm so sick and tired of every
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little annoying cunt thinking I care about them enough to actually talk
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about them. I mean... if someone is a psychotic bitch... I'll tell
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them, and I'll tell other people. But Jesus Christ, why can't they let
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things go. I really don't want to be like them, so this is hard for me
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to talk about, but WHY?!
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Would you get offended if people that you didn't like anyway said
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they didn't like you for <insert any given reason here>? Would you
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waste the emotional effort to hate someone because they don't like you?
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I don't really understand it. Maybe the hating is normal... but
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why the constant dwelling on it? I don't like being sad... but they
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can't seem to like it any other way. Hell... if it's sunny out.. they
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lock themselves in the house to cry. If it's raining... they'll walk in
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the rain and complain about the lack of sun. Why the FUCK can't they
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come away from that shit... maybe that's why they're on about every
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anti-depressent available..
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Okay... end of the introductory rant. Here's the start of my
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story....
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I. Allison
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==========
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I met her a month after I became great friends with her older
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sister, Annie. I knew from the first sniff of her she was trouble.
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After 3 days of hanging out she decided she hated me. I,
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worried, just ignored her, tried not to be around her... you know.. the
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usual. She came up to me, and started trouble! So we made up, I don't
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remember why. And from that point on... every week she found another
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fucking reason to be mad at me. Little ones... usually resulting from
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little selfish things I did to keep myself happy... nonetheless, little.
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Nothing harmful to anyone... but anyways...
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The only reason I ever was nice to her, repeadately was to make
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it easy, 'cause I didn't care about her, and to make things easier for
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her sister.
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I've determined... Allison is the epitome of ignorance, and all
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that good stuff that makes me not want to talk about her.
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II. Sarah
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=========
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I fell in love with Sarah's simplicity the first time I saw her.
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Straight blonde hair, empty blue eyes, khakis, and a black tight shirt.
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I met her at a church (long story) and from then on we were close. We
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gradually grew closer and closer until I (subconciously) released how
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ignorant she was (I acknowledged it later on..) and in that ignorance I
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found some comfort. I wanted her... bad. Everything I did, in
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someway was to make her happy. She was my submissive, little, straight
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girl... that even though she held my hand wherever we went... out of
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fear... I could never, ever have her. There were times it looked
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hopeful...
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I remember talking to her on the phone one day, we were dating
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brothers at the time... and she asked me if when we broke up with them
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one day, if her and I could "go out" whatever that meant to her... who
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knows.
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She was always looking at some way to cling to me, closer then
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she already was. It gradually started with the holding of hands, moving
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to that point where she would kiss me, flirt, little girl like... it was
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weird. That's all I can say...
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I eventually acknowledged her ignorance. I quit calling her. I
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quit hanging out with her. I even ignored her calls when I saw then on
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my caller ID. I grew to hate, despise, abhor everything about her. In
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good reason, too. Once school started I pretended things were normal
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for simplicities sake. She wasn't worth my time anymore.
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III. and
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========
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Sarah's nice to my face. Allison isn't.
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Sarah hates me. Allison does, too.
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Sarah tells others not to trust me.
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As does Allison.
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And I don't give two shits either way.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #382 - WRITTEN BY: CAITLIN - 12/25/98 !!
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