126 lines
7.6 KiB
Plaintext
126 lines
7.6 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #377 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "The Problem With Pooh" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Paganini !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/25/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Before one reads this little "commentary"; this little
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"editorial," if you will, they should take note that it may offend any
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one person or group who, much like the larger half of society, worships
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such childhood heroes as: Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Rogers, Transformers
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(robots in disguise), Thundercats (think way back), He-Man and his
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ever-loving sister: She-Ra, and of course, Winnie the Pooh.
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When I was younger, I was an avid Saturday morning cartoon
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watcher, as I'm sure many other people my age were. I can honestly say
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that was the only time I would wake up at six in the morning to watch
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T.V. I'm sure people can understand the heartache I felt if I had
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accidentally slept in, and missed all the cartoons, only to find some
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old Saturday Western on, or even the news. (God forbid.) Thus, these
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cartoons became a great part of my childhood. When I look back on them,
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I have fond memories of my early mornings, sometimes beginning at five
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a.m. However, now I am able to see what exactly I had watched so
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religiously all those years. I watched cartoons about little blue
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people who lived in a mushroom village, and were chased down by a
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freaky old man and his cat. While, all the time, they remained merry;
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singing there little "la-la-la" song. I watched a show where a man
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changed in front of me, and sent off his little "trolley" to that scary
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little puppet world in the walls of his house. (I'm sorry, but that
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rosy-cheeked queen puppet scared me, and does to this day give me
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nightmares.) Yet there is one cartoon, by far the sickest of them all,
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that has seeped its way into our culture: Winnie the Pooh.
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This "classic" cartoon portrays all sorts of dysfunctional
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characters, while taking place in Christopher Robbins dream world. I
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never truly noticed any of this until I took the time to examine each
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character. Perhaps the most disturbing one of them all was Eeyore. He
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was this sad, blue donkey. He didn't socialize with anyone. I remember
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one particular show where he didn't tell anyone it was his birthday. He
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was constantly depressed, and possibly dull-witted. It just made me sad
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when I saw Eeyore, especially when his tale fell off. Do you think they
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could invent a more pathetic character? I mean, give the blue donkey
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his dignity.
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Another character that I had a problem with was Rabbit. First of
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all, was Rabbit a male or a female? Rabbit was a sexually confused
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bunny who lived all by himself in that big tree. He wanted nothing to
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do with the other characters, (despite their cute and lovable
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appearances). He spent his time working in the garden, and hated the
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beavers or badgers, or woodchucks or whatever they were. He wasn't
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friendly, but rather, he struck me as somewhat selfish. All he cared
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about were his vegetables. Come to think of it; Rabbit never wore any
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clothes. Maybe if they had put some pants on him, and maybe a big belt
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buckle or something, then we'd know he was a "masculine bunny." A nice
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dress would also suffice.
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What was the deal with Tiger? Does he remind anyone else of
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Seinfelds' Kramer. He was always bouncy, and energetic. If anyone
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recalls, he was always using that little piglet for bait, from the
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"monsters." He was the ring leader of their little imaginary
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adventures, and by far, Rabbits worst nightmare. (A jumpy tiger that
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would destroy his/her crops.) Tiger was always running around Eeyore,
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too. Eeyore didn't need that. He had his own problems.
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Two characters that always sort of bothered me were Kanga and
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Roo. First of all, will Roo ever grow up? Does Roo have any friends, or
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does he just hang out in that little hut with his mother who was always
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giving him cough medicine. What was up with that? Why did Roo always
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have a cold? His mother was doping him up! Maybe that's why he never
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grew. Maybe that's why he always had that glassy eyed look on his face.
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The other little mental case that disturbed me was Piglet. The
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poor little guy had so many phobias; Freud would have given up. He was
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used by his friends as bait (see: Tiger) for the pretend monsters. All
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he ever really wanted was to be a hero; like a knight or a prince. The
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poor little guy was just too scared, and hid in the trunk in Christopher
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Robbins attic, or hid behind that large yellow bear.
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That brings me to the bear we call Pooh. The now financial
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giant, who has found his way into clothing, books, and numerous
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children's sales, was just one of the most pathetic characters this
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author (If I may call myself that... humor me.) has ever seen. He was
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a compulsive eater. He risked his life and the pretend lives of others
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to get food. He was so overweight that he got caught in some beavers
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hole once, and couldn't get out for a week. Sure, he was nice. Yeah,
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he was lovable and sweet, but it was simply too sad to watch this bear
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obsess over honey.
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The last character that I have failed to mention is Christopher
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Robbin. Christopher Robbin was this little boy who lived in an
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imaginary world within his head. There was something almost
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psychedelic about the way he would escape top that place where his
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friends Pooh, Tiger and Piglet would rescue him from the daily
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struggles of boyhood. And now that Pooh has been lasted so long it
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makes one wonder if Chris Robbin is actually this thirty-year old guy,
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who still lives at home, in his little pretend forest where kangaroos,
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bears and smart owls co-exist. Perhaps all he needed was a father
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figure, or a friend. You know, someone to play catch with. Instead of
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that, he was provided with stuffed animals. Perhaps the complexes of
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these animals symbolize a deeper struggle within Chris Robbin. Maybe
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they are extensions of his personality. Perhaps he is a young, sexually
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confused boy, with mother complexes and depressant tendencies.
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Probably not.
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After looking into all these characters it is almost funny to
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see what a giant Pooh has become. One can buy Pooh paraphernalia from
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clothing to children's lunch boxes; books to video sing-a-longs. It
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seems no matter how much our society grows and changes there will
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always be room for a big yellow bear who searches for honey. While most
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of the local networks have turned away from the Saturday morning
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cartoon routine, finding that pre-teen shows tend to do better
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now-a-days, Winnie the Pooh remains a constant. Although I, personally
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have a few problems with the characters and the way they interact with
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each other, I must recognize the idea that maybe this bear has done so
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well because he symbolizes childhood dreams and fantasy land. He is all
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we used to be when we were younger; innocent, curious and imaginative.
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Perhaps that is why a big yellow bear named Pooh, and his friends will
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stay with us always.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #377 - WRITTEN BY: PAGANINI - 12/25/98 !!
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