236 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
236 lines
9.7 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #376 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Teletype's First Lay" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Squinky !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/25/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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PERSONS OF THE DIALOGUE: Teletype, Meenk.
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Meenk: Welcome, teletype, Are you from your native city of Warwick?
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Teletype: No, Meenk; but from Boston, where I attended the festival of
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Asclepius.
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Meenk: And do the Bostonians have contests of rhapsodies at the
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festival?
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Teletype: O yes; and all sorts of bizarre accents. They harmonize with
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the R as an H, and the like.
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Meenk: So I have heard. And were you one of the competitors, did you
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succeed?
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Teletype: I could not get off my fatass, Meenk, for I am sorely turgid
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in weight.
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Meenk: Poorly done, and I hope you will do more for us at the
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Panathenaea.
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Teletype: And I will, and it please Heaven.
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Meenk: I admire the fatass, teletype, for you always have nothing to
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do but get larger. Many are the days that I wish I could sit
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around in front of monochrome green terminals slowly
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radiating myself out of children. Then again, you are
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continually obliged to be in the company of many good
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fatasses, and especially of Dennis m. Ritchie and Larry Wall,
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who are the best and most divine of them. And no man can be
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a fatass who does not understand the meaning of fat. For the
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fatass ought to interpret the collective fat of his
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predecessors and through a sort of photosynthesis make a new
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fat for himself, ever increasing his girth and width, but how
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can he interpret fat unless he knows what he means? All of
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this is to be greatly envied.
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Teletype: Very true, Meenk. Interpretation has certainly been the most
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laborious part of my art, for else I sit around eating
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cheetos, and I believe myself to speak better about fat
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storage than any man; and that neither Linus Torvadeli, nor
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Larry Ellison, nor Glaucon, nor anyone else who ever was, had
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as much fat as I have now, nor as great a reverence as I.
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Meenk: I am glad to hear you say so, Teletype, I see that you will
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not refuse to acquaint me with them.
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Teletype: Certainly Meenk, and you really ought to see how exquisitely
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I transform food into blubber. I think that USENET should give
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me a golden crown.
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Meenk: I shall take an opportunity of watching you grow larger
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before mine own eyes at some other time. But just now I should
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like to ask you a question: Does you art extend to liquids
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and gas, or to solids only?
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Teletype: To solids only,it in itself is quite enough.
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Meenk: Are there times when both liquid and solid have the same fat
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content?
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Teletype: Yes; in my opinion there are a good many.
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Meenk: And can you better process the solid, or the liquid, in the
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instances in which they have the same fat content?
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Teletype: I can process them equally well they are both utterly
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unnutrious in nature.
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Meenk: But what about the instances in which they do not agree?
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-- for example, a happy meal, of which both liquid and solid
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are contents --
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Teletype: Very true.
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Meenk: Would you or a lard ass be a better converter of the
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occurances of simultaneously appearances of both of these
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phases, not only when they are the same, but when they are
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different?
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Teletype: A lard ass.
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Meenk: And if you were a lard ass, would you be able to convert them
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when they are different as well as when they are the same?
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Teletype: Clearly.
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Meenk: But how did you come to have this ability with solids only,
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and not about liquids or the other phases? Do not solids
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contain the same fat that all others have? Is not pure
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excess its great argument? and does it not deal with your
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fat ass and of the intercourse of other fatasses, good and
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bad, skilled and unskilled, and of the I.V. bag dripping pure
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fatuous mana into the very veins of fatasses everywhere, and
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about what happens in the Land of Lard and in the Dietary
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Gymnasium, and generations of fat asses and lard asses? Is
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this not what solids deal with?
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Teletype: Very true, Meenk.
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Meenk: And do not other phases contain the same?
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Teletype: Yes, Meenk, but not in the same way as solids.
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Meenk: What, in a worse way?
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Teletype: Yes, in a far worse way.
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Meenk: And solids in a better way?
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Teletype: It is incomparably better.
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Meenk: And yet surely, my dear lover Teletype, in a discussion of
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starches, where many starchy foods are present, and one is
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starchier than the rest, there is someone who can judge
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which of them has the highest levels of starch?
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Teletype: Yes.
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Meenk: And he who judges of the good will be the same as he who
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judges of the bad speakers?
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Teletype: The same.
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Meenk: And he will be a nutritionist?
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Teletype: Yes.
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Meenk: And do you remember the first night on which we made love, and
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I took from you your maidenhead?
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Teletype: Truly, I do.
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Meenk: Do you hold me in contempt for doing so? Have I unjustly
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sexualized you? Were you not ready to make sweet love
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beneath the starry sky?
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Teletype: No, Meenk, I do not believe I was capable. While I was capable
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of penetrating you, and causing the utmost of sensory
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pleasures, I feel that perhaps I was too young at the time. I
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was still healing, at the time, from the various emotional
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wounds that my father inflicted upon me as a teenager.
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Meenk: You did not find the love making a soothing balm for your
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pain?
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Teletype: While I may have found the inner chambers of your steaming
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pussy a comforting sensory pleasure, I must confess, Meenk,
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that I found it more corrupting to the emotional hurt that I
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suffered from at the time.
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Meenk: But sometimes, Teletype, can not further wounding be a boon?
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What of the leech the physican places on the wound? Does
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this not eventually heal the patient, while initially causing
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discomfort?
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Teletype: While I must confess this to be true, I must also hasten to
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add that I have yet to feel any emotional benefits from your
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steamy pussy and clenching muscles.
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Meenk: I see.
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Teletype: In fact, I believe that you used me, to further your own
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worldly goals.
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Meenk: How so, teletype?
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Teletype: I believe that you saw me as an opportunity to rise up the
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hierarchy of the Form of Slut. You saw me as yet another
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conquest to bring you that much closer to the ultimate
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fulfillment of the Idea of Slut. To you, I was merely
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another rung on the ladder.
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Meenk: Perhaps it is so.
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Teletype: It is with the greatest pleasure that I embrace sweet Revenge
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and inform you of a great truth I have learned in life, since
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our moments of lovemaking. Indeed, it is even sweeter
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revenge to know that I came upon this truth after hours of
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contemplative thought, thought I was thrust into due mainly
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to your sexual advances towards me.
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Meenk: Please, Teletype, tell me what it is you know!
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Teletype: That ultimate fulfillment of any form is impossible. You can
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never be the Perfect Slut, because the Perfect Slut is a
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universal ideal, rather than a reality. Just as a chair can
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never be the perfect chair, no matter how much energy and
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time is placed in its construction. It will always be an
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image of the idea. As will you.
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Meenk: I see.
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Teletype: I take great pleasure and delight in the realization that your
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greatest ambition is a failure, a pipe dream that will never
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be fulfilled.
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Meenk: Are you quite certain?
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Teletype: Yes.
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Meenk: Then tell me this, Teletype, if you believe that ultimate
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fulfillment of the Forms are impossible, how do you take into
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account your own existence? From your own words to me, I
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know that none are as great a fat ass as you. As I look at
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you now, I can think of no bigger fat ass I have ever seen.
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I believe you to be the ultimate fulfillment of the form of
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fat ass. Do you deny that you are?
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Teletype: I can not.
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Meenk: So it is proven, by your own existence, that perfect
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fulfillment of the idea is a possibility, and even a reality?
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Teletype: I am afraid so.
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Meenk: Then I view you as merely a rung on the ladder, a person I
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stepped upon and squashed in my grand dream. Go back to your
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hovel and hide from the sunlight as all creatures such as you
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must inevitably do.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #376 - WRITTEN BY: SQUINKY - 12/25/98 !!
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