136 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
136 lines
6.1 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #351 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ===========================================
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: "People are Dumb and Stupid and Jerks !!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: and Mean and Evil and Really Quite Cruel !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: and I Don't Like Them One Bit" !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by Squinky 12/16/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Ok, when Mogel asked me to write something for hoe, you know
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actually WRITE SOMETHING FOR HOE, rather than recycle old posts or my
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college transcript, I was like, "OK, I guess I owe that to you."
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Because, I guess I really do.
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So, what could I write for HOE?
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What could I possibly write for HOE that would be original and
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edifying and throw light onto a subject that's pertinent to us all as
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human beings?
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And I realized, it hit me in a moment of pure inspiration, I
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need to write a file about how stupid people are!
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So, ok, here goes:
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Damn, I hate people. They are as stupid as all shit. No one
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understands me anymore, and everyone is a gigantic cultural illiterate
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incapable of understanding the simplest references to things like
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Sailor Moon or Dragon Ball Z (or GT) or Hentai or James Joyce or Henry
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James or Allen Ginsberg.
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Just the other day, I said to this guy I know, "My name is Allen
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Ginsberg, and I'm crazy as a daisy."
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you know what he said?
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"What the fuck are you talking about? You're name is Jarett,
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and you aren't crazy at all."
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See? He's an idiot! I mean, ANYONE with even the SLIGHTEST
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inclination of CULTURE would be able to understand that what I said was
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a quote from a time magazine interview with Ginsberg & 2 others from
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the mid-to-late 1960s, when American was on the cusp of a social and
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political revolution.
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Or like, last weekend, at Thanksgiving, 1998, I'm sitting at
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the table and I'm talking about Al Pacino, one of our finest actors,
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and I do my impersonation of Pacino in Heat. I say, "Because she's got
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a GREAT ASS!" I even do the facial contortions and the exact same
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gesticulation that Pacino does, man, I've got it down cold. AND NO ONE
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FUCKING LAUGHS. NOT A SINGLE LAUGH. They're all a bunch of illiterate
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assholes.
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See, the problem is, as we move into the 21st century, our
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technology has numbed us to the important things in life. It used to
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be, in ages past, that people would be interested in the real things in
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life, like Love, Friendship, and Brotherhood. Now all people care about
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are cars and beepers and cellular phones. And oh yeah, LAND, man, all
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anyone ever thinks about anymore is LAND. It's because we've been
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numbed by this fast paced culture we live in, its effect is to serve as
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a general anaesthetic, making us blithely unaware of what's going around
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us.
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I call television the idiot box and the boob tube and the people
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around me get mad, because I DARE insult their fucking new God.
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Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, these things are ALL DEAD! The only
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thing that remains is Television! People worship it! You probably
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know more about the cast of friends than you do your own family!
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You fuckers!
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People are getting stupider! and there's more of them than
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ever before! We're slowly dying! Our culture is in the Winter of its
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life! Oh, god! oh god! Oh god!
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Well, I don't have much else to say, but I'd just to add in that
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I'M NOT TRYING TO BE ANGSTY AND I'M NOT ANGSTY. I've thought about this
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a whole lot, and I think my thought elevates me past the ANGST, and I'm
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not one of those people who are like, "THE WORLD IS COMING TO END!
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EVERYONE SUCKS! I'M SAD AND ANGSTY!@&($&(*$!@&*$&^*!@$&*^@!*(^@^&*($^&"
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This is serious cognitive thought you're dealing with, not some
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humble teen aged emotion.
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!!========================================================================!!
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OK.
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Well, the above is a demonstration of the NUMBER ONE TRAP H0E
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writers have the misfortune of falling into: writing a text file about
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how everyone is stupid and dumb and a jerk, and then claiming that they
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aren't angsty afterwards.
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Now, I'm not going to address the issue of whether or not these
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text files have any worth, or whether or not they're so commonplace as
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to become as mundane as pissing in the toilet, but I am going to address
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this issue of ANGST being viewed as a bad thing.
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Since I assume most people associated with H0E are illiterate,
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(including both writers and readers), I decided to put in the
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definition of ANGST in this file.
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But then, I decided I hate people who resort to dictionaries for
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justification, as dictionaries are little more than the misguided
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children of Samuel Johnson. Johnson wasn't attempting to keep the
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language static. Current dictionaries are.
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Oh what the hell:
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Angst. n : an acute but unspecific feeling of anxiety; usually
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reserved for philosophical anxiety about the world or about personal
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freedom.
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You know, inherently, there's nothing WRONG with angst.
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People *should* be angsty.
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It's as genuine an emotion as love or hate or fear, which, I'm
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sure, the mention of has evoked the standard response from all you
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HARD CORE modem people out there. You know the response I'm talking
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about, you just muttered it beneath your breath. You stupid fag.
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So, I'm not particularly inclined to making the same point over
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and over and over again, which means this article is about to end.
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here's the sum total: HOE WRITERS WRITE ABOUT PEOPLE BEING
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STUPID, REALIZE HOW STUPID IN TURN THEY HAVE BEEN, AND TRY TO DISGUISE
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IT BY CLAIMING THEY AREN'T ANGSTY.
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Don't.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #351 - WRITTEN BY: SQUINKY - 12/16/98 !!
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