103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
103 lines
5.8 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #347 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Christian Conspiracy" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Anjee !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 12/16/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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Sometimes, when IRC'ing, you may run into many wackos, freaks or
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perverts. However, "Sock" fits none of these catagories, or does he fit
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all of them? Anyhow. As most of you know, late nights and boredom can
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sometimes lead to very interesting and educational (whatever)
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conversations. Below is a log of my dear, dear friend Sock and his
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theory about the christian conspiracy. Also, I removed any comments that
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I had made during that conversation because they were mostly "hehe",
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"haha" and "LoL"s.
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NOW... Are you ready to know the truth? =)
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(P.S. Seeing this was about a year ago, I have no clue what began
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this sudden burst of truth. I dont think that matters though.)
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<The_Sock> It's part of our culture to go out and have sex b4 Marriage..
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<The_Sock> It's our way of fighting back against the church..
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<The_Sock> We'd be out havin sex b4 marriage with Nuns and Preists if
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we could, (That'd really piss the church off)
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<The_Sock> But that'll have to be next generation doing that..
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<The_Sock> See..the whole reason the church wuz ever invented wuz so
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that when ppl die, we can say "He's gone to a better place"
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<The_Sock> He hasn't gone to a better place!!
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<The_Sock> He's 6 feet underground, rotting in a box!
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<The_Sock> You call that a better place?!?!?!
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<The_Sock> Well, Now... Some theives up and die..
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<The_Sock> well, They're nawt going to a better place..
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<The_Sock> so we up and say "Heaven" says we must follow these rules to
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get to that "Better place" (Which is a box 6 feet underground
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that no one wants to end up in..)
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<The_Sock> Ok..So we strt putting ppl in control of this here "Heaven and
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gettin in.." Hence the preists, and the pope, and Cardnals..
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<The_Sock> etc etc..
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<The_Sock> So they begin making up more rules.. And they've got True
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power, cause ppl are following these rules..
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<The_Sock> Then one day, ppl ain't following the rules so much nemore..
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And they're partying and having phun, and drinking, and
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whipping their asses with the rule book..
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<The_Sock> These ppl are losing their power..
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<The_Sock> So.. One of um Goes, and knocks up his wife.. Calls their son
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Jesus.. Our Lord.. God's son, sent to save Mankind..
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<The_Sock> (When in truth, all they want is that power back...)
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<The_Sock> So.. 33 years old, this guy gets hung up on a cross, and
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poof.. he's dead.. They take the body, throw it into a tomb..
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One of the ex-powerfull ppl decide to go steal the body..
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<The_Sock> I dunna know what he did with it..Hung it up on his wall,
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Mounted the head above his fireplace, I dunno.. I don't care
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<The_Sock> All of a sudden, that "Son of God"'s entire body wuz ressurected
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either.. (Good word, I think they invented it just fer him..
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Lucky bastard.. One day I'll get a word invented fer me.. (I
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think it'll be a cross between stupid and crazy.. crupid?))
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<The_Sock> Ok..So this church is now back in power, kickin ass and takin'
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names..
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<The_Sock> They've got a buncha power now..
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<The_Sock> (And a head mounted on their wall..)
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<The_Sock> Lucky bastards..
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<The_Sock> So they start up all these holy wars..
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<The_Sock> To "Expel the deamons and bring the word of the one true God
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to every1" (Actually, to expand their territory and give
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themselves more power)
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<The_Sock> So now they're really powerfull..
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<The_Sock> Today, Not so powerful.. Ppl aren't partying and praising Cows
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and stuff like b4, now they're all interested in making cash..
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<The_Sock> So they're losing their power again..
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<The_Sock> Hence the second coming of Jesus..
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<The_Sock> well, guess what.. Some other poor fool's head is gunna be
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mounted on the pope's wall soon, because it's a crock of
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shit..
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<The_Sock> And they keep pushing the rules on us..
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<The_Sock> So FUCK THEM!!!
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<The_Sock> (Especially some of the nuns..they're pretty cute, and the
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fact that they've never been doinked b4 is pretty kewl)
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<The_Sock> We're gunna go over there and infect their "Holy Lines" With
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Good ole fashion WHITE TRASH!!!
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<The_Sock> So Now we populate and propegate..
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<The_Sock> And next generation.. My Sons... Are gunna be doinking those
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nuns that I never got to..
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<The_Sock> (They'll be old by then, but hopefully they'll still be cute)
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<The_Sock> And my daughters are gunna be ridin the preists..
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<The_Sock> We'll fuck their holy line outta them..
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<The_Sock> But our generation can only fuck eachother to get back at the
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church..
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<The_Sock> (Church still has to much power..But we're changing that)
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<The_Sock> So to the church.. I give.. My Right buttcheek followed by my
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left...
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<The_Sock> To the lil kids out their bird doggin chicks and bangin beaver,
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I give ya thumbs up..
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<The_Sock> To the church.. No thumbs.. Ya get the finger..
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* The_Sock has spoken.. Al-leigh-luya!
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #347 - WRITTEN BY: ANJEE - 12/16/98 !!
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