96 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
96 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTASY PRESS RELEASE #319 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Girls That Write Text Files Know !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: Everything About Love" !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: by -> Mogel 12/9/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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This article is for all the fellas. It's an established,
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scientific fact that the majority of girls on planet earth suck. But
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have you ever wondered to yourself, "where could I possibly meet a
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cool girl? One that understands me, is intelligent, *and* fun? Is
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that possible?"
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If such a thing *is* possible, it can then be safely said that
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girls who write text files would be the best place to look for love.
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So, when choosing your next potential girlfriend, this would be a great
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place to look.
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Obviously there's the standard argument about any computer girl:
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If you are a 'loser' like myself, and spend any degree of "too much
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time" online, finding a girl on the computer is more likely someone you
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can readily relate to. But Text File Girls are that... and so much
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more!
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But, you may ask, why *text files*?
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Articulation, my friends. The text file writer spends some
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portion of their computer-related time composing their thoughts, being
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introspective, and (ideally) finding something clever to say. This
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process is simple -- she is working on her communication skills. Indeed,
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this could also be *theoretically* done through such things as e-mail,
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making an interesting web page, writing in general, or even chat
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(although usually not) -- but none of these mediums do the job as
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effectively and clearly as writing a text file.
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The girl text file writer must carefully choose her words, and
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quite often must express her thoughts to a potential mass-audience. The
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e-mail writer or chat user is lazy, or disinterested. We all know both
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mediums are a very poor substitute for conversation, and therefore
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limited, since that is what their aim is at simulating. The text file
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writer is focused on *writing*, *style*, and expressing themself.
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Let's speak comparatively for a moment. This is an example your
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average HappyChat Girl.
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<sweettits> hehehehe a/s/l???
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Is this the kind of person you honestly want to get to know in
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real life? HappyChat Girl conversations consist of endless flirtation,
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thousands of emoticons, and of course, the traditional "JPG exchange"!
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Comparatively speaking, if it's between a text file and a sexy JPG -- the
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JPG might (hopefully) incite lust, but text file is really what is going
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to show the girl's thinking and personality and the stuff that makes
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love last.
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A sexy, non-t-file girl can only impress you so much. Even
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if she's got breasts the size of mountains, there's just so many times
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you can see them before you get used to them. If a girl is relying
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solely on her attractiveness, she's going to end up being ignored
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eventually. That's how life is. A Text File Girl will continually be
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able to create interesting things for you to read and (hopefully)
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appreciate.
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You can also detect quite a lot about a girl based on the text
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files she writers, socio-linguistically. The words they choose can
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usually tell you quite a bit about their background, personality,
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culture, hipness, likes and dislikes, and so on. Even the way she uses
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her grammar can allow you to compare how anal-retentive you are with
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the girl in question.
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For example, if Murmur were reading a text file with mistakes,
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he would say, "That's completely absurd! She can't even use her
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apostrophes correctly$#@!" and would immediately fall to the floor in
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convulsions.
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Even starting conversation with a Text Files Girl is usually
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easy. Her writing basically can serve as an ideal starting point for
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any conversation. You can discuss your opinions on them, give feedback
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on how it was written, and so on. Be aware that disagreeing with the
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content of the text file will vary from girl to girl, and from subject
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to subject, depending on her level of sensitivity.
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HOE E'zine is very pleased to have probably more female writers
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than any other text file group in history. Yet another testimony of
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why we're cool and you're not. Okay, that's a lie. You're cool, too.
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Just not as much.
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No offense.
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #319 - WRITTEN BY: MOGEL - 12/9/98 !!
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