109 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
109 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #276 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: ===========================================
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "Librarian Phone Sex" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Mutter !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/9/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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I actually worked at a library for quite some time (putting
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thousands of books back on countless shelves day in and day out can be
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about as rewarding as it sounds). While working there I got to know
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several librarians. As is the case with most people I always had this
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notion that librarians were just quiet, mild mannered members of the
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community. But as I soon learned, this was not the case. Behind those
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coke-bottle glasses and pocket protectors lies a different side that
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most people don't get to see... a dark side.
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One day, while walking into the building I noticed one of my book
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keeper co-workers quietly whispering in the phone with his eyes closed.
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When he noticed me staring he quickly hung up the phone and headed
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towards the back room. As the door to the back room slammed closed I
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noticed a little LED light up on the phone indicating that the line was
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suddenly in use. Curiousity got the better of me and I slowly lifted up
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the receiver to hear...
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1-9-0-0-B-O-O-K-S-E-X
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<brrrring>
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<...>
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<brrrring>
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<click>
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"hello, baby."
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"hey, whom I speaking with?"
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"Margret, the librarian, baby. Who's this?"
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"Irving. What do you look like?"
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"I'm 6'1, old, and wear my hair in a bun."
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"yeah, baby."
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"I also have bi-foculs... THICK bifoculs."
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"oh yeah, baby, tell me how thick."
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"VERY thick. Almost a half inch."
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"Yeahhhh. I'm touching your books, Margret."
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"Oooo, that feels good."
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"I'm shelving your books, baby."
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"Please do. Harder."
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"I'm really using my dewy decimal system now."
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"Ohhh. Come on, baby. Slide those books in gently."
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"Yeah. I'm reading your shelves, baby."
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"Look me up in the card catalog."
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"ohh yeah, Margret."
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"Now what are you going to do to me?"
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"It seems you've been a bad girl, margeret. Your books are overdue."
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"Oh, baby, punish me."
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"I'll show you how you'll pay your fine. First I'll take the
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transaction card and slide it into the book's pocket."
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"Ohhh, yeah, come on, irving."
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"...then I slide the transaction card out... in and out... in and out...
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uhhhhhhhhhh."
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"Yeahhh, bring it on home, irving."
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"Gimme some dewey decimal action, margeret."
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"oh yeah, 398.27a."
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"Uhhh."
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"612.80p"
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"Oh yeahhh"
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"976.57s"
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"uhhhhh... Yeah, baby. I'll talk to you again tomorrow."
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<click>
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Careful, "a pretty face can hide an evil mind". Run from those
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bookworm sickos!@#
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #276 - WRITTEN BY: MUTTER - 11/9/98 !!
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