84 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
84 lines
4.0 KiB
Plaintext
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'##::::'##:::'#####:::'########: VIVA LA REVOLUCION! CERDO DEL CAPITALISTA!!
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##:::: ##::'##.. ##:: ##.....:: =========================================!!
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##:::: ##:'##:::: ##: ##::::::: THE HELOTS OF ECSTACY PRESS RELEASE #262 !!
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#########: ##:::: ##: ######::: ZIEGO VUANTAR SHALL BE MUCH VICTORIOUS! !!
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##.... ##: ##:::: ##: ##...:::: =========================================!!
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##:::: ##:. ##:: ##:: ##::::::: "An Act of God" !!
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##:::: ##::. #####::: ########: by -> Jesse !!
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..:::::..::::.....::::........:: 11/3/98 !!
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!!========================================================================!!
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i'm pissed. i have angst. i recently received a jvc (c) brand
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portable cd player. being the concerned customer that i am i read the
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warranty card. i began reading what it does not cover. it read something
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like below.
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WHAT IS NOT COVERED:
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blahblah blah _blah_
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1: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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2: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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3: blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
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blah blah blah blah
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4: damage that occurs in shipment, due to act of god, and cosmetic damage.
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everything after that is useless, but i was confused about that act
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of god statement. since when has god been interested in the warranties of
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jvc (c) brand cd players? furthermore, by that statement they act as if
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god is on their side. god says, don't steal. at the price they sell us
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these electronics, god, in theory, would strike them down. i want god on
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my side. it should say "does not cover if: god strikes you down with
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repeated bolts of lightning."
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god doesn't even exist.
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i'm an atheist, but it pisses me off that god is getting so much
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free publicity. atheists don't get so much advertisement, let alone free.
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hm. i wonder if these god sponsoring companies think about their
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god much. my guess is not. maybe they have a different god then most
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people, because last i checked, god didn't approve of paying workers
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pennys a week. thats last time i checked, things might have changed.
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god doesn't exist though.
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either way, whether god exists or not, there is no dispute that old
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cheese smells, be it on a jvc (c) brand portable cd player or not. i
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wonder if god could change this, because i'd like my cheese to not stink.
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cheese looks and more importantly taste better when its not stinky. there
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is no dispute about this. this is nearly common knowledge, i should
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think, aside from third world countries who do not know about cheese, jvc
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(c) brand portable cd players, or god.
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but really, there is no god.
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i mean, what kind of god allows jvc (c) brand portable cd players
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to break, or cheese to stink? i mean, this is truly prepostrous. most
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people would not let cheese get stinky, and we are in god's image. so
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what kind of message is this sending to the children? they see god lets
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cheese go stinky, hence we are raising heretic children. we need another
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inquisition about right now. we need to get all the people responsible
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for stinky cheese. we need to go after god too, because he is the brains
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behind this crazy scheme. he is responsible for the general public
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creating stinky cheese.
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but in all seriousness, there is no god.
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the children, the children i tell you. for the love of christ man,
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do it for the children. can they help it if they are raised in a world
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of stinky cheese? no, for they do not know any better. stop supporting
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god and say no to stinky cheese. our pro-choice stance is negotiable, but
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we are adamant about our cheese.
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well, maybe there is a god?
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!!========================================================================!!
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!! (c) !LA HOE REVOLUCION PRESS! #262 - WRITTEN BY: JESSE -- 11/3/98 !!
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