62 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
62 lines
3.2 KiB
Plaintext
$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #259
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "Being Accepted In Public" <<
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by -> Chris Cox
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Now, all of us have had bad times out in public, be it the
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occasional fly being down, or tripping on a crack, or what have you. But
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some of us really know how to make a complete cock out of ourselves in public
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For example, I saw this guy at the mall the other day, he looked to
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be about 30 or so, dressed totally like some punk guy, with a chain wallet,
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spiked hair, and everything. He looked pretty cool from a distance. But,
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as i got up closer to him, i noticed that his shirt said "offspring - smash"
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on the front of it. I was like 'boy, that guy sure is a cockhead.' but hey,
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that's why i'm here. i will give you tips on how not to look like a dumb fuck
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in public...
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lesson 1 - don't wear band shirts. and if you do, make sure no one has ever
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heard of the band on the shirt
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lesson 2 - only wear a chain wallet if you have money or condoms to keep in
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it. never wear one for style. and never wear one that is so grossly huge
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that it knocks you off-balance
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lesson 3 - don't wear No Fear Geer in public. don't wear it in private
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either.
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lesson 4 - if you're going to be loud, do it in a positive way. because no
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one really wants to hear "HEY JIMMY!! YOU ARE A FUCKING DUMB ASS SHIT HEADED
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ASSHOLE!!" screamed across the mall...what they'd rather hear is "HOLY SHIT!
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FIGHT! FIGHT! BLOOD!"...get the picture?..good..
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lesson 5 - never ridicule someone bigger than you just to earn the respect of
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your friends. for example, i saw these 12 year old punks at the 7-eleven on
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friday night, smoking cigarattes, and just hangin' out, which is perfectly
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fine. but then a group of us, ages 16-21 roll up in our hooptee, and get out
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to go buy smokes and slurpees and shit. and my friend who's like 6 foot 5
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was walkin' in, when one of the kids said to the other 'shit, man, look at
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that big tall pussy tryin' to be all that'. so my friend stopped, told us
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to come outside, and we beat the crap out of the kid and took his money,
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while his friend left him there and ran home like a pussy. so the moral of
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the story is : your friends will always ditch you
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being accepted in public is not that hard, as long as you don't try
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to be something you're not, or try to act all bad. just chill, and go with
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the flow, and you'll be ok. and if you don't follow all of these lessons
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to the word, you'll be looked at as a total fucking jackass.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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* (c) HoE publications. HoE #259 -- written by Chris Cox -- 8/16/98 *
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