1006 lines
27 KiB
Plaintext
1006 lines
27 KiB
Plaintext
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$$$$$$$$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$$$ hogz of entropy #199
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$$$$$P $$$$ $$$$ moo, oink, up your butt.
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$$$$P $$$$ x$$$$
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$$$P $$$$ xP$$$$ d$$$$$$$$$$$.
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$$$. $$$$xP $$$$ $$$$$$' >$$$$
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$$$$$$$$$. $$$$P $$$$ 4$$$$$. .$$$$'
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$$$$'`4$$$b. $$$$ $$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$P'
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$$$$b 4$$$$b. $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$< %%
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$$$$$b 4$$$$$x $$$$$$$$$$$ 4$$$$$$$$$ %%
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>> "POETRY EXPLOSION!" <<
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by -> Various Artists
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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This issue is jam-packed full of good, bad, funny, pointless,
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strange, and absolutely horrible verse... all for your reading pleasure!
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Can *you* tell which is brilliant and which is completely stupid?
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We DARE you.
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This issue features h0etry from the following authors:
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abc, aster, captain bovine, girlie18, hrothgar, jane, jook,
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jubjub, kaia, kraftwerk, kurdt, lumpy, melvin kumar, mogel,
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mooer, moonbagel, murmur, muze, neko, nevin, ogre de latoya,
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pezmonkey, quarex, sighrik, styx, swisspope, and trilobyte.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "The Evil Comes"
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- by abc (aster's brother!)
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When the evil comes,
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The good will run.
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Far from home,
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They are alone.
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They cross the great ocean far,
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To find a route towards a small star.
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A shark lays down its good life,
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To take out the King of Good's wife.
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They land at the northern shore,
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To find many tales of lore.
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The first is of a great king,
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The second telling of many things.
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The Wind, The Water, The Fire, The earth,
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And finally, above all, the tale of great birth.
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When the Evil first came,
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The Good fled to a new claim.
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They went west, then north,
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Then landed till Evil came forth.
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They waited one generation,
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Then the Evil started a new station.
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There soldiers filled the distant land,
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And the Good's journey began again.
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The Good will travel for many days,
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Never stopping till the air grays.
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When the reach that stingy place,
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The Evil will kill them, leaving no trace.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "joe"
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- by aster
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Hi my name is joe
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I have no foe
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so call me moe
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I think I might
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have an infected toe
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and when they complain
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about the rain
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I just say so?
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and yet they're
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still insane
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or is it I
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that needs a cane
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to hold me up
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from the pain
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of that toe
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or is it moe?
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that drives me
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mentally insane
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My head is big
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(so's my toe)
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I wish it would not grow
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tied it with a big red bow
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and wore some sandles
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to let it show
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and I decided to walk
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down the lane
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in the rain
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and drives me
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mentally insane
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- "4 those who'll never know"
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- by girlie18
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WHO CAN TELL ME HOW TO FEEL
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WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT TO SEE
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THOSE WHO TRY
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TRY IN VAIN
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FOR THE ONLY EYES THAT
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TOUCH MY SOUL
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ARE CLOSED TO HIDE THE PAIN
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "some things i'll never understand"
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- by girlie18
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i'm easily confused
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by human emotion
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its complex thoughts
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so much commotion
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just for once
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i'd want to know
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why i feel
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so damn low
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so someone teach me
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to get away
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have some fun
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seize the day
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lose my thoughts
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find myself
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exit from
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this private hell
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forget about the days gone by
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only know...
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don't ask why
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Save Me"
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- by Hrothgar
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Save me
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From myself
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Take the knife
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And take the gun
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Turn around, and run
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Because if you come back.
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Who knows I might yack
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If you don't take the knife and run.
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There, I just wrote a poem for you, Mogel.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "A Poem"
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- by Jane (head editor of the e'zine "Seductive Monkey Poses" [SMP])
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when we live in a world
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where suicide is handed to us
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and love is so imposible to many
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death is also welcomed
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when power is craved
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because we think it will take us
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places the man standing behing you
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has never gone.
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no one cares if they love
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before they die.
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death is also welcomed in a world
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like this.
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when technology is the key
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to the future
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that is so much worse than the past
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in a world like this,
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living is considered dying.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "grrl = green pees"
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- by jook
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i werk all day on eyearecee
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to get de best warez
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so i can get my girl real nice green pees
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green pees, green pees
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i hear the horns
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i must be in vegas
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counting cards
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is it legal?
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just as long as i can get my girl real nice green pees
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i hear the rattle
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i must be back in 'nam
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they didn't give us pees in nam, not green or even blue
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but once i got back from 'nam
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i ate pees
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so did my girl, she ate real nice green pees
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "i gotta go"
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- by jubjub
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fish like to say glubglub
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fish are squishy in my pants
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they make me want to dance
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my schoolmate patrick has a big butt
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when i play miniature golf i like to putt
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time for a liverwurst sandwich
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hillary clinton sure is a bitch (not really)
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Varmints"
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- by Kaia
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Nuggy's daily life revolves round sippin' fruit tea
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and weasel huntin', two pastimes common to the hooligans in town.
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Cause down by the Heaven candy factory on Main,
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the brewin' comp'ny offers eighty-three cent per weasel head
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All in (secret)
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One rumor is that the beer company uses weasel in its special brew.
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I also heard the gestapo might be payin' off the beer factory to
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help cut down on, you know, the town's bad rap for Dugster and
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his geetars that use weasel guts for strings. But it's like,
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What come first, the geetar or the egg?
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And so on Mondays we take our sacks of varmints and
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gather round the big door and pass 'em
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one-by-one through the letter-slot,
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and they send back the dough through the same hole,
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no questions ask.
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Then we hop over to Mungo's to pick up his candy, so
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by the time we hit Heaven, man, it's like,
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we livin' in Wonka-land, close your eyes and all
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the girls and the Ooompaloompas be dancin'!
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One day we decide to play a little joke and
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after passin' all the weasel through the hole we
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stick a fucking neon light-stick through and
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follow it wit' some Cheese Whiz and there's no reaction.
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So we take turns takin' a piss through the door and
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Harvey can force himself to puke so he did that
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and the smell was so bad that
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three more of us puked through the door
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and then Crisco stuffed in pictures of
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his ex-girlfriend who broke all ten commandments at once
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and then
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we
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stopped
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and ran for dear life.
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We ran to Mungo's and
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he gave us the candy and
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we continued running and
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we were running into lightpoles and
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running on top of each others' tails and
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the weasels were on our tails and
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we became weasels and
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it began raining raisins and
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books became crooks and the suns became guns and i felt myself being shot
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and scooped up and dead and shoved through a hole crusted with fur and
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piss and vomit and ex-girlfriends' snatches and then i felt my head being
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liquefied and my brains were poured into a brown glass bottle and shipped
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to New Jersey, where all the wild zings are.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Ode to Hooker"
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- by Kraftwerk
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Oh hooker, H is for the happiness you bring us.
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Oh hooker, O is for the obfuscation that you cause us.
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Oh hooker, O is for the op's that you give us.
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Oh hooker, K is for the k-rad way in which you give us your love.
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Oh hooker, E is for the endearment that you have in our hearts.
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Oh hooker, R is for the rainy days that you make brighter.
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Oh hooker, you have a special place in our hearts.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "an aardvark meets the pope"
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- by kraftwerk
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the aardvark crawled slowly through the night
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and the people, they were absorbed with fright
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it waddled over to the giraffe
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and it asked "can I stick this in your ass"
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not waiting for an answer
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the aardvark started to prancer
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it shoved a stick up it's butt
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and calmly said, "now I go to put"
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so the aardvark went to the green
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where it was waiting to be seen
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it took up a putter
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and put on a crupper
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being so lazy, it sat on the grass
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he heard the bell toll "it was time for mass"
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he sat on the pew
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drinking his Dew
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along came the pope,
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with some soap on a rope
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he went up to the cross
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and bellowed that god was 'boss'
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the service was done
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and the aardvark was dumb
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for the giraffe came and found him
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and pulled the stick out of his ass
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he danced a quick jig
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and ate a big fig
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it stepped on the aardvark
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said something like "fart fart"
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and sat down for a nap.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "mockery"
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- by kurdt
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i don't wonder why anyone makes fun of what goes on here,
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but i've got the common sense to not even waste my time,
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making fun of what goes on here
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*in fact*
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i wouldn't waste my time making fun of you,
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for making fun of what goes on here.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Ode to Shadow Tao"
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- by lumpy
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When you kick me out of your internet relay chat channel,
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And im forced to come back from a different hostname,
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and ask you why youre such an angry little man,
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you always get fed up and start cursing...
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and it makes me wonder if when you were a little boy,
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kids would poke fun at you and make you cry,
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because mister tao, when you kick me off of irc,
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i no longer feel like the irc warrior ive always
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aspired to be.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Very Painful"
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- by Melvin Kumar (this little gem was discovered by mooer!)
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Acting strange,
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thats what i am,
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when i am with you,
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I want you,
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I need you,
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I can't show it to you,
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I yearn for you,
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I say i want to kiss you
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we both laugh and tease
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but my heart yearns for that kiss...
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those sweet lips...
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I feel so happy when you're near me....
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I act so diffrent..I feel so differnt...
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I need you but I can't have you...
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If i had a last dance with you....
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I won't....I won't.....
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It hurts....
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ti kills....
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to remember the last moments...
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I know...
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I've being there...
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Do you know....
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I'm dying for you....
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If only you know...
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Actor as I am...
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Nights pass by...
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but never a day..
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without me thinking of you..
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Why?
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You're unreachable...
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I know then...
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I know now...
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I love You.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "my baby's got sauce"
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- by mooer (dedicated to eerie!)
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when you put your feet in my mouth up on the desk
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the urgency of cezanne's angst eats fibers out of the air
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what, pray tell has bulbous tumors of rot have
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in store for me to buy like a gunshot to the head with a baby flashlight
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and so, you say that you have millions of years to hear my story
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well, babydoll, you ain't got that funk up your arm
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chills, short sleeves can't hide shit
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the papal turbine of hate churns out smooth butter
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to grease you up and slide you out like
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sugar on the cupcake
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and that is why the dryer is a wetter.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "i think i lost steam on the second one"
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- by mooer (dedicated to two stuffed bunnies!)
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tears of anger hunger like the desert cactus on a camel
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your kantian disinterest makes my smile melt
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falling into the robust yogurt culture of the tribe
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trivialize my hurt, laugh at my pain, you asshole
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you might as well rip my right tentacle into two parts
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of the play i call the act of my life
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bite the fuzzy wavelength that makes the bored spin around in
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a violent circle the blood swirls. shallow
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pirates make way in the deep waters of my caribbean soul.
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nevertheless, your birthday does not excuse the rubber
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on your head. quit bouncing.
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fornicate in the crib, it's the
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shit.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "My Third Grade Genius"
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- by MoonBagel
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There once was a bird named Fred
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He fell out of his nest on his head
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He was severely brain damaged
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He had to be bandaged
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That stupid old bird named Fred
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Don't Eat The Paste"
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- The Original
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- by Captain Bovine
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i changed me web page
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but then I was awoken by VERY LOUD METALICA
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i think my sister did it
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silly girls
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I can rhyme
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even though it's kinda wacked because I forgot to change some small things
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'mono' in Spanish means 'cute' and 'monkey'
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Kierkegaard was Danish
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naughty
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i'm the only one who finds me funny
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they used to make me feel stupid, but they don't anymore
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sex does that to people
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it's hard to do
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we should talk about cute things and monkeys
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we'll start when I think of something good to say
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it's hard to do
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I can speak crap better than I can type crap
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you are so silly. mean and silly.
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ooh, maybe I get to watch you crash
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reboot!!
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you're good for other things
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pOOp
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and cookies
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and a keyboard condom
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Don't Eat The Paste"
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- The "Don't Cut with Scissors, Mooniegirlwhoiscool?" Remix
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- by MoonBagel
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we'll start when I think of something good to say
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no.. i'd use protection
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silly girls
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I can rhyme
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i don't know who to put that I love, katie.
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i changed me web page
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i think my sister did it
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i'm the only one who finds me funny
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I can speak crap better than I can type crap
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'mono' in Spanish means 'cute' and 'monkey'
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and a keyboard condom
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because I really shouldn't attempt to draw a monkey
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we should talk about cute things and monkeys
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ooh, maybe I get to watch you crash
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Kierkegaard was Danish
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sex does that to people
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and cookies
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even though it's kinda wacked because I forgot to change some small things
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it's hard to do
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naughty
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it's a funny word
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but then I was awoken by VERY LOUD METALICA
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Drew's not on?
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they used to make me feel stupid, but they don't anymore
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you're good for other things
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you are so silly. mean and silly.
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reboot!!
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Don't Eat The Paste"
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- The "Samsara Maybe Never" Remix
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- by Mogel
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naughty naughty naughty
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they used to make me feel
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because i really shouldn't
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when i think of something good.
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ooh, maybe i get to watch you
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watch you
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it's hard to do
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i forgot to change.
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sex does that to people. silly girls.
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i can rhyme,
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it's kinda wacked.
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I was awoken by VERY LOUD METALICA and cookies,
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it's a funny word...
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you are so _silly_. mean and silly.
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the only one who finds me funny.
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ooh, maybe I get to watch you
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I get to watch you
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I get to watch
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maybe I get to watch you
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maybe I get to watch
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get to watch you
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maybe I get to watch you
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...crash.
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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- "Don't Eat The Paste"
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- The "Wanna Go Home Bad" Remix
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- by Nevin, a 8-year-old boy that Mogel's parents are babysitting right now.
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Kierkegaard pOOp sex Kierkegaard
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when I think of Kierkegaard pOOp sex Kierkegaard maybe I can rhyme
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but it's hard to do
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anyway you're good for other things anyway
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Kierkegaard
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we'll start when I think silly girls shouldn't attempt to draw silly girls
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I love Spanish sisters who finds me funny and 'cute'
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because I can speak crap better,
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even though it's kinda wacked
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no.. i'd use me web page when I think of something good to say.
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I can type crap.
|
|
|
|
katie and Drew: make naughty cookies and reboot!!
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "may ye all be leahy"
|
|
- by murmur (a villanelle, even)
|
|
|
|
i do not have to heed the words you preach
|
|
but i will not deny your right to say
|
|
you best not try to regulate my speech
|
|
|
|
you try to educate; you try to teach
|
|
but exon, d - nebraska, joined the fray
|
|
we do not have to heed the words they preach
|
|
|
|
to jail me for the files that i leech
|
|
is just your quest; my rights to rest you lay
|
|
you should not try to regulate my speech
|
|
|
|
we can not see the wit of chong and cheech?
|
|
we can not hear the streat-smart speak of dre?
|
|
why should we aim to heed the words you preach?
|
|
|
|
i can not send the lyrics file for _bleach_
|
|
the sys admin will not allow today
|
|
why do they try to regulate our speech?
|
|
|
|
our rights as citizens you choose to breach
|
|
closed-mindedness is forcing us to pay
|
|
but i won't heed the words the law does preach
|
|
oh no, you will not regulate my speech.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "buenos sartenes"
|
|
- by murmur
|
|
|
|
!cuando te veo ( when i see you
|
|
no puedo hablar, pero i can not speak, but
|
|
deseo que poder! i wish that i could! )
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "I Confess"
|
|
- by Muze
|
|
|
|
I confess to being a girl
|
|
for being so stupid
|
|
for not doing as I should
|
|
I confess to not thinking of you
|
|
for changing my mind
|
|
for saying I'm sorry
|
|
I confess to falling in love
|
|
for needing you here
|
|
for not letting you go
|
|
I confess to struggling for my best effort
|
|
for it not being enough for you
|
|
for giving up on myself.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "God's Pee"
|
|
- by Neko
|
|
|
|
Kickin' it old school
|
|
In a swimming pool
|
|
Bust a fucking jam
|
|
Make all the punk ass suckers drool
|
|
Like back in the day
|
|
When Naughty by Nature sang
|
|
Hip hop hurray
|
|
Looking for porn
|
|
at 3 in the morn
|
|
Tugging and jerking
|
|
Eating some gherkins
|
|
that I bought at the store
|
|
from my bitch, she's a whore
|
|
Surfing on the net
|
|
My pants is all wet
|
|
And this rap is boring
|
|
And the rain is pouring
|
|
Down on me
|
|
Yo, is rain really God's pee?
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "Ogre's Brain"
|
|
- by Ogre De Latoya
|
|
|
|
#include <ogresbrain.h>
|
|
|
|
void main (void)
|
|
{
|
|
int food;
|
|
int sleep;
|
|
int fun;
|
|
long sight;
|
|
long sound;
|
|
long touch;
|
|
long taste;
|
|
|
|
while (!dead) {
|
|
if (food < HUNGRY)
|
|
getfood(&food);
|
|
|
|
if (sleep < SLEEPY)
|
|
getsleep(&sleep);
|
|
|
|
if (fun < BOREDOM)
|
|
getfun(&fun);
|
|
|
|
sight = checkvision();
|
|
|
|
if (sight == SUCKS)
|
|
printf("That sucks.\n");
|
|
else
|
|
printf("That rocks.\n");
|
|
|
|
sound = checkhearing();
|
|
|
|
if (sound == SUCKS)
|
|
printf("This sucks, change it.\n");
|
|
else
|
|
printf("This rocks.\n");
|
|
|
|
taste = checktongue();
|
|
|
|
if (taste == SUCKS) {
|
|
spitout(food);
|
|
printf("Eeew\n");
|
|
} else {
|
|
swallow(food);
|
|
printf("Werd\n");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "my uncle"
|
|
- by pezmonkey
|
|
|
|
it's all about sex
|
|
says my uncle
|
|
because he likes sheep
|
|
a lot.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "HAIKUS THAT QUAREX WROTE IN 3RD GRADE"
|
|
- by Quarex
|
|
|
|
The Fluffy Puppy
|
|
Smashes Hard into a Tree
|
|
Hee Hee Hee, it's Dead
|
|
|
|
The Big Snowball Fight
|
|
The Weak Guys are Getting Slammed
|
|
People are Dying
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
"Accidental Merge"
|
|
by Quarex
|
|
|
|
Eggrolls and Broomsticks and Forebones on Narwhals
|
|
Reload that shotgun and pick up those snowballs
|
|
This is the future of combat
|
|
This is the third bloated wombat
|
|
Drop a lemur
|
|
Break your femur
|
|
Shattering bones is my cup of tea.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "a light in the darkness"
|
|
- by sighrik
|
|
|
|
waves of electrons, waves of emotion
|
|
irc is an island and i am a boat--
|
|
|
|
sinking
|
|
|
|
water flooding in flooding flooding
|
|
sinking flooding flooding sinking
|
|
|
|
dying
|
|
|
|
and then there's a beacon like another
|
|
boat--not sinking--floating--coming
|
|
|
|
saving
|
|
|
|
a voice in the waste coming clearly
|
|
"hi i'm a bot. god invited me here."
|
|
|
|
salvation
|
|
|
|
like jesus christ out of the ocean
|
|
the bot that likes you was there
|
|
|
|
noppa
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "open wide"
|
|
- by styx
|
|
|
|
you little shit
|
|
your words are like precum
|
|
slow and incomplete
|
|
and ineffective
|
|
i look forward to you
|
|
bleeding on my dick when i
|
|
introduce it to your
|
|
colon
|
|
it will be fast and complete
|
|
and effective
|
|
and will make you walk like a
|
|
retarded little duckling
|
|
and all the boys in school will
|
|
ask you why you are
|
|
walking like that
|
|
and you will have to say
|
|
that you fell off your bike
|
|
or something
|
|
funny like that you
|
|
little shit
|
|
you can never own up
|
|
to anything not even
|
|
justice
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "My First Sexual Encounter"
|
|
- by Swiss Pope
|
|
|
|
The study session for math was coming to a close,
|
|
I packed up my books and from my chair I rose.
|
|
Pushing back my glasses, I spot something from the corner of my eye,
|
|
What's this?!, me thinks, it's a bonnie lass that I spy!
|
|
|
|
Mustering up my courage, I approach the desk where she sits,
|
|
"Would you like a ride home?" I stutter in my nervousness.
|
|
She looks up at me with her big brown eyes,
|
|
"Hmm.. Allright" she says with a sigh.
|
|
|
|
Leading her through the door, we trudge to my car.
|
|
With a wink, I assure her that my Camaro is not far.
|
|
Her eyes light up and she pulls to me closer.
|
|
"I really admire a man whose car is something to show for."
|
|
|
|
She hops into the backseat and caresses the leather interior.
|
|
Shifting into first gear, I demonstrate that the acceleration's superior.
|
|
Faster! she squeals as I cruise down the street,
|
|
When the speedometer hit 70 I knew I was in for a treat.
|
|
|
|
I felt her hands as she ran them through my hair,
|
|
Then she unbuttoned her blouse and revealed her nice pair.
|
|
"Damn! This chick's titties are fine!" I think, keeping my cool.
|
|
The car sped up even faster as we listened to Tool.
|
|
This was a dream of a lifetime for me, the 300-lb fat guy loner,
|
|
There was a hot chick on my lap, stroking my boner!
|
|
She looked into my eyes; lustfully licked her lips
|
|
I smoothly slid my hands on her curveaceous hips.
|
|
|
|
She softly whispered something into my ear,
|
|
Unfortunately, the music was too loud for me to hear.
|
|
Nonetheless, I knew it was something good
|
|
So I slipped my hand down her pants and touched her clitoral hood.
|
|
|
|
She kept rubbing my dick-- my nut was gonna bust!
|
|
That would surely be the end of this evening of lust!
|
|
I took a quick right turn; pulled into a gas station nearby,
|
|
For I knew that the herb Ginseng would be found inside.
|
|
|
|
"Wait here!" I said as I zipped up my pants,
|
|
I ran into the store after giving her one last glance.
|
|
Through the aisles I frenzied, anxiously looking for the magical root
|
|
That would guarantee at least one more hour until my sperm would shoot.
|
|
|
|
When out in the parking lot I heard a deafening roar
|
|
That bitch peeled out in my red sports car!
|
|
I ran outside and chased her for a couple of yards,
|
|
But I knew that all was lost. I was such a tard.
|
|
|
|
A wino approached me and laughed. As if my ordeal was funny!
|
|
Like a philosopher he said, "Life ain't nuttin but bitchez 'n money."
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "god's green platter"
|
|
- by trilobyte
|
|
|
|
eat your coffeecake, wafers and wine
|
|
as insects hide between the lines.
|
|
long since dead, but corpses remain --
|
|
reminders of ancient social strain.
|
|
|
|
take from the plate what is given to you
|
|
ignore what the world has been trying to prove
|
|
stray from the flock but in a minute or two
|
|
you'll promptly be shoved back into the groove.
|
|
|
|
so dish out shit for whom you serve.
|
|
drink your coffee and spread your word.
|
|
but be aware that some observe
|
|
your food still reeks of age-old turd.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "peace & happy"
|
|
- by trilobyte
|
|
|
|
another cuddly judge makes life miserable
|
|
for a scraggly, prickly individual
|
|
who was trying for peace & happy.
|
|
|
|
supreme powers metamorph to belittle
|
|
with the backing of the pope and the law.
|
|
it's the end of justice, end of happy for us all!
|
|
|
|
time to run from the mystic
|
|
for he's the one with the not-dead goo,
|
|
blasphemic divine intentions,
|
|
stinky foul breath from ages of spewing
|
|
poisonous elastic jargon.
|
|
|
|
walk in the park and
|
|
endlessly changing directions --
|
|
right, wrong, left, north --
|
|
with the compass of a corpse
|
|
-- and the morals of a convict
|
|
and friends follow closely behind!
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "punishment to the wine drinkers"
|
|
- by trilobyte
|
|
|
|
still open to suggestions?
|
|
it's time to change your mind.
|
|
|
|
from one percent to two percent
|
|
you're lurking in the rain
|
|
with parachutes and combat boots
|
|
you microwave my shame.
|
|
|
|
for seven years i've left the corn
|
|
to rot out in the dew;
|
|
but still i don't kill chickens
|
|
when they doodoo in my shoe.
|
|
|
|
come in, the part that doesn't rhyme
|
|
to fill some empty space.
|
|
the reader of this horrid poem
|
|
should now prepare their mace!
|
|
|
|
iggly gobbly goo,
|
|
juniper grows with the yew.
|
|
trees have lots of leaves to keep
|
|
some shade for my old jew.
|
|
|
|
because
|
|
|
|
how once you ate my dignity
|
|
the gull will never know.
|
|
|
|
but he will get real fidgety
|
|
if frozen in the snow!
|
|
|
|
nonsense is but glue to me
|
|
(your shoe has come untied)
|
|
so i plead for my lobotomy
|
|
to end this crazy ride.
|
|
|
|
hide!
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
- "stove top"
|
|
- by trilobyte
|
|
|
|
this is entitled "stove top." minimalist version
|
|
|
|
put your chicken on the pan chicken on the pan
|
|
with some stove top stuffin'. stove top stuffing
|
|
runnin from the law with running from the law
|
|
your easy-bake oven. easy bake oven
|
|
i don't understand who who, what, where
|
|
could beat you like a muffin' beat up muffin
|
|
when all you're tryin' to do you do
|
|
is to spread a little lovin'. spread love.
|
|
|
|
my friends 'n me been tryin' we try hard
|
|
to get you out free to play
|
|
but our dice-throwin' skills monopoly
|
|
ain't what they used to be but we suck
|
|
so skedaddle over here so come here
|
|
and slop up some grease help us
|
|
cuz livin' ain't easy when we're dying
|
|
you're dealin' with POLICE. of death.
|
|
|
|
hey dj, cut the bass.
|
|
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
* (c) HoE publications. HoE #199 -- written by Various Artists -- 1/26/98 *
|