157 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
157 lines
5.9 KiB
Plaintext
______ ______ ______________
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\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
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| |________| | / \ | |____
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | ...Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Essays from my Childhood" | |
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| | By: Pip the Angry Youth | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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While cleaning out my drawers and folders from reports I did back in the
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3rd and 4th grade, I found all those old reports that I did for school. I
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thought you'd enjoy them immensely, so I typed them up. Get excited, you're
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now going to transported you back to the days of my youth...
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-\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\=\-
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katherine the great
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katherine the great was a very historic person. she lived in russia
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and did many historic things. she couldn't find a man who could satisfy
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her so she had sex with animals. goats, bulls, elephants and horses
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were among her favorites. she died while having wild passionate sex
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with a horse. the horse fell down on her and crushed her.
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the end
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alexander the great
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alexander the great was an army guy who ran greece in the olden days,
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when people rode horses. he liked guys more than girls, especially
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little boys. he had a wife, but he didn't love her as much as his other
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lovers. he nearly ruled the world because of how good he was in bed...
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the end
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stalin
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stalin made russia full of pinkos. my daddy tells me that, he doesn't
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like communists much. i couldn't find sex in books about him.
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the end
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ronald reagan
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reagan made reganomics. he was president for eight years. he was an
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actor before he was a president. he's so old he doesn't remember having
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sex.
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the end
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george washington
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he told everyone that he chopped down a cherry tree. he was the first
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president of the united states. he had wooden teeth. he had long white hair
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and a pony tail. he is on the dollar and the quarter. no one had sex
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when he was president, because it wasn't allowed.
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the end
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liberache
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he had sex all the time, with men. his boyfriend looked like a ken
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doll. he played the piano alot, but not as much as he had sex.
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the end
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julius caesar
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oh boy did he have sex! sex was his life (besides conquering most of
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western civilization). he had sex with whoever or whatever he could get
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his hands on! he should have died of a heart attack while having sex,
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that's how much sex he had. he never had time to get horny, because he
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was always having SEX. I look up to him, he is my idol.
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the end
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jimmy carter
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he was president in the disco era. disco fever swept the nation. saturday
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night fever had sexy dances and sexy people. jimmy carter wasn't in
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saturday night fever, but i bet he has seen it.
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the end
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thomas edison
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thomas edison was a great inventor. he invented things like the
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light bulb, record, and french tickler. he was a prude, because he was
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always in his lab making things for other people to have sex with... he
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wasn't much fun. though he did have a special room in the back where he
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took his 'bad' employees...
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the end
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martin van buren
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martin van buren was the 8th president of the united states. he did
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presidential things. he had sex with his secretary. they had sex all
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of the time. on the rugs, on the desk, everywhere. he was known as the
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sex president to his friends and family.
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the end
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leonard nemoy
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leonard nemoy was a great actor from the tv show star trek. he had
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pointy ears and was called a vulcan. he was smart, and never felt
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emotions. he never had sex because he didn't have feelings. but i bet
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the crew thought he was sexy in his sexy felt cloth clothing. after
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star trek, he has done tv shows about the unknown and tours the great
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community colleges across the country. i bet he had sex with those sexy
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college girls wearing sexy sweaters.
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the end
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emily dickinson
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emily dickinson never had sex. she just wrote poems all day like a
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pansy does. she sat up in her room with her genitals just wasting away
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while she could have been having sex all day. girls can get sex
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whenever they want it, but she never wanted it. my brother thinks that
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she's just a cold bitch because she never put out.
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the end
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Copyright (c) 1995 HoE Publications and Pip the Angry Youth. #86 -> 06/16/95
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All rights Reserved. This file is for educational purposes only.
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