284 lines
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Plaintext
284 lines
14 KiB
Plaintext
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\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | ...Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "There's Pain in There" | |
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| | By: Mogel | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The three of them were extremely tired. They laid on the bed and stared
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at the ceiling. Chris, Will, and Sarah pretended for a moment they they
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didn't have to get up the next morning for 9AM classes. They pretended they
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didn't have a million papers to write and books to read.
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The Violent Femmes were quietly playing in the background. Sarah sang
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along, "I was born to late, I was born too soon - but every time I look into
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that ugly moon, it reminds me of you."
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"Gordan Gano has PAIN!" shouted Will seemingly randomly, "His music is
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pure ANGST! There's pain in there, and I SHARE HIS PAIN!" Sarah giggled.
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It was a little inside joke of theirs. They mocked the Nine Inch Nails
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trendy cult that claimed to get such deep meaning out of the song 'I wanna
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fuck you like an Animal'. "Yeah, whatever..." Will had said in the past.
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He liked his Femmes. They were sarcastic, they were beyond the trendies and
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the 'rebel' anti-trendies. It was some level of maturity music. "Can the
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Violent Femmes become a religion?" he asked in his common pseudo-serious way
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that he always used. He breathed sarcasm, it was his life blood.
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"Would that mean you'd worship the band or the music or both?" asked
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Chris, continuing the stupid concept. Sometimes people just can't let a bad
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joke die. Probably because they fear awkward silences.
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"I dunno," said Will. "I think I meant the lyrics should be our
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philosophy of life."
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"You want us all to be weirdos that go killing our families and sing in
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really whiney voices?" asked Chris, again talking the whole thing to a
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pointless level.
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"Uhmm.. YEAH!" said Will, hoping to end the conversation.
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Out of nowhere, Sarah mumbled "If I was to subscribe to a religion - it
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would be the religion of common sense." As she said this, she rolled over to
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her other side on the bed and Chris began to stare at her butt. It reminded
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him of how horny he was.
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"Man... I really need to get laid." he said in a loud silly voice. They
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all began to laugh, when they heard a knock at the door. It was Chris's room
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so he got up and and opened it.
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FUCK. It was Jeff, the official college Christian activist. "Uhh.. hey
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there Jeff..." he said in a slightly patronizing way. Jeff was well dressed.
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He was a handsome guy with a nice, short hair cut. He worked hard in school.
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He planned to major in the oh-so exciting field of Packaging Science.
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"Chris, are you going to the Christian Fellowship meetings tomorrow? I
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think it would be important for you. We need to talk." he said very
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honestly.
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"I'm not sure. It depends on what kind of plans I've made. I'll try to
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make it." Chris said. Of course he was lying. All four people knew that
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Chris was an atheist and each reacted to it in their own way. In Jeff's
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case, he worried about Chris's future. He really wanted him to accept Jesus
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because Chris was his friend and he didn't want to see his friends go to hell
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and be on 'the wrong path'.
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"Okay, I really hope to see you there. I gotta run, see ya later."
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"Yep. See ya."
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Chris closed the door. "Fuck. I shouldn't have said that out loud."
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"Said what?" asked Sarah.
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"I said I wanted to get laid pretty loud. I'm sure he heard me. He's
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seen me talk about sex before. It's great, I'm losing a friend now." Chris
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said in a serious way.
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"HUH?? He does realize that people have sex I hope." said Will in his
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usual silly way.
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"Yeah, but he doesn't approve. He's lost all total respect for me." Chris
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whined again.
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"So?" asked Sarah, "Why do you care?"
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"He's my friend," snapped Chris defensively.
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"If he was your friend then he wouldn't have lost all his respect for you
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so easily." Will said.
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"He was the first person at this school that was nice to me. It's just
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who he is. He was a real friend and now I've lost him as one."
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"What the hell are you talking about? Friends are there for you no matter
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what. If you've lost him, then he wasn't your real friend. So, who cares."
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Sarah said firmly. Was he getting the message?
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"Please spare me your kindergarten Psychology. We both know that real
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life isn't like that."
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"Why not the fuck not?! It can be!" Sarah yelled.
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"In the real world, we all have a lot of superficial friends." Chris said
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confidently.
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"*YOU* may have a lot of superficial friends. Not me." Will commented.
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Chris felt like Will and Sarah were ganging up on him. He felt like the
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'victim' most of the time with those two.
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"Don't tell me you don't make friends with people that don't agree with
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the same major ideas as you!" said Chris. He was getting mad.
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"Those aren't *REAL* friends. Get it?" Will asked. He was getting louder
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too. The thin dorm-room walls lead to eavesdropping morons all the time. And
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yes, there WERE people listening. Fortunately none of the three knew that.
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"Okay, check this out. You're a Neo-Nazi that beats your wife and Molests
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children in secret. You're happy with who you are, but you don't tell your
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friends about it. One day the police pay you a visit and the entire world
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knows about it all. Everyone hates you. Your friends pretend to not know
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you. Are those REAL friends?"
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"Of course they are! I'd be a motherfuckin' Nazi! I'd deserve it."
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"GrRRrrRR. You don't get it. You would be happy with who you are, thus
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if you were happy that you were a Nazi, you would be PISSED as all hell that
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your friends wouldn't even talk to you. I'm not saying that the couldn't try
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to talk to you, and change you from being a Nazi - but if they CARED about
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you then they wouldn't disassociate themselves from you." Chris sensed that
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something in what Will was saying was right.
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"Don't you think that example is a little extreme?" whimpered Chris.
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"It doesn't matter. If those Christian cultees have lost all respect for
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you just from talking about sex then something is wrong. Don't you see that
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they have a little checklist of qualities for people they accept and don't
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accept?!" shouted Sarah. There was an awkward ten second silence. Chris was
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annoyed by the whole conversation, but it had begun and he had to win this.
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He hated looking stupid.
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"But, don't you think that my sex life is none of their business anyway?"
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Chris asked. Sarah liked talking about sex. It was eternally fun to see the
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different ideas and perception people saw on the topic.
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"If you want to talk about sex, then that shouldn't stop you. You
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shouldn't have to hide who you are from them. If you're a sexual being and
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you want to talk about it, then fuckin' do it." she replied, hoping his
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sorry-ass would finally get the message.
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"I really just would like to get along with them and not fight. That's
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all." Chris said again, with a honest voice. Sarah turned to look into his
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eyes with a great frustration. She was beautiful when she was mad, noted
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Chris. Will smiled to himself, think already in retro about the
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conversation.
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"Look," said Chris. "Here's a good example of my point. When I was
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twelve years old, this Jehovahs Witness woman came to my door. My brother
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was in the living room with me watching TV. She was about eighty years old.
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When she got to the door, my brother said 'Don't answer it! It's a nutty
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religious woman!' I just didn't get it. She was eighty years old, what
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could she do? So I let her into my house and we sat in my kitchen and she
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talked to me for a half-hour about her religion. I was an atheist even then,
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but I didn't need to argue religion with her. I was her 'friend'."
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"What was the point of telling us that?" asked Sarah.
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"Don't you see?" Chris asked, "I made that old woman feel good. Probably
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everyone on the block was a total prick to her. She's probably dead now, but
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she died knowing that there was that one little boy that was nice to her. I
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made her happy."
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"That's really pathetic." noted Will.
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"What you you have done?! Would you have hid from her like my brother."
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asked Chris in defense. Will was getting very intense. He couldn't believe
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that Chris wasn't getting it.
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"I wouldn't have done either. I would have opened the door and said 'No
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thanks. I'm not interested.' I would have been for real."
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"What did that do for her? She was 80 years old. Don't you see something
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noble in making her happy?"
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"Not at all. Look here, if I was in a more open mood, I *might* have
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invited the lady in, but I certainly wouldn't have just sat there. She was
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calling your beliefs SHIT. Don't you care about that? What you believe is
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what's important. I would have let that old woman in on what I believed. I
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would have *TALKED* to her. I wouldn't have sat there like a zombie and
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humored her. That's what's fucked up about the world today. People are
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afraid to get to the nitty gritty and talk." Will was getting hot. He
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walked over and opened the window.
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"FUCK ME FOR WANTING TO MAKE HER HAPPY!" yelled Chris.
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"You were not being real. It's the same thing with these Christian
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people, you're afraid to actually make them break a sweat and listen to what
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you have to say. You're ideas are just as important as theirs."
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"That's just it!" Chris shouted. "We have EQUAL ideas. I'm not going to
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go around pushing my thoughts onto others."
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"Isn't that what the cultees are doing?" asked Will.
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"Well, that's them and not me. I'm here in this world to make everyone
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happy and be a nice guy. Everyone's friend." Chris said, in a flowery poetic
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voice.
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"WHAT?!" said Sarah in shock. "Life isn't about 'making everyone happy'
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life is about progress. You're thinking in the short term. Don't you get
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it? Ultimately fighting against an idea you don't believe in will result in
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real happiness. A temporary self-suppression might humor the people and make
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them seem happier - but that's not _truly_ better for anyone."
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"I think making people happy here and now is what's the most important."
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"Even if it's against what you believe?! Please PLEASE don't tell me that
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you don't see anything wrong with supression." Will begged, even though he
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knew what Chris's answer would be.
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"I don't. Not if it made people happy." said Chris. He honestly believed
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that this was noble.
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"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" Will jumped up into standing position on the bed.
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"That is the most fucked thing I have ever heard in my life!" Will grabbed
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Chris by the shoulders, looked directly into his eyes, and shouted to him.
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"If I was at the trials of Nuremberg, I wouldn't want to see a Nazi leader
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cower in fear and lie. I would rather fucking see a Nazi stand up there,
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the proudest motherfucker alive, and say 'YES. I KILLED THOSE FUCKING DIRTY
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JEWS AND I'LL DO IT TILL MY DYING DAY!'"
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Will realized the power of what he was saying. Chris was almost
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dumbfounded, because he knew that Will was Jewish and he still had faith in
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what he was saying. Will continued, "At least then the asshole would really
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be standing up for what was in his heart. People would see it, and something
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would sythesize. We're not here to exist and collect dust. Something is
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moving in this world. Things are supposed to be happening. We're not here
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to pat each other on the pompous backsides and ignore our differences. We're
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here to grow."
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There was yet another moment of silence. It was like an emotional funeral
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for Chris. In his heart, he still thought it was okay to make people happy.
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"Making people happy is what matters." he thought to himself over and over
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again. He wanted to say it out loud, but he knew the two of them would use
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their 'twisted' logic and make him look dumb again.
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"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" was heard from room next door. "IT'S THREE O'CLOCK IN
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THE MORNING. GO TO SLEEP." They all knew that this conversation would have
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to be continued some day. They all had so much more to say.
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Will and Sarah said goodbye and left. Chris began to think about how he
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was going to go about asking out Sarah. He was falling in love with her. He
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fell asleep and dreamed about getting laid. He didn't realize that Will and
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Sarah were the best friends that he ever had until many years later.
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Sarah went back to her room. "What's the most disgusting thing about that
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whole conversation is that I know that there are millions of people that
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think like him. What we're saying makes so much sense, so why is this
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philosophy unique to only a handful of random people?" she thought to
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herself. She watched '_Talk Soup_' on _Entertainment Television_ and went to
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sleep.
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Will went back to his room, popped the Violent Femmes into his CD player,
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got on his computer, and sang along to _Add it Up_.
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| _____ Call Goat Blowers Anonymous for the LATEST HOE! _____ |
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| 6/ ^..^ (215) 750 - 0392 ^..^ \9 |
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| \_____(oo) This Issues Featured Support Board is: (oo)_____/ |
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| WW WW Fuckit, you should just worry about calling WW WW |
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| GBA, 'cause that board is where it's at. |
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| ...the kings of modern goofiness... |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1995 HoE Publications 'n Mogel. #72 -> 05/1/95
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All rights Reserved.
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