183 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
183 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
______ ______ ______________
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\ / \ / ____ \ ______|
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| |________| | / \ | |____
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| ________ | ( {} ) | _____)
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /_____________| | |
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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "The Gods Sent us for 'Shrooms!" | |
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| | By: Abigwar | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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The rain pounded down as though it was endless. The earth rattled with
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the cracking whips of mighty thunder. A wicked blue and black line
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suddenly appeared diagonally in the sky. It spread open, and 5 warriors
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filed out.
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The Five men sloshed through the wet brush, looking for the enemy.
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Looking for a battle. Looking for the Mega-shroom-of-glory. Armed with
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large steal shields, in five different shapes, with five different crests
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upon them. Armed with swords so sharp they could slash through time.
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They cut their way thru the dense weeds, With a seven inch wombat
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leading the way. Then, after hours of walking with the wombat, and an
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unimaginable amount before they hooked up with Wommie-Duh-Wombat, they
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fell to their muddy knees. Exhausted. Burnt. Tired. Beat. One of them
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struggled for air. Another sat with his prickly chin resting on his knees,
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But his knees were quivering so bad his whole head bobbed up and down.
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The rest just bummed around the small opening.
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One of the group, Pulled a mushroom from his bag. He downed it quickly,
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as though trying to avoid tasting the morsel. After a little while, he
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started to talk to the wombat. The wombat who previously asked few
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questions now asked many.
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"Where, uh, When did you come from?" The little ball of fur asked.
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"We come from the mighty countries of then north. We are the vikings,
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from five different families, each represented by the crests on our
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swords and shields." He replied.
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The other four people looked at him, not in surprise that he was talking
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to a wombat. But in confusion as they tried to understand what he was
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saying. The wombat spoke english, however the man, before today, did not
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know a word of it. And this was the first the other four, not to mention
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the communicator, had ever heard anything like it.
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"How did you get here?" Wommie asked.
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"The gods have forged our magical swords, and with them, we can cut
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through time and do their bidding. In return for our weapons, we must
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pay off the debt by doing missions for them."
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"So what is your mission now?" The all around nosey marsupial asked.
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"We have come to find Magic Mushrooms. In Asgard, Home of the Gods, the
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'shrooms grow plentiful, However, they do not grow quickly enough to
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supply all the warriors with, and the twilight of the end is coming
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quickly. We need more, so the gods sent us to the near (but so far)
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future, where we hope to find a larger supply."
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"Oh, So that's what you need me for? To guide you to Shroomdom aye?, Well
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I can't do that. Their are no quality 'shrooms around here in Australia,
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but i will help you. Just you wait and see. I'll help you good. I will!"
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Boasted the Australian animal that is closely related to kangaroos!
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"So Be It" Answered one of the others who had just downed a shroom.
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And of course, another had just learned the strange, erie language, so
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all confused looks turned to him! Blood showed in his face. After a long
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rest they decided to continue their quest. The pushed their way up the
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muddy hill that they rested at the base of. Like before cutting the weeds
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above them, they made their way single file.
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At the top of the hill, there was a clearing, bigger than the one below.
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9 stones formed a ring in the middle of it. A big stone that resembled a
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alter, had Nordic Runes carved into it. This is the place the gods told
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them to find, when they were ready to transport.
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The little wombat took a piece of paper out of its pouch. The paper had
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some strange writing on it. Huddled together, the 5 men started reading
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the note out loud, in unison. With a magical flash, and a green puff of
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smoke, They found them selves in a place, that looked a lot like where they
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just where, you know, with the 9 stones and all. But the things around them
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had changed. They where no longer on a hill, they were now in a valley.
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[Foot Note #1: Ying-Yang, Hill-Valley. Its a esoteric thing i suppose!]
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Suddenly many naked women with guns had them surrounded. They spoke no
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language that any of the small party knew. And they didn't want to waste
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their magic shrooms just yet. The women talked rather dominantly, but
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the party knew nothing of what they wanted. They led them to a small
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village. The village had huge walls. Maybe 120' high. About the size of
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a medium train tressel. Before entering, they disarmed the men. Not like
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the men cared, because they figured they could easily get them back, these
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where just little women. Also, they thought it was just them being polite.
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[Footnote #2: Like taking a coat? :>]
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When one of the ladies carried out shackler, the men started to realize
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just how unfriendly these ladies were. The tried to rebel, Surely these
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women would be no match for these giant neanderthals, However, another
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girl gave a demonstration of how the guns worked, and shot one of the party
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in the chest. He was a big man, and died, tied down in bed only a few days
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later. But as for the others, they where chained up, and forced into a
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large hut. The wombat was set free to frolic in the village.
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One guard was posted outside of the door. Once a day, they where fed
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left over scrapes from lunch and breakfast. Inside their hut where nine
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rooms. A large one in the middle, And 8 others in a octagon formation.
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Each of the eight rooms were small. 4 of the rooms were unoccupied and the
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swing-down locking cage bars (tm) where not closed. The other four rooms
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had one member of the party each.
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Ever little while a woman would pay off the guard, and have sex with the
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man or men of her choice. Including the guard, who paid another one to
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guard.
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After a week or so of the same routine, The wombat snuck in as the bribed
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guard had opened the door and cage for one of the 'regular visitors'. As
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the women unchained one of the men, wommie bit her on the leg and the man
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knocked her over. The wombat pushed the gun over to the man. The man took
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the keys, and opened the now re-shut bars. He let out the others, and the
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wombat popped a few shrooms so he could communicate.
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The shrooms the Warriors had where Fly Allegoric. Purplish in color, and
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some what large, However, what the wombat had were small, and off-white.
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Liberty Caps, Which are often considered more powerful.
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The wombat spoke: "I have found shrooms with in this village. I can
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help you complete your mission now! Your weapons are all in a trap door
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in the middle of this large room."
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One man pulled on a large ring, and with a "Shhhh-pop" a hole was
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revealed. He climbed down the ladder, and passed up the weapons. Strangely
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all the crests on the shields had been changed to shrooms. And not the
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Liberty Caps either. They where the colorful Fly Allegoric which grew back
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home. And to their knowledge, the women had never seen the purple-red
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shrooms before. " A sign from the gods! " one warrior exclaimed.
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Then, Large armor suits which were never seen before were passed up. They
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bared the cross of the almighty wombats, and the picture of the glorious
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shroom. The instinctively put them on, and walked out after downing a bunch
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of shrooms Wommie had brought them.
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The wombat, who also had a wombat shaped suit on led them through the
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village, as many shots rang out. The men swung their swords, hammers and
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maces in rage, but no girls would get close enough for it to have any
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effect. They weren't to dumb, and they knew the would stand no chance.
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They came to a large wall, maybe 100'. Shorter than the main wall. There
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was a huge steel gate blocking the only entrance into the huge room. The
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space between the bars was only as big as a wombat. The warriors put
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their mighty weapons together and beat the shit (to put it bluntly) out
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of the wall around the gate.
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The wall crumbled, and the gate fell out. The men put one shield in each
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corner of the 'shroom filled room, with the shroom facing up. Then, they
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followed the small trail into the middle of the room, where a clearing
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had been cut. A stair way led up to a stock room full of harvested
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mushrooms.
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The gathered together, and read from the note the wombat gave them
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earlier. With a large flash, and a yellow (Not green) puff of smoke,
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They became conscious again. They walked out the door, and found them
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and the building in Valhalla, where they truly earned they throne, and
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where they are today.
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| M0G3|_'Z Land.....2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
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| h4CkEr KrAKd0\x/n.2159451907 |H )\@_@/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
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| t.e.k.a.t.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| SMASHTHEDISCOS!....8003339291 |
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| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
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| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
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| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications & Abigwar 042 --> 1/15/95
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All rights aRe /<-h00L az S|-|33T!
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