202 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
202 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
Hey there are ______ ______ ______________ 1-800-WoM-BaTs!
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starving wombats| | | | \ abigwar was | Call now, Before
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in Austrila call \ / \ / ____ \ here ______| it's too late.
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now and donate 3 | |________| | / \ | |____ Wombats are very
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golden dunkets! | ________ | ( {} ) | _____) endangered dammit!
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/~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | | \____/ | |______ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
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| |~~~~~~~ / \ / \ / and here | ~~~~~~~~~| |
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| | |______| |______| /____too______| | |
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| | Hogs of Entropy Text Files Present... | |
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| | "Poetic Terrorist 2" | |
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| | "The Return of our hero in two new action packed stories!" | |
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| | By: Abigwar [BGR] | |
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| | 11/20/94 | |
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\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /mG
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "Tie-Die Yard, And the Wombat of power!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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mG
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It was a dreary night, the rain that tinkled down, it seemed endless.
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A little breeze could be heard whistling through the trees, and close in the
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nights dark distance, Xavier heard what sounded to be the cry's of a hurt
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dog. It was quite strange, hearing dogs out side the mayor's house...
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Especially hurt ones, he thought. Then it hit him. Ever since those two
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times the terrorist had struck, the mayor had her security raised. They
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must have hired dogs in the past last few days.
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Xavier took his gun belt off of the small rack that was designed for
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keys that said "A hanging key, is not a lost key!" on it. He straped his
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weapon around his waist and reached for his hat which was also hanging on
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the suprisingly strong little rack. Opening the guard house door, he stepped
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into the drizzle, and locked the door behind him.
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After a while of searching through the thick fog and rain
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combination with his flashlight (whose batteries were dying to make matters
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worse), he managed to find the dog. It was lying in a puddle of mud, but it
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was no longer squealing, as though it was dead. Xavier checked to see if the
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greasy dog was breathing, and found not only the dog was alive, but there
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was a dart sticking out of the German sheperd's side.
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Like a true hero, Xavier picked up the slippery, large dog and
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carried it to the nearest guard house where a part time veterinarian was
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working half shifts as a security guard.
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Little did they know that, as the dog was being rescued, they left a
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wide open breach in security. Out came a masked man, instantly reconized as
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being our hero from the last of this mini-series, the Poetic Terrorist. To
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make this story a little easier for the poor, exhausted author (A-BuG-WaR),
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to write, We have decided to give the /<h00l dude a name, Tome Jour.
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Remember it's French so the J is silent.
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Tome carefully and rather quickly scaled the moss covered slippery
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wet wall. Once at the top, he twisted in all funny directions to get around
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the electric barbed wire fence on top of the old wall.
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He darted across the front lawn after jumping off the wall and
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landing in the mud. He made it to the front of the house, successfuly
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avoiding the paranoid spotlight opereator's beam.
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He took a few cans of acrylic paint out of his black duffle bag. He
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painted the whole front door with pink paint. Then used a silent blow dryer
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operating off a battery pack to dry the paint! (Made specificly for
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terrorists you know) Next he painted a burgendy diagnol stripe down the
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length of the door. Bright florecent green pokadots finished the
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masterpeice.
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Next he gathered all the paint cans and ran out to the middle of
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the yard. He set up the paint cans in a circle, with a can of bleach in the
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middle. Next he took a rather large block of Plastique in the form of a
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shaped charge pointed upword and outword in a 45 degree angled radias in
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all directions. He rapidly dug a hole with his collapsable army spade from
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WWII and placed the bomb level to the ground.
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He raranged the circle again, but this time around the bomb, on top
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of the centred bomb he placed the bleach can. He opened the lids with a
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knife, as fast as he could, and pressed the little red button. A green
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light started to flash, but was repressed by the bleach can.
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All of a sudden as he started to stand up, the spot light came on
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again...the spoltlight operator must have been done changing shifts. The
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light moved around the field and then it spotted Tome. Tome ran towards the
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wall as dogs came running from his right, followed by two men.
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From the left came a poor defenseless wombat which had escaped from
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the local zoo. The wombat jumped into Tome's duffle bag which he carelessly
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left wide open. He swung the bag over his shoulder, and made a leep at the
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wall.
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He started to climb, but slipped. He fell to the ground. The wombat
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made a squeel as it hit the ground next to Tome! The dogs were getting
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closer. Tome reached for a little black remote control to a remote controled
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car. He pressed the on switch, and a blue light turned on. He pushed the
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lever in the forward direction and covered his head.
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A large explosion echoed through the dense, wet air. Paint was
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splashed in all directions, forming a tie-dye pattern for about 50 feet in
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all directions. See the Gif included if you do not get the idea.
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The dogs and the guard that were in persuit became stunned temporily.
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The wombat then squaked and handed Tome Jour a red and black pill, that
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said "Don't eat me!". Confused, Tome chewed and swollowed the pill.
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Suddenly, Tome shrunk to about 6 inches tall, and found a hole that he
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could manage to strugle through.
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Once on the other side of the wall, the wombat handed him another
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pill, and a white sheet, with a picture of a wombat on it, that said "Do
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not put me under your tounge, don't save me for later." Tome took the pill
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and placed the white sheet in a plastic bag, and put it into his jacket
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pocket.
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He started the long run home, through the now pouring rain. With his
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new pet wombat hanging at his side. The next morning, Tome, sat watching the
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12pm News on chanel 59 like usual. A helicopter buzzed around the mansion
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showing pictures of the mayors yard.
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It looked like This: (see YARD.GiF)
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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_______________________________/\_________________________________
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/ _____________________________/\_______________________________ \
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| | "The Wombat's /<-/~ad idea!" | |
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| |_____________________________/\_______________________________| |
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\_______________________________/\_________________________________/
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mG
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It was the day after, the police were one step away from catching
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the "tye-dye vandalist" as the media has named it. Wheather or not they
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really were on to Tome was another story. The wombat suggested that they
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were only trying to get him paranoid so he would turn himself in.
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"'I don't have a clue how the vandal got in! I was keeping a watch
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the whole time. No one ever came through my area last night.'
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...Said Xavier, the watchmen who was on guard near where the artwork was.
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Well, you saw it here first folks, Channel 59 news... Where everything
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is bullshit, and the media tells you lies. Have a nice day..."
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There was another flash of lightning, and the thunder rang out.
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"...From the Channel 59 weather forcast station, Its a lovely day. Absolutly
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NO chance of rain."
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Damn media, When will they get something straight. Tome got out the bag
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wommy had given him last night. He pulled out the wombat tabs, and ripped
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them in half. He gave half to the wombat who stuck them under his tounge.
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Tome did the same. After about 45 minutes, Wommie turned to Tome and said,
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"Lets go on a TRIP."
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After dodging the flying blue elephant, Tome decided that they
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should go to Austrailia, and look for wommy's family. Wommie got all
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depressed, until a tree fell out side the window, and wommie saw it out of
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the cornor of his eye. He jumped to his four feet, and ran to the window as
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fast as his little paws would carry him. "Did ya see that!" he asked
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excitedly! The trails on the tree said we need to go to Africa.
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Tome pulled out his wallet and found 3 french fries. Using
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imagination power, he turned them into 1 1/2 airplane tickets. The half was
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for a wombat. The airplane company figured that since it is not a human, the
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ticket should be half price. But since the ticket is half price, it is only
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half a ticket.
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As they when past the drug dog, he barked alot. Tome said it was
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just because of wommie, and they let him pass.
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[To be continued...]
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------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Skinheads are the best, bollocks to the rest!
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Abigwar
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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| Mogel-Land........2157323413 /I'm a PiG\ Paranoia Subnormal.2153395831 |
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| Hacker Crackdown..2159451907 |H )\+_+/( P| Stellar Nights.....6108969140 |
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| T.E.K.A.T.........9088132738 |o ( (o) ) i| BITEMYWOMBAT!......OUCHSToPIT |
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| I Forget..........6105448001 |G <_O_> G| the NEXT generation |
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| /<RaD-/<-/< House.8103480421 |s BuUuRP! s| of stoopid... |
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| The Complex.......4107205305 \I'm a PiG/ |
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|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=|=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=|
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Copyright (c) 1994 HoE Publications and Abigwar. #30 --> 11/27/94
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All rights nuked by devil dogs.
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