412 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
412 lines
18 KiB
Plaintext
Oh my GawD! ***** FULLY FUNCTIONAL TRANNIES! ***** More from GwaD!
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The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Incorporated
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Brings YOU 20 Brand New Text Files for 2001!
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(Issues 80-99 of GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime)
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-=< NewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdSNewGwDsnEWgWdS >=-
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-=< GwD News, Issue #14 >=-
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gwd80.txt - The Significance of 05-25-00 (by Kilroy),
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gwd81.txt - mute. (by Kp Neato Dee),
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gwd82.txt - Going Postal (by Franken Gibe),
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gwd83.txt - A Semester in Russia, Part 3 (by Yancey Slide),
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gwd84.txt - Medical Applications of Selective
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Laser Sintering (SLS) (by Otis),
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gwd85.txt - My Poetry & Why I Hate Poetry (by Grandmaster Ratte'),
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gwd86.txt - Chach! (by Oscar the Pornographer),
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gwd87.txt - Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for
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Congressional Term Limits (by Otis),
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gwd88.txt - The Drug Project (by www.thedrugproject.org),
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gwd89.txt - When Not Working (by Kp Neato Dee),
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gwd90.txt - Am I Old School Yet? (by Jaffo),
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gwd91.txt - Fuckin' HOEs (by Lobo Licious),
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gwd92.txt - Language Acquisition: Philosophical
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Variations on a Theme by Steven
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Pinker (by Bob the Master of the
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World),
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gwd93.txt - OPEN THEM EYES! (by Kp Neato Dee),
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gwd94.txt - Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's
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Argument in "Self-Regarding Suicide" (by Otis),
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gwd95.txt - Ubermensch and Raskolnikov (by Bob the Master of the
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World),
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gwd96.txt - A Look at Hardin's Attacks On
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Contemporary Theories of Color (by Otis),
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gwd97.txt - Dreams (by G. Ratte' & F. Gibe),
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gwd98.txt - Sickness (by Some Sick Bastard),
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AND....
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gwd99.txt - ICC for You and Me: A Colorful
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Children's Primer for the Statutes,
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Progress, and Prospects of the
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International Criminal Court (by Yancey Slide).
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-+- GREEN is GOOD. -+-
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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R E L E A S E N O T E S
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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WORD TO YOUR MOMS.
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Not much going on this time, G. Just some files for your reading pleasure.
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These files are being released on 01-03-01, which is cool cuz it adds to five.
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Heh.
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Some of these files are by Grandmaster Ratte' and Franken Gibe of the cDc.
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This, of course, is because we are better than you and we rub elbows with the
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elite of the elite.
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So, print the files out and read them in the can.
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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Summaries of New Issues
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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"The Significance of 05-25-00"
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= GwD80 =
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Kilroy discusses the significa-
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nce of 05-25-00, the date of
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the last GwD release, and
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quite possibly, the most sig-
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nificant day ever. Rock balls.
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-----
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"mute."
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= GwD81 =
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Lubbock BBS legend Kp Neato Dee
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makes his first contribution to
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GwD. This file is so fucking
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rad, I'll bet you $0.55 cents
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that it'll make you all hot and
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bothered, you fucking sluts.
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-----
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"Going Postal"
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= GwD82 =
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Another entry from Franken Gibe
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he who is like unto God. cDc-
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schmee-dee-see, his Gibeness is
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at it again. Holy shit, this
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file makes me want to go out &
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pound shots of bourbon while
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snorting cocaine until my heart
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explodes! Gibe for God in '01!
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-----
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"A Semester in Russia, Part 3"
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= GwD83 =
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Yancey Slide recently spent a
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semester in St. Petersburg,
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Russia. Here is his story from
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his own point of view (such a
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novel concept). An interesting
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look at life in the former
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communist country that is now
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struggling to find its true
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calling (somewhat like GwD).
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Of course, passages relating to
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GwD Covert Ops in this country
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that is now "our friend" have
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been removed. You will read
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this, and you will like it,
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or Lenin's styrofoam corpse
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will kill you. Part 4 is on
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its way, soon...maybe.
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-----
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"Medical Applications of Selective Laser Sintering (SLS)"
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= GwD84 =
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Otis takes a break from alcohol
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(see gwd68.txt) to discuss the
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medical applications of a spec-
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ific rapid prototyping process.
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It's about making bones, man...
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BONES. You made your bones,
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got him at a deli. Congrats.
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-----
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"My Poetry & Why I Hate Poetry"
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= GwD85 =
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First Gibe, now Grandmaster
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Ratte'? Holy fuck, those GwD
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boys might actually have some-
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thing if these telecom legends
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are writing for them. Read
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this or die, CHACH.
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-----
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"Chach!"
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= GwD86 =
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Oscar the Pornographer, a new
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dr00g, finally defines "chach"
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for all of you chach-ified
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chaches out there in Chach-Land
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Chach.
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-----
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"Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for Congressional Term Limits"
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= GwD87 =
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Otis has been working hard
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since he got back on the wagon.
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Here's his take on the ongoing
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"problem" of Congressional term
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limits. Of course, "Congress"
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will only matter for a few more
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years, because GwD will soon
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assume control of this pitiful
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planet. Be prepared to lick
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our boots, Earth-Scum!
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-----
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"The Drug Project"
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= GwD88 =
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Like, drugs should be legalized
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and stuff, cuz drug crimes are
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victimless. Yeah, man. Did
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you see the tracers on that
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Death Star?
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-----
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"When Not Working"
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= GwD89 =
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Kp Neato Dee's next entry, a
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lovely discourse about being
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unemployed. Or something like
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that. Beautiful, flowery lang
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-uage. This file rocks balls.
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You will read it, and then you
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will sell all of your belongi-
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ngs and send the $cash$ to GwD
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(P.O. Box listed below) and
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then you will move to our com-
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pound in Wyoming and prepare
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for the End Times.
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-----
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"Am I Old School Yet?"
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= GwD90 =
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Net-Legend Jaffo endorses GwD
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as the next big thing in the
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textfile scene. What textfile
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scene, you ask? Fuck you.
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-----
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"Fuckin' HOEs"
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= GwD91 =
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Lobo Licious gives an emotional
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send-off to the Hogz of Entropy
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a publication ALMOST as lame as
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GwD. Read it, live it, love it.
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-----
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"Language Acquisition"
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= GwD92 =
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Bob relates a tale of language
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acquistion. Duh. Read the tit
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-le, jackass.
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-----
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"OPEN THEM EYES!"
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= GwD93 =
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Another one by Kp Neato Dee!
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This guy never quits. OHMANOH,
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this file is even *cooler* than
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the other two by him in this
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release. I mean, you will
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seriously SHIT YOUR PANTS when
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you read it. For the love of
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God, man, READ THIS FILE. Print
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it out! Make love to the print
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-outs! Pour syrup all over
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your body and hire midgets to
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lick it off! You goddamn sluts!
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-----
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"Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's Argument in 'Self-Regarding Suicide'"
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= GwD94 =
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Otis is back on the scene with
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this remarkable treatment of a
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topic that has perplexed us for
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centuries. In the words of the
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Bloodhound Gang, "Life's short
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and hard, like a body-building
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elf, so save the planet and
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kill yourself." Okay, fine,
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that quote isn't relevant.
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Read the file anyway, chach.
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-----
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"Ubermensch and Raskolnikov"
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= GwD95 =
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An interesting discussion of
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whether or not the principal
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character of _Crime and aPunish-
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ment_ (one of the best books
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ever written), is actually one
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of Nietzsche's overmen. You
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will read this file, or you
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will be destroyed.
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-----
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"A Look at Hardin's Attacks on Contemporary Theories of Color"
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= GwD96 =
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Since we're all about *GREEN*
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'round these parts, we decided
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that you should have to read an
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exciting essay about colors.
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Hey, it's all part of your
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brain-washing. That Otis sure
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is covering a wide range of
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topics in this release, isn't
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he? That's because he's smart-
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er than you.
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-----
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"Dreams"
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= GwD97 =
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cDc founders,Grandmaster Ratte'
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and Franken Gibe, are now exclu
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-sively contracted to GwD. Uhh,
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did we say exclusively? We sure
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didn't mean that shit, jackass.
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Actually, these guys were just
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nice enough to let us use some
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of there stuff for this, a very
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special GwD file. Slut.
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-----
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"Sickness"
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= GwD98 =
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The title says it all. This is
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the kind of "funny" tale that
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you laugh at, and then you feel
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all dirty for laughing. Of
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course, you *ARE* dirty, so
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that feeling is nothing new.
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-----
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"ICC for You and Me"
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= GwD99 =
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Yancey Slide relates to you,
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the lame-ass reader, lots and
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lots of information about the
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proposed International Criminal
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Court. I suggest you read it
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since some day you will stand
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trial before the court for
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crimes against humanity or oth-
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er members of the animal king-
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dom, you sick-o.
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-----
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-*- No Added Fillers. Just 100% Cheese for 100% Great Taste. -*-
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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What's going on in Grenedom?
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***** ***** ***** ***** *****
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-> HEADLINES <-
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GwD is the coolest entity on the planet.
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And *YOU* are a chach-a-rific *SLUT*.
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The only real news this time is that we're releasing 20 files. What more do you
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sons of bitches want?
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PUSSY SESSION.
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-> OTHER NEWS <-
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Umm, also, the website now works. And GwDwarez was added, as was the page about
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our "Family of Companies." Of course, "now works" is a relative term. The site
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may not actually work for the first few hours (maybe even a whole day) after
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this news file is sent out in e-mail.
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That's about it, sluts. If you would get off your asses and do something, this
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section wouldn't be so sparse. Kids these days, fah!
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-> SUBMISSION INFORMATION <-
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If you have ANYTHING to submit to GwD (artwork, text, outlandish claims, etc.),
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DO NOT HESITATE to send it our way. "submit@GREENY.org" is there for you, baby.
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Work must be 100% original and it must be understood that once submitted,
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articles/artwork/photographs become the property of GwD, Inc. (unless they have
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been previously published elsewhere) and we can use them however we see fit,
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even if it's merely to make fun of them (and you).
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-> LETTERS TO THE EDITOR <-
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[All spelling/grammar errors are those of the author(s) and are not errors on
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the part of GwD, cuz, well, we're perfect. Yeah.]
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-----
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From: Harris40tude@aol.com
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Date: Wed, 27 Sep 2000 00:15:53 EDT
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Subject: Sperm donor criteria
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To: gwd@greeny.org
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How can I donate sperm samples so as to help an infertile couple bring into
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fruition the gift and miracle of life? Where might I look to find places in
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my area (about ten miles east of Philadelphia) to participate?
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Matthew
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-----
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From: "third try"<travis@thirdtry.com>
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Date: Mon, 23 Oct 2000 06:35:23
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To:editor@greeny.org
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Subject: Hey, check out this band!
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Hi, we are third try. I guess you could call us pop-punk. Anyways, we are
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writing you because we heard that you like bands like us, and we wanted you to
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visit our website: http://www.thirdtry.com. On thirdtry.com you can find FREE
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MP3s of our music, so you can see for yourself how great we really are. Thank
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you for your time.
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Sincerely Yours,
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third try
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PS: Also, while you are there, check out how you can help us win the Ernie Ball
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battle of the bands and win a cool purple glitter guitar!
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[Purple is not cool.]
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-----
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From: Kilroy <kilroy@greeny.org>
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Subject: Heya -
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To: gwd@greeny.org
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Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2000 10:34:15 -0600 (MDT)
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just found this in my research...
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http://www.asdf.com/asdfgreen.html
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-kilroy
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-----
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~~~~~
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-*- Keep Texas Beautiful -*-
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CONTACT:
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The GREENY world Domination Task Force, Inc.
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http://www.GREENY.org/
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Pubs - http://gwd.mit.edu/ - Pubs
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ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
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gwd@GREENY.org
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P.O. Box 16038 - Lubbock, Texas - 79490
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- for moral, ethical, spiritual, and financial guidance -
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* Lusty busty teens - always live and ready! *
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The GwD Task Force, Inc. - Bringing YOU All the Best in Absolute Crap Since 1993
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by Lobo Licious ***** copyright (c) MM GwD, Inc. ***** release date = 01-03-01
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-*- GwD - "God, we're Dorks." - GwD -*- GwDN14
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