134 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
134 lines
7.7 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
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Presents:
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"the mogtronix instant inside-joke maker 2000"
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by mogel
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(i'm a rebel! lower case forever!)
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"mommie!@@!1" you cry out loud into the night as you awake from yet
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another one of those nightmares with large hairy men that smell like taco
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salads in their arm pits. those dreams are getting more realistic by the
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day, aren't they? i think it's time to get professional help. mogel help.
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inside jokes. the whole idea of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
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a bunch of people that are in some group have a joke and they're the only
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ones that get it. i wonder why people can't make universal humor more
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often. something like pure wit, that transcends petty goofiness.
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what the hell am I talking about? someone slap me next time I babble
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like that. the truth is that making special groups and cliques is wonderful
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and very human. it's great to leave people out! it makes my butt cheeks
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tingle at the very thought of making someone feel like an outsider. that's
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why i've put inside jokes down to a study.
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check it out, you wanna be the stud at parties don't you?! you want
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all the girlies (with big titties!) to come talk to you right. but you
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don't have muscles, a personality, looks, or money. what the hell are you
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to do? you have nothing to offer anyone. you'll make no friends except
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that retard kid down the street that no one talks to because he beats
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himself with tree branches and laughs for hours on ends at the site of any
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passing blue car. you'll die a 60-year-old virgin. is that a life?! is
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that a motherfucking life!? no, it is not a motherfucking life! so, i ask
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again in a fit of redundancy, what are you to do?!
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enter the 'inside joke'. now you have a chance to tango with the big
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boys. when someone walks up to you all you gotta do is say the most goofy,
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rude, and asinine thing that comes to your minds.
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example:
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girlie -> hello. could you move out of the way so I can use the bathroom?
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you -> don't you wanna see my 'corpus cavernosum'?
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girlie -> oh, only if you wanna put it in my 'posterior commissure'!
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see what i mean? here's a good rule to follow: you play stupid -
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others will follow. it's as simple as that. on deeper analysis you'll see
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that the inside joke is actually a tool to make everyone have something to
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talk about, thus there won't be awkward silences that pierce the night like
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the rage of a cow being milked.
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at this point i'm one hundred percent sure that all of you are saying
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to yourselves "this whole thing is all very interesting, eccentric, and
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boring at the same time mogel. good job. but how can I make my _own_
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inside jokes?!"
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phear no more. making inside jokes are easy. they are invented all
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the time. there are two more common types:
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type 1 - 'i said something oh-so funny! let's totally ruin it's humor!'
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this is the type of inside joke where someone has cracked a joke
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while a group of you are hanging out. for example, if a group of guys
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were sitting at a 2600 meeting and one of them said "let's make a new
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type of box for phreakers - the shoe box!" and the other laughed lots
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and replied "i'd rather make the sand box."
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bingo, following this "conversation" that me and my pal frannie had
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once, you see the invention of an inside joke. later, we proceeded to say
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"wow! let's hack it!" whenever we came across any form of electronics or
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machinery anywhere. basically the idea behind this type of inside joke is
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to take something funny that was said in a conversation and relay it in all
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it's various varieties over and over again, making the people that know the
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joke laugh. this idea is so easy it's a wonder that there's so many losers
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that don't get it. just say goofy stuff with a little humor, and if people
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laugh go into overkill mode and say the joke until their ears bleed at that
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crucial 'this is the right time to say it' time. this type of joke often
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dies after a while, but fortunately, it's so easy to create these types of
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inside jokes there's no chance of any real conversation with depth or
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meaning. yes!@$#!1
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type 2 - 'here's something totally random - stick with it forever!'
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this is the most interesting type of joke because it makes people
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laugh, but (by great irony) it's simply not funny. amazing but true.
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i'm told that dead cheese is a master of this fatal special
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super-natural ability. well, phear me magical cheese boy - i'm giving
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away the secret plans!
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this type of inside joke is created by letting your mind sit free and
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wander. after you wander you drink a sprite and watch some T.V.
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after you watch some t.v. and you masturbate to re-runs of _three's
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company_, your mind comes up with a completely and totally random idea.
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random meaning something with that oh-so insignificant quality. it's
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best when it's something that sounds awkward and is a bit silly.
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spam. turnip. rubber wallaby. rutabaga. chumpy galoshes. maple
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syrup. toaster hacker. blue severed hamster head. rutabaga.
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turtle. paper clip. rudyard kipling.
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getting the idea? find that one object and nail the world with it
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'til they get so sick of you they want to molest you like the psychotic
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kiddie porn downloading ansi-artist you *are*. just accept it and move on
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with your life. i know for a fact that abigwar will carry his 'wombat'
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thing to his grave. cdc has latched on to the awkwardness of the common
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cow. just use it or lose it. that's what I say.
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at any rate, i hope this article served as a good introduction into
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the exciting and profitable career of inside-jokes. go outside right now
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and show off your new talents. that's right! go! run into the woods naked
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tell everyone. they'll not only approve - it'll be an (*ding!*) inside
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joke. don't go to the bathroom for three weeks and then pee the full load
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on your grandma. she'll laugh for days. the possibilities are infinite.
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have fun my children, and remember:
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it's not what you say - it's how you say it!
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-----------------------------<GwD Command Centers>------------------------------
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Chaos (806)###-#### | PCI (806)794-1438
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GridPoint Durant (405)920-1347 | The Sprawl (806)797-0820
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Federation Slayers' (806)885-2954 | Tacoland (215)750-0392
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The Snake's Den (806)793-3779 | The Lagoon (203)638-3712
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The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948 | Altered Reality (203)925-8349
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Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259 | Cell Block 4 (806)612-8694
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Pirate's Cove (806)795-4926 | Static Line (806)747-0802
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PCI (806)794-1438 |
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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ftp =-= etext.archive.umich.edu /pub/Zines/Greeny
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ftp.fc.net /pub/deadkat/misc/GWD
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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/---------------\
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copyright (c) 1995 by Mogel of GwD, Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
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GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo : GwD :
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All rights reserved \---------------/
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