271 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
271 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
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Presents:
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"The Yuletide Caper"
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also titled
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"The Twelve Days of December"
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also titled
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"And A Partridge In A Pear Tree"
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 14
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Dearest John,
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I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a
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partridge in a pear tree. What a delightfully thoughful gift!
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I couldn't have been more surprised.
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With deepest love and affection,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 15
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Dearest John,
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Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just
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imagine, two turtle doves! I'm just delighted at your very
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thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.
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All my love,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 16
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Dear John,
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Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really must
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protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three french
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hens! They are just darling, but I must insist, you've been
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too kind.
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Love,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 17
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Dear John,
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Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now
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really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is
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enough? You're being too romantic.
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Affectionately,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 18
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Dearest John,
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What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden
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rings--one for every finger! You're just impossible, but I
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love it. Frankly, all those squawking birds were getting on
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my nerves.
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All my love,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 19
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Dear John,
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When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a
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laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds, huh?
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Those geese are huge! Where will I ever keep them? The
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neighbirs are complaining and I can't sleep through the
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racket.
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Please stop.
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Cordially,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 20
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John,
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What's with you and those fucking birds?? 7 swans a
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swimming! What kind of crappy joke is this? There's bird
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shit all over the house and they never stop with the
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racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck;
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it's not funny. SO stop with those fucking birds.
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Sincerely yours,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 21
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OK Buster,
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I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I
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going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough
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with all these birds and 8 maids a milking, but they
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had to bring those ridiculous cows!! There is shit
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all over the lawn, and I can't move in my own house.
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Just lay off me, smartass.
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 22
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Hey Shithead,
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What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's
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9 pipers piping--and Hells Bells, do they play!!
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They have never stopped chasing those maids since they
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got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset
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and they are stepping all over the screeching birds.
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What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a
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petition to evict me.
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You'll get yours,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 23
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Your Rotten Sonofabitch,
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Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why
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I even call those sluts ladies. They've been balling
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those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep
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and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of
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shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoened me
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to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.
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I'm siccing the police on you.
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One who means it,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Miss Abigail Forthrightly
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Goody Two Street
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Okefenokee, Missouri
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December 24
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Listen Asshole,
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What's with the 11 lords a leaping on those maids
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and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again.
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Those pipers have run through the maids, and have been
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committing sodomy with the cows! All 23 of the birds
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are dead. They were trampled to death in the orgy. I
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hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.
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Your sworn enemy,
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Abigail
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Bindum, Twistum, and Gougem
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Attorneys At Law
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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910 Upyurs Avenue St. Louis, Missouri
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December 25
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John Bedeviler
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85 Ornery Avenue
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Annoyance, Missouri
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Dear Sir:
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This is to ackonwledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers
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fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our
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client, Miss Abigail Forthrightly. The destruction, of
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course, was total. All correspondence should come to
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our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss
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Forthrightly at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendents
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have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this
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letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.
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Cordially,
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Bindu, Twistum, and Gougem
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________________________________________________________________________________
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________________________________________________________________________________
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A friend of mine gave that to me. It has no author listed, but I thought it was
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damn funny.
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-Lobo
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12/24/94
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________________________________________________________________________________
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Merry Christmas and all that from GwD.
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So what if it's a little late? Read it again next year!
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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------------------------------[GwD Command Centers]-----------------------------
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Chaos (806)797-7501 | PCI (806)792-3302
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GridPoint Durant (405)920-1347 | The Sprawl (806)797-0820
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Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168 | Mogel-Land (215)732-3413
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The Snake's Den (806)793-3779 | The Lagoon (914)638-3712
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The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948 | Altered Reality (203)925-8349
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Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259 | Cell Block 4 (214)612-8694
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Pirate's Cove (806)795-4926 |
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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/---------------\
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copyright (c) 1994 GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
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GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo : GwD :
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All rights reserved to Green X-Mas wreaths \---------------/
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