114 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
7.1 KiB
Plaintext
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
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T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e
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Presents:
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"Rex et son ami Louis, Le Prochain Chapitre:
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La rentr‚e de les deux chouette hommes."
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OR
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"Rex and his friend Louis, The Next Chapter:
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The return of the two cool men."
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by Lobo
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PREFACE
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Well, we've all read the original Rex and Louis file, you know, the one
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about how they hold up a liquor store and then The Crusader From Beyond (TCFB)
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thwarts their dastardly plans? Well, okay, maybe we haven't ALL read it, but it
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doesn't matter. This file isn't even related to that one, anyway. The only
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similarity is the first names of the main characters, Rex and Louis. TCFB isn't
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even part of this story. Oh well, here goes.
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It was a hot day, in the middle of summer. Rex, a big time car thief, and
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his best friend and closest business associate, Louis were out for a leisurely
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stroll around the neighborhood. Well, they were walking along, and all of a
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sudden, a man in a black trench coat stepped into their path. "You Rex and
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Louie?" he growled. "Who's askin'?" said Rex behind a sneer. "Well, if you is,
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I gotta give somefin to yuz. Is you or isn't you Rex and Louie?" the man said.
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He was definitely becoming annoyed. "I'm Louis (with an emphasis on the 'iss')
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and this here is Rex. Now, are you gonna give it to us?" demanded Louis. The
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man opened his trench coat and said, "Here it is." He whipped out an uzi, and
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did his best to shoot Rex and Louis. These boys had seen action before, so they
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easily dodged the shots and grabbed the man, pinning him to the ground. "You
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shot at us. You unbelievable bastard!" screamed Rex into the man's ear. "Who
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sentcha? WHO SENTCHA?" demanded Louis whilst he beat the trench coated man (who
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was now laughing)to a bloody pulp. "Guess," came his reply after he's lost all
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of his teeth. Well, neither Rex or Louis was very bright, so when they were
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done guessing it was dark and the man wished he would have told them in the
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beginning. "We ain't guessin' no more," declared Rex, "So you better tell us,
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or you're gonna be in a world of pain." "Jim Conway sent me. He wanted me to
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dust you boyos off, but i had not idea you had such keen intellects. Tell me,
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were you born that stupid, or did your parents drop you a lot. Neither Rex or
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Louis realized they were being insulted, so they said nothing. "You guys wanna
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find Conway? I'll take you to him."
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Conway's office was near a suspiciously familiar convenience store. "Go on
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in," suggested the man, who's name was Scott, as Rex had found his driver's
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license, and we all know that hit men never lie about things or get fake ID's.
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Anyway, inside, they were met by a man claiming to be Conway. "Why you want us
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dead, you slime?" questioned Louis. "Maybe if you weren't such a fucker, you'd
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know the answer to that question. You goddamn sons of bitches." He then shed
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his suit, revealing none other than the costume of (dun dun dun) The Crusader
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From Beyond! "Hey, you ain't supposed to be in this story! Let's get 'im!"
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cried Louis. "Not so fast, motherfucker. You ain't fit to suck my dog's dick,"
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he said as he proceeded to kick their asses royally "now, now, now, I wouldn't
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have to kill you if it wasn't for one thing." "What's that, fuck-face?" said
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Rex. "It's your names, dick-lick. I kill and/or maim and/or have arrested
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everyone named Rex who has a close association with anyone named Louis. You
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fuck!" he cried, as Louis shot him in the foot. Since TCFB is not immune to
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bullets, he doubled over in pain. "Die, you butt-fuckers! Die!" even near
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death, TCFB's dirty mouth didn't stop. "What are we? Huh? Butt-fuckers? Sons
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of bitches? Dog-dick-lickers?" asked Rex in his best church-boy voice. Each
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question was punctuated by a kick in the genitals by Rex and a gunshot in the
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leg by Louis. "You goin' down, little man. Down!" screamed Louis. "Oh yeah?
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Well, what about this?" as he said this, TCFB let loose with a super plama bolt
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right into Rex! "Waitaminute...in dat other story, you didn't know how to use
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you powers! What gives?" Louis asked, inquistively. "Well, you see, each time
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I hurt anybody with your names that have a close working relationship (like you
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shits), I gain the use of one of my powers. I learned this from the oracle in
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my shitter. I believe humans call it a toilet. Well, anyway, it is actually a
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member of a race that is indigenous to my plane of existence, they call
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themsleves the Pish-Antes. Everytime you build a 'toilet', you yank one of them
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from his or her home, you assholes! Well, it told me how to gain use of my
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powers. You wanna know why I have powers here, but not at home?" <He then
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thwaps the unconscious Rex and knees the badly hurt Louis in the groin> "Unh!
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Yeah, tell us, pleeease!" whimpered Louis. "Okie dokie, asswipe. It's cuz yer
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moon's really made of green cheese. If it was rock like every other moon, I
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wouldn't have powers!" he said. "Why that hitman, then?" asked Louis. "He
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wasn't no goddamn hitman. He's just the neighbor kid, and he needs some cash.
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I set him up to get his ass kicked and bring you cock-suckers back to me," said
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TCFB, letting loose with another plasma blast that killed Louis. He then left
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the building and set it ablaze with yet another blast. "Good-fuckin'-riddance.
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Buncha dicks." declared TCFB as he headed home.
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AFTERWORD
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Well, so I lied. TCFB was in it. He's the star anyway, right? This file
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was written on a June afternoon in one half an hour when I was bored out of my
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mind. That's why it lacked something that the original had. Look out for more
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Rex & Louis files from GwD when I get around to writing them.
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P.S.- If you don't like Rex, Louis, or TCFB, I'll consider quitting writing
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files about them. I assume you can take it once in a while, though.
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GwD Command Centers-
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Chaos (806)797-7501
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SysOp-Seth Sometimes (Mission Control)
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GridPoint (405)920-1347
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SysOp-Transderm-Nitro (First Conquest)
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Federation Slayers' (806)798-8168
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SysOp-Big Red Fed
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The Starchy White Boy BBS (803)###-####
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SysOp-Fastjack (Moved to South Carolina, number available soon)
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Light My Fire (806)795-4926
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SysOp-Ailanthus
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The Snake's Den (806)793-3779
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SysOp-Diamondback
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The Siege Perilous (806)762-0948
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SysOp-Longshot
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Brazen's Hell (301)776-8259
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SysOp-Brazen (Eastern Outpost)
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Club Baby Seal (817)429-4636
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SysOp-Zippy (Penile Implant Site)
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/---------------\
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copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo of GwD Inc. :FIGHT THE POWER:
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GREENY world Domination Task Force copyright (c) 1993 by Lobo: GwD :
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All rights reserved to The Guy with the Pot of Gold \---------------/
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