81 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
81 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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How Does Everyone Else Do It?
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Part I in the upcoming series
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Tick, tick, tick, tick. All I can hear is the internals of my
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wristwatch and the low murmur of the ceiling fan in my two bedroom
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apartment. It's so quiet, I'm in the country and not a Taco Bell within 30
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miles of here, yet cows within walking distance. I look out my window into
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a clear starry night, a car passes by on a nearby road. I can hear the
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stones crunching under it's tires and I try to imagine what it would be
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like to be the person in the car, to have his life, to be right there in
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his reality.
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I'm confused, dismayed and disillusioned by my life at it's
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current stage. I'm a student, a professional, an introvert, a friend and a
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lover. I'm poor, yet I'm better off than most, and I'm broke but I'm
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salaried. When did life become so complicated? Was it not just the other
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day when I was a junior in high school, living at home, working 9-5 a some
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slave labor job and actually loving life?
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I can't help but think about my teen years every day,
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contemplating what I would give some satanic being to take me back there.
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Most times I find myself contemplating the worth of my soul or some
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essential appendage. Why do I yearn for those days when I was just a kid
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and thought I knew it all? The days when all was trivial and nothing was
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permanent.
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Today, I am jealous of those students at my college that go to
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parties, get drunk and seem to not have a care in the world. How do they
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do it? I have bills, rent, car payments and insurance. I'm broke most of
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the time, despite working at a very large corporation and making quite a
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bit more than most people I know. Yet, I want their lives. I want to be a
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party guy, I want to get drunk and stupid. I want to act juvenile and have
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others around me just blow it off because I am a college student.
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Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be Bluto from Faber Univ. but
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I want to have fun. The only problem is, I can't let go of responsibility.
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I am always worried or thinking about something. Did I pay this bill? Did
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I get this done for work? Did I do my homework? Did I study enough for the
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test coming up? Is my girlfriend happy? Like a broken Hank Williams 45,
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these things cycle through my mind.
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How do they do it? While my tuition is being subsidized by outside
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sources and scholarships, I know most of these students are funded
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primarily by their parents. No bills, no jobs, no responsibilities other
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than school. They go to classes, perhaps work a part-time job to get some
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spending money and THATS IT.
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While it sounds enticing, and I think I'd like to live like that
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for a year or so, I can only wonder what these poor souls are going to do
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when they get to my stage of life. I've learned a lot of valuable lessons
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in my 20-something years on this earth, and due to my choice of lifestyle,
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learned it quicker than most college students. Yet I envy the four years
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of parties, drunken sex, elicit drugs and vomiting.
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This semester I've scheduled myself for 40 hours of work a week
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plus 18 credit hours. This should make me forget all about fun and
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parties. Welcome to my Dante's Inferno.
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Tersian
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Life Masochist
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= To receive new issues through mail, mail jericho@dimensional.com with =
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= "subscribe fuck". If you do not have FTP access and would like back =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= AnonFTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.SEKURITY.ORG/pub/zines/fucked.up.college.kids =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.ETEXT.ORG/pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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