166 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
166 lines
6.3 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Things to Ponder
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Just a few humorous things to ponder over. Kinda makes you
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wonder who came up with some of this and why we continue
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with our bizarre ways. Enjoy.
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* Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?
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* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
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* Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead
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of parachutes?
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* Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
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prohibited there?
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* If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there
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locks on the doors?
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* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
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* Lisp, if you suffer, you can't say it.
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* Dyslexic, if you suffer, you can't spell it.
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* Why is "monosylabic", by definition, not?
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* How many people with a speech impedement can say "impedement"?
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* Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
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* If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's
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license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
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* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
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* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in
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the mornings?
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* If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON
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stick to the pan?
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* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
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* Why isn't 'palindrome' spelled the same way backwards?
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* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's
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called a shipment, but when you transport something by
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ship, it's called cargo?
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* You know that little indestructible black box that is used
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on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the
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same substance?
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* Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?
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* Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
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* Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
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* Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
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* Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
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* Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result
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is the same?
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* Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
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* Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all
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stuck together?
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* Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
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* Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
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* How can someone "draw a blank"?
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* Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
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* Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
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* Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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* What is another word for "thesaurus"?
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* When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
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* Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
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* Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
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* Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we
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are already there?
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* Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
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* Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
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* Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
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* Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called
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a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
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* Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
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* Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see
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it's on, when it's off you can't see to read.
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* How do you know it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
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* Why is FOOTball played by hand?
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* If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
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* Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an
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address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
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* If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that
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says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear",
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how can that be possible?
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* If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped
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it from a height, what would happen?
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* If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what
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happens when you turn on the headlights?
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* You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the
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protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
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* What's another word for thesaurus?
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* Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
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* If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
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This file brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, Submissions =
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= Mail: jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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= issues, send a list of any missing issues and they will be mailed. =
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= WWW http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.reps.net/~krypt/fuck.html =
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= http://www.interlog.com/~lisa/f.u.c.k. =
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author. =
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