156 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
156 lines
8.6 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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InnerReflectiveThoughts at 4:30 am on October 6, 1996
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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[Pick Me Pick Me, Yeah!]
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I wish I had never been born. I've fucked up since my childhood, always
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making the wrong decisions, always siding with the wrong element at the
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time. I'm never the best at anything I do. I'm a Jack of All Trades, a
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Master of None.
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I dropped out of high school at age 16. Would have sooner, but had to be 16.
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Got my drivers permit two days after being 16, one day after dropping out.
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Took me two years to get my license. I still don't own a car. I dropped
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out of college when I started using drugs too much.
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[He never sleeps cause he's got bad luck]
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I've thrashed my brain almost to the point of stupidity on drugs. I've done
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a few here, a few others there. I am the eternal statistic.
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I work at a shitty job. I have no future there, but lack the courage and the
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schooling to go anywhere else. I get no respect from the public whom I serve
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fat-ladden food to everyday. I just got fired from a hotel for calling in
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sick. I hate capitalism.
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[I just want you to know that I don't hate you anymore]
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Its not my fault, or something. Its all because I was super-intelligent as
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a child and was constantly misunderstood. I had few friends because they
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were all intellectually inferior, or something. No one older than me accepted
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me because it was de clase. Adults didn't listen to me because I was too
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young to know anything. No one listened to me because they couldn't follow,
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or something. Hey, its not my fault, don't you know? I can blame all this
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on someone else I'm sure.
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[you're not much]
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I hate everyone. I'm not racist, but everyone not like me can go to hell.
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I'm not sexist but women suck, or they don't, which makes them worse. I'm
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not alternative, but every 'normal' person should get a clue. Yeah, you and
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everyone else can just fuck off. Get off my case, get off my back, go away,
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you know the routine.
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[gun gun shoot my gun]
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I wish death had claimed me when it had the chance. I complained for hours
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about a tummy ache. If my mother had ignored me for a few more hours, just
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another day, maybe my appendix would have ruptured and I would have been
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spared adolescence. That would have been nice. What was the point in keeping
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me around anyhow?
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[Now I'm all alone]
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Chemical depression. Yeah, its cliche, its my life. Fuck you, you haven't
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been down here with me. You haven't felt the anger and the angst turn inward,
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had it gnaw at your innards like a ravenous beast. Felt the urges and
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compulsion when it tears free. You can't know what its like hating everything
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but saving the vehemence for yourself. You don't see the world in its dark
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shades of grey. You don't see the eternal decay of humanity and the sinister
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pain that rules life as we know it. You can't see it. You ... Chemical
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depression. Its all in my head, you can make it go away. Prescribe my
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salvation. Come one, give me the happy pill.
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[Self appointed judges judge]
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Chemical dependency. Prozac, cocaine, I don't see the difference. They both
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make me high. Life sucks, but hey I'm feeling great right now. Take on the
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world, when it beats you down, just try again! Try, try again. Try, try,
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and fail with glee!
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[Forever in debt to your priceless advice]
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Take charge! Take command! Stop wallowing in self pity. Yeah, if I pitied
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myself I wouldn't step out the door each day. I don't whine or complain, I'm
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just becoming aware of my feelings and getting in touch with my inner self.
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By the way, he says to fuck off as well.
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[Cut myself on angel's hair and baby's breath]
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Oh so ultra-sensitive. Each little word is like a razor as it slices deeply
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along each vein. Each look becomes the festering infection that rots my
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flesh away. Yeah, you didn't hurt my feelings, just my pride. I didn't have
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much to begin with, now I have to nurse the weaklings wounds. Yeah, it
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hurts, but its not like you cared to begin with.
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[I'm not the only one - Hate me - Do it again and again]
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Shove through me to get to your ever important meeting you corporate shit.
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Cut in line in front of me, at my bank, cause you are black and I oppressed
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you for four-hundred years you fucking asshole. Holler at me cause your food
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wasn't perfect, cocksucker. Keep a close eye one me, fuckhead, I may steal
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something because I'm young and dress grungy. Laugh at me because I don't
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follow your ever important fashion trends you gutless yuppie spawn. Hound me
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for my change, because you are 'older than my mamma' and I am 'your brother',
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after all, its only 50 cents right, you worthless trash, and I owe it to you,
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right?
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[Steal the laughter that's inside of me]
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I wish I was never born. The world confuses me. Everything seems to
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contradict itself. School made no sense, and the only concept I couldn't
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grasp was how to spell. Piece of shit losers slowed the whole learning
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process for me, and I got sick of waiting for the dumbass in class to catch
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up. I learned more ditching class to go to the library for five hours than
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any of my classmates. I dropped out of high school with more knowledge than
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most graduates. I learned more on the streets than church taught me. I
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found the love of god pouring out of the masses. I found salvation in the
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little tabs of acid with the crosses on them. I, ah, fuck you, you prolly
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couldn't understand anyway.
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- anarchy X -
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[BTW, if i offended you by telling you to 'fuck off', or by calling someone
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like you, or someone you know, a 'cocksucker' or 'asshole', I'd like you to
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know I'm not really all that sorry. Thanx to nirvana for the intermissions
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between thoughts, but fuck you kurt, cause you're dead.]
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Questions, Comments, Bitches, Ideas, Rants, Death Threats, etc etc... =
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= Internet : jericho@dimensional.com (Mail is welcomed) =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= gote land +27.31.441115 =
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= Arrested Development +31.77.3547477 =
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= Global Chaos +61.2.681.2837 =
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= Chemical Persuasion 203.324.0894 Undrgrnd Indust/Inc. 207.490.2158 =
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= Damnation 212.861.0580 Damnation -Toll Free 888.803.8490 =
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= Hacker's Haven 303.516.9969 Unearthly Shadows 303.683.1443 =
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= E.L.F. (NUP) 314.272.3426 Misery 318.625.4532 =
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= Dungeon Sys. Inc. 410.263.2258 Psykodelik Images 407.834.4576 =
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= Paradise Lost 414.476.3181 Black SunShine 513.891.3465 =
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= underworld_1995.com 514.683.1894 Digital Fallout 516.378.6640 =
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= PSYCHOSiS 613.836.7211 Bad Trip 615.870.8805 =
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= Plan 9 716.881.3663 suicidal chaos 718.592.1083 =
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= Damaged 801.944.7353 The Death Star Bar 805.872.3151 =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 BloodNet 901.872.8615 =
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= Atrocity Exhibition 905.796.3385 Phoenix Modernz 908.830.8265 =
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= The Keg 914.234.9674 that stupid place 215.985.0462 =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= Files through Anon FTP FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM/users/jericho/FUCK =
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= FTP.PRISM.NET/pub/users/mercuri/zines/fuck =
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= FTP.WINTERNET.COM/users/craigb/fuck =
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= FTP.GIGA.OR.AT/pub/hackers/zines/FUCK =
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= ETEXT.ARCHIVE.UMICH.EDU - /pub/Zines/FUCK =
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= FTP.DIMENSIONAL.COM - /users/rage/zines/fuck =
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= Files through WWW: http://www.dimensional.com/~jericho =
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= http://www.prism.net/zineworld/fuck/ =
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=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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= (c) Copyright. All files copyright by the original author =
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