75 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
75 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
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= F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K. =
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Drivers
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We are in the midst of a global conspiracy my friends. It threatens
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our sanity, nerves, and brains. The conspiracy that I speak of is of course,
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shitty drivers.
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Bah, these people are a disease. No matter where I drive I always run
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into at least five. Shitty drivers are everywhere, in such amounts, that they
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can only be a global conspiracy. Just check next time you are out cruising.
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You should find about two in the first ten minutes of driving. If you don't
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notice any, well, I hate to break it to you, but you are a shitty driver, so
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whatever they do seems normal. Hah.
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Shitty drivers all drive the same, no matter what race, sex, creed,
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national origin, or religion they are. Shitty drivers always drive below or
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just at the speed limit when you need to be somewhere and you are running
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late. Corolary, they drive slow in the far left lane when you aren't in any
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hurry, but you've been speeding and run up on them quickly.
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Shitty drivers are frequently old. You've seen them all over the
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highways (usually in the far left lane at 45mph). Big, really huge cars
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piloted by what looks like knuckles and the top of a head. They cruise
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everywhere, never stopping, always looking for some normal person to get in
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front of to annoy. This is a well kept secret, the only joy old people have
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left is driving like that to turn ordinary people into raving, foaming, 45mph
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driving, maniacs. This is what replaces sex for the elderly.
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Another of the "drivers from hell" is the bubble headed blonde who
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just got a new convertible Mustang from mommy and daddy in celebration of the
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latest tax law favoring the rich. She drives along completely oblivious to
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everyone else on the road. This is the girl who switches from lane to lane,
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chewing gum, and never even seeing the eight cars who had to pile up behind
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her because driving, chewing gum, and using a turn signal is just toooooo
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complicated for her little sorority/prep school mind to manage.
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Another of the bothersome rich is the frat boy in the sports car who
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cuts you off, not because he didn't notice you, but because you are in a lower
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tax bracket than he is. Jerk. The frat driver is found around colleges,
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usually drunk on weekends. You'll never see dents in his car though, because
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his parents take care of the body work. They pay off judges too.
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Finally we have the type of driver that looks like one of the extras
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in a western. They drive around in pick-ups older than most of the students
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in college and carry lots of yard-working equipment that just sits on a
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trailer and looks like it never moves. These trailers drop small pieces of
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metal on your car going 70 on the interstate, because the drivers
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arrange everything to destroy the finish of vehicles newer than theirs.
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Notice that nothing ever drops onto other pick-ups.
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So that is most of the types of shitty drivers that I run into here on
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the South Carloina highways and biways and triways. I assure you that some
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of these people inhabit the roads around your home. Just look and you'll spot
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them.
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One other thing, its real easy to deal with these people, when you run
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onto their cars on the roads, just run them into the ditch. I will begin
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giving out cash to confirmed kills.
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-fastjack
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= Questions, comments, bitches, ideas, etc : z3mar@ttacs.ttu.edu : FUCK =
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= Official F.U.C.K. Distribution sites and information =
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= Board Number Other =
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= ----- ------ ----- =
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= Immortal Hate 806.745.8879 World HQ =
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= Ionic Destruction 215.722.0570 Eastern HQ =
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= PcI 806.794.1438 NUP: ORWELL WAS RIGHT =
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= Purple Hell 806.791.0747 Dist. =
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= Accounts NOT guaranteed on any F.U.C.K. distribution site. If you are =
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= interested in writing for, or in becoming a distribution site for =
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= F.U.C.K. call Immortal Hate, and apply for an account, or mail Dam =
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= at z3mar@ttacs.ttu.edu or on Immortal Hate. Knowledge is power... =
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