1007 lines
52 KiB
Plaintext
1007 lines
52 KiB
Plaintext
yeBBA DA bLEWMIE
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SNOOPY DEWDY WOODPECKER!
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KiLLIE BLEWPIE BLoOPIE
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FUCK YEWBIE NEWBIE
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rEADBLIE FONGUBLIE
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Ú-+- - - ° ------+-------- "ýS$@@aa a$$$ -+--°------ _.a@@$$ --¿
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| ° °°²° °° ° "ý$$$@.ý" $""' °
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| ° .@$ý $@ °²±°° ° `ý$@a. a a@$$SSii:: : °²°
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° ,ý" . ° a@$ý `ý$ `"ý$$ý °
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aaa a.__ _ $@aaa : $@a._ a a$$ $ |
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a$aaaaaaaaaa a$$$$$@a _ i ° $$$$$$ $ ' aaaaaaaaa
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""ý$$$$$$$$ý" "ýS$$$$ $@a, ý$aaaaaaa@@$ý""ý4$$$$$$aaa&@aaaaaaa $" "$$$
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$$$$ý$$$ |© `l$" "$$$ `$$$$$$$$$: : aaaaaa `$$$$$$$: $byd$$$
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--. --$$"" "$$:.:© --:$byyd$$l --:S$$" "$$ -©| $ý""ý$- ©ª $ý"""ý$:- $ý"""ý$-
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°°: ° $$$$ $$$: °._.a$$$$$Sý" |ª°:l$$b yd$$:°©: .:ii:.°°:ª :iii: °°: ° .:ii: °°
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--a -:$$$$ iSS@aa--- - _.a -:©- $ý"" ""ý$:-©ª iiSii:--|ª :SSSSS: -ª|-:iSSii:--
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S$i.|$$ý" "ý$ ª©:.,aa@$$$$ ©:. '.::ii:. :| iSSSSSaaaaaS$SS$$S ª© SiSSiSS
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$ $'.:ii: |© $$$ý "$: ©| ,ii:Siii: |ª ©| $$" "$: |© $$$S$$$
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$ ySiSS$i : $$l l: :ª :lSi" "iSS: aaaaaaaaa ©: $l l: :© $" "$$
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a a@$$$$SS$$: a aa$$$byyd$: :$$$bydS$$: : $$$$$$$ © $$byyd$ : $byyd$$
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`"ýS$$S: $$$$$$$$@aaaaaaaaaaaaaa ©| $$$$aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa$$$ý""
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. ° `$$ $SSSS$ $$$$$$$ °²° :
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: °²° $ "ý$i:.. . $iiii$ ° |
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| ° ; "ýSi::ii.. . i::::i "ýS$@@aa .@$$ý" |
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À---°------------- `iSi: : : +---- "ý$$$@.ý" - --- ° Ù
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° lý `ý$@a.
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.. dis l0ad of crizzap ' done by fractal of fire .a@$ý `ý$
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-----------------(I WANT MY FUCKING DR. PEPPER AND DING DONG)----------------
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It's been some time since fongu issue 2. I apologize for the delay,
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been distracted a lot recently. I know, an apology doesn't solve everything,
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so here's my offer for you to accept my apology... I've bared my soul in the
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last 2 fongus... the least I can do is... bare myself for you guys...
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Man <sniff> you guys mean a lot to me...
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS:SSSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS:::SSS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS::::::SS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS:::::::::::::::::::::NS
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SSSSSSSSSSSSSS::nnnnnnn,::::::,nnnnnN
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SSSSSSSSSSSSS::':::::::::::::/:::::N
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SSSSSSSNNNNSS:::;oO@@Oo;::::::;oO@@n
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SSSSSSN::::SS::::::::::::::::::::::N
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SSSSSSN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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SSSSSSN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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SSSSSSNN:::::::::::::::nNNn:::::::N
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SSSSSS:N::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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SSSSS:NN::::::::::::::::::::::N
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SSS::::NNN::::::::"NNNNNNN:::N
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N:::::::NNN:::::::"NnnN:::N
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N::::::::::NNN:::::::::::N
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NN::::::NN::::NNN:::::::N
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NN::::::::NNN::::NNNNNNNN
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N::::::::::::NN:::::::N
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NN::::::::::::::NN::::::N
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NNNN:::::::::::::::::N::::N
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NN::::::::::::::::::NNNNNN::N
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NN::::::::::::::::::::::::NNNNN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNN
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NN
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NN:::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::::N
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NN::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::::::::N
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NN::::::::::::::::::N:N::::::::::::::::N
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N:NN::::::::::::::NN::N::::::::::::::::N
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N:::N::::::::::::N:::::N:::::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::NN::::::N::::::::::::::oo
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::::o@@
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::::No'
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::NNNN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::N:::N
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::::::::NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::N::::::N NNNNNNNNNNNN
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N:::N::::::::::::::::::N::::N::::::N NN::::::::::::NN
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N:::N::::::::::::::::N:::::N::::NNN NN:::::NNNNNNNNNN
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N:::N::::::::::::::NNN::::::N::::N N::::::::::::::NN
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N:::N::::::::::::::::NN::::::N:::NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN:::::::::::()::NN
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N:::N:::::::::::::::::NNNNNNNNNNN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::()::NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::()::NN
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N::::::N::::::::NNNN::::::::::::::::::::::::NNNN::::::::::::::::NNN
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N:::::::N::::::::::::NNNNNNN::::::::::NNNNNNN:::::::::::::::::()::NN
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N::::::::N::::::::::::::::::NNNNNNNNNN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::NN
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N:::::::::NN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
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N:::::::::::NN::::::::::::::::::::::NNNNNNN NNNNN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNNNNNNN NN:::::0
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NNN::::::::::::NNNNNNNNNNN:::::::N N><::::::N
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N:NNNNNNNNNNNN::::::::::::::::::N NN::><:::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N NN:::::><:::N
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N NN::::::::><NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N NN:::::::::NN
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N# NN:::::::::NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N##:::::::::NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N####:::::NN
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N:::::::::::N::::::::::::::::::::::N####:::NN
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N:::::::::::NN:::::::::::::::::::::N####:NN
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N:::::::::::NNN:::::::::::::::::::NN####N
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N:::::::::::NN:N::::::::::::::::::N######
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N:::::::::::N:::::::::::::::::::::N!#####
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N:::::::::N::::::::::::::::::::::N!!###N
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!###NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!NN
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NN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!N:N
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NN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!!N:N
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NNN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!!N::N
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NN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!N:::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!!N:::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!!:::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!N::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!!N:::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N!!!!N:::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NNNNN:::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N:::::::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::N:::::::::::::::::N:NN::::::::::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::N::::::::::::::::N::::NN:::::::::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::N::::::::N NNN::::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::N::::::::N NNN::::::::::::N::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::N:::::::N NNN::::::::::N::::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::N:::::N NN::NN::::::::::N:::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::N:::N NN::::::N::::::::::N::::::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::::;;;;N NNN::::::::::::::::::::N::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::::;;;;;N NN::::::::::::::::::::::::N::::N
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N:::::::::::::::::;;;;;N N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::N;;;;;N N::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::N;;;;;NN:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::NN
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N::::::::::::::::N;;;;N:::::::::::::::::N::::::::::NNN
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N::::::::::::::N;;;;N::::::::::::::::NN::::::::NN
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N:::::::::::::N;;;;N:::::::::::::::NN::::::::NN
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N:::::::::::;N;;;;N::::::::::::::NN::::::::NN
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N:::::::::;;N;;;;N::::::::::::NNN::::::::NN
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N:::::::;;;;;;;N:::::::::::NN:::::::::NN
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N::::;;;;;;;N::::::::::N::::::::::NN
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NN:;;;;;;;NN::::::::::::::::::::NN
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N;N;;;;;NN::::::::::::::::::::NN
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N;;;;;NN::::::::::::::::::::NN
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N;;NNN::::::::::::::::::::NN
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NNN:::::::N::::::::::::NNN
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NN:::::::::N::::::::::::NN
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N:::::::::N:::::::::::::N
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N:::::::::N:::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::N::::::::::::NNN
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N:::::::::::::::::::::::N;;NN
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N::::::::::::::::::::::N;;;;NN
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NN::::::::::::::::::::N;;;;;;NN
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N;N:::::::::::::::::::N;;;;;;;;NNnn
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N;;N::::::::::::::::::N;;;;;;;;;;NNnnn
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N;;;N:::::::::::::::::NNN;;;;;;;;;;nnnnn
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N;;;N::::::::::::::::N NN;;;;;;;;;;;;;N
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NNNNN:::::::::::::::N NNNNNNNNNNNNN
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N::::::::::::::::N
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N::::::::::::::::Nn
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N:::::::::::::n::::Nn
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NN:::n::n::n::nn::::N
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NN::N::N::N::NN:::N
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NN NN NN NN NNN
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I know this doesn't look good...
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"I look better in real life" - Internet lie since '52
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But... uhm, the polaroid wasn't working right... yeah, that's it..
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yeah... dAMN poLAROID CAMERAZ!@# STEWPOR cHINKORZ, YEW cANT mAKE cAMERAZ
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rIGHT, bITCHOR!@#%
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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"hello"
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by - mogel
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fongu really sucks.
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i hate to state the obvious, but just in case you were kicked in
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the head one too many times, i wanted you to know.
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there.
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you can thank me later, fuckface.
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- mogel
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-----boyee fun fun more masturbation. yes yes--------------------(mro)-------
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Forget baseball. I've found a new pastime. I do it as much
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as possible. I am pleased to say I am addicted to this
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event. It rules my life. I am about to go to a #WOA meeting,
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but first...!@#$%^&*!#!#$!$@, AHH Yea, Done. Now lets go to
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the meeting...
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*** MrOctober (catfish@mail.ee.net) has joined channel #WOA
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*** Topic for #WOA: Wh4ckin' oPH Anonymous
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*** Topic for #WOA set by WOA on Fri May 3 20:48:52 1996
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*** Users on #WOA: MrOctober @WOA
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(WOA) Hello MrOctober, Welcome to #WOA. The Channel for those
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addicted to Wh4ckin' oPH.
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*** Wh4ck (jack@whack.oph.univ.edu) has joined channel #WOA
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(WOA) Hello Wh4ck, Welcome to #WOA. The Channel for those
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addicted to Wh4ckin' oPH.
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(Wh4ck) Sup??
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(MrOctober) Sup dewds? I am a Wh4ckoholic :)
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(Wh4ck) I am too, MrO :)
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(WOA) That's kewl guys, you've cum to the rite place :)
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(WOA) Fellas, tell me, where are some of the places you
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masterbate?
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(MrOctober) I wh4ck oPH in the shower, my bed, my parents
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room, and once in the dog house
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(Wh4ck) I masterbate in my room, the laundry room, at school,
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and at my grandma's house
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(WOA) MrO: Describe the time you wh4cked oPH in your dog house
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(MrOctober) Well, once I was going to give my dog a bone, heh
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no a milkbone :) Anyways, I went into my dog house
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and saw a neighbor sunbathing...The site of her
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boobs popping outta her suit gawt to me..I had to :)
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(WOA) heh, I've masterbated when I saw my neighbor in a
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bathing suit before too :)
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(WOA) Wh4ck: Tell us about your time in the laundry room
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(Wh4ck) OK, well once I went to the laundry room to get some
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socks. Well, I spotted one of my mom's bras. I
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didn't kno my parents were that kinky. The bra was a
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silky, see-thru, you know the kind men dream about
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(Wh4ck) Anyways, I instantly gawt a stiffy when I saw it...I
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put it on and after a while, I was finished. I didn't
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have anything to wipe it oPH with and well you kno the
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sox I went down to get...They were once again dirty :)
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(WOA) heh, thats kewl man
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(MrOctober) wh0rd wh4ck :)
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(WOA) Have y'all ever been cot?
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(MrOctober) Yeah...once
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(Wh4ck) nope never, I always make sure no one is around...If I
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do it at skewl, I lock the restroom door
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(WOA) MrO: How did you get cot?
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(MrOctober) Well, I don't have a VCR in my room, and I was
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incredibly horny that day...Well, lemme tell ya,
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Rite before that I was watching Saved By the
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Bell. Damn...Kelly was looking hot that day
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(WOA) Yeah...Kelly's awesome
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(MrOctober) OK, so I reached under my mattress and gawt out my
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porno..."Candi Does Columbus" and tewk a trip to
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my parents room
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(MrOctober) I began to wh4ck oPH and really started to get
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into the grate flick, especially when Candi was
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taken sum up the ass :)
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(MrOctober) I was getting ready to squirt, when I heard someone
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comin' up the stairs...I thot I was close to being
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done, but apparently nawt...
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(MrOctober) To my suprise my mom walked in. I was so
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embarrassed All she said was "Dammit, why are you
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doing this shit in my room?" I think she
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understands how the teen, male hormones werk :)
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(MrOctober) Nuthin' else was said...So I jest picked up my
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drawers and went back to my room and tewk out my
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February Issue of "Mr. Pleasure"...and I finished
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what I had started in my parents room
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(WOA) Yea all teenage guys wh4ck oPH :)
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(WOA) This meeting is coming to an end...Thank You all for
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your time, have fun wh4ckin oPH tonite...Here's a little
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souvenir to help you...
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*** DCC SEND (BigBOOBS.gif 1169) request received from WOA
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*** DCC GET connection with WOA[206.32.39.3,4254] established
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*** DCC GET:BigBOOBS.gif from WOA completed 0.0009766 kb/sec
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(WOA) Bye Guys
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(MrOctober) Bye, and thanx for the pic...It'll cum in handy
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if you kno what I mean :)
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(Wh4ck) Bye :)
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*** Signoff MrOctober (:DreaD: Wh4ckin' oPH)
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--chink0rs can masturbate too-----------------------------------------3t-----
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> hey
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> hey
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> hey
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> allright.
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> start now.
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> uhm, stop.
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> dAMMIT, STOP
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> OkAY, YEW WANT ME TO SAY IT?
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> aLLRIGHT, i'LL SAY IT
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<ewheat> hey
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<digital> FINE, I'LL SAY IT... EYE GOT A LItTLE DICK.
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<ewheat> oh, okay woah i phear...
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<digital> finally... allright.
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<digital> gewd, phear mah kung-fu chinkor irc-haxor skillZ
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*** digital is now known as LiuKang
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<LiuKang> yayayayayayyayayayayayaya
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* LiuKang pulls out his small chinese dick ... and does nunchuck shit wif it.
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* LiuKang spins around and stuff or whatever and kicks ewheat's head off with
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+ the small chinese dick.
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*** LiuKang is now known as digital
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.--[Whois]------[digital]--- - -- -------- -- -
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| address : digital@millennium.stealth.net
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| ircname : Shrihari Pandit
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| channels : @#nyc @#EU-Opers @#Chinese_prostitutes_who_scrub_your_backs_for_
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| +ten_cents_pheaR! @#WIN95HACKERS
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| server : ircd.stealth.net ([ircd.stealth.net] Stealth Communications, USA)
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| operator : digital is an IrcOP
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<ewheat> WOAH, EYE PHEAR THAT!@#% YEW GOT THE ZERO DAY XXXKOMBAT.IRC?! I
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+ PHEAR YEW NOW SHRIHARI-hARI-KIRI BOYEE!
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<digital> huh?
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<ewheat> are you chinese or indian or... whatever the fuck?
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<digital> I AM NEITHER, I AM _AMERICAN_!@#
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<ewheat> African American?
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<digital> AMERICAN DAMMIT.
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<ewheat> uhm. Americans are white ppl. Are yEW WHITE?
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<digital> I'M AN AMERICAN!
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<ewheat> YEAH, WORDUP! WORD TO DA HITLER PEEPLE!@#%
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<digital> I dont like hitler.
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<ewheat> dew you like Ho Chi Minh?
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<digital> oh GOD YES, EYE GOT ZERO DAY PoRN OF HO CHI MINH! EYE GOT A
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+ PHEARIOUS ONE WHERE HE HAS NOODLEZ ALL OVER HIS DICK, OH GOD, OH GOD!@#%
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+ OH gOD
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<ewheat> well, who cares, eye g0tz 0n3 where he has n00dlez uP hiS AZZ!@#%
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+ yAY! PHEAR ME NoW!@#%
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<digital> YOU HAVE THAT? OH MY GOD!@#%!@#% EYE WILL GIVE MUH LEFT NUT FOR
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+ THAT, PHeAR!@#%
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<ewheat> eye will give yew the porn only if you give me a o:line.
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<digital> uhh uhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhh... let me think.
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<ewheat> ooh ohoh you want that hot anus dontcha?
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<digital> yEZ! eYE WANT IT!@#% bUT laRZ wILL bEAT mY ASS IF I gIVE yEW
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+ a o:line, <sob sob>
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<ewheat> s0rry.
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<digital> <sigh> it's allright, when it'z n0t 0-day anymore, yew hafta give
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+ it to me, okay?
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<ewheat> woah, okay, phear... but lewk at me now, phear my irc ninja skillz.
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*** ewheat is now known as digchink
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<digchink> HEY LEWK AT ME I'M a CHINESE COCKSUCKER, PHEAR, LEWK AT ME. CHING
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+ CHONG CHING ChoNG, WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA, I EAT RICE, PHEAr.
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<digital> Not funny.
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<digchink> WHAT? NO UNDERSTANDO ENGLISHSKI, EYE WANNA SOYBEANO AND DR PEPPER.
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<digital> Not funny.
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* digchink pulls out his small chinese whopper and does like... beating off
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+stuff with it, aciddentally sprays the jizz in his eyeZ, phEER.
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<digital> DAMMIT STOP THAT, THAT'S NOT FUNNY <CRYING>
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<digchink> WOKKA WOKKA CHINK CHONG CHING, HIROSHIMA! WOKKA! A-BOMB, WOKKA!
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<digital> I'M TELLING YOU, STOP THAT, OR I'LL HAVE MY MOMMY CALL YOUR MOMMY!
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<digchink> MOMMY MOMMY WOKKA WOKKA!@
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*** Signoff digchink (Killed (digital (eYEM GONNA TELL MY MOMMY!!!)))
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-- uhm... m0o?! -----------------------------------------------(by spook)----
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ok guys.. i've writin a lot of funny stuff in the past for zines and mags,
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but now it's time for me to get serious and write about something that has
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been troubling me and my friends for awhile now..
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mad cows disease..
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now now.. don't start laughing.. i'm very serious.. this virus affects all
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of us in some way or another.. especially me and my fellow cow fucking
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community.. yes that's write.. we are a big family... whether anyone admits
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it or not.. we all fuck cows from time to time.. it's ok to stay in the
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closet.. but some of us choose to admit it...
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I, spo0k, fuck cows..
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there.. i feel much better... and now.. back to the article..
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mad cows disease seems to be the aids of cows.. and yet the symptoms are so
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much worse.. I would rather be dead than to have a shriveled little purple
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dick like i have now.. yes mine is purple.. some turn green, some turn red,
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mine is purple.. don't laugh at me.. i'm very sensitive about it..
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mad cows disease was first introduced by good 'ol honest abe lincoln.. who
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was the first president to openly fuck cows in the white house.. he came to
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his medical staff complaining of a slight pain in the anus, as well as orange
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urine and a small, shriveled, yellow dick... when asked about it later, abe
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|
did admit that his dick was small, shriveled, and yellow before he started
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fucking cows, but that's not important... doctors, finally diagnosing the
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disease, wanted to call it the abe lincoln cow fucking disease, but later
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shortened the name to mad cow disease...
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now people, when you are fucking your cows.. please, PLEASE use a condom..
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it's the safest way to avoid this terrible disease.. for those of us (myself
|
|
included) who like to lick your cows anus repeatedly, i have found that you
|
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can even put a condom on your tongue, and that keeps the disease out of your
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body..
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in closing i would like to say that everyone fucks their cow... it's nothing
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to be ashamed of, don't worry about it.. if you do it and you don't feel
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right, it's perfectly normal.. just remember.. everyone does it.. and PLEASE
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for the love of god use condoms.. i don't want to spread this disease anymore
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than it allready is..
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thank you
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spo0k
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[--- phEAR the mALCOLM-X st0RY ------------------------------(ewheatb0y)---]
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<by the way... I've found it fun to write stories about ascii pictures...
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if you want your ascii picture to be a story here... email it to me...
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mturevon@freenet.columbus.oh.us aCK!@#% aSCII PICTURES NOT LOGOS, YEW hARE
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bRAINED hAMSTER peWPEr>
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$$T$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ STi: $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$ $$$$$,ý $$$$$ ý$$$$ý,$$$$ $$$$$
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$$$T$ $$$$$ $$$$$ Ti:'$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$a`ý$$$$, $$$$$ a$$ý' $$$$$ $$$$$
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$$T$$ $$$$$ $$$$S Ti:,$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ aa`ý$ ý"."ýaý'a$$ $$$$$ $$$$$
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$$i$$a$$$$$ $$$$S i:'$$a$$$$ý $$$$$ $$$$$ $$ý.,a,`ý .`,$$a' ýý".,ý$$$$ $$$$$
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$$i$$ . $$$ST i: $$ $$$$$ $$$$$a$$$$$ ýaý`a `'ý" .$$$$'ýS$$$$$$`$$$a$$$$$
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: :`, .' .a$$$ý'aS, ,aa ,$' ,aý .ý'a, `"ýSý
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: i `"ý"` `, `"ý,a,ý"` $' a$$S' `$$a, kHz
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. T .,a`$ý,, T $$$$ `. `$$$$a
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ý` a$S $$$$' , $$a, i `ý$ý `$$ý'
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`ý' `$ý i ý$ý :
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yOE, eYE'm a hEWKER. lEWK aT mE, eYE bUTTFUXOR mEN fOR m0NEY, yeZ
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sIR, eYE deW! lEMME tELL yEW a STORY. yEAH, y'KNOW A STORY... LIKE THE
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THREE liTTLE PIGS! gRR GRR eYE WANNA sUQ THE BIG BAD WOLF'S DIXOR.. OH YeW
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bIG BAD WOLF... oh HEHEHE, nEVERMIND. ANYWAYS oNE nIGHT EYE wUZ sMOKING cRAQ
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aND THIS bIG NEGRO cAME BUH, hE haD an "X" ON hiS FOREHEAD, LIKE A HINdEW,
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y'KNOW? eYE sEZ...
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----------
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<me> hEY huNNEY, wANNA dATE? aND wHY ARE yEW wEARINg uNDERWEAR oN yOUR
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HEAD?! EYE HAVE NO UNDERWEAR BY THE WAY! tEEhEE!
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<muhlcom-x> rUHLLY, yEW dONT? cAN I PLAY wITH YOU? WE CAN BE FRIENDS! MY
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NAME IS LOU! wHAT'S YOURS! mY FAVORITE DRINK IS KEWL-AID! GRAPE!
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<me> <eYE tHOUGHT hE WUZ sOME pERVERTED cHRONIC sIcKO, bUT eYE DONUT CARE!>
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HONEY EYE CAN BE ANYONE YOU WANT, wHAt wOULD yOU LIKE to PLAY? mUH FAVORITE
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DRINK iS YOU! tEEhEE!
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<lou> I WANT TO PLAY DUCK DUCK AND GEWZE! IT'S FUN! MY MOMMY AND I PLAY
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THAT ALOT!
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<me> HONEY, I LIKE THE GOOSE PaRT, lETZ pLAY! tEEHEE!
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<lou> oH, bY tHE wAY, wHY DEW YOU HAVE "aCID" aBOVE yER HEAD? aND WHO'S
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tHIS kHz<acid> gUY? iS hE a NICE PERSON?
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<me> h0n3y, 3y3'm iN ACID, EYE dRAW FOR 'EM aND YES, kHZ iS NICE, HE'S MUH
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pIMP.
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<lou> oH, OKAY, lETS GO!
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--------------?
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aFTER THAT WEIRD TALK THINGY EYE HAD WIF HIM, WE WENT OVAH TO HIS
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HOUSE AND HIS MOMMY WAS THERE! hOW kINKY! tEEHEE! wE sAT DOWN aND HE TOLD
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HIS MOMMY ABOUT mE!
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--------------?
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<lou> mOMMY, LOOK EYE MET A NEW FRIEND, hER NAME IS hEWKER.
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<mom> hOW niCE lOU, iS sHE yOUR pLAYMATE noW?
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<lou> yeS, mOMMY! hEWKER, wHY DONTCHA tALK?
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<me> tEEhEE, sO lOU tELLZ mE you GUYZ pLAY pHEARIOUS dUCK dUCK uND gEWZE?
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<mom> wHY YES! IT'S LOU'S FAVORITE GAME!
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<me> oH, eEZ tHAT SO? aLLRIGHT, lOU lETZ gO aND pLAY!@#%
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<lou> bUH BUH MOMMEE *kISS kiSS*
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<mom> bYE lOU *kISS kiSS*
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--------------?
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tHEN wE wENT tO HIS rOOM.... deRRRR...
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--------------?
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<me> hEY, wOULD yOU LIKE ME TO TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF, cmHERE eYE'm wET fER YEW!
|
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yEW aRE sO sEXY, cMhERE cOWBOY, rIDE mE lIkE a hORSIE
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<lou> eEEW, gEWRLZ aRE gROSS!! eWWWWWWW!
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<me> wELL, eH? eXCUSE ME?
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<lou> tHEY aRE gROSS, eYE dONT lIKE sNATCHES. sNATCHES sTEAL pURSES aND sTUFF
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sNATCHES aRE fOR mEAN pEOPlE!@#%
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<me> wELL, eXCUSE mE, eYE DONT hAVE a sNATCH, EYE hAVE a dIXOR lIKE yEW dO.
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sO, PHeAR!@#%!@#%
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<lou> rEALLY? YOU DO?!@ YAY!!! WE CAN REALLY PLAY NOW!! YAY!!!!
|
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--------------?
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dEN eYE sHOWED hIM muH bIG THINGY
|
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|
--------------?
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<lou> wOW, tHAT reMINDS mE oF BIG bIRD!@#
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<me> mUH dICK lEWKS liKE a bIRD?!@#5
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<lou> nO, eeTZ tHE "bIG" PART, teE HEE HEE HEE!
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<me> oH, dANKE yEW... wELL, lEMME sEE yERZ!@#%
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<lou> wELL, EETZ noT mUCH, bUT hERE! lEWK aT eET.
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<me> w04h, tHAt lEWKZ lIKE bERNIE aND eRNIE!@#
|
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<lou> muh... muH peNIZ iS oRANGE?
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<me> nOE, sILLY, yEW hAVe tHAT lITTLE fUNNY hAIR oN tOP oF eETZ!
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<lou> <bAWLINg> bUT eEZ tHAt gEWD oR bAD?
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<me> eETZ okAY bUT yEW lEWK liKE a wEREwOLF wIF tHAT, h0 h0 h0!
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<lou> aLLRIGHt, pHEar muH dIXOR eETz a wEREWOLF, pHEAr EETZ. gRR gRR gRR!!
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<me> woAH, sETTLe dOWN tHERE, bIG gUY! dONT lET eETz bITE ME!
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<lou> uH oH, sUMFtHIN's WRONG! eETZ pULLING aWAY!
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<me> hUH? yEW jERKED iT tEW mUCH dIDN'T yEW?
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<lou> nOE EYE DIDN'T, eETZ fALLINg oFF!@#5 aAAH AHHH AHhaHAHA AAAH AAAH!@
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<me> aAAH AHAAAAAHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@#%!@#%
|
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<lou> AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA
|
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!@#%!@#%
|
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|
--------------?
|
|
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|
tHEN lOU'S dIXOR juMPEd oFF hIS pELVIZ. eETz rAN arOUND tHE ROOM gROWLING
|
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anD sTUFF. "gRR gRR gRR gRR" eYE wUZ fREAKING oUT. eET hAD tEETH aND sTUFF
|
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iT sTARTEd tEW tALK aND STUFF
|
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--------------?
|
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<lou's dixor> hI tHERE, eYe'm mISTAH wEREWOLF bERNIE aND eRNIE sCROTUM hEAD!
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<me> wOAH, yEW aRe uGLY!
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<lou> hEY, yER caLLING muH dICK uGLY?
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> hEy, eYEm nOT uGLY aND eYE'm
|
|
NOT _YER_ pENIS. i aM mUH oWN pENIS, pENISES hAVE rIGHTS tEW! EYE'm sIXOR
|
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oF yEW bEATINg mE aLL tHe tIME aND sTUFF. iT mUSt STOP! oR eYE wILL rUN
|
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aWAY!@
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<lou> oH, bOO hOO, eYe'm sO sAWRY! eYE wONT dEW iT agAIN!
|
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<me> wOAH, lEWK aT tHAT. eETZ a taLKINg pENIS!@#
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> yEZ, eYE tALK, aND eYe aLSO
|
|
dEW tHIZ! cmHERe yEW sEXY gUY, cmHERe! cMHER! kEWTCHIE kEW!
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<me> hEy, wHATJOO dOING tEW mE noW?!@ nOE!@# gITTOR aWAY FROM mUH ANUZ!@#
|
|
nOe!@# nOE!@# gITTOR aWAY!@# aAAHH!@# eETZ uP muH ANUS!@# gITTOR oUTTa
|
|
mUH aRSE!@! OUT OUT OUT!@# OUT oUT!@#
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<lou> woaH!@# eYE'm gITTORING a boNER, oH wAIT, muH dIXOR iS nOT hERE, eETZ
|
|
rUNNINg aROUND, dAAAH!
|
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|
|
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> pHEAr mEW!@# eYE'm UP yER
|
|
aNUZ hOLE!# gRR gRR!@# eeTZ wARM aND jEWICY iN hERE!@
|
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<me> wHy, tHANK yEW, eYe wASH iT wITH mONISTAT sEVEN!@
|
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|
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> wERd, eYE caN tELL, i JUST
|
|
lUB tHAt smOOTH sILKY fEELINg yER ANUZ gOT!
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<me> wELL, tHANKS, cOULD yEW gITTOr oUT of muH AZZ tHEN?
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> gRR gRR. oKIE, bUH-bYE
|
|
mEESTUH hEWKER aNUZ hOLE.
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<lou> hEy, yEW, GITTOR OUT oF HER aZZ, yEW STEWPOR FUXORHEAD!@#%
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> hEY?!@#5 wHOJOO cALLING
|
|
sTEWPOR? oKAY, fINE tHAT'Z iT, eYEM lEAVING YOU!@
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<lou> oKAY, fINE!@
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
|
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<lou> fINE!@#%
|
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
|
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<lou> fINE!@#%
|
|
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<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> fINE!@#%
|
|
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<lou> fINE!@#%
|
|
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|
<Mister Werewolf Bernie and Ernie Scrotum Head> uHm, yEW kNOW eYEM reALLY
|
|
lEAVINg, sO, uHM, lIkE bUH-bYE!@#
|
|
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|
<lou> fINE!@#%
|
|
|
|
--------------?
|
|
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|
gUH, aND YEAH, aFTER THAT, lOU bECAME lIKE a dOCKTOR!@ hE'Z oN pAGE 103 oF
|
|
dA aPRIL fEWL'Z hUSTLER iZZUE... hEZ tHAT nERDY lEWKING gUY tHAT seLLZ THE
|
|
pENIZ ENLARGMENT pUMPZ, pHEAR!@# aND mE? uHm, yEAH, eYE fOLLOW mEESTUR
|
|
wEREWOLF bERNIE aND eRNIE scROTUM hEAD aLL aROUND dA wURLD aND sTUFF, eYE
|
|
hAVE mORE sTORIES oF hIM... bUT, mY moMMY sEZ iTS tIME fOR mE tEW gO tEW
|
|
bED, sO, uHM, gEE'niGHT!@
|
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<to be continuted... in further issues of f0ngu... ph34ry>
|
|
--------------?
|
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- silly irchaxors... ----------------------------------------(by thclone)----
|
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Capture file opened 21-Jun-1996 10:03p
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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.[thclOne]. So how long have jew been an ereet irc hax0r for?
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.[DrWizard]. I'm n0t full tyme irz haxor nymore
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.[thclOne]. So you are part time eh?
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.[DrWizard]. Yeah
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.[thclOne]. Why not full time anymore?
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.[DrWizard]. I was since 10 munthz ago, now i do haxing and stuph, no irc
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haxing anymore...
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.[DrWizard]. Ya see, a few months ago i was at this gay bar, Choices, and i
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started talking to this guy Bill....We started a relationship
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some anal sex here and there..i found out he was on irc too...
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.[DrWizard]. His name on here is piker...don't tell anyone though...this is
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private...well he learned that i had stolen a password file and
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i got busted...i hate that silly little slut
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.[thclOne]. So, what kind of haxor are you now?
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.[DrWizard]. Well...i mostly hack heterosexual channels and take them over...
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I also run the bot Habanero in #gaysex...msg him hello some time
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.[thclOne]. er.....ummmm...no
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.[thclOne]. Well what the fuck is covin? You are in that group...What is it
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a bunch of kid haxors?
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.[DrWizard]. covin is just a name for a group i joined about 1 month after me
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and piker broke up. I went back to Choices and met this cute
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little hair dresser Darkfall..he introduced me to covin...they
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are a homosexual oriented group so i joined. And we are not kids,
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we are just a bunch of faggot "haxors"
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.[thclOne]. ummmm...ok...whatever you say there flamer
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.[thclOne]. So, like do you covin people ever get together and shit?
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.[DrWizard]. Yeah, we mostly get together anally rape each other, stroll about
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in dresses, and such each other cocks..
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.[thclOne]. Why did you join?
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.[DrWizard]. I wanted to be around more faggots on irc.
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.[thclOne]. Wtf kind of name is covin?
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.[DrWizard]. it's easy silly c.o.v.i.n - cocks on victor's inner nose
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.[thclOne]. uhhh.....ok...who is victor?
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.[DrWizard]. he is the leader, darkfall, aka victor
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.[thclOne]. One last thing i just want you to know....
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.[thclOne]. you are the biggest cock loving FAGGOT i have ever met...GO SMOKE
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SOME MORE COCK WITH PIKER YOU STUPID FLAMER. I HOPE YOU GET AIDS
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YOU FUCKING COCK-IN-ASS LOVING FAGGOT
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.[DrWizard]. <sniff>...<cry>...
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.[DrWizard]. you made me cry! <sniff>
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*** DrWizard has left #ereet.
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.[thclOne]. flamer
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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Captured file closed 21-Jun-1996 10:21p
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Before you read this. A personal friend of mine wrote this shortly before he
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disappeared for awhile. Here's the deal. Fahrenheit had to give up his
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computer priviligies because of bad grades and strict parents. I hope that he
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returns someday, but seeing what's going on here... Hell, I'd be AMAZED if he
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even thinks of coming back. Fahrenheit... we miss you. Don't skip as much in
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school next year. :)
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--+(fAHRENHEIT)+-------------------------------------------------------------
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h0h0! wESTSIDE!@# dis is dat nigga fah kickin da actual factual wit ya
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bout tha one thing we all don't talk about but we KNOW we do it ..MASTURBATION!
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Yes, you heard me, right. I said MASTURBATION(The word just flows off my tongue
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like butter) Just picture it, yer sittin at home on a Friday night chattin on
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eye-are-see... some guy comes in and says, "HeY i GoT THe NeWeST ACiD PaCK!
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aNYoNe WaNT iT?" THERE'S YOUR CHANCE!@# /m acidlama xdcc send #1 ! DAMN GINA!#@
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THE PACK IS 2 MEGS!@# What can I do while d/ling it!@? Hrmm, whats this dangly
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thing between my legs? Hmm, when I touch these two ball like things it gets BIG
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and BEEFY. eYE mOVE mY hAND uP iT aND iT fEELS oH sO goOD!@# dAMMIT! eYE jUST
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jIZZED oN tHE kEYBOARD!@# SHIT HAPPENS! We all know we've done it, lets just
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fucking ADMIT IT. Whenever I get connected to IRC I just get a big phat BONER
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so I need to do SUMTHIN! My cat Fluffy ain't around.. hrmm... I KNOW!@# I WILL
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MASTURBATE! IT WORKS!@# Every single time I'm on #nta-nokturnal and I grab some
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kiddy porn off of MikeySoft it gets me VERY excited.. hrmm.. /wi ewheat wTF!@?#
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uNKNOWN nICK!?@#? shit.. i cant hot chat... i KNOW! <yes you guessed it!@#>
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MASTURBATION!@# Dont get mad at me for bringin attention to this subject.. You
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know i'm only bein real... But BE WARNED!@# Masturbation causes your pubic hair
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to fall off, I know from experience. And when I'm showering after PE.. well..
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<sniff> teenage boys can be so cruel... so if yer GONNA WACK IT!@# WEAR A
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JACKET!@#
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- fahsturbator..
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=====================================================
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| "8888888",dP"Yb, "888b 888" ,dP""Yb, "88 888 |
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| 88 i88 88i 88Y8b 888 i88 """ 88 888 |
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| 88888 888 888 88 Y8b 888 888 ssssss 88 888 |
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| 88 !88 88! 88 Y8b888 !88 88! !8 888 |
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| a88a `Yb,dP' a88a Y8888a `Yb,,dY' `Yb,,d8P' |
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| ;*;;;;*;;;*;;;*,, |
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| _,---'':::';*;;;*;;;*;;*d;, |
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| .-' ::::::::::';*;;*;dII; |
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| .' ,<<<,. :::::::::::::::ffffff`. |
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| / ,<<<<<<<<,::::::::::::::::fffffI,\ |
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| .,<<<<<<<<<<I;:::::::::::::::ffffKIP", |
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| |<<<<<<<<<<dP;,?>;,::::::::::fffKKIP | |
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| ``<<<<<<<dP;;;;;\>>>>>;,::::fffKKIPf ' |
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| \ `mYMMV?;;;;;;;\>>>>>>>>>,YIIPP"` / |
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| `. "":;;;;;;;;;i>>>>>>>>>>>>>, ,' |
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| `-._``":;;;sP'`"?>>>>>========. |
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| `---..._______...| Hormel | |
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| `========' |
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=====================================================
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