316 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
316 lines
11 KiB
Plaintext
Fat Nipples Fanzine #3 - FREE
|
|
|
|
Fat Nipples c/o Chris, P.O. Box 2554, Trenton, NJ 08690
|
|
chris.conway@njcc.wisdom.bubble.org
|
|
|
|
|
|
This is Fat Nipples #3. If you've read it before, you'll notice that it's
|
|
shrunk a bit. This is my issue off--after spending long hours and months
|
|
putting together #2, I'm banging this one out quick--short and sweet. I'm
|
|
saving myself for #4, which should be extra, extra large. That should be
|
|
out by June. Until then, enjoy. This ish is a little lighter--less poli-
|
|
tics, just personal observations and ruminations. Seeya.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Let me update you on what's been going on in my life since last issue. No-
|
|
thing. One notable event--I got in trouble at school and threatened with
|
|
nine days suspension for selling Fat Nipples #2. They claimed it was porno-
|
|
graphic and inappropriate for school. I ended up spending a day in inschool.
|
|
What fucking bullshit. The same day two girls got in a fight in the hall
|
|
and a boy brought a six-inch knife into school and guess what the administra-
|
|
tors were worried about? Fuck, damn, shit, nipples, sex and an insult to
|
|
the clergy. Counting the (many) days until I leave this school.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A Formal Explanation for the Name Fat Nipples.
|
|
You see there was this boy in my school who hated me for no reason and he
|
|
was a penis and all my friends and i hated him and his first name rhymed
|
|
with fat and his last name was the name of a rubber nipple manufacturer and
|
|
he was a little chubby and ugly as sin so we called him fat nipples and i
|
|
thought it was a cool name for a zine and it passed the "editor's in-joke"
|
|
test for fanzine naming so that's what i called it and now he's gone so i'm
|
|
not as afraid of getting my ass kicked so here it is.
|
|
P.S. his last name rhymed with sortin'.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you can't laugh at yourself, you're probably not very funny.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I just finished reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Deep. It's really
|
|
eye-opening and I think it's made me a better person. Maybe I should have
|
|
read Dianetics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've been piling Fat Nipples into files on my computer and sending them a-
|
|
round as "electronic fanzines". It hasn't worked too well. None of the
|
|
computer geek lame-brains want anything to do with it. They're too busy
|
|
listening to Rush. If you would like to see a copy or could circulate it
|
|
for me, e-mail me at the listed address. The files may be available on lo-
|
|
cal BBS's as FATNIPS1.ZIP, FATNIPS2.ZIP or FATNIPS3.ZIP so keep an eye out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Should I make Fat Nipples T-shirts? I think I could sell one or two, maybe.
|
|
They could say "I Love Fat Nipples" or "Do You Have Fat Nipples?" or "I Have
|
|
Fat Nipples" or "I Love My Fat Nipples" or some other variation on the Fat
|
|
Nipples theme. They would be really crappy looking and I probably can't af-
|
|
ford them and those are pretty lame ideas but maybe I'd do it if someone gave
|
|
a good idea for one. Anyone?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Last issue I was very excited about printing the zine on hemp paper. I had
|
|
bought a case of the stuff, had written about it in the zine and ended up
|
|
not using it. Why, you might ask? I brought it to the copy center on the
|
|
day I was to print the zine. The employee there looked at it and told me
|
|
that he couldn't possibly use it, it was too thin. What?!? They sent me
|
|
the wrong paper. The zine had to be out, so I bought a few reams of recycled
|
|
paper and into the copy machine it went. I went home and called the paper
|
|
company. "We sent you the wrong paper? No problem, full refund. We'll
|
|
send UPS to pick it up within the next few days." Two weeks later, it was
|
|
the same thing. A month and a half later they were denying that I had ever
|
|
called and saying they couldn't possibly have sent me the wrong paper. Fuck
|
|
that. Why does a good product have to be distributed by a shit-head company?
|
|
Hemp paper is the best possible alternative and I can't use it because
|
|
they're too fucking lame! GRRRR.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i went job hunting today--that was a great time. All sorts of reasons not
|
|
to apply for all sorts of lame jobs. The one job I can have is the one i
|
|
don't want. oh well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
got to thinking today about the lame stuff my school censors. The word God
|
|
is banned from the school play. I wasn't allowed to be video-taped standing
|
|
in front of a urinal. We can't talk about anger or water.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why don't girls masturbate? Come on girls, there have to be a few of you
|
|
out there. So many reply, "That's disgusting." Nice attitude ladies. Do
|
|
riot grrrrrrrrrls masturbate?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Above rrrrrrrr copped from Mykel Board. Zine format copped from Mat Radio
|
|
Riot. Slick pick-up lines copped from AG#1. This whole thing's a cop-out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Born Against - Battle Hymns of the Race War 10"
|
|
if the 7" was a 9 and the LP was a 9.5, then this is a 8. Yummy stuff but
|
|
not enough. Overlong funny stuff on second side is a definite drawback.
|
|
Vermiform Records, P.O. Box 12065, Richmond, VA 23241
|
|
|
|
|
|
Copernicus - No Borderline CD
|
|
I got this free so I can't really put it down. It's melodramatic, philosoph-
|
|
ical spoken word over music. I kind of like it. Buy it if you like that
|
|
sort of thing.
|
|
$13, Nevermore, Inc., P.O. Box 170150, Brooklyn, NY 11217
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rancid LP
|
|
Do I even need to say that this rocks? Lovely, energetic pop punk and a
|
|
half.
|
|
Epitaph, 6201 Sunset Blvd. Suite 111, Hollywood, CA 90028
|
|
|
|
|
|
Life of Agony CD
|
|
We all change. LOA changed from a superb HC metal band to a really good me-
|
|
tal hc band. Overproduced vocals. muddy. the great songs come through
|
|
though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sex Dogee 7"
|
|
MRR could only think of one word--punk. That's spot on. Crappy anarko-punk
|
|
w/naive, sophomoric lyrics. DIY to a T.
|
|
Billy Records, P.O. Box 1007, Newark, DE 19715-1007
|
|
|
|
|
|
Fugazi - In On the Kill Taker LP\CD
|
|
you already have it so what's the use? really good. yabbayabba dingdong.
|
|
"cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-champion!"
|
|
$8, Dischord, 3819 Beecher St., N.W.D.C., 20007
|
|
|
|
|
|
Starkweather - Crossbearer LP
|
|
Metal-tinged and progressive. Deep lyrics and impressive vocals. yum
|
|
P.O. Box 11739, Philadelphia, PA 19101
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why can't anything just be an even dollar? Why 99, 95, 98? rrrrr stupid
|
|
sales people think they're fooling me!
|
|
|
|
|
|
i refuse to write about politics i refuse to write about politics i refuse
|
|
to write about politics (tell them about JFK) i refuse to write about poli-
|
|
tics
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
we got a grrrl gubner here in NJ now. I'm really surprised enough people
|
|
were naive enough to vote for her, but there wasn't much alternative.
|
|
|
|
|
|
When people go to vote there should be an essay on the ballot and they would
|
|
have to explain why they voted the way they did. That way all the idiots
|
|
who vote for someone because they are or are not a Democrat, Republican, wo-
|
|
man, draft dodger, inhaler and other crappy reasons wouldn't count.
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have a need to challenge myself, apparently, or maybe just a need to make
|
|
myself sick with worry. I did the first issue alone and got a great response.
|
|
The second issue had a different format and lots of contributors. I held
|
|
my breath. Response was still positive. Now I come to yet another different
|
|
format and a different style and I am worrying myself sick.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kill the Robot #5
|
|
The format is scary--solid, unyielding blocks of text. The content is inter-
|
|
esting--homo posicore rants and raves. Thoughtful and intelligent.
|
|
$1, 13605 Glenhurst Rd., Gaithersburg, MD 20878
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cheese Log #5
|
|
Feminist grrrl style, cutesy and fun. Introspection and hair dying tips.
|
|
P.O. Box 802, Fairport, NY 14450
|
|
|
|
|
|
NAFTA this and NAFTA that. Lets get to the real deal. Who does Ross Perot's
|
|
hair?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
At this point in my life. I firmly believe that Lee Harvey Oswald was the
|
|
lone assassin of JFK. Maybe I'll write about it next ish. Does anyone care?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Say Anything was a good movie. Its odd how events converge to bring this to
|
|
mind. All of a sudden its everywhere. Kind of like a big word you've never
|
|
heard.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Censorship is not my deal. Some people get so worked up over it, but I could
|
|
care less. It seems so obvious. Real live censorship is hard to come by
|
|
around here so why get all frothy? Stickers on CDs are no big deal. More
|
|
disturbing is the omission in the mass media of significant alter-native
|
|
viewpoints. That's not censorship, because its never even CONSIDERED.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Los Crudos - La Rabia Nubla Nuestros Ojos 7"
|
|
Spanish hardcore punk--fast and angry. They thrash it out with the best of
|
|
them. Better.
|
|
$3, Martin, 2340 W. 24th St., Chicago, IL 60608
|
|
|
|
|
|
Where are they now?
|
|
Warrant, Scorpions, Stryper, Winger, Whitesnake, Motley Crue(i.e. 80's hair
|
|
bands).
|
|
|
|
|
|
Next Step Up - Heavy LP
|
|
Yes, it's heavy, but it's also slow, boring and predictable, with lousy
|
|
lyrics and annoying vocals.
|
|
$6, Endgame, 11902 Lanner Place, Laurel, MD 20708
|
|
|
|
|
|
Cut him in half and count the rings.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Look at my eyes. Look at my eyes. What do you want from me. Do you want
|
|
me to be your toy? Your tool? I won't be manipulated.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Letterman is a very funny guy. That's what they pay him for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Walk up to him and say, "You're funny. You should be a comedian." Say it
|
|
again. And again. And again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why are the most charming people always the racist, sexist, homophobic bas-
|
|
tards?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It's less fattening AND it sticks to your bones. Something for the lions to
|
|
eat.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Out Of Line demo
|
|
I was going to listen to this one last time for review and my stereo ate it.
|
|
Sorry guys. It was pretty good, though. Over-tweeked vocals and electronic
|
|
drums. Hardcore.
|
|
718 Lamp Post Lane, Aston, PA 19014
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sty Zine #14
|
|
Cute little backwards zine w/nice stories and thoughts and skating.
|
|
2 stamps, 5021 Central, Indianapolis, IN 46205-1057
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dishwasher #11
|
|
How much can you write about dishwashing? A lot. Fascination reading from
|
|
a guy who wants to wash dishes in all 50 states.
|
|
$1, P.O. Box 4827, Arcata, CA 95521
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shoelace Fanzine #5
|
|
Always a fun read. Loads of reviews and a deranged letter from a Christian
|
|
punk. yum.
|
|
$1, P.O. Box 7952, Trenton, NJ 08628
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Corner Brokerage #10
|
|
A thoughtful one-pager from Mr. Bullshit. Interesting essays and non sequit-
|
|
ers.
|
|
SASE, c/o Mike, East Wind Community, Tecumsah, MO 65760
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Radio Riot #29
|
|
Always entertaining. This ish, Mat sits around.
|
|
SASE, 19 Union St., New Brunswick, NJ 08901
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Slapshot - Blast Furnace CD
|
|
At first, I was bothered by the lyrics, "so suck on my dick right now!", but
|
|
it turns out that the song is about spousal abuse, so I guess that's OK.
|
|
Overall, it's post-sxe metal-core.
|
|
We Bite America, P.O. Box 10172, Chicago, IL 60610-0172
|
|
|
|
|
|
This has been fat nipples #3. If you send me a self-addressed stamped en-
|
|
velope, you may have it on a piece of paper. Issues one and two are also
|
|
available through the computer or on paper. Data versions - e-mail me at:
|
|
chris.conway@njcc.wisdom.bubble.org
|
|
Paper versions - #1 is $1 and 2 stamps. #2 is $1 and 3 stamps. snail mail
|
|
to:
|
|
Fat Nipples
|
|
c/o Chris
|
|
P.O. Box 2554
|
|
Trenton, NJ 08690
|
|
|