59 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
59 lines
2.6 KiB
Plaintext
+--- ----------- - --------------------------- - - ---------+
|
|
|
|
dumb issue number 002.
|
|
|
|
"my dream date." by, belial
|
|
|
|
+--- ----------- - --------------------------- - - ---------+
|
|
|
|
look; a second issue of dumb. do you want to hear something funny,
|
|
i got a 90 on this assignment in my creative writing class. unbelievable.
|
|
as if you didn't guess, i don't trust that teacher in giving grades out
|
|
anymore. read this, and then say '90'.
|
|
|
|
belial - icky.
|
|
|
|
+--- ----------- - --------------------------- - - ---------+
|
|
|
|
to begin the evening, i would find the dirtiest, most disgusting
|
|
whore in america, and ask her on a date. of course this would cost me a
|
|
little but hey, its my dream date.
|
|
|
|
next i would search far and wide for a fine and _proper_ woman. a
|
|
real woman of the 90's. a woman who has high moral values and a keen sense
|
|
of herself. a leader of women. mind you, i would make this date on the
|
|
same night as my date with the whore.
|
|
|
|
now the fun begins. i would introduce the two to each other. then i
|
|
would let them wrestle, but not wrestle just anywhere. no, they are going
|
|
to be wrestling in a special place. a vat of burning oil. when the skin
|
|
begins to melt from their bodies, i would jump in the vat myself (in my
|
|
profalactic suit of course!). as their cries of terror and enroaching doom
|
|
rent the night i would begin beating on them, moshing all over them. all
|
|
the while yelling at the top of my lungs.
|
|
|
|
"can't talk? what's wrong? no teeth. awe, you stupid bitch!"
|
|
|
|
if either of them made any whimper or sound, i would stomp on their
|
|
skulls. laughing, i would raise my hands towards the sky, and watch as
|
|
suddenly great strips of gummie worms exploded from my open palms, attaching
|
|
to the two women. the women would scream as gummie goodness devoured their
|
|
flesh.
|
|
|
|
"hey sweety." i would laugh, congratulating myself on my great pun.
|
|
|
|
when all the worms were out i would walk over to the whore and open
|
|
my mouth to let a barrage of sour patch kids swarm into her face.
|
|
|
|
"hahah."
|
|
|
|
"i am the pumpkin king!"
|
|
|
|
then i would squat on miss proper's foot and let loose the doodoo of
|
|
the earth, orange and complete with seeds.
|
|
|
|
and this my friends is my dream date.
|
|
|
|
+--- ----------- - --------------------------- - - ---------+
|
|
|