143 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
143 lines
6.8 KiB
Plaintext
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ ////////////////////////////////
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\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\' //////////////// .ao0.//////////
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\\\\\\ YOOOOO000b.\\\\\ YOOOOO00000@@@@@//// dOO000@////////
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\\\\\ YOOO0000@@@b\\\' YOOO00000@@@@@P// dOOO000@D//////
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\\\\ OO0000@@@@@b' / OO000P///////// dOOO000@P/////
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\\ O000P'\Y@@@@D/// O0000q///////// OO000@P/////
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' 0000\\\\Y@@@D/// 00000@@@@@////// 000@@@@q/
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Editor: 0000Q\'d@@@@D/// 0000@@@@@P//////// @@@@@@@.
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Access Denied 000@@@@@@@@P'/// 000@@P//////////// .d@@@@@D X Marks The
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d00@@@@@@@P'//// d00@@@a///////// d@@@@@@@@@' Shit
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d00@@@@@@P'///// d00@@@@@@//////// @@@@@@@@'
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///////////////////////////////\ Y@@@@'
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D a m n e d F u c k i n g S h i t
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- Presents -
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Issue #57
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Date: 5/30/96
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Title: The Adventures of Spudboy
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Author: Cerebral Neurosis
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-= The Adventures Of Spudboy =-
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by cerebral neurosis
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name: spudboy
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occupation: defender of the zer0-d4y
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age:unknown
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sex:yes
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height:3"
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weight:hey.. thats personal
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spudboy comes to town
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long long ago, in a galaxy far, far, far, far, far, FAR away, was
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the planet R4Z0R 9ii... Unbeknownst to most earth peoples, this was the
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home of the incredible potatoesach race. These beings were highly intelligent
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and were very loving. one day, while listening to their favorite radio
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station, K-R4D, the picked up some interplanetary linenoise. "Help."
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"our zer0 d4y w4r3zZz are becoming old and maggot infested. help". Spudboy,
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upon hearing this, lept to his feet.
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"Have no fear, Spudboy, defender of the zer0 d4y will rescue those"
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and this is how Spudboy got here to earth...
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upon arriving on earth, spudboy raced out and bought a brandspanking new
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laptop and a nifty 28.8k z00m modem.. he immediatly called the k-radest
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0day board in the U.S. and engaged in a chat with the mighty sysop.
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SB: what seems to be your problem
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Mr. 0d4y: it seems we have run out of zer0d4y w4r3zZZzZz.. we all have
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nothing to do.. <sob>
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SB: oh.. well.. where do you get your zer0d4y w4r3ZzzZz from?
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Mr. 0d4y: from a group called Midnite Mastrubators. they used to give us
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the most zer0d4y w4r3zZzz in the w0rld.. now all we get is a
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FILE_ID.DiZ stating that there will be no more 0d4y forever!
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please find out why.
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SB: yessireediddlydoo! right away..
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Mr. 0d4y: oh thank you.. here.. take this 1043208day-old-rewritten-43 times
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tfile on how to make a spudgun. you'll need it, i think.. you
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never know..
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<XMODEM transfer begins>
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SB: thankyou... laters! and may your warez never grow old#@
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Mr. 0d4y: ..i don't HAVE any warez.. that's why we called YOU!
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SB: oh.. yea.. well, fuck you then..
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Mr. 0d4y: l8z
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<click>
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NO CARRIER
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so our hero reads the gnewest t-file on how to make a spudgun..
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"says here, i should take this nastatechysaurusayterthing and stick in
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the potatoes and - WHAT?!? i'm not doing that! That is known to make me have a
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terrible case of ga-" a suden burst of gas shoots out of spudboy's rear side.
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unfortunalty, our hero was standing next to a running blowtorch!
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"YEOW*@&&^#*@" spudboy exclaimed as his fart turned into a gigantic
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blue flame extending from the center of his butt. Even more unfortunatly,
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spudboys butt was right above a big bottle of nitroglycerin, which he had
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planned to use with his spudgun. Spudboy looks and sees all too late the
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horrible event that will transform his body into new and exciting shapes!
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"uh oh.." spudboy groans..
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<B00M!!!>
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our hero is blasted off into the sky.. all the way to.. Cloud 9!! oh my!
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our hero has certainly taken a turn for the worse.. or has he? Stay tuned
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for further episodes on the next "Spudboy: Protector of the ZeroDay"
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scene from the next "Spudboy" ________
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____________________ __________ | \
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|this looks odd.. i | | 0 day | | |\
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______ |better check it out | | wares | | | \
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\|/ / 00 |\|/ \__________________/ | storage | | | |
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\| o /_/ __/ |__________| | O | |
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|\ < | | | |
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| | | | | O |
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....\_____/...oooOO00oOOo........o0o0......oOOo.......|>ioU>O......o.| | |
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/__ \/ . : \ | |
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ooo ;: : :: \| |
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: : \ |
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\|
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Find DFS On These Fine Systems (When they're up...)
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==========================================================================
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| Paradise Lost +1.414.476.3181 DFS World HQ |
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| Temporary Insanity +1.414.666.W00T DFS Affiliate HQ |
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| Arcane Asylum +1.414.PSY.CHOS DFS Thingy HQ |
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| |
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| FTP - etext.archive.umich.edu - /pub/Zines/DFS |
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| HTTP - http://www.execpc.com/~adenied
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| See, it's like this. I don't call out, so I don't know if any of my |
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| distros are still up. So they're all GONE! If you want to be a site |
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| mail Access Denied at adenied@execpc.com or call Paradise Lost. |
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| ASCII Art by Incarnate |
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| To submit, call Paradise Lost and log on as DFS. The password is: |
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| JINGLE JINGLE |
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==========================================================================
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