60 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
60 lines
3.6 KiB
Plaintext
______________________________________________________________________________
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T ||==\\ || || ||==\\ ||==|| || || B L E N D E R C O R P O R A T I O N
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|| || || || || || || \\ // ------------------------------------
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H || || || || ||==// ||=|| >|< >>> Presents <<<
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|| || || || || \\ || // \\ DISCOFUN.DBC
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E ||==// \\==// || \\ ||==|| || || #005-AA04 -- [05/27/91]
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______________________________________________________________________________
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"Disco Can Be Fun"
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-------------------
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by Aldebaran Arghat
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It was a rainy May evening, and little Herman Jocko was at home alone.
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Under normal circumstances, Herman would be hunched in front of his Apple
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II+, his 300 baud modem blazing away. But to his horror, his father, Mr.
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Jeffers Jocko had taken away little Herman's computer until he "got a life".
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But little Herman, although he was almost 14, had never been with other
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people outside of school, and because of that, had no idea what it means to
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have fun. So, desperate for some ideas on how to get a life(and how to get
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his computer back), little Herman opened The Closet, in search of his
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father's memerobilia from "the good old days", hoping to learn how to become
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a social animal like his father. Little Herman opened the closet, revealing
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a huge wardrobe of the most wonderful clothes Herman had ever seen!
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"K-K00l! Look at all this polyester!" Herman dug further into the
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closet, and soon came upon the greatest treasure of the closet: a large
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carboard box filled with old records and photographs! Flipping through the
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records, Herman found his father's last album he recorded... in 1979! 'J.
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Jocko, Thats the Song!'. On the cover was his dear father, J. Jocko, wearing
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bellbottoms and a multicolored polyester shirt, dancing in a dark disco club.
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"Golly gee whiz, wouldn't it be k-k00l if I could be like him?" thought
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little Herman as he rose, and took a white polyester leisure suit from the
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closet. Wet with excitement, Herman savagely tore off his knickers and
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slipped the suit over his Superman Underoos. "Now I'm as k00l as daddy!
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Yay! Now I can be a hep cat! A k00l d00d! A social savage! A groovy stud!
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I'm gonna paint the town! Yeah!"
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Little Herman slipped on a pair of brown leather elevator shoes and
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stepped outside into the city streets. "Yay! I'm k00l now!" shouted Herman,
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and he began the long journey to the local nightclub. But as Herman rounded
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the corner, he was confronted by a tall, muscular bald man with a big lead
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pipe.
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"Hey d00d! Whatz up? I'm goin' down to The Thrash Pad to get down and
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boogie! Care to join me?" asked Herman.
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"What de fuck? You've gotta be shittin' me! Look at this fucker!
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You've gotta be the funniest lookin' bastard I'ze evah eyeballed! Cut this
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shit... you're gone!"
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Wham! With a few swift blows, Herman was nothing more than a pile of
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broken bones and ripped flesh wrapped in polyester. The end.
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Now that I've wasted enough of your time, I shall end this file. But
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let this be a lesson to anyone considering a nationwide disco revival...
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______________________________________________________________________________
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(C)1991 by The Durex Blender Corporation & Aldebaran Arghat
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All Rights Revered. Even yours.
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*** Spread the word of Turnex, the Blender for the Next Millenium. ***
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The Durex Blender Corporation : Boston (617) 696-8156 - 24oo/8N1 - 24 hours
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