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BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News
COPYRIGHT 1991 ISSN 1055-4548
August 1991 Volume 4, Issue 8
Table Of Contents
-----------------
Article Title Author
Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
Publisher's Corner.............................Mark Maisel
Editorial......................................Chris Mohney
DOS 5.0 and Product Launch.....................Eric Rintell
Spring COMDEX 1991.............................Raymond Hugh
Is "New" Really Better?........................Dr. Strangelove
Introducing ADANet.............................Bill Freeman
BBS Reviews....................................Bryan Taylor
The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind & Herbert...Jeremy Lewis
Review: Ultra BBS v2.03.......................Doogie Houser
Windows Review: Notebook v1.6.................Eric Hunt
Why Do We Need Standardization?................Lurch Henson
Notes From The Trenches........................Dean Costello
ProFile: Robert Broome........................Chris Mohney
Colby's Summer Excitement......................Colby Gibson
Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden
Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN
We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for damage
due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its
editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
of such damages occurring.
With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their
work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles
from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a
reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles,
please forward a copy of your publication to:
Mark Maisel
Editor, BTN
221 Chestnut St.
BHM, AL 35210-3219
(205)-956-0176
We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
all of this and not get too serious about it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T !
The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
charge to any existing upload/download ratios.
The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego
Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle
Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS
The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus
The Outer Limits Bloom County The Round Table
DC Info Exchange Radio Free Troad Programmers Shack
Amiga Alliance ][ DataLynx Martyrdom Again?!
Arkham Asylum
If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
me know via EZNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
distributor. Thanks. MM
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
N E W S F L A S H
It is that time again! I am having another lapse of sensibility and
inviting you all into my home. Please try to leave it in some
semblence of the state in which you found it. Be aware of the rules
below and observe them.
Anyway, back to the invitation: the party will be:
Where: Mark Maisel's House a map will follow this
221 Chestnut Street invitation
205-956-0176
When: August 17, 1991
6:00 p.m. until it ends
Rules: Don't bring anything that will get you or me arrested.
If you wish to imbibe legal substances, then BYOS*.
Use discretion and intelligence when parking. The police may
not be so nice next time. The front yard is not for parking.
We have gone to great expense to shape it into its present form.
The side yards in front of the hedge, to the left of the drive,
is fair game though.
No weapons of any kind are desired or will be tolerated. If
you feel the need for them near you, leave them in the vehicle
in which you came. That is as close as they need come to my
home.
*Bring Your Own Substances
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
M o n t c l a i r - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
Bruno's<>O<EFBFBD> Texaco : McDonalds<64> <20> apartments<74> <20> dead<61> THERE WILL BE
Super <20>p<EFBFBD> : <20> <20> & <20> <20> end <20> A SIGN IN FRONT
Market <20>o<EFBFBD><6F><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20> houses <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ĵ OF THE HOUSE SO
<20>r<EFBFBD><72><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20> YOU CAN FIND IT
<20>t<EFBFBD>Express : office <20> <20> <20> <20> EASIER!!!
<20>o<EFBFBD>Oil Change: bldgs <20> <20> <20> <20>
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
M o n t e v a l l o - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *TO INTERSTATE*
<EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
<20>R<EFBFBD> <20>R<EFBFBD> INSTRUCTIONS!!! <20>A<EFBFBD> <20>B<EFBFBD>Wes-<2D>C<EFBFBD> <20>D<EFBFBD> <20>E<EFBFBD>
<20>o<EFBFBD> <20>e<EFBFBD> <20>l<EFBFBD> <20>u<EFBFBD>lyan<61>h<EFBFBD> <20>a<EFBFBD> <20>l<EFBFBD>
<20>s<EFBFBD> <20>d<EFBFBD> Look on Chestnut <20>p<EFBFBD> <20>s<EFBFBD>Chu-<2D>e<EFBFBD> <20>l<EFBFBD> <20>d<EFBFBD>
<20>e<EFBFBD> <20>w<EFBFBD> after Shades and <20>i<EFBFBD> <20>h<EFBFBD>rch <20>s<EFBFBD> <20>y<EFBFBD> <20>e<EFBFBD>
<20>w<EFBFBD> <20>o<EFBFBD> my home is 221, <20>n<EFBFBD><6E><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>t<EFBFBD><74><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD> <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>r<EFBFBD><72><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
<20>o<EFBFBD> <20>o<EFBFBD> the 3rd house <20>e n S h a d e s
<20>o<EFBFBD> <20>d<EFBFBD> on the left. Call <20> <20><>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>Ŀu <20><><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD>Ŀ <20><><EFBFBD><EFBFBD><EFBFBD>
<20>d<EFBFBD> <20> <20> 956-0176 if you <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>t <20>3rd<72> <20> <20> <20>
<20> <20> <20> <20> need further <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>one<6E> <20> <20> <20>
<20> <20> <20> <20> direction. <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
<20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20> <20>
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Publisher's Corner
by Mark Maisel
I've got nothing to say, really. I've been especially busy with
the PTA, the Birmingham Board of Education, and working to get the
property tax renewals passed. It hasn't left me with much time for
anything else. Look for some excitement to come though since I don't
plan to maintain this pace for much longer. Fun is what I live for and
I am not getting as much as I'd like right now. I'm sure that the party
will do wonders to change this situation. I had a grand time keeping
RayHugh from molesting Tiffany Griffin. I'm just sorry that couldn't
have gone on longer. Oh well, such is life. I'll see ya'll at the
party. Enjoy the issue!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Editorial
by Chris Mohney
Well, it's about fiteen minutes to three AM. Rambling personal pieces
seem to be all the rage lately, so I think I'll pop one in. Kind of an
inauspicous debut for my first "serious" article contribution. After
all the half-baked ideas I've gotten but never written for BTN, it's
amazing I'm bothering to follow up on this one.
First, I wonder if I should stick to paragraph form. I just started a
new one, but I wonder if I'll bother to indent .... it would look
better, and probably have more effect. Yeah, guess I better do that.
Interesting how I'm reverting to my colloquial BBS form of speech here.
In other circumstances my writing is usually pretty formal. More on
that later.
OK, Margins On. Now, before I really get into this, should I
attempt a Style? It would be nice to have one but I don't know if I can
maintain an artificial one throughout this piece. I mean, I can
bullshit my way through a term paper on any subject, but I might get
into some personal material here and I imagine any facade I erected
would evaporate. There's the kind of general Zippy the Pinhead happy-
go-luck BBS persona that a lot of folks adopt in these articles.
There's Mark's smugness, or Dean's self-congratulatory idiom pieces.
Neither of those really appeal. I suppose I'll just work it out.
Well, I should probably stop muttering about all of this
incidental crap and get on with it. The basic Meat of the Issue is that
I've been having these depression spells, usually late Sunday nights.
Most entail wandering about the house, occasionally looking at what
passes for television late Sunday, and listening to melancholy music
while looking out at the dark sky. Melancholy is really a better word
for these events; depression conjures up images of wrist-slitting and
causal events. I really can't put a finger on a lot of this, but I
would wager that the main reason for this experience is loneliness.
Now, by that I don't mean physical companionship; more like a confluence
of personality. I know people who could fill this apparent need.
However, circumstances have conspired to keep me closeted away.
Tonight, something especially bizarre happened. I was out on my
back porch, petting our cat. I had a pen-flashlight with me; earlier I
had been examining some ant trails in the yard. Anyway, I had the
flashlight pointed up at the sky while petting the cat, and I was idly
clicking it on and off. I realized I was flashing it "S.O.S" in Morse
code ... sort of a plea for celestial help, I suppose. Regardless, this
had only been going on a minute or two when I heard a loud thud and
crash behind me. After rocketing across the porch (in the wake of the
cat), I stumbled to a stop and looked behind me.
There was a bat on the roof. Apparently it had crashed into
the shingles and rolled down the incline into the gutter. I could just
barely see it, fluttering around and banging against the metal. I suppose
had been attracted to the light, and had now stunned itself. Was this the
answer to my plea for celestial help? Disappointing.
I sincerely hope this isn't beginning to sound whiny. All of
the above is more a symptom than a disease. Factors which have bearing
on this situation are my economic dependence on my parents, and the fact
that I'm twenty years old. Not yet of drinking age, there are places I
am not allowed to go, a whole subculture that I cannot legally partake
of. It's frustrating. Even on the occasions when I have gone into
such places incognito, there was always an underlying annoyance with the
fact that I was not Supposed To Be There. That's certainly one avenue
for potential human contact that is closed to me, at least for a few
more months.
Another thing is that I'm a frustrated writer. I would rather
be frustrated at anything else than writing if at all possible.
Unfortunately, I have the disease. I will continue to scribble even if
I never get published, even if I'm scrawling prose on the back of bar
napkins (when I can finally enter such Nirvanas, as my current fixation
apparently runs). I've been circulating three pieces now for a couple
years, all three have received praise from many associates and even a
couple published (read: godlike) writers. I've sent them to magazines
that publish far inferior tripe, and I say that without the slightest
bit of hubris. And to show for it, I have an impressive collection of
every species of rejection slip. I think I've got most of this game
figured out, though. Persistence is a big part of it; everyone knows
the story of the great writer who is published only after years of
anonymity, or posthumously. Another thing, especially in the
speculative fiction trade, is Newness. Your idea doesn't have to be
sound, or particularly interesting, as long as it's New. Cliche is the
only dirty word in fiction these days, unless you have an audience for
a particular cliche.
I fervently wish it was possible to make many at poetry. I can
grind out poetry, and I'm beginning to suspect I'm a better poet than
fiction writer. That would be annoying, because I'd much rather succeed
at the latter; of course, I can't be choosy, presently succeeding at
neither. I've never submitted much if any poetry, though. One poem of
mine was going to be published by a Birmingham literary magazine, but
apparently the magazine went under as the first issue never came out and
the office isn't returning our (meaning a few of the contributors)
calls.
For example, let me pop in one of my poems, submitted for your
approval as Mr. Serling would say:
Claymation Cow in a Cartoon Slaughterhouse
Invisible Hands mold me onward, down
I moo and grunt as the frame advances
Mashed against my brethren kine
My cardboard hooves clop nervous dances
The railing dents my doughy hide
An errant horn plucks out my eye
The Animator restores my form
I cannot live so cannot die
Another frame, another step
We near the point of the gilded funnel
There is no mercy in the shearing blade
No light in the end of the endless tunnel
The rails make us trudge in single file
Under a blackened rat, ax raised in glee
While his 2-D friends rejoice his name
"Emm-eye-see, kay-ee-why, bee-ell-oh-oh-dee!"
Now admittedly, this one is a little silly and/or nonsensical. Still,
it holds some affection for me. Perhaps a more traditional offering,
this being my Letting Go poem:
Leavetaking
I walked in the meadows yesterday
Wandering for a time in the tall grasses
Reeds whipping my legs, I ran
azure and emerald fields embraced at the horizon
I stopped, laughed
and from the concealment of splendid solitude
a memory-serpent of you struck at my vulnerable heel
I stumbled, turned
limping as I searched, cautiously parting the rough stalks
Until I saw the serpent, and caught it up unawares
Held helpless, my hand about its neck, it struggled
I looked closely - sunlight played over its mottled back
each tiny scale shadow-casting
My numbing leg twitched, convulsed, grew still
a brief agony, followed by a peculiar warmth
as that imperfect, wonderful poison faded away
I breathed deeply, grasped the serpent more firmly, and wondered
how much of pleasure is merely the cessation of pain
At last, a pine-scented wind blew the grassy tides
I stared into the serpent's glassy eyes, slitted against the sun
and chuckling, kissed it on snaky lips, to taste again that sweet
venom
Casting the creature away, bidding fond farewell to its vanishing
tail
I ran off once more into the shimmering fields
in search of other serpents
This one I liked too, especially the line
each tiny scale shadow-casting
Plus, the image of kissing the snake was something that did it for me.
I've seen it translate well to some people; other people are mystified,
and still others are just repulsed at the thought of kissing a snake.
Incidentally, if anyone plagarizes my above poems and gets money or
becomes famous as a result, my vengeful spirit will haunt you forever.
Now see, this stuff could be publishable, I don't know. It
couldn't hurt to try. I suppose I need to look into poetry markets and
see which would be most appropriate.
I definitely need to write more fiction, though. My last
attempt I left stillborn, mostly because I realized it would require a
novel-length treatment. Writing a novel intimidates me; for some
reason, it seems presumptous on my part to write a novel when I haven't
even published a short story. Again though, what have I to lose?
I'm transferring to the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa this
fall, from UAB. Believe it or not, they have an excellent English
program down there. I'm a lapsed Auburn fan, but I imagine I will not
pay much attention to football while there. Originally, I was planning
to get a computer science degree from UAB, but that ended quickly if
painfully as I rediscovered I have no interest and less talent for all
things mathematical. It will be nice to be out of my parents' house, if
for nothing else that my comings and goings will not be monitored; I can
do as I please now, but still there is that lurking cloud of disapproval
back there. It will be refreshing to not have that around. Also, I
intend to start refreshing accquantainces and establishing new contacts
with some more people with temperaments similair to myself.
Well, writing this seems to have been slightly therapeutic,
anyway. This Sunday's melancholy is largely exorcised. The question
remains, though; do I give this to Mark or not? Reading back, it
doesn't appear to be very interesting or comedic. But then, there's a
een a lot of off-center stuff published lately in BTN. Still
different .... not one of Dean's cynical letters from home, nor Colby's
inexplicable Day in the Life; mostly disjointed introspection, with a
little of the real world thrown in to ground it. As much as it can be
grounded.
After looking back at it again, I think I'll send it to Mark.
Who knows, he might not even accept it. If it does go in, perhaps it
will inspire some comment. It be really annoying if I went and spilled
my guts and everyone just yawned and went to that C article or whatever
else is in this issue.
Perhaps more later. (next Sunday?)
Editor's Note: The squid finally got published. Shortly after
he submitted this article, he found some dupe, I
mean editor, who actually paid the incredible sum
of one-half cent per word. YAY. MM
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
DOS 5.0 and Product Launch
by Eric M. Rintell
On 11 June 1991, Microsoft launched the most significant upgrade to
its MS-DOS operating system since MS-DOS 2.0. The product is MS-DOS
version 5.0, available now in upgrade form from retailers and Microsoft
itself. The cost to upgrade from any previous version of DOS is $99.95
retail, although it is available for less through dealers and mail order
houses. If your machine does not boot with a previous version of DOS,
do not purchase the MS-DOS upgrade as you will not be able to install it
(since it is not bootable).
DOS 5.0 includes many new features, including better memory
management for 286 and higher CPUs, enhanced support for hard disks
greater than 32 megabytes, a task switcher, an undelete utility, a
redesigned DOS shell and on-line help. In order to make sure that all
of the new features work, Microsoft had outside testers working with the
product for over a year. It was the largest beta test in the history of
microcomputer software, with over 7,000 test sites around the world.
Each test site was required to use DOS 5.0 for daily work, and to test
it with thousands of different PCs, hard disk managers and controllers,
memory managers, video cards and software applications. In addition to
the new features, Microsoft wanted to insure that older software would
continue to work with DOS 5.0. If a software driver did not work with
DOS 5.0 (for example: Novell's NET3.COM), Microsoft would include a new
version of the software driver in the DOS 5 upgrade package (NET5.COM
for DOS 5).
One of the nice benefits of this upgrade will be a uniform DOS on
machines of different makes. This will be a great advantage for Novell
network administrators, as they will no longer be required to store a
version of DOS for each vendor's machine on the network. Because
Microsoft is selling MS-DOS 5.0 directly to end users, it will be the
first version of DOS to receive free support directly from Microsoft.
Although Microsoft sells an upgrade package, it will not sell an end
user (bootable) version directly to end users. As in the past, complete
DOS packages will be available only when purchasing a new machine from
OEMs. If you have an OEM version of DOS that exploits specific hardware
features (ie, Toshiba DOS, Compaq DOS, etc.) you have the option of
using Microsoft's generic DOS upgrade or waiting for your vendor to
release its own DOS 5 upgrade.
As a beta tester of DOS 5 since August 1990, I have spent countless
hours with the operating system. One of the goals of Microsoft DOS 5.0
was to use less memory then its predecessor, introducing memory
management for owners of PCs with a '286 chip or higher. Under PC-DOS
4.0, I had 550K of memory available for my applications. With DOS 5.0,
I have over 610K available in conventional memory. DOS 5.0 accomplishes
this by actually moving most of the DOS operating system kernel into the
High Memory Area(HMA) on 286/386/486 machines with at least a megabyte
of RAM. HMA is the area of memory "discovered" as a fluke of the Intel
80286 address lines: it is the 64K memory block beginning at 1024K. By
loading HIMEM.SYS in your CONFIG.SYS file, HMA is available for DOS and
your device drivers. To place DOS in the HMA, add the line "DOS=High"
in your CONFIG.SYS (after the "Device=HIMEM.SYS" line). You can place
your buffers, ANSI.SYS, RAMDRIVE.SYS and other drivers in the HMA to
free up more conventional memory. If you should need more then the 64K
available in HMA on a 386/486 machine, you can load DOS 5's new
EMM386.EXE memory manager. EMM386.EXE lets you place DOS programs in
the region from 640K to 1024K on your PC (which is called Upper Memory
Blocks, since it is used by video cards, BASIC, had disk controllers,
etc.). By using the new memory management techniques included with DOS
5, it is possible to achieve 620K of conventional memory without the use
of a third party memory manager like QEMM or 386MAX (you can even load
programs into UMBs with the LOADHIGH command). The only drawback is
that DOS 5 will not optimize the memory on your system; you will have to
do it manually by experimenting with your CONFIG.SYS and AUTOEXEC.BAT
files. If you own a memory management program like QEMM or 386MAX, you
should upgrade to the DOS 5 compatible versions so they can optimize DOS
5 for your computer.
For those who hate the infamous "C:>" prompt, DOS 5 introduces a
redesigned DOS shell. The shell includes file management, and the
ability to run other programs. When another program is launched from the
DOS shell, most of the shell vacates conventional memory. When the user
exits the application, the DOS shell is automatically reloaded.
Microsoft took the task switcher from their Windows product and put it
into the DOS shell. The task switcher lets users load several
applications at once, although only one application is active. Windows
and the DOS shell share the same keystrokes to switch between
applications. In order to utilize the task switcher, you must check off
the "Enable Task Switcher" item in the Options dropdown menu. The task
switcher should be used with a 286 (or better) with a fast hard disk
since the applications are saved on hard disk while they are "asleep"
(inactive). The file management section of DOS shell lets you copy and
move files/subdirectories across hard disks and floppies with a mouse.
In summation, the DOS shell combines Windows 3.0's Program Manager and
File Manager in one easy to use shell.
While on the subject of file management, DOS 5 includes the
abilities to unerase deleted files. Under a cross-licensing agreement
with Central Point Software, DOS 5 includes PC Tools' Mirror, Unerase
and Unformat utilities. The Mirror program is a RAM-resident program
that automatically loads itself in HMA (if space is available) and will
keep track of deleted files. Unerase and Unformat will use Mirror's
tracking information to respectively recover lost files and accidentally
formatted diskettes. DOS 5 also includes support for hard disk
partitions up to 2 gigabytes. Unlike DOS 4.0, SHARE does not have to be
loaded for hard disk partitions greater then 32 megabytes. Be careful
when installing the upgrade on hard disk partitions that use a third
party disk manager like DMDVR.BIN; the DOS 5 upgrade includes upgraded
drivers for some of the more popular third party disk managers.
Although DOS 5 will support large hard disk partitions, it will not work
with hard disks with more than 1024 cylinders. The 1024 restriction is
due to the AT BIOS, not DOS; however, many hard disk vendors manufacture
hard disk controllers that re-map the hard disk cylinders so they will
work with DOS.
A quick overview of other DOS 5 enhancements: an on-line help
system is available for every DOS command. To use the help system, type
either "HELP <command>" or "<command>/?". In place of BASICA and
GW-BASIC, Microsoft includes a QuickBASIC interpreter with DOS 5. The
QBASIC interpreter brings structured BASIC to all DOS PCs. For users
who have hated DOS's EDLIN character based editor, will be happy to see
the full screen MS-DOS Editor included. The MS-DOS Editor is based on
the "Quick" editor included in Microsoft's series of Quick languages.
(In fact, the MS-DOS Editor is QBASIC in edit mode!) The DIRectory
command has been enhanced with several new options, including the
ability to search for files through different levels of subdirectories
(like a file find utility). DIRectory can sort files by size, date and
time, alphabetically and type of file. You can specify a default
DIRectory setting by setting an environment variable (DIRCMD) in your
AUTOEXEC.BAT. DOS 5 includes a new program called DOSKEY which allows
you to recall and edit commands you have already used. DOSKEY also
includes a macro facility so you can perform a series of tasks with one
command. For example, I like to sort my directories and list them; I
placed this series of commands in a DOSKEY macro called "sdir".
Whenever I need to sort my directories, I just type "sdir". If you
should have a problem running a program that is DOS-version specific
(ie, it will only run under DOS 3.3), DOS 5 includes the SETVER utility
so you can fool that program into thinking it is running under DOS 3.3.
Finally, DOS 5 includes support for the new 2.88 megabyte 3<> floppies
and a setup program to guide users through the installation of DOS 5.
Joe Rosenman and I were lucky enough to be invited by Microsoft to
the DOS 5 product launch in New York City. Microsoft rented a yacht for
the product launch, which was attended by the media, analysts, and
corporate users. Microsoft CEO Bill Gates and Vice-President Steve
Ballmer gave a presentation that was broadcast to over 8,000 sites
around the world. The product announcement began with a parody of the
television show "The Streets of San Francisco" called "The Streets of
Microsoft". The video was followed by a live hour long presentation by
Gates and Ballmer on DOS 5. Another video called "Take Five" featuring
jazz great Dave Brubeck was shown. It featured Brubeck talking about
the creation of his classic "Take Five" song, interposed with industry
executives speaking about the creation of DOS 5. After the video, Gates
and Ballmer answered questions from the New York audience. A humorous
moment occurred when an analyst asked Ballmer about Microsoft's "rocky"
relationship with IBM. Before Ballmer could answer, another boat pulled
in besides the yacht the DOS 5 presentation was on, and the yacht
"rocked". Those of us on the yacht began to laugh, but we were the only
ones who got the joke!
After the presentation, Microsoft treated all attendees to a cruise
around Manhattan and dinner. At the end of dinner, a live concert was
given by the Dave Brubeck quartet. As attendees left the boat, we were
all given a MS-DOS 5 tote bag which included a free copy of the DOS 5
Upgrade. Also included were a press kit, advance copies of PC MAGAZINE
and PC WORLD on DOS 5, and a commemorative compact disc of Dave
Brubeck's quartet performing "Take Five".
I hope this mini-review has whet your appetite for DOS 5. I agree
with Microsoft that no PC should be without it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Spring COMDEX 1991
by Raymond Hugh
This is not going to be an extensive listing of all the exhibits I
went to during Comdex. I sent that one to my supervisor, who, after
all, was the one who let me go on the trip. Besides, you would probably
be bored with some of the stuff I found, since they were work-related.
What I'm writing about is another impression-type thingie, kinda like
the one I wrote about Birmingham.
I was staying with Valeria Palmer (the Hostest with the Mostest),
and Mark and Kathy Maisel were there as well. We started on Tuesday,
since I arrived on Monday night. We met Harris Minter (of BBig'uns
fame), after waiting for about 20 minutes in a MARTA station for him.
Getting our badges was a breeze.....well, compared to the lines in
New York, it was a breeze. Actually, the line looked more like a cattle
line going to slaughter. By the time we're done, it's about 11:00. I'm
itching to go, and Harris' smug remark about there being no line at
WindowsWorld didn't help. In any case, we're finally ready to start!
We go through some pretty interesting exhibits. The Electrohome
exhibit was by far the most impressive one in the whole show: a video
camera, a VCR, a laser disc, and a PC, were hooked up to a projection
TV. The vendor gave us a demo of the setup. Tom Cruise (off the VCR)
in the upper left hand corner fighting it out with the fighter pilot
(off the laser disc) in the upper right hand corner. At one point he
had 16 tasks going on at the same time! He claimed he could run the
setup using a 286 class machine. All this for only $35,000. What a
bargain! When we finally cleaned up Mark's slobber, we left..
Lemme tell ya, the people at the show are so greedy!! You
should've seen these people grab for all this stuff the last day..but
I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, I don't think we saw anything else
the first day that was particularly striking like the Electrohome was.
We did stop at the USR booth, and Mark tried to schmooze the guy into
giving him a screwdriver. Kathy found out she couldn't get a discounted
modem for the second node until she has the node up.
One other event of note: we stopped at a disk manufacturer. There
was a display of 5<>" disks, 3<>" disks, and the little 2" disks, the same
kind that was in the Canon Xapshot digital camera Mark borrowed from
Kelly. Mark was pretty excited (as he always is) about the 2" disks,
and asked one of the guys behind the desk about it. The conversation
went something like:
Mark: "Oh, Ah didn't know these little diskettes are
available. How much are they?"
Dealer: "They're not available in the US yet."
Me: "Then why are you displaying them? Are you using
them as a conversation piece."
Dealer: "Yeah, something like that."
What can I say? Apparently, the strategy worked..
After a long night with the ByteBrethren (which is another story),
we get up a teensy bit late the next day, and could only spend about
half a day at Comdex. We met up with Harris and Valeria.
Of course we visited the Electrohome booth again. There were three
set-ups in the booth. Two of them were the ones with the video camera,
VCR, etc. The last one had a connectionless mouse. It looked liked the
kind of pointer you would see in school, i.e., long and pointed. We
lost Valeria once she saw it and the Solitaire game that was displayed..
We also stopped at a keyboard booth. It wasn't Omnikey. I think
it was Keytronics. In any case, we found all sorts of keyboards. There
were ones with a VT100 setup, ones with number pads on the right AND the
left, ones with no detachable keys, i.e., there were no openings in the
keyboard. There was even one with a phone connection! The one Mark
liked the most was the hot pink one, but we told him we were going to
get it for Richard.
The Ad Lib booth was interesting. I'm not that interested in
computer music, but Harris and Mark were completely taken by it. I must
say, though, the music WAS good. If I remember correctly, it was music
from a concert. I was glad to take a breather when Harris and Mark
decided to talk the salesman's ear off.
There was a booth that did thermal transfers onto T-shirts. I
wasn't there, but the way I heard it, the guy running the machine
couldn't get it to work, so Harris showed him how to do it. He also got
Valeria a free T-shirt.
We also stopped off at the Canon booth to look at the digital
cameras. There were a couple of Xapshots on display, one connected to a
PC, and one connected to a Macintosh. Since the guys at the booth were
busy with something else, we played around with the equipment. It looked
real nice. Mark also did some more drooling, this time over the higher
end model of the camera, which had better resolution, and which also
cost about 2<> times as much as the Xapshot. The vendor demonstrated the
resolution on the higher end model by zooming in on the lettering on
Mark's ByteBrothers hat (sorry, no jacket!). Then he compared it with
the same kind of shot done with the Xapshot, which couldn't display the
lettering.
The only other thing of note that happened was our running into
Eric Hunt. No, we didn't hurt him; we just roughed him up a bit. He did
promise to send me his sister, though.
That night we decided to use the guidebook and the map to plot out
the booths we want to visit, since it was the last day of the show. I'm
still not sure if it worked or not. There was another night of partying
and debauchery that can only be imagined.
The final day of Comdex was a long one. We actually got to the
center before it opened, and had to wait a few minutes. Since I had to
make believe I actually did some work on the trip (to justify the cost
of the company flying me down there), we decided to concentrate on
Windows applications (down, Mark!), and stayed the whole time at
WindowsWorld checking out all the goodies to be had.
We looked at WInvoice, which is a software program to track time
spent on a project. It also has a module to print out invoices, based
on time spent. I found an organization chart program (I forget what
derogatory name Mark had for it) that was perfect for something I was
doing at work. Then I found out it wasn't due to ship until the end of
NEXT (June) month! Sheesh, the nerve of some people!
Now comes the part where I tell you guys about the greediness of
some of these people. Kathy wanted a bit of a rest, and I wanted to
take a look at the laser printer, so we stopped at the LaserMaster
booth. They were having a demo where they wanted people to jump up and
shout "Win Printer!" (the name of the printer) every time they mentioned
the name. Then they would throw out a T-shirt to the audience. You
should have seen the way people jumped, and the way they ran over each
other trying to catch the shirts.
All I had to do (and Kathy can attest to this) was to sit in the
back, wave my hands every time everyone else was jumping up and down,
and mumble "Win Printer" under my breath. Lo and behold! One of the
T-shirts fell right into my lap. It was the most amazing thing. The
durn shirt just went right over all these people's outstretched hands
and FELL INTO MY LAP. I mean, how easy could this be? Oh yeah, I even
caught another one for Kathy.
Not only that, but at the end of the day, when I was walking around
waiting for Kathy and Mark to pick up the three Omnikey keyboards they
bought (and they got a real good deal on them, too), I was walking by
the same booth, and people were again running all over the place trying
to catch hardhats. What the heck are you going to do with a hardhat,
ferchrissake?
They also had these little thingamajigs that looked like little
magnifying glasses. I'm not sure what good they are, but I saw, and
this is not an exaggeration, either, one guy on HIS HANDS AND KNEES,
picking them up from where the vendor dropped them.
I shouldn't make too much fun of these people, though. I mean,
after all, I did go around trying to gather up as many 5<>" diskettes as
I could, since Valeria asked us to pick some up for her. Hey, Val, was
the final count again? I have forgotten.
In any case, that is more or less what happened at Comdex in
Hotlanta in 1991. Since I am writing this about 3 or 4 weeks after it
has taken place, I have forgotten some of the booths we visited, but I
have mentioned most of the interesting tuff that happened along the way.
I could also talk about PC Expo, but that is yet another story. I can't
wait until this fall for Las Vegas...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is "New" Really Better?
or, Opinions Are Like ..., never mind.
by Dr. Strangelove
How many times have you heard an advertisement touting something as
"new or improved"? Doesn't it make you wonder since these same people
have been bombarding you for so long with claims that their product was
the best, the cream of the crop? Obviously, since there was room for
improvement, there must have been a flaw somewhere. Or was there?
Take for example, my new car. The old one had served me well and
reliably for quite sometime but then it became apparent that it just
didn't have enough seating room for an instant family. You can only
pack so many sardines in a can, right? So we venture forth into the
dreaded world of the new car market. After much travel, looking,
comparing and haggling with obnoxious salesmen in the same K-Mart suits
(do they clone these suckers somewhere?), we finally found the car we
wanted. Nothing fancy, just good dependable transportation with all the
safety features and a few creature comforts thrown in for good measure.
But now I realize that if I could drop this baby from 5000 feet into a
swimming pool with a truckload of sugar I could have one hell of a
lemonade party. So as to keep from having auto dealers placing a bounty
on my head, I won't mention the make of the car. Just let me say
though, that I would like to shove Mr. Iacocca's head into a backed-up
toilet in Grand Central Station.
But let's move on. Another example might be SLMR. Version 1.0 was
nice and did most anything one could want. Then along came version
1.05. Great! This version added a few features, including the option
of configuring for personal upload directories. Now that's something I
can live with since I have been known to use an alias or two in my time
and it sure is a pain having to rename reply packets to keep from
overwriting them. But we're not through yet. Next, version 2.0 bursts
on the scene. This version has some good features too, like being able
to enter messages to boards without first downloading a .qwk packet.
Nice if you just thought of something you wanted to post and don't want
to forget it before you can log on to the board in question. But what
happened to the personal directories? There is no option for them in
the configuration utility and I'm still waiting for a reply from the
author. Oh well, I'm sure glad I didn't discard the previous version.
This brings us to our next item, MarkMail 2.0. Maybe I shouldn't
have said that so loud? It seemed that everything was cranking away
just fine with version 1.** and then, WHAM!, somebody comes along with
2.0 and everybody's got to have it. Many things missing in this version
that I liked in previous ones. And muddling through the configuration
is like playing football barefooted in a pasture. Don't step in
anything but keep your eye on the ball. Right. And maybe I shouldn't
even mention the numerous lock-ups it has caused on a few of our finer
boards. Or should I ... Monty, Randy?
And now, what you've all been waiting for ... drumroll, please ...
DOS 5.0!!!
Yeah, right, thrill me to death. And kill those drums, will ya.
The July issue of 'PC Computing' magazine proclaims this to be, and
I quote, "the DOS you've been waiting for". The DOS I'm waiting for, or
"on" would be more exact, is the one that takes forever and a damned day
to do something on my system. I know, stuck in XT purgatory. But what
can I say? Except maybe, "spare change"?
I'm going to take some of this article out of context in order to
weigh the pros and cons of DOS 5.0, so don't fly off the handle at me.
I really don't care anyway, so it won't do any good.
'PC Computing' lists 10 of the best and 10 of the worst things
about this new messiah of computing. Bear with me while I do a quick
summary.
The "BEST":
1. More memory. Okay, I'll buy that. But if you're running 8 meg
of RAM like some folks I know, does a few K mean that much?
2. Hot new command - DOSKEY. According to them it's a command
stacker and macro generator. So what's wrong with batch files?
3. Goof protection - undelete and unformat. Now where have I seen
these? Norton, maybe?
4. Online assistance. Oh yeah. Read more about this and you'll
find it's very easy to uninstall the whole shebang while trying
to get help.
5. Directory magic. Sort directories, etc., etc. Norton again.
6. Supposedly standardizes versions. I guess so. If everybody
drove a VW it would be a breeze to find parts.
7. Support for large hard disks. No more 32 MB limits. Come on,
give me a break folks.
8. New EDIT utility beats EDLIN hands down. When is the last time
you used EDLIN? Can you remember into "NEVER"?
9. Documentation and setup. Even they admit these are better than
before but could still be a whole lot better.
10. Versatility. Runs on everything from a 4.77 MHz PC to the
fastest 486. Well patch my drawers.
The "WORST":
1. Trial-and-error configuration. If you can configure this puppy
in one try and still have more hair than me, I'll buy you a shot
of tequila ... and six valiums. You'll need it.
2. Batch-file clumsiness. It hasn't done diddly toward enhancing
batch file processing.
3. Cryptic filenames. You're still stuck with those eleven-character
filenames.
4. Lack of security. ATTRIB can now hide and unhide files, but
that's all folks.
5. Inflexible bootup. You can't park several AUTOEXEC.BAT and
CONFIG.SYS files in this garage.
6. File management sucks. Unless in the Shell, it will copy an
older file over a newer one without warning, won't move files
(still copy and delete), won't rename directories and doesn't
know a mouse from a hole in the ground.
7. The file-browsing powers leave much to be desired.
LIST, anyone?
8. Space limitations. Small default environment (160 bytes), that
has to be adjusted with a SHELL command, and a 128 byte command
limit.
9. Aesthetics <guffaw> Still black and white unless you use ANSI,
and you have to use PROMPT for that.
10. Grammar 101, please. That's right, it still says "One file(s)
copied". And after having ten years to learn.
Well I guess I've driven DOS into the ground long enough. I think
I hear MicroSoft calling to see if I would like to be a Beta tester.
Dream on. I'll close this before our editor-in-chief decides it is far
too long and drops it in file 13.
And remember folks ... A nurse a day keeps the Dr. ... well, never
mind.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Introducing ADANet
by Bill Freeman
With the advent of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1992, it
has become even more important that the disabled have access to
information and thus become independent through the use of high- tech
solutions. ADAnet is a network formed to educate, protect and serve the
disabled community, helping them gather the information that they need
to compete in a technological world.
One of the many problems that the disability community must face is
a lack of a common repository for disability information. This is no
longer the case, as ADAnet can bring together doctors, lawyers, the
disabled and those that work with the disabled to share information in a
cooperative effort to assist everyone in being as productive as
possible.
We are presently looking for moderators for most of our
conferences. Persons wishing to moderate a conference should have direct
experience within the area they desire to moderate. Often they may be
asked questions not readily answered, so that the ability to network in
the area with other professionals and research personnel is very
important. At the same time, we realize that sometimes a parent or
interested third person can sometimes be of great help, and we do not
want to discourage their taking on a conference to help our efforts
succeed.
Finally, I would ask that this article be made available to all
rehabilitation and research facilities. The goal of ADAnet is to provide
fast, efficient communications within the disabled community. Please
help us let these people know that this resource is now available to
them.
Bill Freeman, ADAnet Network Coordinator.
The Disability Law Foundation
Post Office Box 374
Pinson, Alabama 35126
(205) 856-0738 (Voice)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
BBS Reviews
by Bryan Taylor
Too many times have I looked at BTN's BBS list and wondered which
boards would be worth calling. I'm too lazy to call every single one,
but I shouldn't judge a BBS merely by looking at it's name in print.
Somehow, though, that's usually what I find myself doing in the end
anyway. Finally I decided that I couldn't be the only one with this
problem, so here comes the plot.
In each issue of BTN (supposedly), a review of a BBS or two, or
maybe three will be written. By doing this, not only will I actually
end up calling every Birmingham board, but I also hope to provide you
other BTN readers with the information that will help you in selecting a
BBS that suits your needs. Each review will be divided up into sections
in order to allow those who are not interested in message areas, for
instance, find a board that has decent file directories. Below are some
questions I'll ask myself when writing each section of the reviews.
------------------
AVAILABILITY
What are the board's hours of operation?
Is the board's availability sufficient for its number
of users? (Does it need more or have enough NODES?)
Is the board often down without notice to users?
ORGANIZATION
Are new user log-on messages clear and to the point?
Are menus and menu commands displayed in a logic order?
Is it easy for a user to find his/her way around?
Are the board rules and regulations resonable?
Are instructions and help menus easily available to users?
Are there any noticable "bugs" within the regular system
operation?
MAINTENANCE
Are system bulletins kept up-to-date?
Are users notified about any changes made on the board?
Are users kept informed of events and system news?
Are "bugs" quickly repaired as not to inconvenience the
users?
FILE DIRECTORIES
Are many files available for download?
Is the upload/download ratio reasonable?
Is there a wide variety of files?
MESSAGE CONFERENCES
Is there a wide variety of conferences sufficient to
suit the users' interests?
Are conferences active with conversation?
SYSOP
Is the board's SysOp helpful and courteous to the users?
Does the SysOp care at all about his/her board's appearance
and convenience to users?
Does the SysOp interact enough or too much with the users?
------------------
In an actual BBS review, each section heading will be accompanied
by "stars" that will be used to rate that particular section of the
board's operation. The rating scale is as follows: * = very poor, ** =
poor, *** = good, **** = very good, ***** = excellent! The board will
also be given an overall rating which is based on the average of all
section ratings put together.
In closing, please keep in mind that all reviews I submit are based
entirely on my personal experience with a board and its SysOp. I do not
intend to ridicule nor deface any BBS but rather inform users and help
SysOps in improving their board. And now, with all the explanations out
of the way, let the reviews begin!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BBS Review: Programmer's Shack
by Bryan Taylor
BASIC INFORMATION
Bulletin Board System: Programmer's Shack
System Operator: Doogie Howser
Phone Number: 871-3356
Computer: 12 mhz 286 AT compatible
Modem Type: USRobotics Courier HST
Baud Rates Supported: 300 - 9600
BBS Software: Telegard 2.5i
Echo Mail Network(s): FidoNet
REVIEW
AVAILABILITY: ****
Programmer's Shack has been up and working most every call I've
made. It recently went through a mess of BBS software exchanges: from
Telegard to Ultra and back to Telegard. It has recovered well, however,
and is up and running just as before, if not better. On very few
occasions is the line busy when I call, but then again, I'm one of those
late-night BBSers. Don't get me wrong... although the line isn't often
busy, the board is far from dead! So if your looking for a good board
that's not too busy yet not too boring, Programmer's Shack should be a
consideration.
ORGANIZATION: *****
This board is beautiful by appearance. Nothing bugs me more (well,
almost nothing) than a sloppy BBS with bad margins, frequent
misspellings, stray marks, and a SysOp who could care less. On the
contrary, Programmer's Shack is kept up very nicely! What's supposed to
be centered is centered, what's supposed to be left justified is left
justified, and the the board's layout is next to perfect. I don't mean
to sound like some sort of picky English teacher, but the neatness just
makes everything so much easier to read, especially on the monochrome
monitor I use.
A plus for experienced BBS users who log on new to Programmer's
Shack is the short and to-the-point new user screens. There's no long
explanation about how to use a BBS (which can often be annoying to a
computer programmer who's been BBSing for twelve years), and you won't
even have to read any of those rules which are common to most every
board in Birmingham; if I've heard them once, I've heard them a thousand
times! Instead, the rules are neatly located in the bulletin listings
available for reading at any other time. When logging on as a new user,
you read a welcome paragraph or so, enter your personal information, and
you're ready to go!
Although I've heard rumors of Telegard sucking bad, Programmer's
Shack seems to be doing very well with it. There are no apparent
"bugs," and everything runs rather smoothly. The board can be helpful
to those new in telecommunications or quick for those who are
experienced. Finding your way around is simple, and commands are
logical. Telegard, at the moment, seems to be causing no problems.
MAINTENANCE: *****
I was surprised to see how well the users at Programmer's Shack
were kept informed. I usually find that "younger" boards don't usually
do such a good job of presenting system news, but Programmer's Shack
defies my theory. Users were notified about the changes in the BBS
software and were still kept updated on the subject even after
everything had returned to normal. Other system news is presented
clearly and updated quite frequently.
Another aspect of maintenance is daily handling of mail and files.
At Programmer's Shack, my comments to the SysOp are replied to within
tewnty-four hours if not earlier than twelve. On some boards, I usually
wait on a reply from three days to a week after I make a comment or ask
a question! (I won't mention any BBS names... okay, a hint: it's one of
the boards with six NODES! Just kidding Tom and Rocky; I know you all
have a LOT to handle over there!)
System bulletins are also maintained nicely. Included in the
bulletin listings are some user rankings, such as "Top Twenty Callers,"
and file information, such as the "Most Popular Files List." The boards
which are not usually maintained well never have such up-to-date
information like that which the Programmer's Shack provides. Even
on-line game players' rankings can be found in the bulletins, rankings
which tend to change every day. Programmer's Shack is for you if you
like a BBS where you'll know what's going on with other users and the
board.
FILE DIRECTORIES: ****
Unfortunately, there was no way for me to check out every file
available for download at Programmer's Shack, obviously. Considering
the number of files on disk, however, and the wide variety of
directories, I would say that the board has a pretty decent file
library. I give it four stars because of this large number and wide
variety of files. The information below should help you in deciding for
yourself the rating of the board's files.
File Area Statistics
--------------------
< New Uploads > .................... 1,569,920 bytes, in 10 files.
Free Downloads <No Ratio> .......... 554,368 bytes, in 8 files.
Information Center <No Ratio> ...... 1,043,328 bytes, in 29 files.
Hardware Utilities ................. 164,992 bytes, in 7 files.
Multitasking Support ............... 2,307,456 bytes, in 24 files.
File Utilities ..................... 1,113,600 bytes, in 14 files.
Editors ............................ 495,872 bytes, in 5 files.
Assembler Language ................. 683,264 bytes, in 4 files.
BASIC Language ..................... 1,124,992 bytes, in 13 files.
Pascal Language .................... 1,266,304 bytes, in 30 files.
C Language ......................... 2,489,344 bytes, in 27 files.
Other Languages .................... 482,688 bytes, in 3 files.
Archive Utilities .................. 682,880 bytes, in 10 files.
Miscellaneous ...................... 2,201,856 bytes, in 17 files.
Graphical Support .................. 856,064 bytes, in 5 files.
Communications ..................... 351,616 bytes, in 9 files.
PC-Games ........................... 452,480 bytes, in 7 files.
BBS Software and Utils ............. 2,722,816 bytes, in 37 files.
Fidonet Utilities .................. 1,361,024 bytes, in 10 files.
Telegard Systems <No Ratio> ........ 840,576 bytes, in 5 files.
Telegard Utilities <No Ratio> ...... 1,801,472 bytes, in 39 files.
-----------------------------------
Totals: 24,566,912 bytes, in 313 files.
MESSAGE CONFERENCES: ***
Many users I interviewed said they were very pleased with the
message areas on Programmer's Shack. When asked what their main
interests were with the board, most replied in some way or another about
how they use the message conferences. I can only give the conferences a
three-star rating, however, because if you're not interested in computer
programming, you won't have much use for the conversations going on. On
the other hand, if you are indeed a programmer, or even tinker with
programming, you may find a great deal of interest in the conversation.
But then, I guess that's why they call it Programmer's Shack!
Programmer's Shack is a member of FidoNet, an international IBM
compatible network. Many of its message areas are also echoed locally
here in Birmingham.
SYSOP: *****
Honestly, I have never been more impressed with a SysOp. Not only
is it my opinion that "Doogie Howser" is one of the best System
Operators in Birmingham, but most of his users feel the same way, too.
I was pleased most with his quickness in replying to my questions and
with his interest in the other users. He is well dedicated to the board
and is the kind of SysOp that all SysOps should aim to be. He is
willing to help out any time, always patient, and very courteous: a
definite five-star SysOp.
CONCLUSION
Programmer's Shack has some extras that allow non-programmers to
enjoy the board also. Looking at the list of message conferences, there
are a few areas in which non-programmers may be interested. The most
attractive extra on the board, however, would be the online games,
giving ANYONE who can think and type a variety of gaming adventure.
In conclusion of my review, I asked Doogie to give me some
background info on his board, and again, he was glad to help. He says:
"I am a senior at UAB with only 3 classes left before finishing a
Bachelor's degree in computer science. I have been into computing
for about 10 years. I have been into BBSing about the last three
years. I have been running my own BBS since January 9, 1991.
I had been thinking about setting up a BBS about three months
before I even got to the point of doing it. During that time, I
noticed that there just weren't any boards in town that were
really dedicated to one theme. Most boards are pretty general in
nature. After several talks with a few of the other SysOps, I
decided to start a board that was dedicated to people who program
computers. I figured I could set up something that would allow
programmer's to freely exchange their ideas and code fragments.
So far it has worked. However, we do allow people that don't
program computers. With the games that we have online, and some
of the message bases, we have enough for anyone to be interested
in this BBS.
I need to thank Mark Maisel for coming up with the name for this
board. He is one of the people that turned me in the direction of
really getting it going with a real theme. However, like I said
earlier, there have been several of the other SysOps who have
helped me. If it hadn't been for people like Lee Harden and Kelly
Rosato, I wouldn't even have a machine to run this board on.
I really like all of the users on my board. They are all nice
people. That is another reason that I like running a BBS.
Meeting people through the various message conferences is nice. I
just never thought I would be learning programming ideas from
people half way around the world. That is the fantastic thing
about Fidonet, the international message network of which we
are a member.
That reminds me. I forgot someone. If it hadn't been for the
help of James Minton, I wouldn't be in Fidonet. He helped me get
started with it."
After hearing, or I should say reading what Doogie had to say, I
wondered if he was possibly being polite just to get a good review. So
like any good... uh, great reporter would do, I checked him out by
questioning some of his users. Fortunately, I found that Doogie was
indeed the SysOp he seemed to be - an excellent one! His users had
plenty compliments for him and his board:
"The SysOp is extremely helpful and courteous. He is quick to
answer messages and look into any problems the users might
encounter."
"It's a very nice board that I will continue to call as long as
it remains here, which I hope is a long time."
"This [the SysOp] is the main reason I call this board. ...when I
had problems connecting to his board at 2400 BPS, he tried
everything he knew how to get the problem fixed."
"Damn, I just cleared my scrollback buffer by mistake."
(Yeah, sure... and he thought I believed him!)
"[The SysOp] is responsive to user input."
(What the hell does THAT mean?)
"It [a bug] only happened a very few times and the SysOp was
right on the problem and did not rest until it had been solved."
OVERALL RATINGS
Availability...........**** 4 stars
Organization...........***** 5 stars!
Maintenance............***** 5 stars!
File Directories.......**** 4 stars
Message Conferences....*** 3 stars
SysOp..................***** 5 stars!
--------------------------------------
Overall Score..........**** 4 stars
On behalf of "Birmingham Telecommunications News," Programmer's
Shack and its System Operator, Doogie Howser, are hereby presented with
an award of excellence for achieving a four-star rating!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Adventures of R.G. Strangemind and Herbert
by Jeremy Lewis
Copyright 1991 by Jeremy Lewis
no reprints without the permission of the author
Chapter VI
Herbert opened his' yes and couldn't seem anything, in fact he
could hear anything either. He must dead! He began to yell when he
realized that he was unnaturally cold, but then again, he metal used in
spaceship walls is very cold. It was about this time that Slob pulled
Herbert out of the wall and Herbert realized he was alive. Herbert also
realize that a strange blue alien was running a corridor. Herbert
decided to follow him and about three hundred yards down that same
corridor, a now existent purple was walking in herbert and Slob's
direction. The purple thing with a lot of teeth's name was Ginger and
Ginger was mad.
R.G. "ran" (one doesn't actually run while in astral form, but
saying that some one floated determinedly down the hall is rather
anti-climatic) determinedly down the hall looking for his body. He had
searched the areas he thought the powercore likely to be found in, after
realizing that entity calling itself the Ship's Computer would no longer
talk to him. Suddenly R.G. had an idea. He calm down and began to try
to "feel" the direction of his body. To R,G,'s left he felt an almost
imperceptible tingle, and off he went while his body stood still before
a large metal door bearing the alien equivalent of a radiation symbol (A
piece of toasted garlic bread), that was slowly beginning to open.
Back on the planet Slag, Emperor Splort was holding a war council.
Splort was a tall imposing man with green skin and well defined muscles.
He looked even more imposing as he stood (towered, actually) over the
remaining members of the royal council. None of the councilmen knew
what their late youngest member had said to enrage him, but they weren't
about to ask and he wasn't going to tell them. The light in the room
glistened off of his bald skull given him a strange halo as he spoke.
"I'm going to have a war gentlemen. I'm going to go out with the
bounty hunters and kill our beloved friend Slob"
"But sir..."began one of the councilmen, but that was as far he got
before his head was simply no longer present, taking his nervously
system quite by surprise and causing him to make unsightly jerking
motions as his body dropped to the floor. Splort surveyed the court room
with a smoking disintegrator in his hand.
"Are there anymore objections", he asked. Oddly enough there were
none. The disintegrator did have a little to do with the lack of
objections, but also, the council had decided that if the Emperor wanted
to go off and get killed, it would be more than fine with them.
Splort grinned and contemplated Slob's death at his hands.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ultra BBS version 2.03
by Doogie Houser
Well, Ultra is an ok piece of software, but it has its problems.
First, when doing a new scan of files, you don't know what directory
area a file is in because it doesn't tell you. That is not a major
problem because you can download from anywhere just like PCBoard, but it
would be nice to have.
Next, Ultra, to me, was just boring. It didn't offer me any way to
upgrade my board, change its style, etc. like Telegard does. With
Ultra, every command is static. You can't change anything. However,
with Telegard, you can change the style of your menus or the commands,
and make your board look and feel the way that you want it too. I mean,
in Telegard if you wanted to, you could use "Z" as your download command
key.
Third, Ultra has major problems with PCBoard type online games.
The problems: It just will not run them. The Convert utility that
comes with Ultra v2.03, the version I was running doesn't convert all of
the files needed to run the PCB14 type games. It only creates a
PCBOARD.SYS file. Yes, there are utilities out there to take care of
this, but you shouldn't have to use them if the software comes with its
own utility.
Fourth, there aren't that many utilities out there for Ultra.
Nowhere I looked, could I find even a Ultra BBS users lister. There is
a command on the main menu to list the users, but there wasn't any
third-party utilities to produce ascii or ansi bulletin files that could
be configured the way the SysOp might want.
Sometimes, when uploading files on a batch upload, Ultra would come
back after the upload and tell me that no files were uploaded. Can you
say "problem"?
Another thing that I didn't like is that the user and file manager
utility is external. You have to completely exit the BBS and run a
separate utility to do any kind of management of the files or users.
Telegard has all of this internally.
Ok, still another thing I dislike, as well did some of my users.
You can scan and read messages through the read command. When reading
messages under PCBoard, you can start reading messages, then use the "q
s" command to quick-scan the message headers since you last read. You
could proceed to type in a number of a message to read, and the message
would be displayed. In Ultra, you would have to get out of the read
command, use the scan command to quick scan the message headers, and
then go back into the read command to read the message that you chose to
read. This is very painful.
Another problem with Ultra is that if you allow handles, it doesn't
ask for their real name also. This poses a real problem for those
boards that wish to be a member of Fidonet, where aliases are frowned
upon. Obvious handles would be easily picked out, but those that sounded
like real names, would not.
Setup of the Ultra system is rather easily, but nothing is as easy
as the setup of Telegard. In Telegard, you issue one command and the
program does the rest. The Telegard asks you just a few questions and
then it proceeds to create all of your directories that are needed,
moves all files to their appropriate locations, and it does all of this
in a matter of just two or three minutes. It took me over three hours
to manually setup Ultra v2.03.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Windows 3.0 review: Notebook 1.6
by Eric Hunt Mark Berlinger
Shareware, $10
When some people sit and think about the abysmal text editors that
Microsoft provided as a default part of the Windows environment, it's a
wonder there aren't many suicides. Both Notepad and Write leave numerous
things to be desired. Fortunately shareware writers have starting
filling this void in the low end ASCII editing arena. Notebook is one of
those editors. Sporting a small size with powerful features, this handy
little text editor has all the features a person dedicated to solely
entering text (that most likely will never see the printed page) could
ever want
Notebook is an ASCII text editor, pure and simple. Its biggest
feature, in my book at least, is the ability to edit and/or display
files of unlimited size! (Well, at least to the limit of real and
virtual memory in the PC) This was perhaps one of the biggest drawbacks
with the Microsoft supplied Notepad. Notepad is limited to files 32k in
length or shorter. Editing capacity is especially important when reading
large text documents (such as BTN) in the Windows environment. When
other programs throw in the towel (Notepad, WinSmooth), Notebook stays
in the race.
Another pleasant feature found in Notebook is Word Wrap. I
particularly despise having to press <enter> after every line of text as
I enter it, and that's what has to be done with most other ASCII editors
in Windows, especially the ones geared towards editing source code for
programs. Margins can be set either from a dialog box with actual
numbers for the margins, or with the mouse. Stretch the Notepad editing
screen to a new size, and the word wrap immediately reformats your text
to display in the new width without having horizontal scroll bars!
Other impressive abilities for a program this size are merging of
external text files, extensive search and replace, a bookmark, undo, and
a handy run facility. ASCII files can be directly inserted into your
current document, nice for those of us who keep little ASCII notes
floating around our hard disk. Search and Replace is also excellent,
allowing for case independent or dependent operating, and the ability to
go directly to a given line number. Notebook can even remember your
current line number when you exit a document and bring you back to that
place in the text upon reloading. Handy for the intermittent reading of
a large file. Undoing of the last editing operation is nice, especially
when that last revision didn't revise too well after a bit of thought.
Also, a nice run facility is available from the main menu, with a menu
of executable files to be browsed through presented. Much easier to use
than dragging up the program manager and using THAT aborted attempt at a
run command.
And yet even more features! Many of these perhaps aren't central to
the actual input of ASCII, but they make the typists life easier while
using Notebook. The floating status line is an interesting feature. This
little dialog box can be activated and placed in a convient position
onscreen, showing you the current line number and the total size of the
file in bytes. The current text font and and tab spacing can be
customized as well. Two fixed and one variable pitch font are available.
Tabs can be configured to expand into from 2 to 14 spaces, a nice touch
for the occassional programmer. Notebook can also send your text to the
printer if need be, with both a custom header and page number printed on
each page. The ability to place the date and time on the title bar,
along with the current filename, keeps you hopping a s you strive to
meet the copy deadlines! Finally, complete online help is available for
every function and feature that Notebook offers. (Unfortunately, it's
not case-sensitive, but it is indexed very well)
Notebook is not without its problems. I would say the biggest thing
is has going against it is the nagware that the author has built into
the program. At startup, and periodically throughout an edit session, a
"nagware" dialog box (hey, he even put "nagware" in the title of the
dialog box!) appears soliciting your donation to his programming cause.
What makes it worse is that the "OK" button is hidden behind three
buttons, and you have to guess which one sends you back to your
document. I found it much easier to dispense with the shell game and
simply press <enter>, achieving the same end result. This nagware is
almost rectified by the ridiculously low price for the editor - $10. At
that price, even I could afford to register and put up with the nags. As
far as features from within the editor go, I have but one complaint. The
search and replace functions under the "Search" menu are not immediately
obvious. There are several greyed items pertaining to search/replace
that I could never get to work, UNTIL.... I finally used the "Go To..."
dialog, and lo and behold, there was the entry field for search/replace!
That leap in logic escapes me to this day. My wish list for the program
includes MDI (Multiple Document Interface) support, so I can open LOTS
of text files at once, and a button bar somewhere. After using such
programs as WinQwk, WinEdit, and Word For Windows, pulling down menus is
a letdown and a drag! [grin] The button bar is certainly the choice for
the fundamentally lazy.
Notebook 1.6 is an excellent little ASCII editor/viewer, and at
$10, the price/performance ratio cannot be topped by any other editor I
know of.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Why Do We Need Standardization?
Or
Why Do Older Mice Have Bigger Balls?
by Lurch Henson
He did it again. It's all Mark's fault, so you can blame him for
it. You see, I was over at his house wanting to show him some really
fantastic Amiga demo programs I use at work, and he told me that his
mouse had died, so I couldn't show them to him. Not one to be put off
by a minor setback such as this, I got ahold of a mouse that had been
neutered (someone stole the ball out of it). The mouse I got was an
"Official Commodore Amiga Mouse", made to be used on the Amy, and since
Mark's mouse had it's ball, I expected to just swap it out and then be
able to show him the Amazing Demos I'd brought him. I took his
"Official Commodore Mouse", popped the cover on the bottom, took out
it's ball (OUCH!), and proceeded to try and implant it into the newer,
lighter (probably because of the missing ball, they ARE quite heavy, you
know), and slightly cleaner mouse I'd brought. Guess what? It didn't
fit. Wasn't even close. The ball was too big (swollen from the
operation? I don't think so). Anyway, what happened next was I spent
the next two hours dismantling the mice, breaking for dinner, then
repairing the broken wire in the mouse cable (by splicing them all),
then putting them back together again, before being able to show him the
Wonderful Demos I had brought him. During all of this, he suggested
that I might be able to get an article for BTN out of the experience
(Ah-HA! That's what you can blame him for!), so here it is........
Standardization. It's such a nice word, isn't it? Wouldn't it be
nice if you could take that disk out of your Amiga, and go over to your
friend's house and stick it into his IBM and show him the program you'd
just finished? Or maybe, just maybe, one of you with a C-64 could take
your disk with your favorite programs on it, and run them on your IBM at
work (why, you ask? Because there are alot of people out there that
STILL have C-64 machines, and STILL have their favorite programs that
they've been using for years, that have features they wish some IBM
programmer would write into an IBM program, that's why). Well, while all
of this is getting closer and closer, I don't expect to see it. Some
things like C, and some Commodore terminals being written to handle ANSI
and 80 columns are nice, but not what I'd call compatable. Not until I
can take that C-64 disk and stick it in an IBM or an Amiga and run it
just fine. And that's not the standardization I'm talking about anyway.
I'm talking about some good compatability within each machine's range.
That mouse, for instance. The newer one had alot less mechanical
"garbage" inside than the older one did. That's called "progress".
That's fine. BUT, didn't anyone ever stop to think that maybe, just
maybe, someone might want to use a part out of the older mouse, to help
keep the newer one running a little longer? One mouse had a plug on the
inside, instead of just soldering the wires onto the board (that was the
newer mouse, more progress), the other didn't. If both were like that,
and I had a problem with my cable, then I could just swap them out. If
the ball disappears (not a strange occurance once a small child learns
they can open the bottom of Daddy's mouse and have this cute little ball
to play with), and you've got an older mouse laying around (maybe the
dog chewed up the cable, or said child discovered that mice don't bounce
off the wall too well once little pieces start coming off of them), then
pop that sucker open and Ta-DAAAA!, you're back up and running in three
minutes time, tops.
And that's just mice. Think about it for a second, this could
catch on. Imagine if all the modems out there used the SAME CABLE! Wow!
Wouldn't that be nice? No more going to the store looking for that one
little six inch cable that works for your modem, and your modem alone,
just to find out there is one other idiot that bought one of these weird
type modems, and he bought the ONLY CABLE IN TOWN, not ten minutes
before you came looking for it... Don't you hate it when that happens?
Luckily for me, my brother-in-law was the guy that got that cable, but
the cable was so short that his modem (external, since it needed the
cable in the first place) had to sit on it's side, behind his computer,
so he never could hear the noises it made, or read it(s pretty little
lights to see what it was trying to tell him.
Printers! Heh, you could do an entire article on just those (no,
Mark, I'm not writing that one, grab someone else). Besides my own
horror stories about trying to get Commodore compatable printers to
realize they really ARE Commodore compatable, with all the wonderful and
thoroughly enjoyable cabling that entails, there are the countless tales
told me by these delightful military wives that keep coming into the PX
where I work, saying their husbands can't get their printer to print out
Jr's invitations for all of his friend's to come to his fourth birthday,
because the printer doesn't work. After admiring their tan for a bit
(it IS getting warmer down in Lower Alabama, you know), I begin asking
them questions about which printer they bought, which usually sends them
to the phone to ask hubby (who was too embarassed to come down himself
and admit he didn't know what he was doing, which is fine by me, as most
of the wives are QUITE attractive). Once she finds out what they own,
we go over to the "Wall of Cables", which remains mostly empty, because
of the strange stocking policies of military bases, and pick through the
dozen or so cable types left there. I usually have to send them
off-base, to some civilian store, since this happens quite alot, and the
PX only sells four or five different printers. IF we find a cable, she
thanks me and goes home, if she doesn't, she gets upset and goes home.
All of this could be avoided if only someone would decide that printers
should all have THIS plug, and computers should all have THIS one. Then
we could make millions of the right type of cable, and everyone would be
happy (except me, of course, since the wives wouldn't have to come into
the computer section of the PX anymore... <SIGH> ).
Anyway, why should there be something like standardization? So
that setting up your new computer could be as easy as plugging Tab A
into Slot B. So that when you bought a printer a year later, you could
buy the right cable for it the first time, instead of trusting the sales
clerk (who was probably hired yesterday because he's the boss's
daughter's boyfriend, not because he's smart enough to know what a cable
is (he thinks it's what he and the boss's daughter watches while waiting
for the boss to go to bed at night)). So that when you discover the
wonderful world of telecomputing on your friend's computer, you can rush
right out and buy yourself a modem, and hook it up right the first time,
calling out to your first BBS only twenty minutes after you opened the
box the modem came in, instead of three days later because you can't
find the right cable anywhere, and when you finally find the one that
would have worked, it's male, when you needed a female, because the
modem company changed their design last year without being kind enough
to tell you about it. That's why we need something like standardization.
That, and one more very important reason. That, and so that when the
next person comes over to Mark's house to show him some software, and
finds out something else has gone wrong with his computer, he doesn't
have to sit there and spend several hours rebuilding a major component
before he can show off (the next guy may not be as weird as I am, and
may not enjoy doing such tedious and normally boring work). That, my
friends, is why we need standardization.......
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Notes from the Trenches
by Dean Costello
This Month: "Pizza and Coke is a Constitutional Right"
I was sitting/lying on my bed, doing some reading, and I got a
little hungry. That was not in and of itself an unusual event. But when
I hit the kitchen, I was just thinking about how unusual it was that at
2am I could just ease into the kitchen and grab something like pizza and
a coke. Damned good, too.
Around these here parts, shopping is kind of unusual. There are
basically three or four different places to buy food. You can go to a
7-11 or go take-out, but I don't feel like addressing those points here.
To shop for food, you go to four places: Giant Food (there are about 5
within a mile radius of my apartment), Superfresh (the redone Safeway),
those curious budget joints where you bag your own food, and Magruders.
I will key on Magruders for the purposes of this discussion.
I noted it on one of my drives through the village of Vienna that
there was a market called Magruders. It struck me as being a local kind
of joint, and it had the outward signs of looking like one of my
favorite places in the Western World, Vincents. So, I decided to try it
out.
The parking lot was completely full. After driving around for a
couple of minutes, a space came open right in front the doors. I
wandered in to check the place out. I really can't describe the place.
It was like Bruno's gone terribly awry. Carts all over the place,
abandoned to their fates by careless operators; aisles so close that two
cars cannot pass each other, and scads of really angry, surly
individuals. Very angry glances passed back and forth between
customers, everyone packing a nasty frown. A very disturbing place, as
if all of the hackneyed Southern clich<63>s about Northern life have come
alive in this one place. One example, at the deli counter: The deli
girl went in the back to get something, like potato salad or artichokes.
While she was back there, some old bugger started yelling for service. I
don't mean like Chris Mohney or myself saying, "Hey, is anyone here?"
kind of thing, but literally bellowing for someone. No one seemed to be
jumping at an appropriate rate for him, so he walked behind the counter,
and started yelling into the meat/deli section. A girl came out with a
bowl of goo, and he started yelling at her, pointing out what a bad
person she was, she doesn't deserve to work at a supermarket. I mean
really excoriating the poor girl. She started yelling back. Well, not
really yelling, but explaining forceably. The old bugger got his tuna
salad, and shambled off, mumbling something about how the whole
generation is going to hell in a handbasket. The girl seemed upset by
the exchange, so I went up to her and said, "If you let maggots like
that bother you, you'll die. Just think about what his home life must
be like." She seemed slighty amused, and I wandered off, knowing I had
done a good deed for a change.
It was, on the whole, a very confusing experience. Everyone
scowling at everyone else, people ramming others' carts, yelling at each
other, blowing horns at each other in the parking lot (as I left the
store, there were a couple of people in their cars out front waiting for
others. For some reason, the second person in line just starting
blowing her horn, and others joined in. The person in the first car
flipped the others off, they started blowing their horns more).
I can't figure this shit out. While I'm at it, here is a special
extra summer installment:
Notes from the Trenches
by me
Also This Month: "What's your Beef, Dean?"
As you, my more-or-less Faithful Reader, have noticed, I usually
have some complaint or another. My brother, Scott the Nazi, when he
sees me after a while, and we get the huggin' and kissin' out of the
way, steps back and says, "So Dean, what's your beef?". Imagine my shock
when I discovered a couple of weeks ago that it was merely a Letterman
sketch with Jay Leno. Anyway...
-The cost of burritos at the D.C. area Taco Bell ($.69), assuming
you can find one.
-Neighbors that like rap/soul music, and feel it is their duty in
life to make sure as many people as possible get the opportunity
to experience it, so that they also can appreciate their music.
-BBS in D.C. It is a rare bird indeed that you don't have to pay
money (and a lot of it) to get a reasonable amount of time.
-The immense quantity of paper necessary for getting things
accomplished with EPA.
-The incredible traffic.
-Lack of good supermarkets. Everything in this region is like a
cut-rate Bruno's. Things are arranged in a very spastic manner,
there is a lack of important things, and none of them are open
after 11pm.
-Discovery that a teenager that I was counseling has gone beyond
drug use and suicide, and is now a dealer.
-The unbelievable traffic.
-The fact that there is a lot of things to do/see in the D.C.
area, but because of all the damned cars, one doesn't want to go
anywhere. For example, traffic here is like the 280 commute back
to Shelby county at 5:00 EVERY DAY, ALL OF THE TIME.
-The cable system here costs about $12/month, and it has something
like 80-90 channels, plus HBO, Cinemax, etc., etc. But damned if
most of the channels are off the air, advertising "Pay-Per-View"
events and some such. However, there is a channel that is
devoted to only flight schedules from Dulles airport.
Hell, I don't care anymore. Don't blame me, I just work here and
make incredible amounts of money.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
ProFile
by Chris Mohney
The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
knowledge may take the same route....
---------
Pro File on ROBERT BROOME
---------
Age: 29
Birthplace: Labor Room of some Hospital
Occupation: Contractor
My hobbies include: Reading, Photography, SCUBA and driving my wife to
drink.
Years telecomputing: 10
Sysop, past/present/future of: Bloom County BBS (present is all that
counts eh?)
My oddest habit is: Standing on my head in the shower
My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To move to Florida and become a
beach bum.
The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is:
My 3 children, Sara, Stephanie and Amanda. (Bloom County is
probably next in line tho)
My favorite performers are: Mel Gibson, Stephen Segal
The last good movie I saw was: Jungle Book (Remember the kids??)
The last good book I read was: The Hornet's Nest and Under Siege
If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
by: Baloo the Bear (Jungle Book)
My pet peeves are: People who bitch about smoking and busy signals
When nobody's looking, I like to: Transmogrify myself into a house plant
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Colby's Summer Excitement
by Colby Gibson
As I sit in front of this terminal, I have a hard time realizing
the inevitable! The summer is going faster than expected, and even
though I write this article in the week after BTN 38 goes out, I know
that when publication hits, the summer will be TWO THIRDS over. Now,
what shall I do with August? I could sit atop a flagpole perhaps..
I should go and visit my father. He lives in the fly infested city
of Gulfport, Miss. I could then spend days dodging flies as big as my
hand and blowing away raccoons that are bigger than my dog. There would
be the perks, though. Watching the dude at the lake with the jetski
crash into another dock. Hehehe, it was pretty funny when he did it the
first time.... Flew about 50 feet... Good food, too. Shrimp and other
ocean crustaceans are very cheap on the gulf coast and fish is very
plentiful. I could meander over to New Orleans in the middle of the
night and *pray* to sneak into a club. Lot of good that would do me, of
course. Although legal driving age in that state is 15, drinking age
isn't and I would probably get carded and with that Alabama permit, get
THROWN OUT. My dad is an excellent cook. Although food is not the issue
here, it will be good to round out the first week in August there with a
good meal.
I should stay home for the rest of August. I might leave the house,
and travel via bicycle through the run down backroads to the river, and
lounge there for several hours. It's good, fresh breezes, cool water,
toxic waste such as needles and stuff floating past... I could fish,
too, provided I have a fishing pole.
Spanning the river here in Trussville lies one of the massive train
trestles that you see in the movies, and yes, such as Stand By Me. I
could go out into the middle, attach an elastic cord and jump off. It
wouldn't be very smart, however, because the water under that tressel is
only a foot deep and full of sharp, pointy rocks. I could court a
train, and jump onto a maintenance platform at the last minute. Yeah,
that's it.
Some of the backroads in Trussville are also gifted with dirt
roads. One of which I had the fortune to follow for an hour today. They
aren't the most pleasant things, rocks and stuff all over the place
making it hard to ride on a bike. But, I managed it, and I followed it
approximately half a mile until it forked.
I hate this. I have to like draw arrows in the dirt to show passage
and hope to hell that it doesn't rain. Just kidding. It forked once and
it was down to the river....
I could spend several backbreaking hours picking blackberries along
that same stretch of track. I would then hand them over to the Granny
who makes them into jelly, which Maisel has had the opportunity to
devour a jarful. Of course, getting rid of the flies and mosquitoes that
fly all over the place isn't one of the best things in the world. I will
also need to look out for ants. I stepped in a pile the last time I
picked those dumb things and my foot swelled the size of my power
supply.
The Cahaba Valley Country Club is a wonderful place to retire for
the afternoon. Within bicycle distance of the house, this golf course
provides the perfect thing to do in the afternoon. Just bypass the first
couple of holes and start playing. You can get in an afternoon's worth
of golf for free. Golf carts are extra, because stealing one isn't easy.
Cahaba Valley CC does have a swimming pool and two tennis courts,
which aren't the grass kind we see in Wimbledon. Although they aren't
kept up to the biggest degree, if you have a friend you can go down
there and chase a fuzzy yellow ball with a fumbly racket all afternoon
if you wish. For free even!
The pool, however, is kept up. There is also security to bypass, if
you could call it that. You should pay to enter it, but If you tell them
that your parents are members they'll let you right in. Then you can
spend the afternoon amist cool water or on a deck chair soaking up the
cancer causing sun.
If that doesn't work, I could sneak down to Camp Coleman and snag a
canoe early one morning. Although the Cahaba isn't the DEEPEST river in
the world, it does have a calming atmosphere. I could float down it all
morning and all afternoon, then ditch the canoe. Of course, the Camp
might get kind of upset, so I'll steer clear of that.
There is a nice place down by the river where one might choose to
camp for the evening. There is also a convenient swimming place right
down the hill from it. The Cahaba can also yield dinner, provided you
have the proper equipment. Given several cans of bug repellent and clear
skies, a campfire sing-a-long might even be in order.
Trussville is also in riding distance from out here in the sticks,
so to speak. One might go into Trussville and retire to the Subway shop
for a nice lunch. Then you can cruise across the road for a nice day of
bowling in the 10 lane Cahaba Bowl place. If that doesn't cook your
bacon, you could go down to the Middle school which has tennis courts
that are in slightly better condition that CVCC. It also has a track
that you could run around, and all of it is absolutely free.
If you are in need of a coke, don't get it from Subway. There's a
Food Fair right across the parking lot, and one can obtain a 3 liter
deal for the same price as a large 30 oz Subway drink, etc.
Should I prove brave, I could run the gauntlet down Main Street and
out under 459. Past that, and Into Roebuck and Centerpoint. Many, many
wonderful things await one there, especially a K-mart and a Wal-mart
that aren't offered in Trussville, but since I have no intention of
getting peeled off the road by a paramedic team, I'll stay in Trussville
for a while...
Since Trussville is also a haven for farmers and their cow
pastures, provided that one is willing to stay awake to the wee hours of
the morning, you can go and tip cows. This does tend to piss farmers
off, and that 12 gauge barrel pointed at your face might attest to it.
Obtain a friend and a pair of wire cutters. Approach the pasture
and with the friend cut a hole big enough for you and the friend to
enter the pasture. Then, dodging cow plops, make your way toward some
cows. Some of them may be laying down, but some do fall asleep while
standing. THEY are your target.
Approach the sleeping cow silently, and position yourself at the
neck and the other at the hind section, for these animals tend to weigh
a nice poundage. Then, all at once, push forward really hard. The cow
should not even notice. It will fall over and hit the ground with a
sickening THUD!!! It will then awake, do something really undescribable,
such as start convulsing, and run off. Great fun, especially when your
time is out on The MATRIX.
Another thing to do is just sit down in the pasture for a few
minutes. Not on a plop, however -- watch where you sit. Listen. Some
very strange "natural" sounds may come to life. I shall leave this to
you to decide upon, but if you are easily nauseous, don't go.
Warning: Farmers tend to be scared and pissed off very easily,
especially when they think that the invisible "no tresspassing" sign has
been violated. Be sure to wear thick clothing because when high velocity
rock salt hits skin, it stings, burns, and just plain hurts. Badly.
Although no curfew is in order for Trussville citizens, you MAY
choose to roll a house or two, but I don't recommend it. The fine is 50
cents a sheet, I think, and when there are 500 sheets on a roll and you
use 5 rolls, that comes to $1250. Quite a fine.
The nighttime entertainment for Trussville is nil. One must venture
to ye olde Festival Center for a movie, or to Century for a mall visit,
for there are not such things in Trussville. Yet, at least. For 20 years
or so.
I will round out this article by saying that there are many
activities that one might engage in when such "technological"
entertainment is limited or nil. By the way, did I tell you that my
drives just broke?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
SIG's (Special Interest Groups), Computer Related
-------------------------------------------------
BEPCUG CCS
Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South
Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library
Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128)
3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga)
Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM
BCCC BIPUG
Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group
POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg
Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541
UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week
2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday)
Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883
BACE FAOUG
Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users
Enthusiast Group
Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library
2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM
Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200
CADUB
CAD Users of Birmingham
Homewood Library
3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM
Bobby Benson 791-0426
SIG's, Non-Computer Related
---------------------------
BBC Birmingham Astronomy Club
Blue Box Companions Subject: Astronomy
Subject: Dr. Who Red Mountain Museum Annex
Hoover Library 4th Tuesday, 7:30PM
1st Saturday, 2PM-5PM
If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed,
please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on
The Matrix BBS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE
SUPPORTED TYPE
* Abject Poverty 680-9680 300-2400 ProLogon/Prodoor
* Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProLogon/ProDoor
* American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express
^ Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
&)* Bloom County 856-0587 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
-* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
*% Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12
CM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
CM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5
-*# Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
-*# Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.5
* Crunchy Frog Node 1 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
* Crunchy Frog Node 2 956-0073 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm5.L.30
Disktop Publishing BBS 854-1660 300-2400 MNP4 Wildcat! 2.55s
FM Station 680-9772 1200-2400 WWIV 4.12
Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
Hacker's Corner 674-5449 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
Hardeman's BBS 640-6436 1200-2400 Wildcat! 2.55s
-* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.5
@ K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2
*& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
*& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PCBoard 14.5
Long Island 631-0184 300-2400 ???????
* Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PCBoard 14.2
Martrydom Again?! 491-BURN 1200-2400 WWIV 4.12
@ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image1.2
^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
Outside It's America 951-2473 1200-2400 MNP4 Vortek 1.48
Owlabama BBS 833-8345 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
Paradise City 853-1439 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS QuickBBS 2.04
+ Programmer's Shack 871-3356 300-9600 USR HST Telegard 2.5i
* Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-9600 USR DS GTPower 15.00
Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PCBoard 14.5
* ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PCBoard 14.2
Strattosphere 833-7612 1200-2400 WWIV 4.12
The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image1.2
The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PCBoard 14.5
^ The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
^ The Edge of Oblivion 520-0230 300-2400 WWIV 4.11
The Madhouse! 428-3061 300-9600 USR V.32 Telegard 2.5i
-*!$(The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PCBoard 14.5
-*!$(The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 2400-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
-*!$(The Matrix Node 6 323-0799 2400-9600 USR DS PCBoard 14.5
+ The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Ultra BBS ?.??
The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET
+ The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 Telegard 2.5i
The Word 833-2831 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2
Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess
The many symbols you see prior to the names of many of the bbs' in the
list signify that they are members of one or more networks that exchange
or echo mail to each other in some organized fashion.
* = EzNet, a local IBM compatible network
@ = Image network, a national Commodore network
+ = FidoNet, an international IBM compatible network
- = Metrolink, an international IBM compatible network
^ = WWIV-Net, an international IBM compatible network
& = Intellec, an international IBM compatible network
# = Uni'Net, an international IBM compatible network
% = ThrobNet, an international IBM compatible network
! = RastaNet, an international IBM compatible network
$ = ILink, an international IBM compatible network
( = TheoNet, a national IBM compatible network
) = USNetMail, a national IBM compatible network
If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
know via EzNet.
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