2121 lines
100 KiB
Plaintext
2121 lines
100 KiB
Plaintext
BTN: Birmingham Telecommunications News
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COPYRIGHT 1991
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February 1991 Volume 4, Issue 2
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Table Of Contents
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-----------------
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Article Title Author
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Policy Statement and Disclaimer................Staff
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Editorial......................................Dean Costello
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3rd Annual Unofficial Birmingham BBS Poll......Tyros
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A Few Thoughts From A Semi-Retired Sysop.......Lurch Henson
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Better Sound Through Technology................Colby Gibson
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?Why I Compute?................................R.J. Gumby
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Review: File Finder Pack......................Henry Barfoot
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Review: Commo 4.4 Terminal Software...........Sid Browning
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Review: The Telegard BBS......................Steven Capps
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BTN Party Questionnaire........................Eric Hunt
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ProFile: Colby Gibson.........................Chris Mohney
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Special Interest Groups (SIGs).................Barry Bowden
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Known BBS Numbers..............................Staff
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Echoes/Network List............................Staff
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Disclaimer and Statement of Policy for BTN
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We at BTN try our best to assure the accuracy of articles and
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information in our publication. We assume no responsibility for
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damage due to errors, omissions, etc. The liability, if any for BTN, its
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editors and writers, for damages relating to any errors or omissions,
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etc., shall be limited to the cost of a one year subscription to BTN,
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even if BTN, its editors or writers have been advised of the likelihood
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of such damages occurring.
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With the conclusion of that nasty business, we can get on with our
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policy for publication and reproduction of BTN articles. We publish
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monthly with a deadline of the fifteenth of the month prior to
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publication. If you wish to submit an article, you may do so at any
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time but bear in mind the deadline if you wish for your work to appear
|
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in a particular issue. It is not our purpose to slander or otherwise
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harm a person or reputation and we accept no responsibility for the
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content of the articles prepared by our writers. Our writers own their
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work and it is protected by copyright. We allow reprinting of articles
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from BTN with only a few restrictions. The author may object to a
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reprint, in which case he will specify in the content of his article.
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Otherwise, please feel free to reproduce any article from BTN as long as
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the source, BTN, is specified, and as long as the author's name and the
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article's original title are retained. If you use one of our articles,
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please forward a copy of your publication to:
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Mark Maisel
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Editor, BTN
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221 Chestnut St.
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BHM, AL 35210-3219
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We thank you for taking the time to read our offering and we hope that
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you like it. We also reserve the right to have a good time while doing
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all of this and not get too serious about it.
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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N E W S F L A S H
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**********************************************
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*If you have any news, especially you sysops,*
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*that you want to get out to the readership *
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*of this august publication, let me know and *
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*it will be placed in this space. MM *
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**********************************************
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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F R E E B I E : G E T I T W H I L E I T S H O T !
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The following boards allow BTN to be downloaded freely, that is with no
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charge to any existing upload/download ratios.
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The Connection LZ Birmingham Alter-Ego
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Channel 8250 Little Kingdom Joker's Castle
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Crunchy Frog Myth Drannor Posys BBS
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The Matrix Abject Poverty The Bus
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The Outer Limits Bloom County
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If you are a sysop and you allow BTN to be downloaded freely, please let
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me know via EzNet so that I can post your board as a free BTN
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distributor. Thanks.
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MM
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Editorial
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by Dean Costello
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A February editorial. What to write about? Well, there are rumors
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of snow for tomorrow morning. I, for one, am going to get a Thermos of
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hot chocolate, and go down to US31/280 and Highland Ave. and watch
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people wreck. I can think of nothing better to do. It has always
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surprised me that an entire culture, such as in the Birmingham region,
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is genetically unable to cope with snowfall. I shall see for myself for
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a change. The schools haven't been shut down for tomorrow under threat
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of snow just yet, so there is still some apparent hope. It kind of
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reminds me of the December party, 1989, when people were calling Kathy
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and Mark to find out if the party was still going to be held, even
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though there was a threat of snow. I was amused. There was a run on
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supermarkets, and everything. I know that I don't want to be caught in
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an Alabama blizzard without beer or toilet paper. I can't quite figure
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it out.
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By this time, you probably know that I am leaving Birmingham. I
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have been here for 2.5 years now (September 1, 1988 to present), and I
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think that it is truly time to go. I have been noticing the way that
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many of my messages have turned from biting yet clever to just nasty,
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and that is a trend I am not very happy with; so maybe it is truly time
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to get the hell out of Dodge. But on the other hand, I have been voted
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the most popular user in Birmingham for an unprecedented two times in a
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row. As Sally Fields said, "You like me. You really like me!" Or at
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least 30 or so of you do... I am curious as to where I would place next
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year, but it isn't really important, I guess.
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I must address something that has really been bothering me as of
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late, and that is the scourge of the offline mail reader. Before you
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start up, I realize that it is handy for those of you that are calling
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boards long distance, but I reply that if you are calling a board long
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distance to read mail, you get what you pay for. The problem with them
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is that it allows people that normally wouldn't leave many messages are
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all of the sudden leaving entire slews of shitty messages. And don't
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tell me they aren't, either. I have spoken with several people about
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the perceived (by me) decrease in average message quality (the AMQ).
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There is a direct correlation between the decrease in AMQ and the
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profusion of offline mail reader doors here in Birmingham.
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Remember the early days, when very few people had them? And
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remember that it was the evil Baron von Enterkin who was the chief
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proponent of them? Of course you do. As Brett Thorn says, oh so
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succinctly, "Anything that Jay Enterkin champions must be fundamentally
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flawed". And flawed it is. So now, we have these people who feel it is
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their Holy Mission to respond to every message left in a message base.
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Normally, this wouldn't bother me, but these people also leave immense
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quantities of messages, but immense quantities of crappy messages,
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thusly reducing the AMQ that I spoke of before. You have sysops saying,
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"Oooooh, we have a MarkMail door, and now thousands of people can call
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in here everyday".
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Oh boy. Thousands of people/day has always guaranteed quality in
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my book, by God. As Ed O'neill said, "Since McDonald's sells the most
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food, does that mean that they are the best restaurant?" Not hardly, and
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this is what I am seeing. Just because all these people can call in,
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and leave mass quantities of mediocre to poor messages, this does not
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mean that the individual BBS is better for it, no matter what the sysop
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may say. I guess it is more of a ego booster to be able to say, "I have
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[x] more callers calling in now". I personally wouldn't use that as a
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indicator of BBS quality.
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So now, we have BBSs that feel it is so important to have these
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accursed things that they must advertise it to get people to come to
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their board. How very curious. A problem involved with this increase in
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offline readers is that what happens to the non-IBM types that don't
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have offline reader programs? Looks to me like they are shit out of
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luck. Amiga's apparently have them, but that's about it. I own an Atari
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ST, so if I am to read mail on a BBS, I must either read it online, and
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respond accordingly, or I must use zipmail packets, due to the increased
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influx of low AMQ messages from offline reader wizards.
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As a function of this, I have discovered the beauty of the QQ
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command in Prodoor. It is a quick scan of the message base. It shows
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the author of a message, who it is to, the date, and the subject. As a
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result, I employ it greatly to limit the amount of reading that I am
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forced to do. For instance, there are between 4 and 8 people whose
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messages I ignore completely and utterly. Using the QQ command, I can
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spot them, skip over them, and then read messages from other people.
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And with the plethora of low AMQ messages out there, I am forced to skip
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over more and more messages from all types of people. Which is a shame,
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since I am sure that they would eventually have something that is
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worthwhile reading. But with the sheer quantities of messages that can
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be left with the offline readers, I cannot spend the time to read them.
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The upshot: I sure hope that the individual sysop thinks that the
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tradeoff of more users to crappier messages is a fair one to make. I
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cannot see that as the case, which is one reason why I am not on many
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boards any more. Also, for those of you whom I ignore: You made your
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bed, and now you must lie in it. If you hadn't left so many messages, I
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wouldn't be forced to ignore yours.
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Now, on with the rest of the issue. Scott Hollifield has
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(theoretically, as of this time, it has still not been seen) finally
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finished the BBS survey. Sid Browning wrote something about some kind
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of terminal software. The Profile is apparently Colby Gibson (note my
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comment in the middle of paragraph 4), and he also wrote an article
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about something having to do with electronics. Poindexter Henson wrote
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a little bit about adult oriented networks and bulletin boards. And
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Eric Hunt is scheduled to present the best, or at least most legible,
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responses to the questionnaire from the party at Kathy and Mark Maisel's
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house.
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One more thing I must add. I had the dubious honor of helping
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Scott Hollifield with the compilation of the BBS survey. I have to
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admit that I am VERY disappointed by the number of you that listed
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yourself as being your favorite user. Also, you sysops (Hi Kelly,
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Kathy) that listed their board as their favorite board. Such egotism is
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not healthy. Which reminds me, why did I get so many votes for least
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favorite user from the Teleguard boards? Hell, I don't even use 'em,
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let alone abuse them. I guess it is like Oscar Wilde said, "The only
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thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about". I like
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to think of this as my own personal mantra.
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ed. Please feel free to respond to this editorial with one of your own.
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The editorial space is open for pretty much anything you'd like for our
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readers to read. I do reserve content and editorial control, though you
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can see that it is done sparingly. MM
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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THE THIRD ANNUAL UNOFFICIAL BIRMINGHAM BBS POLL
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----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Results Gathered, Compiled and Snickered At By
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**> TYROS <**
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Well, I guess you might say that it's about time. Yes, it is indeed
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about time for the most eagerly awaited event in the Birmingham BBS
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scene, and that's the unveiling of the results for our annual BBS survey
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(or "poll", take your pick).
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This year, I'm a little late in getting the results out, so I can see
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how some people might be a bit impatient to get to the goods and skip
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all my witty introductory rambling. If you're viewing this on a word
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processor with search capability, do a search for the word "umfwhoodle"
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and that will put you right at the results. If not, tough beans; I can
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use an audience.
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---------------------------------
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COMPLETELY IMPRACTICAL DISCLAIMER
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---------------------------------
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Okay, I've decided to make my disclaimer a yearly tradition with the
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survey since there's always someone who complains anyway. So I'd like
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to stress, as usual, that this whole survey business is a fun exercise
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that exists for no other reason than to entertain the masses. I make no
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claims as to Gallup-level accuracy, so if you disapprove of my methods,
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then I suggest you support the free enterprise system and make your own
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survey. And if you're offended by anything you see here, then don't
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blame me. You can leave me a message so that I can intellectually smash
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you and your ego publicly, which is the punishment I mete to all comers,
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but don't blame me personally.
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----------------
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BEHIND THE SCENE
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----------------
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If you're anyone who's anyone, you know at least vaguely how this thing
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works, and you'll teach your children as well, but if not, a brief
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explanation:
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The list of 30 questions was written up by me, and based mostly on the
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list of questions we used last year. I offered to run the survey as a
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built-in questionnaire on every board I could call that I thought might
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be able to technologically handle it, and as a result, the survey was
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installed and answers were culled from a record *eighteen* boards. This
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is twice as many boards that ran it last year. The following systems
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hosted the survey this time around:
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American BBS Alter Ego Bus System
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Central Quest Channel 8250 Commodore Zone
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Crunchy Frog The Connection Joker's Castle
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Little Kingdom Magnolia The Matrix
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Outer Limits Owl's Nest Radio Free Troad
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Sperry ST BBS Total Recall
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If you don't see your board's name on this list, then that means one of
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the following things:
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(1) Your board does not use PCBoard, WWIV, or Telegard software, which
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were the ones I was working to get the questionnaires integrated
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on.
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(2) Your board runs the correct software but I never saw you respond to
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my invitation to sponsor the survey.
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(3) Your board is long distance from where I live.
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(4) You asked to run the survey and I somehow, some way, inexplicably,
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didn't get around to fixing you up. If you fall into this
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category, my sincerest and most heartfelt apologies. This year,
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like the past two years, things were a little loose concerning
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survey organization and I daresay that I might have overlooked
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someone, so please let me know if this happened to you.
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(5) You don't run a board.
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-----------
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BIG NUMBERS
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-----------
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Yes, it's the lean hard data first - that is, the AGES of you who
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participated.
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For the first time, I've decided to publicly reveal the number of people
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who voted on each board. Examine this and marvel at how so much power
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can be wielded by so few.
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TOTAL MEAN
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USERS AGE
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----- -----
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The Matrix 116 30.3
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ST BBS 45 28.9
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Channel 8250 33 30.4
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Crunchy Frog 26 22.9
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Bus System 24 38.3
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Alter Ego 22 29.7
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Total Recall 18 19.3
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Commodore Zone 16 23.8
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Connection 16 31.1
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Outer Limits 16 20.8
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Sperry 13 31.5
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Central Quest 12 18.1
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American BBS 9 35.8
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Little Kingdom 8 24.5
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Radio Free Troad 8 29.8
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Joker's Castle 7 24.9
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Owl's Nest 6 28.2
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Magnolia 4 21.3
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-----
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TOTAL 399
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Note that if you voted more than once (and there were several of you), I
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only counted the questionnaire I saw first. Last year, I figured out
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statistical data like median ages, modes, etc. If you're really
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interested in that stuff, let me know and I'll let you borrow the
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age-results, but I just didn't feel like laying the ages of 116 Matrix
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users in a row and picking out the middle one.
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----------------
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BAUD TO THE BONE
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----------------
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As was the case last year, the overwhelming majority of you are 2400ers.
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Here are the hard data.
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2400 baud : 263
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1200 baud : 95
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9600 baud : 14
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300 baud : 10
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19,200 baud : 9
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14,400 baud : 3
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38,000 baud : 2
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4800 baud : 1
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refused to answer : 2
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That really is an amazingly low number of people who refused to answer,
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as you'll see from some of the other questions.
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-----------------
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THROUGH THE YEARS
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-----------------
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One of the questions was "How long have you been using BBSs?" Here's how
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the BBS experience of our voters stacked up:
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less than 6 months: 57
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between 6 months and 1 year: 62
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1 year: 27
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2 years: 54
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3 years: 51
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4 years: 30
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5 years: 37
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6 years: 10
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7 years: 10
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8 years: 11
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9 years: 4
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10 years: 4
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more than 10 years: 2
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No clever wisecrack here; just my profound astonishment and sorrow that
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there are people who have actually been doing this for over 10 years.
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-----------------
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THE MAIN "AWARDS"
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-----------------
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FAVORITE BBS: (top 10) points
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------
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1. THE MATRIX 264
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2. Crunchy Frog 81
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3. Channel 8250 53
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4. ST BBS 51
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5. Willie's Dial-Your-Match 47
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6. Sperry 46
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7. Myth Drannor 40
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8. Alter Ego 39
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9. Little Kingdom 32
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10. The Connection 31
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Before you start adding it up and getting a number that exceeds 399, let
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me say that this category (and two others, Favorite Sysop and Favorite
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User) were figured on a point system. You voted for a Favorite and a
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Second Favorite; a board voted for Favorite got 2 points, and one voted
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for Second Favorite got 1 point.
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Statistical skeptics will note that eight out of the ten boards listed
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here sponsored the survey, which is a sure way to get at least a few
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votes. Nobody ever accused this survey of being completely impartial.
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Still, if you want to discount those boards and consider Willie's
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Dial-Your-Match the "real" number one board, go right ahead.
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LEAST FAVORITE BBS: (top 10)
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votes
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-----
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1. The Connection 27
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2. Byte Me! 25
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3. Crunchy Frog 17
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4. Bus System 8
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4. Channel 8250 8
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4. Radio Free Troad 8
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7. American BBS 6
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7. The Matrix 6
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7. Sperry 6
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7. Ziggy UNaXess 6
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As in past surveys, users were often reluctant to speak ill of anything
|
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or anyone in the Birmingham BBS scene, which explains the slack vote on
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a lot of these controversial questions. I hope that, by showing you how
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few people voted on these things, I'm letting the appropriate people
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know how silly it would be to get worked up over something like this.
|
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FAVORITE SYSOP: (top 10)
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points
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------
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1. ROCKY RAWLINS 117
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2. Monty 75
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3. Steve Turner 39
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4. Maggie Harden 34
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5. Razor Eater 28
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6. Willie Moore 26
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7. Bill Freeman 25
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8. Randy Hilliard 24
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8. Kelly Rosato 24
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10. Tim Straughn 10
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Whoo, another landslide. Good job to all the sysops.
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LEAST FAVORITE SYSOP (top, er, 6)
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votes
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-----
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1. Omega Ohm 31
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2. Bill Freeman 20
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3. Kelly Rosato 7
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3. Quaid 7
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5. Blue Diamond 6
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6. Dean Costello 5
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Another slack vote, to say the least. People afraid of getting their
|
||
security levels dropped, no doubt. An interesting note is that Dean
|
||
Costello, in his one week as the fiendish fascist temporary sysop of
|
||
Crunchy Frog, generated enough negative public reaction to be placed in
|
||
this category.
|
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|
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BUSIEST BBS: (top 10)
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votes
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-----
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1. The Matrix 98
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2. Crunchy Frog 37
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3. Sperry 27
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4. Camelot 18
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5. Magnolia 17
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||
5. Myth Drannor 17
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||
7. Alter Ego 15
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||
7. Willie's DYM 15
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||
9. The Connection 12
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||
10. Joker's Castle 9
|
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|
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Up until this year, there was a category called "Least Busiest BBS", and
|
||
both years, the winner was, of course, The Matrix. I dropped that
|
||
category this year, thinking: "Well, The Matrix will just win again."
|
||
Now I'm not sure. The Matrix is such a popular board that it made
|
||
"busiest" despite its unprecedented five phone lines. Congratulations to
|
||
Willie's for achieving a similar honor with four.
|
||
|
||
|
||
BBS DOWN THE MOST: (top 5)
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. The Matrix 27
|
||
2. The Connection 16
|
||
3. Willie's DYM 15
|
||
4. Camelot 9
|
||
4. Shadetree 9
|
||
|
||
Looks like some of the busiest boards were also down a lot. Or maybe
|
||
some users interpreted constant busy signals as a sign that their
|
||
favorite board was down.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE BBS SOFTWARE:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. PCBoard 118
|
||
2. Teleguard 25
|
||
3. WWIV 22
|
||
4. Image 11
|
||
5. Oracomm 8
|
||
5. ProDoor 8
|
||
|
||
As usual, LOTS of people misinterpreted this question and put answers
|
||
like "games", "business software", and "x-rated pictures". No, we're
|
||
not interested in that. However, notice that PCBoard kept its
|
||
traditional lead over the johnny-come-latelys.
|
||
|
||
|
||
LEAST FAVORITE BBS SOFTWARE:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. WWIV 54
|
||
2. PCBoard 24
|
||
3. Oracomm 15
|
||
3. Teleguard 15
|
||
5. Image 12
|
||
5. RBBS 12
|
||
|
||
"I wouldn't use software I don't like!" cried one user, and his adamant
|
||
refusal to answer the question was fairly typical. I may eliminate this
|
||
and similar questions next year. Maybe I should extend that reasoning
|
||
to the Least Favorite User question, since perhaps most people refuse to
|
||
learn about people that they don't like.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE FILE LIBRARIES:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. The Matrix 226
|
||
2. Sperry 19
|
||
3. Camelot 12
|
||
4. Alter Ego 7
|
||
5. Radio Free Troad 5
|
||
|
||
Was there any doubt who would win this one - the third year running now?
|
||
Ordinarily, I might make some smart-aleck comment about Sperry, but in
|
||
light of such an embarrassing second-place showing, I think I'll
|
||
refrain.
|
||
|
||
|
||
LEAST FAVORITE FILE LIBRARIES:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Magnolia 22
|
||
2. Willie's DYM 20
|
||
3. Joker's Castle 10
|
||
3. ST BBS 10
|
||
3. Total Recall 10
|
||
|
||
To me, now, this is kind of like voting on which board's modem tone you
|
||
like the least. Who cares? Not I, and that's all that counts.
|
||
Thpthpth.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE MESSAGE BASES:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Crunchy Frog 58
|
||
2. The Matrix 40
|
||
3. Channel 8250 24
|
||
3. Willie's DYM 24
|
||
5. Alter Ego 21
|
||
|
||
This turned out like I expected it would, except I really didn't expect
|
||
Sperry to come in sixth place with 10 votes. In retribution, I left
|
||
that off the chart. (Nothing personal against that BBS, by the way, now
|
||
that I realize I've made my second Sperry joke)
|
||
|
||
|
||
LEAST FAVORITE MESSAGE BASES:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. The Matrix 29
|
||
2. Sperry 17
|
||
3. Radio Free Troad 11
|
||
4. Channel 8250 9
|
||
5. Crunchy Frog 7
|
||
5. D3 Systems 7
|
||
5. Sperry 7
|
||
|
||
I enjoy seeing Crunchy Frog rack up votes here, like it did last year,
|
||
because some users get so darn annoyed at the silliness that goes on
|
||
there. "Too many kids!" complained one 15-year-old voter.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE USER:
|
||
|
||
points
|
||
------
|
||
1. Dean Costello 41
|
||
2. Mark Maisel 37
|
||
3. Maggie Harden 26
|
||
4. Me (Tyros) 22
|
||
5. Mrjoey 8
|
||
5. Janet Tyner 8
|
||
5. Col. Croninger 8
|
||
8. Chris Mohney 7
|
||
8. Brett Thorn 7
|
||
8. Henry Barfoot 7
|
||
|
||
I think we can safely chalk Dean's showing here up to sheer visibility.
|
||
Remind me to post more messages this year. Either that or run more
|
||
surveys. If your name appears here, it means that at least 4 people
|
||
thought of you. Pat yourself on the back.
|
||
|
||
|
||
LEAST FAVORITE USER:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Omega Ohm 18
|
||
2. Steve Brian 9
|
||
3. Dean Costello 7
|
||
3. Mrjoey 7
|
||
3. Kelly Rosato 7
|
||
6. Ricky Eanes 5
|
||
|
||
Naturally slack. Virtually everyone had some singular nemesis that they
|
||
wanted to vote for. Consider that we had nearly 400 voters, then it's
|
||
not so bad even if your name does appear here. After all, who wants to
|
||
be universally loved?
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAIREST FILE TRANSFER RATIO:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
10:1 65
|
||
No ratio at all 60
|
||
5:1 46
|
||
2:1 27
|
||
3:1 21
|
||
greater than 10:1 17
|
||
4:1 14
|
||
1:1 9
|
||
less than 1:1 9
|
||
7:1 4
|
||
6:1 2
|
||
8:1 2
|
||
9:1 1
|
||
|
||
122 people didn't care enough to vote for this question, or put down
|
||
something completely incomprehensible. I don't speak integral calculus,
|
||
so the best I could do was reduce your improper fractions.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE ONLINE GAME:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Guppies 23
|
||
2. Trade Wars 22
|
||
3. Global War 14
|
||
4. Esterian Conquest 11
|
||
4. Turbochess 11
|
||
6. Operation: Overkill 9
|
||
7. Dragon's Hoard 8
|
||
|
||
I lumped all the different versions of a particular game into the same
|
||
slot for this question, so those 23 votes represent Super Guppies,
|
||
Guppies Supreme, Guppies Au Gratin, and all the other variations.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Star Trek: The Next Generation 41
|
||
2. The Simpsons 21
|
||
3. Cheers 20
|
||
4. L.A. Law 12
|
||
4. M*A*S*H 12
|
||
4. Twin Peaks 12
|
||
7. Star Trek 11
|
||
8. Night Court 9
|
||
8. Quantum Leap 9
|
||
10. CNN (Cable News Network) 8
|
||
|
||
All right, a feisty battle at last. The results from this question were
|
||
*much* better than last year's. More of you are wasting time with your
|
||
eyes glued to the television. Good, good.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTIST:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
1. Pink Floyd 13
|
||
2. Led Zeppelin 11
|
||
3. Phil Collins 10
|
||
4. Billy Joel 7
|
||
4. U2 7
|
||
|
||
No surprises here. Last year's dark-horse favorite, Willie Nelson,
|
||
failed to show up in this year's running. I suppose I should blame Farm
|
||
Aid IV.
|
||
|
||
|
||
DO YOU READ BTN?:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
No 187
|
||
Yes 117
|
||
Sometimes 67
|
||
|
||
BTN is, of course, Birmingham Telecommunications Newsletter, which you
|
||
have to know if you're reading this. Hmm, that means that about half of
|
||
the people who answered this question won't see these results, or are
|
||
reading BTN for the first time. If this is your first time, please keep
|
||
reading. Thank you.
|
||
|
||
|
||
FIRST TIME ANSWERING THE SURVEY?:
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
Yes 303
|
||
No 72
|
||
|
||
These results really floored me. A 76% first-time rate. I can't figure
|
||
out where all of last year's voters went to. Then again, maybe only 72
|
||
people voted last year.
|
||
|
||
|
||
DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SURVEY NEXT YEAR?
|
||
|
||
votes
|
||
-----
|
||
Yes 319
|
||
No 13
|
||
Uncommitted 23
|
||
|
||
|
||
Hmm, an 79.95% Yes rating, which is down from last year's 90.52%. I'm
|
||
not quite sure what to make of it. Maybe you're not as enthusiastic
|
||
about this year's survey. Maybe I shouldn't put as much effort into it.
|
||
Maybe I should DELAY THESE RESULTS BY A FEW MONTHS.
|
||
|
||
|
||
------------------------------------
|
||
WAIT, YOU FORGOT A QUESTION! PART 1
|
||
-------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
This year, we asked, just for fun, one thing that you were SICK AND
|
||
TIRED of. By far, the most popular answer had something to do with
|
||
Saddam Hussein or the military operation in the Middle East. Keep in
|
||
mind that this was during the month of December, so war hadn't broken
|
||
out yet. I shudder to think what the results would've been like now.
|
||
|
||
Other things that got a lot of mention were everyman hassles like taxes,
|
||
rush hour traffic, and liberal politicians. Some voters took this as an
|
||
opportunity to vent discontent for the survey itself. "Too long," yawned
|
||
one person. Someone else called it "boring". Still other participants
|
||
used this question to bash their least favorite user again, coming down
|
||
again Dean Costello's rants or Kelly Rosato's smart mouth. People
|
||
clearly had different priorities. It was kind of heartening, after 20
|
||
people grumbling about the national deficit, to see one teenage voter
|
||
complain about his younger brother, confiding, "he's a twerp." Here are
|
||
my ten favorite answers, in no particular order:
|
||
|
||
1. Subs Where people post there opinions
|
||
2. Democrats and Republicans eating my wallet
|
||
3. Leeches, but I am sure my name looks like one so I say No mo ((I have
|
||
no idea what that means - the voter's name looked innocuous enough to
|
||
me - but it sounded amusing))
|
||
4. people saying mothers don't do anything
|
||
5. Being kicked off a board because my son registers w/same pho
|
||
6. foul mouth kids online and rich brats that have bbs
|
||
7. bbs's w/ 10 min logons and restricted access that want $ 1st
|
||
8. People complaining
|
||
9. Kids acting as if bbs's owe them something
|
||
10. inconsiderate people who litter and loaf
|
||
|
||
Notice that pretty much everyone ignored the bit in the question that
|
||
said "six words or less".
|
||
|
||
|
||
------------------------------------
|
||
WAIT, YOU FORGOT A QUESTION! PART 2
|
||
-------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Last year, as this year, I included a question that asked for your
|
||
suggestions concerning the next survey. One thing I was worried about
|
||
was that people might get irate at having their suggestions ignored, all
|
||
in the name of frivolous fun and public lunacy, despite the fact that I
|
||
took each and every suggestion under consideration, even the perverted
|
||
ones. So what I'm going to do this year is this: I'm going to round
|
||
up the suggestions I got this year, take the most common or relevant
|
||
ones, and address them directly in a special post-survey article for
|
||
BTN. This article will be appearing in the next issue of BTN, so watch
|
||
for it, and thanks for your suggestions.
|
||
|
||
|
||
------------------------------
|
||
LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
|
||
------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Well, that will about wrap things up for this year.
|
||
|
||
I do want to thank a few people, first and foremost Dean Costello, my
|
||
co-compiler, who helped me scribble results and let me mess up his
|
||
apartment for the purposes of this survey. It will be my special
|
||
farewell gift to Dean that I allow him the chance to read this file,
|
||
which he helped create, so that he may expire peacefully back to
|
||
Maryland from whence he came, now that he's finished graduate school.
|
||
|
||
I also want to thank the godlike patience and fortitude of BTN publisher
|
||
Mark Maisel, who didn't demand for this article on deadline but instead
|
||
let me continue on blissfully under the delusion that there was no
|
||
hurry, no hurry at all. It is due to his monthly struggles that you are
|
||
able to read this now.
|
||
|
||
A special thanks needs to go out to the sysops who helped sponsor this
|
||
year's survey by allowing it to take up disk space on their hard drives,
|
||
particularly those sysops who worked extra hard to make my job easier -
|
||
meaning Tim Straughn, who wrote a special survey-script door just for
|
||
me, and Christian Minton, who helped expand our range by making the
|
||
survey Teleguard-compatible.
|
||
|
||
Thanks to all the users who took time out of their incredibly busy
|
||
existences to fill out the survey, and thanks also to anyone I may have
|
||
forgotten in my haste. It is 2 in the morning and I am rather tired, so
|
||
please blame Mr. Sandman, not me.
|
||
|
||
Finally, let me remind everyone to check out next month's BTN for
|
||
"Survey Suggestions" - and to look forward to Fall 1991, when work on
|
||
the Fourth Annual Unofficial Birmingham BBS Survey will commence. If you
|
||
want to talk to me about the survey concerning anything having to do
|
||
with it, leave me mail on Crunchy Frog (956-1755) - my handle there is
|
||
"TY ROS", with a space between the Y and the R. Until then, good night.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
A few thoughts from a Semi-Retired Sysop....
|
||
by Lurch Henson
|
||
|
||
Well, Mark went and did it. He offered me a chance to write
|
||
something for BTN. After careful consideration, and a small suggestion,
|
||
I decided to write about several things that are interconnected, all
|
||
concerning Adult messaging on BBSs. I myself ran what could have been
|
||
called the most successful Adult oriented BBS in Lower Alabama, right up
|
||
until my divorce killed it. I enjoyed doing so for so long, I will be
|
||
putting it back online as soon as I have a place to live and a phone to
|
||
do it on. During the entire time I ran the BBS, which could not have
|
||
been called "low-key" in any sense of the word, a strange change began
|
||
to come over the other Sysops in the area that had "hidden" Adult
|
||
sections on their BBSs. Word began to come through some of the Nets
|
||
about Adult messaging being illegal, and that some Sysops were going to
|
||
jail, or worse, having all of their computer equipment confiscated by
|
||
the FCC. No one could confirm any of these rumors, but they began to
|
||
have their effects. Sysops began to become distrustful and suspicious.
|
||
They began calling each other late at night and asking about New Users,
|
||
fearing each new call, waiting for the one that would be the FBI coming
|
||
to get them. Throughout all of this I remained basically calm. When I
|
||
first decided to go public with my Adult Only BBS, I had done a little
|
||
research on my own. It would seem that "technically speaking", passing
|
||
pornographic materials over the phone across state lines IS illegal,
|
||
though I could find no case of any criminal charges being brought by the
|
||
FCC. When I called the FCC and asked them, they said that the policy
|
||
was to "ignore" private BBSs, because of the high cost of trying to shut
|
||
them all down. That they would only act if there were a complaint. That
|
||
was basically what I expected, from my knowledge of how they treated
|
||
radio offenders.
|
||
|
||
Re-assured by this, I went ahead and opened up my BBS for public
|
||
use, it having been an Invite Only BBS before then. Since I had been a
|
||
Sysop and Co-Sysop in the area for several years, I knew almost every
|
||
person that called in, so Validations went quickly. On the few people
|
||
that I did not know, I requested a Xerox of their Driver's License or
|
||
Military ID, or offered to meet them in person to satisfy myself they
|
||
were over 18 (my minimum age for Adult Access). Out of the many Users I
|
||
soon had calling my BBS, I met several, and only had to file two copies
|
||
of ID. By this time, many of the Sysops in the area had begun to delete
|
||
their Adult Users until ALL of them furnished ID proving age, which made
|
||
little sense, since they also knew almost all of their Users. I was
|
||
able to reason with a few of them, and only really failed with one. He
|
||
had gone to a lawyer, who had informed him that the ONLY way to protect
|
||
himself was to have ID on file for EVERY User that had Adult access. I
|
||
tried to show him that this was not true, that he would only need proof
|
||
on those he did not know, because an ID problem would never arise with
|
||
someone he KNEW was over his minimum age. He refused to accept this,
|
||
and so I furnished him with a copy of my ID.
|
||
|
||
The main reason I did this was because of a marvelous Net I had
|
||
discovered over a year before. I was making a few long distance
|
||
telephone calls, and discovered a brand new Net, one that was only
|
||
echoing to about 5 BBSs, but that interested me because of it's content.
|
||
I had just discovered ThrobNet, an Adult Only Net System with a lot of
|
||
ambition. I talked with the Sysop of the Hearthrob BBS, the home base
|
||
for the Net, and got to know him pretty well. I began to spread the
|
||
word about ThrobNet, and slowly, over the next year, it had exploded
|
||
across the country, growing quite large and diverse. In the beginning,
|
||
I was calling long distance to New Jersey, where HTBBS is located, about
|
||
once a week, which was getting a little too expensive for me at 1200
|
||
baud. Unfortunately, I had discovered several people that shared many of
|
||
my wide and diverse interests, not all of which included the Adult
|
||
aspects of the Net. Out of respect for the others online, we limited
|
||
our non-Adult msging to Receiver Only msgs, but made full use of all the
|
||
available sections online. Not long after deciding that I could not do
|
||
without the continued contact with so many of the good friends I had
|
||
rapidly made, I upgraded to 2400 baud, which lessened the pressure the
|
||
phone company was putting on me. Unfortunately, the pressure was still
|
||
overwhelming, so I talked one of the IBM BBSs in my area into echoing
|
||
ThrobNet. The Sysop called in, got an application, and before too long,
|
||
there was a ThrobNet Node in my area.
|
||
|
||
Now, all of the Users of my BBS were suddenly given a much larger
|
||
exposure to Adult msging, because by this time ThrobNet had grown
|
||
considerably, and there were constantly new msgs coming in from all over
|
||
the country. Most of my Users were overwhelmed, and did not
|
||
participate, just read the msgs and then logged off. A select few
|
||
jumped in with both feet, and my wife smiled, happy that I was no longer
|
||
calling to NJ to keep in touch. I soon made a small reputation for
|
||
myself, along with one or two of the Ladies on the Net, and I was
|
||
replying to upwards of 40 msgs a day. The Net covers many Adult
|
||
subjects with it's Conferences, and not all of them are just people
|
||
"talking dirty" to each other. There is a "SexHelp" Conference, for
|
||
people that feel they need advice from others concerning problems they
|
||
may be having, or just want opinions from others that may have gone
|
||
through an experience they may be going through now. There is an
|
||
"Issues" Conference, where people discuss issues concerning Sexually
|
||
Active people everywhere, whether they be disease or legislation, or
|
||
anywhere in between. There is a "Writers" Conference, obviously for
|
||
those of us who are aspiring writers. Here people can submit some of
|
||
their writing for critique, or discuss story ideas with other Users, or
|
||
even write a continuing story, with a different User writing each
|
||
installment, and a "Gay" Conference, concerning matters of importance to
|
||
homosexual members of society.
|
||
|
||
Then, of course, come the many Conferences dedicated to the
|
||
practice and discussion of....well, sex. Though not unlimited, there
|
||
are quite a few Conferences available, covering many different aspects
|
||
of the subject. A partial listing of topics includes "Fantasy", where
|
||
Users describe and share, and sometimes help each other create, their
|
||
fantasies. "SexTalk", a conference where people come to specifically
|
||
write msgs to each other, written as if they people involved were
|
||
actually doing the things mentioned in the msgs. This is the Conference
|
||
where you are supposed to come to "act out" the things discussed
|
||
elsewhere. "S&M", dedicated to the practice of that particular
|
||
sideline. Not one of my favorite Conferences, but I do occasionally
|
||
look in to see what is going on. "Swingers", a Conference where people
|
||
into "swinging" can go to discuss subjects relative to them, or even
|
||
make contacts for later encounters. And several other Conferences which
|
||
escape me at the moment, except for these last two, less Adult Oriented,
|
||
but no less a vital part of ThrobNet.
|
||
|
||
"Violet's" is an Online bar. This is a place where you can come
|
||
and relax before or after your activities in other sections on the Net,
|
||
and can enjoy the delightful company of Violet, the barmaid and owner of
|
||
the bar, and the wife of the owner of the Net. Violet is one of the
|
||
many things that make ThrobNet a very enjoyable experience, even if you
|
||
only choose to engage her in conversation, and not ask her to join you
|
||
in another section of the Net (which she will do, if she likes you
|
||
enough). And then, the other Conference, one which I have yet to enter,
|
||
but I feel I shall have to sooner or later, if only out of curiosity.
|
||
This last conference is called "Monty", and is oddly enough dedicated to
|
||
those Monty Python fans throughout the country.
|
||
|
||
I myself would like to see one of the Birmingham BBSs become a Node
|
||
on ThrobNet, both to share my friends with those I've made here in
|
||
B'ham, and to allow continued contact with these same friends once I am
|
||
no longer able to travel to Birmingham myself. I have a feeling that
|
||
many of you would enjoy yourselves enormously. ThrobNet is the single
|
||
most responsive of the many Nets I have had the pleasure to be active
|
||
in, and I've met a wide variety of people on it. Writers, military,
|
||
consultants in many fields, executives, Crafters, geniuses and idiots,
|
||
and many, many friends....
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Better Sound Through Technology
|
||
by Colby Gibson
|
||
|
||
Being a music lover (no comments, please!) and a user, I love to do
|
||
stereo experiments. Having done quite a few, I have hit upon several
|
||
combinations that can help you get more out of your TV, stereo, and VCR.
|
||
And speakers, to that matter.
|
||
|
||
Please understand that I know many of you can do all of the things
|
||
mentioned hereafter. This is only to help the ordinary person out a bit.
|
||
|
||
1. The Wimpy TV speaker.
|
||
|
||
The little things that come in conventional TVs don't usually cut
|
||
the mustard. Not enough bass, too little treble, and it won't go loud
|
||
enough, etc. Do this:
|
||
|
||
Go down to radio shack, and get a little speaker, say one with a
|
||
small woofer and a small tweeter. Come home and open up your TV. You
|
||
should be able to reach the little speaker in the front. If you can, you
|
||
will notice two little wires attached to the TV. Get a soldering gun,
|
||
and disconnect the two wires. Solder on two extensions to those two
|
||
wires, and lead the extension outside of the TV and attach them to the
|
||
speaker you bought.
|
||
|
||
Remember, there is a certain pattern to the wires. there is a
|
||
positive and a negative polarity. The positive on should be denoted by a
|
||
white line on it or a red sheath. That is the one that should be
|
||
connected to the positive terminal on the speaker.
|
||
|
||
2. The VCR problem..
|
||
|
||
At the last BTN party, i noticed that Mark Maisel has already done
|
||
this to his. On the back of ANY VCR, there will be 1 or 2 jacks labeled
|
||
"AUDIO OUT". (There will be two on stereo models). You should get a good
|
||
bit of cord which has RCA connectors on the end. Connect the AUDIO OUT
|
||
port(s) on the back of the VCR into the AUX input on the rear of your
|
||
stereo receiver (provided you have one. If you don't, too bad.) Activate
|
||
the VCR and AUX input, and you will get a much better sound coming out
|
||
of the stereo.
|
||
|
||
3. I don't have a microphone.
|
||
|
||
Well, I don't either. I built one, however. I took a little bitty
|
||
speaker (one in Walkman headphones, they are the most sensitive.) and
|
||
ran the input into the microphone input of my receiver. It worked great,
|
||
despite a tad too much Bass. You can take ordinary headphones and do
|
||
that, just experiment and try it out.
|
||
|
||
4. The midrange trick.
|
||
|
||
The little wimpy speaker in your TV is probably what is called a
|
||
FULL RANGE speaker, meaning it projects MIDRANGE, BASS, and TREBLE
|
||
all together. Of course, its wattage (power intake) maximum is VERY
|
||
small, say a watt or so, so the BASS isn't real great. You can take this
|
||
FULLRANGE speaker, and transform it into a MIDRANGE or a TWEETER using a
|
||
capacitor. You'll have to experiment to find out what microfarad range
|
||
to use. You should then hook the capacitor between the speaker and the
|
||
fullrange. Be sure that if you are using an electrolytic capacitor to
|
||
connect the "+" wire on the capacitor to the first speaker, and the "-"
|
||
side to the fullrange. Leave the negative speaker wire alone. This
|
||
should work, just screw in the little fullrange to the speaker or stand
|
||
it up on something.
|
||
|
||
5. Wiretap a phone! (Just kidding, you can record off your phone,
|
||
though.)
|
||
|
||
You probably know by now that there are two cords that operate an
|
||
audio signal. That's the basis behind a phone wire system.
|
||
|
||
Strip open a phone cord, and bare out the red and green wires. You
|
||
can then take that and channel them into a tape recorder. It'll work
|
||
great, but it makes a lousy speakerfone. I tried, and I nearly blew up
|
||
my amplifier. You need a downstep transformer for something like that.
|
||
|
||
6. VHS is good tape!
|
||
|
||
Just so everybody that reads BTN can laugh, my tape deck can no
|
||
longer record. Yep, Bessie's knowledge of the world is growing shorter
|
||
by the leap.
|
||
|
||
I was thinking, " What else is there that I can record on?"
|
||
|
||
I came across it. The VCR. I ran the Audio outs on the tape player
|
||
into the audio in ports on the VCR and mashed Record. I tell you, it
|
||
worked better than I thought for analog tape.
|
||
|
||
If you have a desire to dub in something over something you are
|
||
already recording, go ahead and do what I have just told you. Of course,
|
||
you can't use it for a dubbing machine.
|
||
|
||
7. Let's talk stereo.
|
||
|
||
Let's not, because my wimpy VCR isn't. But, there some souls that
|
||
are fortunate to have them (My dad). Anyway, here is a list of parts and
|
||
equipment that I have and have put into use (or rather used but they
|
||
broke.)
|
||
|
||
A whole buncha stereo wire (I found mine laid out beside a railroad
|
||
track. Works great!)
|
||
1 Soldering Iron.
|
||
1 Pair Wire Strippers.
|
||
A Whole buncha RCA adapters.
|
||
A phillips head screwdriver.
|
||
Various and Sundry Resistors.
|
||
Various and Sundry Capacitors.
|
||
Speaker parts. (Radio Shack sells these. Real exorbitant, too!)
|
||
Woofers (that I saw) 4,8,10,12,15 inch.
|
||
They sell a whole BUNCH of midranges and tweeters.
|
||
SubWoofers 12 inch.
|
||
|
||
Maybe what I have written here helps some people get more out of
|
||
their sound. Maybe it makes some people go deaf. Maybe it helps some
|
||
people shock the hell out of themselves, but whatever the case, I hope
|
||
it has helped.
|
||
|
||
This much.
|
||
|
||
Really.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Why I Compute
|
||
By the enimit... inimit... <oh, forget it> R.J. Gumby
|
||
|
||
Actually, I have no idea.
|
||
|
||
No, that will never do. Maisel wants an ARTICLE, not a tagline.
|
||
Let's try this again. Hmm. Maybe a little history would help...
|
||
|
||
It all started on a day in mid-1981. It was mid-summer, and I was
|
||
bored. When my father came back from work bearing several large boxes, I
|
||
was naturally curious.
|
||
|
||
"What's that?"
|
||
|
||
"An Atari 800 computer."
|
||
|
||
"Well... what does it do?"
|
||
|
||
"Lots of things. You can type files and save them, you can run all
|
||
kinds of programs, and you can play games."
|
||
|
||
Well, I was hooked. Twenty minutes (and several puzzled searches
|
||
through the instructions) later, it was complete. An Atari 800 computer,
|
||
with 64K RAM, el cheapo mini-TV monitor, two joysticks, and a cassette
|
||
tape drive (ecch!). I immediately set to the first of the two games he'd
|
||
bought, "Canyon Climber". Indeed, I was hooked.
|
||
|
||
After moving up to a disk drive (and more and better games), I
|
||
figured I was set for life. After a few years of relatively stable
|
||
computing, my world was changed, yet again. This time, it was a modem.
|
||
|
||
"Okay, so what's this little thing?"
|
||
|
||
"A modem. It lets your computer... talk to others."
|
||
|
||
"Why would I want to do that?"
|
||
|
||
"Well, you can send messages back and forth, trade files, that kind
|
||
of thing."
|
||
|
||
"Why not? Plug it in."
|
||
|
||
So I began my oh-so-brief adventure with Compuserve. We had a
|
||
registration packet, and I signed up eagerly. I chatted with people from
|
||
across the nation. I played chess with a guy from California. I braved
|
||
the wilds of Flying Buffalo games.
|
||
|
||
I looked at the bill.
|
||
|
||
Oops. That ended pretty quick. I had heard of the local, free
|
||
boards, but had never deigned to actually call them. Now, since
|
||
Compuserve had turned out to be a bust, I decided to get out the list
|
||
and try a few. The first one on the list? "Birmingham BBS/Protective
|
||
Life".
|
||
|
||
At first, I was (VERY) wary. I mean, I was really new to this. I
|
||
took a look around the board. Messages... files... no big chat nets, and
|
||
I missed those. But I decided to give it a try. I dropped a few
|
||
messages, expecting to get blasted for saying the wrong thing. I checked
|
||
out the files (useless, as I found out. IBM games don't work on Atari
|
||
computers. Oops.) I looked at the bulletins...
|
||
|
||
A BBS list! Eagerly, I copied down the numbers. I disconnected, and
|
||
began trying them, one after the other.
|
||
|
||
And that's how I joined the Birmingham BBS scene. I called them all
|
||
- Gamer's Connection, the Race Base, Music Alley, Misty Mountain (once,
|
||
in fact, before I found out that 300 baud modems weren't looked upon
|
||
with favor). I was hooked.
|
||
|
||
Then I got the IBM.
|
||
|
||
"Oh, this is like your computer, right?"
|
||
|
||
"Almost." My father had been using an IBM for some months. I found
|
||
it entertaining, at most.
|
||
|
||
"Ok, what's the difference between this and the Atari?"
|
||
|
||
"Well, this one has more storage space, a faster modem, and you can
|
||
play better games on it."
|
||
|
||
"Sounds good to me. Let's hook it up."
|
||
|
||
It was a Franklin IBM PC/XT clone (still is, actually - I'm typing
|
||
this article on it) with a 20 meg hard drive, 640K RAM, a 1200 baud
|
||
modem, and a CGA monitor. (I know, I know. It was cool back then.)
|
||
|
||
I immediately noticed the change in speed. Messages no longer
|
||
crawled down the screen, they... walked. I downloaded a few files, and
|
||
figured out what ".ARC" meant. I joined more message bases. I thoroughly
|
||
enjoyed the new computer.
|
||
|
||
As I upgraded the old system, the BBS world changed. I moved up to
|
||
a 2400 baud modem, and was able to call Misty Mountain with impunity.
|
||
When it switched over to IBM, I was there. I was a member of Apple
|
||
Valley PCBoard before it left, and I was an eager user of Scott
|
||
Ferguson's Penny Arcade. I switched up to an EGA monitor with more
|
||
storage so I could get to the really GOOD games.
|
||
|
||
One last milestone... the Crunchy Frog.
|
||
|
||
"Crunchy Frog? Wait a minute, that had to be a joke!"
|
||
|
||
Indeed. In the Bus BBS's logoff screen, I had caught a glimpse of
|
||
the words "Crunchy Frog" and a telephone number. Being an avid Monty
|
||
Python fan, I (Officially) Got The Joke, and decided to call.
|
||
|
||
"Too much. Too much." I kept repeating it, like a mantra, as the
|
||
opening screen scrolled past.
|
||
|
||
"Your SysOp: Monty"? Hmm. Looks like they allowed handles. So what
|
||
was I going to do? I was already known on most of the boards as Time
|
||
Lord, but I wanted a change. I ran through the possibilities in my head.
|
||
|
||
"Hmm. The Bishop? No, I don't think so... Mr. Pither? Naahh... Ooo!
|
||
Sir Robin! No, no... think..."
|
||
|
||
As if of their own volition, my fingers typed, "R.J. Gumby".
|
||
|
||
"Hey, that'll do."
|
||
|
||
And the rest, they say, is history.
|
||
|
||
Now, then, why do I compute? Hey, it's fun. A release from the
|
||
normal, everyday kind of pressures. I get to be someone else... like a
|
||
Supreme Being warring with Dean for control of the known universe. Or
|
||
the mad scientist Time Lord from the ST BBS. Or His Eternal Majesty,
|
||
Pope Pope Pope, Praetor, General, Sir, D.D.S., D.V.M. (And All-Around
|
||
Nice Guy) R.J. Gumby.
|
||
|
||
So now you know.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
A Review of File Finder Pack
|
||
FFF33.ZIP. . . . 59,201 FF2.COM & FFF.EXE 10-02-90
|
||
by Henry Barfoot
|
||
|
||
Usage: Find files across hard drive(s),
|
||
directories/sub-directories,
|
||
inside archived files (ZIP ARC LZH)
|
||
|
||
Command line switches for both programs are configurable as
|
||
default and include:
|
||
|
||
Comma delimited listing Quiet mode
|
||
Full path name only Also look inside archives
|
||
Filename.ext only Only look inside archives
|
||
List in bat. file format Extended directory search
|
||
Pause when screen is full Greater or equal to mm-dd-yy
|
||
Single dir. search Less than or equal to mm-dd-yy
|
||
|
||
If you keep archived files on your hard drives, these programs should be
|
||
in your DOS path statement! Say, for instance, you want to find a
|
||
particular *.DBS file and you know it is in one of the (100 or so)
|
||
archived files on your hard drive but you don't know which one. You
|
||
could do a lot of searching through those archived files one at a time,
|
||
and still possibly overlook it. Or you could use one of these
|
||
(FF2.COM/FFF.EXE) handy programs and search all the files at once. The
|
||
output (or what these programs are finding) may be sent to the screen,
|
||
pausing at each screen full, or redirected to various kinds of output
|
||
files that you can LIST or edit on completion.
|
||
|
||
Some of these output files include: comma delimited listings, for
|
||
importing into spreadsheets or data base programs, listings that can be
|
||
used as batch files, long and short listings containing full path name
|
||
and filename only, respectively.
|
||
|
||
Finding files hidden inside of archives is just an excellent feature of
|
||
this file finding utility, not a limitation! Both programs can search
|
||
for any file across your drives using the full file name or the familiar
|
||
DOS wildcard characters.
|
||
|
||
As if this wasn't enough power, FFF.EXE (Fullscreen FileFinder) also has
|
||
programmed Hot Keys to call Vern Buerg's LIST.COM to browse a
|
||
highlighted file, Sammy Mitchell's Qedit program to edit a highlighted
|
||
file and Jim Derr's own !!SHEZ!, a complete archive shell program that
|
||
will do almost anything imaginable with archived files
|
||
|
||
With FF2 you can specify from (the command line) to execute a command on
|
||
all the files found in a search. This may be a DOS command or another
|
||
program to run on all the files found.
|
||
|
||
FFF.EXE, the Fullscreen Filefinder is even more flexible. It allows you
|
||
to search the same way as with FF2.COM but gives you the options of
|
||
highlighting a single file to run a command on, or tagging several files
|
||
found and running the same command on all of them. Or, with a simple
|
||
keystroke, you can jump to the directory of the highlighted file. You
|
||
may also execute any one of the newly found files with a keystroke.
|
||
|
||
Either of these files would be a great file finder, but they are both
|
||
included in the (FFF33.ZIP) archive. They will be well worth the small
|
||
registration fee required for continued use!
|
||
|
||
ed. This article appears courtesy of Files & Stuff Magazine and is
|
||
reprinted from the January 1991 issue. MM
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Review Of Commo Version 4.4
|
||
Terminal Emulation Program
|
||
by Sid Browning
|
||
|
||
|
||
COMMO, pronounced with a short O as in the word communication, is
|
||
a good terminal emulation program which takes very little memory to
|
||
operate. The program itself is smaller than 30k, add the support files
|
||
and the entire application is smaller than 45k. It can operate with
|
||
about 40k of free RAM.
|
||
|
||
My first reaction to such a small program was, "Ok, that's good if
|
||
you are in a memory crunch, but I like bells and whistles." But, COMMO
|
||
is not really as spartan as you would think. The application developer,
|
||
Fred P. Brucker, included a very versatile macro language which allows
|
||
the user to add some features that the program lacks. As an example,
|
||
COMMO has no built-in scroll-back capabilities. Scroll-back is a
|
||
feature that I use extensively. Brucker made it possible to accomplish
|
||
the same thing by adding a macro to review the capture file. Assuming
|
||
you have a capture file open, and a text viewer such as LIST or BROWSE,
|
||
you have a scroll-back feature. Of course, this is not as simple as
|
||
scroll-back, but it works.
|
||
|
||
The macro language itself is very simple and easy to use. Someone
|
||
with no programming knowledge whatsoever can write a macro for COMMO
|
||
after glancing over the documentation. It is a free-form structure
|
||
with only a few simple rules. All macro commands are contained in
|
||
braces {}. Three characters in braces are a macro identification.
|
||
Macros can be called from a key identification, from the macro processor
|
||
or macros can be called automatically from the dialing directory or upon
|
||
program start-up.
|
||
|
||
Macros may also be called by other macros. Macros can be written
|
||
with any ascii text editor, or with COMMO's built-in ascii text editor.
|
||
|
||
A few macros are contained in a sample macro file which can be used
|
||
immediately. PCBoard log-in scripts, Compuserve log-in scripts, DSZ
|
||
transfer protocols and scrollback are a few of the included macros.
|
||
|
||
One reason COMMO is so small is that the only built-in file
|
||
transfer protocol is for ascii transfers. There is good documentation
|
||
to explain how to add external protocols. It took me about 15 minutes
|
||
to download a DSZ package, unzip it and get it installed. The macro for
|
||
file transfers is already there. You simply have to tell COMMO where to
|
||
find the protocol files and it will take it from there, including
|
||
sounding an alarm when the transfer is complete. There is also a
|
||
capability for automatically receiving files when transferred with
|
||
certain protocols.
|
||
|
||
Although the addition of a protocol package adds to file space this
|
||
program will use, many users add a 55k DSZ package to a terminal
|
||
emulation program anyway. I will say that I prefer more information
|
||
during a transfer than is given by the DSZ package. So this is a
|
||
drawback to COMMO, but only a minor one.
|
||
|
||
An interesting part of COMMO is its on-line help feature. If the
|
||
user allows COMMO access to its 28k help file, there is context
|
||
sensitive help available at almost any time. It is a pretty simple
|
||
procedure to write a macro defining a key to bounce to any area of the
|
||
help file also. The interesting part is that the help file is an ascii
|
||
text file. The user can use COMMO's ascii editor to modify the help
|
||
file. I deleted a few parts I didn't need to make the file a little
|
||
smaller. If someone were setting up a system for a user that may need
|
||
more explicit instructions, this would be a useful feature.
|
||
|
||
The dialing directory is also an ascii text file which can be
|
||
edited and modified with COMMO's editor. The directory, like the
|
||
macros, also has a free form structure. It is the user's choice whether
|
||
to use features available from the directory. For example, if the code:
|
||
{00/00/00} is included as part of a directory entry, COMMO will
|
||
increment to keep track of the last date that entry was connected. If
|
||
your password is added to the directory entry, then pressing ALT-P will
|
||
send your password. As an alternative, macros can be a part of each
|
||
entry for automatic log-on. According to the documentation, it has room
|
||
for "hundreds of entries."
|
||
|
||
A few items that COMMO has which may not be unique, but deserve
|
||
mention include a switchable modem signal lights feature.
|
||
|
||
I haven't found this to be extremely useful, even with an internal
|
||
modem, but its interesting anyway to see what is going on with the phone
|
||
line. COMMO can use either the 8250, 16450 or the 16550 UART chip.
|
||
Like many other terminal emulation programs, COMMO will ask the user
|
||
whether it should initialize the modem on start-up. The program also
|
||
has a chat mode, a doorway mode, screen image save and a connection log.
|
||
|
||
One part of COMMO which may be a drawback to some users is that it
|
||
can only emulate three terminal types: ANSI, VT-102 and TTY. Another
|
||
flaw I found is that the text editor can only open the macro file, the
|
||
dialing directory file or the configuration file. It doesn't seem like
|
||
it would be that difficult to make the editor capable of being used for
|
||
editing messages and other things.
|
||
|
||
COMMO was written by Fred P. Brucker and can be registered for $25.
|
||
He will mail a copy of the program for $5, or it can be downloaded from
|
||
several Birmingham boards such as "The Crunchy Frog" and "Radio Free
|
||
Troad." Brucker will provide technical assistance by voice at (707)
|
||
573-1065 or through the "Directory Assistance" BBS at (707) 538-8710.
|
||
|
||
COMMO's documentation is fairly good, but brief. It is only sixty
|
||
six pages and can be printed in about half that, without losing anything
|
||
of substance, if you take the time to delete some extraneous material.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Review: The Telegard BBS
|
||
by Steven Capps, Remote Sysop: The Levee BBS
|
||
|
||
Last year, under the pen name of Duck Capps, I explored the
|
||
intricacies of a WWIV bulletin board system. Since then, several things
|
||
have happened. First off, both of the WWIV systems I was Co-Sysop of
|
||
went down due to various financial reasons. So, for about a 6 month
|
||
period, I was left without a place to wield power. Now, one of the BBS'
|
||
(The Electric Requiem) has come back up under a different name (The
|
||
Levee), and the other (The Cathouse) will be back up by the beginning of
|
||
March. Also, on The Levee I was promoted to Remote Sysop due to the vast
|
||
amounts of time I spent and still spend modding the board and keeping it
|
||
going. At any rate, both of the BBS's have undergone significant
|
||
changes, one of which is common to both: the BBS software. The new
|
||
software under scrutiny is Telegard.
|
||
|
||
The Telegard BBS is the brain child of three men: Martian Pollard
|
||
and Eric Oman, also known as the Telegard Development Team, and is
|
||
copyrighted by Oman Technologies Inc. The BBS's initial concept was
|
||
actually from WWIV, so Wayne Bell, the author of WWIV, actually is the
|
||
"Grandfather" of Telegard. Telegard has had many, many releases, the
|
||
latest of which, and incidentally, the last, is 2.5i. The reason it will
|
||
be the last will be discussed later. Telegard 2.5i is what will be used
|
||
for the examples in this article.
|
||
|
||
Telegard is the most versatile and modifiable boards I have had the
|
||
pleasure to work with. Unlike WWIV, you do not need the source code to
|
||
change things on the board, because everything can be changed to look
|
||
any you want it too from within the BBS. I can call remotely and decide
|
||
I don't like a prompt and change it's whole outlook in a matter of
|
||
minutes. You can personalize everything about the board, and you can
|
||
even make it call the user by name. It has MCI codes that can be used to
|
||
call user info into prompts, doors and texts files varying from handles
|
||
to the users address, all without any additional modding or programming.
|
||
|
||
The system is really sectioned off into three main sections, with
|
||
several other smaller specialized sections. The three main sections are:
|
||
The main section (seen when entering on most boards), the files section,
|
||
and the message base section. First we'll examine the main section of
|
||
the system.
|
||
|
||
When you first hook into a Telegard BBS, the first thing that
|
||
greets you is a line of text saying it is a Telegard system, who wrote
|
||
it and by whom it is copyrighted. After choosing ANSI or ASCII modes,
|
||
you are greeted with a welcome screen usually reflecting a little of the
|
||
boards attitude or personality. On The Levee, we have several screens
|
||
that have a Led Zeppelin tone, due to the fact that Led Zeppelin is the
|
||
theme of our board. This may seem very apparent, but you can tell alot
|
||
about how a system might be due to it's first impression. The you enter
|
||
your real name or handle (if allowed. All Birmingham Telegard system at
|
||
the writing of this article allow handles), your password, and --POOF--
|
||
your in. After that initial welcome is where you can tell how much a
|
||
sysop may have done with his board. It might have system news, status
|
||
screens, top twenty lists, quoters, and many other mods which all add to
|
||
the personality of the board. After all this initial hoopla, you will be
|
||
in the main section of the BBS. This is the section where every other
|
||
section can be accessed. This section is not the same on every system
|
||
because the commands, sections, menus, and prompts can all be changed to
|
||
taste. It could be changed to look like many other systems or a system
|
||
like no one has seen before of your own design! This is where you can go
|
||
to the voting booth, online games menu, personal data set-up menu, your
|
||
stats... The list goes on and on. You can also access the file and
|
||
message sections. Let's look now at the message set-up.
|
||
|
||
The message bases are set up strikingly familiar to WWIV's, but
|
||
with a more enhanced look. The different sections have a number and
|
||
name, usually displayed at the prompt. You can press "]" and "[" to go
|
||
up and down till you get to the sub of your choosing. When you get to a
|
||
sub you wish to look in on, you press the letter "S" for scan and it
|
||
asks you at which message to start. After entering the number, it
|
||
displays the titles of the next 10 messages with asterisks next to the
|
||
messages you haven't read yet. If you wish to scan all the new messages
|
||
in all the bases, press "N" at the main prompt for a global scan. You
|
||
can even set the bases you want to be scanned! (As I said, very similar
|
||
to WWIV).
|
||
|
||
On to the subject of netting. Well, let's be frank, with Telegard,
|
||
it's a ugly way to net, but it is there. You can net with FidoNet (the
|
||
world's largest data transmitting network, picked up by the Telegard
|
||
system The Outer Limits here in town), or you can net with other
|
||
Telegard's. You have a choice of two transmitting forms, group mail or
|
||
echo mail, both having advantages and disadvantages. This is the biggest
|
||
hassle with Telegard because of the massive amounts of time it takes to
|
||
set up and the extra programs needed to run it. The idea of a small
|
||
local Telegard net is being tossed around between ZoSo, the Sysop of The
|
||
Levee, Mickey Rat, the future sysop of The Cathouse, and myself. It
|
||
might take a while to implement though.
|
||
|
||
The file section, as in the message section, is set up very
|
||
similarly to WWIV's with one big difference, the amount of files that
|
||
can be put in one section. Telegard can hold up to twice the amount of
|
||
off-line file names or the actual files per section. After that, it get
|
||
strikingly familiar again, with batch modes and an archiving section to
|
||
look into files like WWIV. Again though, since the menu's and prompts
|
||
and commands can be changed, this can be made to look totally different
|
||
than when it was first initialized. All of this makes Telegard a choice
|
||
for a sysop with time and imagination on his hands.
|
||
|
||
While I am talking BBS software, let me get off the beaten path on
|
||
a question that has caused much debate on some WWIV's in the area
|
||
lately, the question of age pertaining to the type of software used. It
|
||
has been said by me that WWIV and Telegard system are for a younger
|
||
breed of sysop and not used by the older group of sysops here in
|
||
Birmingham. This made some people get mad because they thought the
|
||
systems were being called systems for "babies". This was not the case,
|
||
and I apologize for anyone who was offended. I simply stated that it was
|
||
usually the case in Birmingham. Outside the local BBS scene many older
|
||
people use the software and have since it came out in 1988. Again, I'm
|
||
sorry for any misunderstandings.
|
||
|
||
As I said earlier, this will be the last officially released
|
||
version of the Telegard system software. Eric Oman, one of the authors
|
||
of the BBS and owner of the company with it's copyright quit working on
|
||
it because "the fun has gone out of it", and slapped his co-author
|
||
Martin Pollard with a law suit when he tried to continue with the
|
||
project. But fear not, a new system, supposedly called Martygard, will
|
||
be out within the next year shaving execution time and memory size off
|
||
the Telegard format with all its advantages and more. It will even come
|
||
with a program to convert a Telegard system over to Martygard (So any
|
||
new sysops thinking about using Telegard but have heard the rumors, go
|
||
ahead and go for it.) Look for this exciting system in the area soon.
|
||
|
||
So, that's Telegard. A powerful yet easy to use system. User
|
||
friendly, as well as sysop friendly. Easily modifiable, yet not sloppy.
|
||
Thanks for your time, and look for updates on the local net and
|
||
Martygard as they come... Thanks to Jeff Vaughn (aka Zoso) for help on
|
||
some of the specs on Telegard.
|
||
|
||
Hasta Pasta....
|
||
|
||
WWIV is copyrighted by Wayne Bell 1987-1991
|
||
Telegard is copyrighted by Oman Technologies 1988-1990
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
BTN Party Questionnaire
|
||
by Eric Hunt
|
||
|
||
Here it is, what you've all been waiting for, the BTN Bash
|
||
Questionnaire results!!
|
||
|
||
On the night of January 19th, 1991, the first BTN party of the
|
||
TRUE 90's took place. As it was taking place, these strategically
|
||
placed questionnaires were circulating about the Maisel house. We
|
||
garnered 38 responses, a very healthy sampling, indeed.
|
||
|
||
The top five responses from each of the 25 questions will be
|
||
presented here, along with any other exceptionally weird or
|
||
noteworthy responses, along with my comments on most everything.
|
||
|
||
One last thing before I get started: You people are just plain
|
||
weird. That's all there is to it.
|
||
|
||
#1) Why are you here?
|
||
|
||
A) There wasn't room for me there
|
||
B) My car broke down on this street. I had to use your phone
|
||
C) Men in tight boxer shorts and loose socks.
|
||
D) For the fish of it. (* I have yet to figure this one out*)
|
||
E) I seek the holy Grail.
|
||
|
||
#2) No, really, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
|
||
|
||
A) Well, to be REALLY honest, I was hoping Dean would actually
|
||
strip this time! God what a body!
|
||
B) If you really want to know, I can't remember anything except
|
||
orange juice and a wet towel.
|
||
C) OK, I'm really an alien sent to watch social rituals of HOMO
|
||
SAPIENS
|
||
D) My time was out on Crunchy Frog
|
||
E) To find myself. (* Not at a BTN party, you won't, you're
|
||
more likely to become even more lost.*)
|
||
|
||
#3) Who did you come with?
|
||
This was a bad question for a BTN bash. Most of the answers
|
||
cannot be reported in a family publication such as ours. Make
|
||
your own conclusions.
|
||
|
||
A) My trusty manservant Patsy
|
||
B) I'm not sure.....what's his name......my husband.......
|
||
C) My alter ego, Bubba
|
||
D) Elvis Presley (* You didn't publicize it well enough, I'm
|
||
afraid)
|
||
E) A person. I think?
|
||
|
||
#4) Are you someone's proxy?
|
||
Unfortunately, quite a few people left this one blank. Here's
|
||
the Webster's dictionary definition of a "proxy:"
|
||
|
||
A) Proxy? You've just had something in your mouth that I
|
||
wouldn't hold in my hand!
|
||
B) Dean burped at me, so make your own decision. (* Were you
|
||
knocked over by the tequila fumes? *)
|
||
C) I don't book for nobody. Watch yo mouth!
|
||
D) Only if it is politically expedient
|
||
E) GOD (* Don't EVEN ask me what this person was thinking of
|
||
when he put that *)
|
||
|
||
#5) Did you park in the right place, etc?
|
||
|
||
A) C'mon, when are you guys gonna upgrade to teleportation?
|
||
B) I don't travel by car. (* If not, I'm afraid to ask what you
|
||
DO travel by. Hmmmmmm. *)
|
||
C) Oh Sh*! Back in a minute........
|
||
D) No. We got thrown out.
|
||
E) I don't drive I am 8 years old!! (* Sarah was taught
|
||
honesty, wasn't she? *)
|
||
|
||
Lastly, many many people attempted to park cars and/or space
|
||
cruisers of many descriptions on the roof. Modernists.
|
||
|
||
#6) Since it wasn't explicitly banned in the invitation, have you
|
||
felt Maggie's breasts? Was it good?
|
||
|
||
A) No, but I was shown some rather large ones in a lace teddy.
|
||
(* OK, Valeria was a showoff that night, don't gloat over
|
||
it! *)
|
||
B) No, but Kathy's were nice. (* Mark???? *)
|
||
C) No, the line was too big (* Maggie, is this a good or bad
|
||
sign? *)
|
||
D) As a matter of fact, I showered with them earlier this
|
||
evening! (* Shame on you Maggie, you know that causes
|
||
blindness! [grin] *)
|
||
E) It wasn't banned? Are you sure? Then hang on a minute while
|
||
I go hunt Maggie.... (* RUN, Maggie, RUN! *)
|
||
|
||
There were many other responses, all very interesting. This
|
||
was the most interesting question as far as responses go. One
|
||
last note: Maggie, we've asked everyone else THEIR opinion,
|
||
but in YOUR opinion, was it good?
|
||
|
||
#7) If 10 seconds of any part of your life could be recorded
|
||
permanently for all mankind to see for all eternity, what would
|
||
you be doing?
|
||
|
||
A) Feeling Maggie's breast (* Maggie must have had fun that
|
||
night *)
|
||
B) Scratching my armpit.
|
||
C) Stroking my.......spider (* What a MAN you are Kevin. I envy
|
||
you *)
|
||
D) What every idiot does in front of a camera: Wave and say
|
||
"HI! Mom!"
|
||
E) Using a .357 on my TI-99
|
||
|
||
By far the two most popular responses dealt with either
|
||
sleeping, or something perverted that cannot be printed here.
|
||
|
||
#8) What has Sarah said to you tonight? Was it profound?
|
||
|
||
A) Who's Sarah?
|
||
B) Doc!! You're late!!
|
||
C) Nothing -- I threatened her with her life if she spoke to
|
||
me.
|
||
D) "Be my love slave" It changed my life. (* No, I DON'T think
|
||
Sarah said that to you. You are obviously deluded *)
|
||
E) "I'm going to kick Michael someplace"
|
||
|
||
#9) Is Ricky Eanes here? If so, what has he said to you? Was it
|
||
profound?
|
||
|
||
A) He has already been taken care of by Richard Foshee.
|
||
B) I would kill him or break his little fingers (* Take heart,
|
||
Ricky, it's not as bad as it seems. Most people had no idea
|
||
who you were! Obviously, you are not working hard enough. *)
|
||
C) UK. (* You figure this one out, I sure can't *)
|
||
D) Ricky's absence is quite profound!
|
||
E) "Touch me naked!" (* Poor Ricky, first Mark wanted to bond
|
||
with him, and now this. *)
|
||
|
||
#10) How many drinks has Dean had?
|
||
|
||
A) I don't keep up with Dean....That's his mother's job....She
|
||
gets no more than a "D"
|
||
B) The way Dean mixes drinks, one will do.
|
||
C) Not enough to strip. (* Dean, ever considered a burlesque
|
||
career? *)
|
||
D) SAAB (* I haven't had any insight on this one yet, either*)
|
||
E) Infinity raised to the infinity power. (* That's a lotta
|
||
tequila! *)
|
||
|
||
Of the people who gave NUMBERS, the average number of drinks
|
||
Dean consumed that night was: 26.29. This average does not
|
||
include the 1^(-2435), the 31^24, the 10^8, and the infinity
|
||
raised to the infinity.
|
||
|
||
#11) What do you get when you cross a Rex with a Rhode Island Red?
|
||
|
||
A) That damn V.32 logon sequence!
|
||
B) An irritated RI Red.
|
||
C) A rooster that humps your leg. (* Not quite *)
|
||
D) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (* HAHAHAHH! *)
|
||
E) A happy Rex (* That sounds more like it *)
|
||
|
||
#12) What IS all this NET/Mail crap we've been seeing?
|
||
|
||
A) I dunno, but I suspect Rocky is trying to take over the
|
||
world. (* Good guess! *)
|
||
B) Wet dreams (* You people are BIZARRE! *)
|
||
C) Echoed dribble.
|
||
D) A conglomeration of Equine droppings? (* Weird, weird *)
|
||
E) Omega Ohm trying to get into EZNet
|
||
|
||
#13) Has Mark Kieskowski (Omega Ohm) started dancing yet? If so,
|
||
with whom? And to what style of music?
|
||
|
||
A) Yes, with Richard Foshee. Can't seem to hear it [the music]
|
||
(*Hmmmmm. Some latent tendencies showing there, Mark? *)
|
||
B) Oh no! He's disco-ing and dances like a white boy!
|
||
C) Not that I've seen. We'll feel the foundation shake if he
|
||
does.
|
||
D) He's a floppy tonight! (* No comment *)
|
||
E) No, but he is showing and intense interest in some Willie
|
||
Nelson tapes!
|
||
|
||
#14) Did Kevin remember your name? If so, how many times has he
|
||
repeated it?
|
||
|
||
A) I don't remember who Ke....Kelvi...... Oh forget it!
|
||
B) He's not here you poof!
|
||
C) Yes. 1^(-2435)
|
||
D) Kevin? Kevin??
|
||
E) No, but Omega Ohm did. (* What DID Omega did? *)
|
||
|
||
Many, MANY people had not the faintest idea who our resident
|
||
party animal, Kevin Buchan, is, or why he would be repeating
|
||
a name. Suffice it to say that EtOH does strange things to him.
|
||
|
||
#15) Does Monty (Kathy M.) smell funny? Get REAAALLLL close first
|
||
before sniffing.
|
||
|
||
A) I dunno. She had Kleenex on her elbow. Post nasal drip, I
|
||
guess.
|
||
B) "Nothing can penetrate THIS stuffy nose"
|
||
C) My wife gets extremely jealous when I sniff other women.
|
||
D) Yes. She reeks of Spam.
|
||
E) She smells HOT! (* Got that animal magnetism going for you
|
||
there Kathy, eh? *)
|
||
|
||
#16) How many people are in the computer room?
|
||
|
||
A) As many as will fit.
|
||
B) 6.3 (* I'm afraid to ask who's in more than one place
|
||
simultaneously *)
|
||
C) I left my calculator at home.
|
||
D) "Touch me naked!" (* I swear, you people DEFINE the term
|
||
bizarre!! *)
|
||
E) Too damn many
|
||
|
||
The average number of people in the computer room was 5.025.
|
||
This does not take into consideration the ridiculously low and
|
||
outrageously high numbers that some people put.
|
||
|
||
#17) Ladies, go growl at Lurch and see what he does. Men, you can
|
||
go growl at him too, but don't expect the same response.
|
||
|
||
A) I'll pass and go feel Maggie's breasts again. (* Maggie's
|
||
getting quite popular, isn't she? *)
|
||
B) He hit me.
|
||
C) You misspelled "too" (* SO SUE ME!! GRAMMAR COP!! *)
|
||
D) No way man! Not that big dude!
|
||
E) He fled in panic. (* Lurch? I doubt it. *)
|
||
|
||
#18) If you could have fun on a holodeck, who's holodeck would it
|
||
be, and what would you be doing?
|
||
|
||
A) Scram, ya trekkie (* Obviously one who does not appreciate
|
||
the finer things in life..... *)
|
||
B) I am not sure, but broccoli would DEFINITELY be involved.
|
||
(* I'm not EVEN gonna ask.... *)
|
||
C) I have too much fun to waste any time on a holodeck. (*
|
||
Ohhhhh but DO you? hehehhehe *)
|
||
D) Mine, having a roni. (* weird *)
|
||
E) What in the world is holodeck? (* Unfortunately, many
|
||
people had the same sentiments *)
|
||
|
||
#19) What is a .QWK packet, and how should it be treated?
|
||
|
||
A) With extreme care, they tend to combust.
|
||
B) Dunno. It should be treated the opposite of a .SLO packet.
|
||
(* Everyone's a wise guy...... *)
|
||
C) A quickie, with style and gusto!
|
||
D) Sauteed in garlic butter. Well chewed.
|
||
E) A bunch of Geese sounds.
|
||
|
||
#20) Have Lee and Randy found new hard drives? If so, who supplied
|
||
them?
|
||
|
||
A) I would suspect Maisel had something to do with it.
|
||
B) They found them at the bottom of Lake Michigan.
|
||
C) I have found that when dealing with people, you should not
|
||
ask such personal questions.
|
||
D) Probably their girlfriends, if they have them.
|
||
E) Yes -- Satan.
|
||
|
||
#21) If a person named Shafer came up and kissed you, what would
|
||
you do?
|
||
|
||
A) Depends. Did he do it to Foshee first? (* Why don't YOU ask
|
||
him? *)
|
||
B) Slip him the tongue. (* Shafer would like that, believe
|
||
me. *)
|
||
C) Probably puke on him to express my affection. He'd like
|
||
that.
|
||
D) Kiss back! YUM! (* I wouldn't be so eager if I were you *)
|
||
E) Kick him in the crotch (* hehehehehhee only if you knew *)
|
||
|
||
#22) Where do you work? What do you do? (Be specific)
|
||
|
||
A) I do not work. I am trapped in Dean's closet. HELP! (* I do
|
||
pray for your soul, I do. *)
|
||
B) I don't. I just stand and stare at people.
|
||
C) I work at UPS. I fondle packages and make sure they get to
|
||
where they need to be. (* After the fondling, I don't think
|
||
they wanna leave the distribution site! *)
|
||
D) In a subterranean kingdom. Rule with a firm (but gentle)
|
||
hand. (* Go away. We know all about your types. *)
|
||
E) Slaving over a sink of dirty dishes (* Hey! Wake up! It's
|
||
1991 and dishwashing machines are a dime a dozen! *)
|
||
|
||
Most people actually put their real occupations. Sad....
|
||
|
||
#23) Please go pray to Bob. What did he say?
|
||
|
||
A) "You need more slack" (* The most believable answer of the
|
||
night *)
|
||
B) Go and be profound. (* Someone told Ricky this, and he's
|
||
taken it a bit too seriously *)
|
||
C) (FLUSH) (* I didn't know Bob was like that, I must start
|
||
praying more often *)
|
||
D) Bob only speaks through an oracle now. Everyone knows that.
|
||
E) Sorry, I don't pray, I prey.
|
||
|
||
#24) What is the current state of the papacy?
|
||
|
||
A) He's boogieing on the Sistine Chapel (* Get down R.J.! *)
|
||
B) Stationary, but a high pressure zone is on its way.
|
||
C) I think Italy. (* Duuuuhhhhh...... I TOLD you truthful
|
||
answers would be ridiculed. *)
|
||
D) West Virginia. Really.
|
||
E) Colorado
|
||
F) Kansas.
|
||
|
||
The last three responses were true. No telling what kind of
|
||
shape the people were in when they answered that question.
|
||
|
||
#25) Why are you answering these godawful dumb questions?
|
||
|
||
A) For the fish of it. (* I don't see the logic in that
|
||
statement *)
|
||
B) I'm a sadist and a masochist. (* Truueee..... *)
|
||
C) Because my girlfriend says it will hep my English
|
||
D) The Bishop's got a beer can full of Jello aimed at my head
|
||
screaming "ANSWER THEM!" Good enough? (* Yes, but the real
|
||
question is why was the Jello screaming? *)
|
||
E) Because Maggie was with me! She made me! (* Ahhh, she's got
|
||
you where she wants you, eh Lee? *)
|
||
|
||
All in all, this was a very informative and eye opening
|
||
questionnaire. The true spirit of the BBS community I feel comes
|
||
out in things such as this. Again, all I can say is that you people
|
||
are genuinely weird, twisted, perverted, and otherwise affected in
|
||
some strange, demented way. Just remember to pray to Bob nightly.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
ProFile
|
||
by Chris Mohney
|
||
|
||
The ProFile is a short, half-serious biographical sketch given to
|
||
various computer telecommunications personalities around Birmingham.
|
||
Victims are selected randomly from a group of names put into the
|
||
notorious Hat. Anyone who thinks himself brave or witty enough may
|
||
petition for admittance to the Hat by leaving E-Mail to me (Chris
|
||
Mohney, most boards around town) to that effect. Anyone who wishes to
|
||
suggest more questions or sneakily nominate someone without their
|
||
knowledge may take the same route....
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
PRO FILE: Colby Gibson
|
||
|
||
---------
|
||
|
||
Age: 15 years
|
||
|
||
Birthplace: Birmingham
|
||
|
||
Occupation: School Laborer
|
||
|
||
My hobbies include: Telecomputing, electronics, loud music, etc.
|
||
|
||
Years telecomputing: 7
|
||
|
||
Sysop, past/present/future of: Nothing (Hopefully soon, though)
|
||
|
||
My oddest habit is: Tapping the reciever on my phone incessantly.
|
||
|
||
My greatest unfulfilled ambition is: To get rid of my Biology teacher.
|
||
|
||
The single accomplishment of which I am most proud is:
|
||
I was actually able to afford this 386.
|
||
|
||
My favorite performers are: Phil Collins, Janet Jackson, Information
|
||
Society.
|
||
|
||
The last good movie I saw was: Total Recall
|
||
|
||
The last good book I read was: The Essential Calvin and Hobbes
|
||
|
||
If they were making a movie of my life, I'd like to see my part played
|
||
by: Harrison Ford
|
||
|
||
My pet peeves are: My Biology teacher, work, and duplicate messages.
|
||
|
||
When nobody's looking, I like to: Point at them and silently laugh.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Special Interest Groups (SIGs)
|
||
|
||
BEPCUG CCS
|
||
Birmingham East PC Users Group Commodore Club South
|
||
Jefferson Sate Jr. College Springville Road Library
|
||
Ruby Carson Hall, Rm 114 2nd & 4th Tuesday (C64/C128)
|
||
3rd Friday, 7-9 PM 3rd Monday (Amiga)
|
||
Paula Ballard 251-6058 (after 5PM) 7:30-10 PM
|
||
Maurice Lovelady 684-6843
|
||
|
||
BCCC BIPUG
|
||
Birmingham Commodore Computer Club Birmingham IBM-PC Users Group
|
||
POB 59564 UAB Nutrition Science Blg
|
||
Birmingham, Al 35259 RM 535/541
|
||
UAB School of Education, Rm 153 1st Sunday (delayed one week
|
||
2nd and 4th Sundays, 2 PM if meeting is a holiday)
|
||
Rusty Hargett 854-5172 Marty Schulman 967-5883
|
||
|
||
BACE FAOUG
|
||
Birmingham Atari Computer First Alabama Osborne Users
|
||
Enthusiast Group
|
||
Vestavia Library, downstairs Homewood Library
|
||
2nd Monday, 7 PM 1st Saturday, 1PM
|
||
Benny Brown 822-5059 Ed Purquez 669-5200
|
||
|
||
CADUB
|
||
CAD Users of Birmingham
|
||
Homewood Library
|
||
3rd Tuesday, 6:30PM-8:30PM
|
||
Bobby Benson 791-0426
|
||
<EFBFBD>
|
||
|
||
If you belong to or know of a user group that is not listed,
|
||
please let us know by sending E-Mail to Barry Bowden on
|
||
The Matrix BBS.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
Known BBS Numbers For The Birmingham Area
|
||
|
||
NAME NUMBER BAUD RATES MODEM BBS SOFTWARE
|
||
SUPPORTED TYPE
|
||
|
||
* Abject Poverty 680-9680 300-2400 ProBBS/ProDoor
|
||
* Alter-Ego BBS 925-0707 300-2400 MNP4 ProBBS/ProDoor
|
||
* American BBS 674-1851 300-2400 PC Board 14.5
|
||
Amiga Alliance ][ 631-0262 300-2400 Ami Express
|
||
Arkham Asylum 853-7422 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
|
||
Bloom County 856-0587 300-2400 PC Board 14.5
|
||
-* Bus System 595-1627 300-2400 PC Board 14.2
|
||
* Byte Me! 979-BYTE! 2400-9600 USR HST WWIV 4.12
|
||
Camelot BBS 856-0679 300-2400 Telegard 2.5
|
||
-* Channel 8250 Node 1 744-8546 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.5
|
||
-* Channel 8250 Node 2 744-5166 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.5
|
||
* Crunchy Frog 956-1755 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.0
|
||
DataLynx 322-3425 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Graphics Zone Node 1 870-5306 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
|
||
Graphics Zone Node 2 870-5329 300-9600 MNP4 TBBS 2.1(16)
|
||
+ I.S.A. BBS 995-6590 300-9600 USR HST TCOMM
|
||
-* Joker's Castle 664-5589 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.2
|
||
K-9 Corner 424-8202 300-2400 Image 1.2
|
||
*& Little Kingdom Node 1 969-0007 300-9600 USR DS PC Board 14.5
|
||
*& Little Kingdom Node 2 969-0008 300-2400 MNP4 PC Board 14.5
|
||
LZ Birmingham 870-7770 300-2400 PC Board 14.5
|
||
* Magnolia BBS 854-6407 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.2
|
||
@ Missing Link 853-1257 300-2400 Image 1.2
|
||
^ Myth Drannor 699-5811 1200-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
|
||
Outside It's America 951-2473 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.11
|
||
Owl's Nest 680-0851 300-2400 PC Board 14.2
|
||
PC Echange Link 663-2759 300-9600 USR DS Quick BBS 2.04
|
||
@ Pirate's Cove 942-7429 300-1200 Image 1.2
|
||
Posys BBS 854-5131 1200-2400 RBBS CPC17.3
|
||
* Radio Free Troad 979-6183 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.2
|
||
Safe Harbor 665-4355 300-2400 GT Power 15.00
|
||
Shadetree BBS 787-6723 300-2400 Phoenix 1.36
|
||
Sperry BBS 853-6144 300-9600 Hayes PC Board 14.5
|
||
* ST BBS 836-9311 300-2400 PC Board 14.2
|
||
@ The Commodore Zone 856-3783 300-2400 Image 1.2
|
||
The Connection Node 1 854-9074 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1
|
||
The Connection Node 2 854-2308 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1
|
||
The Connection Node 3 854-0698 1200-2400 PC Board 14.1
|
||
The Crow's Nest 951-5678 300-2400 PC Board 14.2
|
||
The Dog House 425-9255 300-1200 Image 1.2
|
||
The Dragon's Hoard 833-3790 300-2400 WWIV 4.12
|
||
The Levee 681-8636 300-2400 Telegard 2.5i
|
||
-* The Matrix Nodes 1-4 323-2016 300-2400 PC Board 14.5
|
||
-* The Matrix Node 5 251-2344 300-9600 USR HST PC Board 14.5
|
||
+ The Outer Limits 985-1725 1200-9600 USR HST Teleguard 2.5i
|
||
The Quiet Zone 833-2066 300-2400 ExpressNET
|
||
* The Round Table 938-2145 300-2400 WWIV 4.11
|
||
VCM(ee) BBS Node 1 655-4059 300-2400 USR V.32 Oracomm Plus
|
||
VCM(ee) BBS Node 2 655-4065 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Vampire's Crypt 833-8494 300-2400 MNP4 WWIV 4.12
|
||
Victory Express 425-0821 300-1200 Image 1.2
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 1 979-1629 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 2 979-7739 300-2400 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 3 979-7743 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Willie's DYM Node 4 979-8156 300-1200 Oracomm Plus
|
||
Ziggy Unaxess 991-5696 300-1200 Unaxess
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "*" before their name are members of our local network,
|
||
EzNet, and public messages left in the EzNet Conferences of any of these
|
||
boards will be echoed to all members.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "@" before their name are members of our local Commodore
|
||
network, Image Network, and e-mail left on any member board may be
|
||
directed to any other member board.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "+" before their name are members of FidoNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "-" before their name are members of MetroNet, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "^" before their name are members of WWIV-Net, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
Boards with a "&" before their name are members of Intellec, an
|
||
international network that provides a variety of public forums as well
|
||
as private mail services all over the world.
|
||
|
||
If you have any corrections, additions, deletions, etc., please let us
|
||
know via EzNet.
|
||
|
||
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
|
||
EzNet Multiple Echo List
|
||
|
||
This is a list of the current echoes that we are aware of.
|
||
More are in the making and will be posted in future issues. If
|
||
you are a sysop and are running an echo not listed for your
|
||
board, please make us aware of it so we may correct it next
|
||
issue.
|
||
|
||
E P I A S B A W
|
||
Z r B d c T s e
|
||
N o M u i N t b
|
||
e g l t W r e
|
||
t r t e A o s
|
||
a c n y
|
||
m h u s
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Abject Poverty X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Alter-Ego X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
American BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Bloom County X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Bus System X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Byte Me! X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Channel 8250 X X X X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Crunchy Frog X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Joker's Castle X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Little Kingdom X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Magnolia BBS Not hooked into new central yet. MM
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
Radio Free Troad X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
ST BBS X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
The Matrix X X X X X X
|
||
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
||
The Round Table X
|
||
|
||
ed. This is a test layout for the new echo list. Please post your
|
||
comments, corrections, and suggestions for improving it. I'm not crazy
|
||
about this layout but it is all that I could think of at the time it
|
||
needed to get out. MM
|