128 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
128 lines
5.2 KiB
Plaintext
Ü ÜßÝ Ü Ü Ü
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ßÝ ßÝ Ý Ý Ý
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Ý Û Ý Ý Ý
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BLaH Ý ß Ý ÜßÜ Ý Ý
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File ÝßÜ Ý ÜÝ ÝßÝÜÝ Written August 8th, 1992
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#019 Ý Ýig Ýong ÜßÝ Ýnd Ý Ýairy
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Ý Ý Ý Þ Ý Ý Ý
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ÝÜß ÝÜÜÝ ßÜÜßÞ ÜÝ ÞÜ
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Presents
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Ú ÄÄ ¿
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"So, You've Decided To Have No Life..."
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³ by ³
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Guido Sanchez
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À ÄÄ Ù
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Welcome once again to my mind..
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ÄÄÄÄåA few words on BLaH
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As it seems, for being a group in existance for only 2-3 days, with 4
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members, and 18 tfiles, we've been doing pretty well. Yay. I'm sure you're
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all happy for us. Once again, BLaH is Guido Sanchez, Chessman, Constantine,
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and Phritz. Is this really necessary? Didn't think so.
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ÄÄÄÄåDecisions, Decisions...
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If you are reading this, you are probably anywhere from 10-20 years old,
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prime age for having no life. You're going through, well, you're going through
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a time of change <cue biblical music>.. and you may look at members of the
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same or opposite sex, and feel a little 'different' about them... and I just
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want you to know, that that's ok.. <cue masked gunman blowing [with a gun] my
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head off>.
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ÄÄÄÄåBut 'seriously', folks...
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You seem to be bored. Why else would you be a modemmer and read this tfile?
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YOU HAVE NO LIFE! Well, lucky readers, I am here.. here are a few wonderful
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little games you can play that take advantage of your having no life.
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ÄÄÄÄåGAME #1 - Whar's them teeth?
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If you've got no life, you've probably got grandparents that you see a lot.
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Maybe just one of them. And them, being the grandparents to a lifeless grand-
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child, will probably have no teeth. It always works out like that. So, what
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you shall need for this game is
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1 <one> grandparent or other elderly relative with no teeth
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1 <one> pair of sneakers, to run really fast
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These are the instructions..
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1> Find your grandparent.. Watch them closely <this is half the fun>
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2> Wait until they remove their false teeth from their jaws
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3> Steal them
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4> Take the false teeth also
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5> Hide them somewhere, somewhere grimy and disgusting
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6> Hint to them that you may just possibly know where their teeth are
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7> Run away as fast as you can
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8> If your relative can run faster than you, immediately produce their false
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teeth, offering to spit shine them if they let you live
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This game is even MORE fun for relatives with alzheimer's...
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STILL bored? Well, you're outside now. Go to the park, and play..
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ÄÄÄÄåGAME #2 - Rapunzel
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All you will need is to go outside to a park or something. This game can
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be played with 2 or more friends. If you have no friends, go home and play
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Kommander Ceen. Here's what to do.
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1> Find a cute little buttercup of a girl, with long pigtails
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2> Go up to her, and whisper in her ear [do NOT blow.. yet] to look over in
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those bushes [where your friends are hiding, right?]
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3> Have your friends "moon" her
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4> While her jaw gapes open in horror/awe, give them pigtails a GOOD yank
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5> Point and laugh at her as her entire skull slips out of her gaping mouth
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and right back in again [hopefully].
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NOTE: For best effect, play this game with dry skinned girls. The skull tends
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not to return into the skin.
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SEE?? You're feeling better already! All energetic! As long as you're in
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the park, wide open spaces and all, why not play...
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ÄÄÄÄåGAME #3 - Hunt the Hun
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Gather up more people, and play this fun variation of "Smear the Queer". What
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better way to celebrate years of homophobia in Amerika than to mimic bigotry?
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Here's what you will need.
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1> Lotsa "friends"
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2> Sticks, Stones, anything that breaks bones
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3> Wide open spaces
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Here's how to play..
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1> Choose one person to be The Hun
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2> Have everyone close their eyes, and count to 100 <one HUNdred>
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3> Let the hun run and hide as he pleases
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4> After finished counting, gather up the weapons
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5> Do as the title suggests, and hunt him down and beat him to death
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6> Draw and quarter the body.. whoever catches the head becomes the next Hun
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<variant of the pi¤ata game>
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7> Start over until EOF <end of friends>
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NOTE: Play only with people more than 1 hun-dred years of age, and of some
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hunnish decent. Goths <ostro and visa> do not count.
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Now that you have no more friends, you truly have no life. Go home and play
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Kommander Ceen VII : Aliens Sucked Me Off.
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èÄÄÄEnd of File... Safe-T-Nutz v0.90á says "5326 Bytes Total"ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄè
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What are you doing still reading? Go play KCvii!
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BLaH <sigh>ts.. where to get more of our crap
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new spiffy BLaHfile formats.. with extended ASCII.. why? cause it's ]<Ä/>’]>.
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ô ô
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Nun-Beaters Anonymous ³ <708>251-5094 ³ 110/16.8k
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The Melting Pot ³ <708>965-8965 ³ 9600/16.8k <formerly hellbound>
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The Insane Asylum ³ <305>927-3028 ³ 2400/16.8k
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The Realm of Death ³ <419>475-3089 ³ 2400/16.8k
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õ õ
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ÍÄÄÄClothesline.. pin pin pin Come here often?ÄÄÄÄÄ/\Ä-Ä-Ä-Ä/ÄÄÄ/ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÍ
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