421 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
421 lines
16 KiB
Plaintext
new moon correction: Bruce Sterling's "Highly
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anarcho" quote about ATI
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appeared on page 86. Not 81 as
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told in issue 91 of Activist
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Thymes.
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Thanks for noticing Scheptik.
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As you can see, unlike most
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paper newspapers, ATI is happy
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to print corrections right on
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its front page; rather than
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burying "said" on page 3!!!
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This issue goes out
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to the members of
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the band Rancid.
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Thanks, guys.
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Hello. Welcome to issue 92 of ATI, Actively Twisted Intelsat.
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We'll begin with:
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--------------> Random Notes from Ground Zero
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gr0und0@juno.com
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Hey folks. 2600 Magazine's Beyond Hope was GREAT. I had a blast
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checking out all the interesting panels, seeing some old friends and
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meeting people.
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Hopefully I'll have an article in the next issue about it.
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This time, I have a guest contributor, Taxula.
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But first, here's a few jokes to set the mood..
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**********
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JOKE #1:
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**********
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Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the season. The
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umpire walks up to the VIP section and yells something, and suddenly
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Clinton grabs Hillary by the collar and throws her over the side and
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onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, "No, Mr. President! I said,
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'Throw the first PITCH!'"
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**********
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JOKE #2:
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**********
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Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them tonight's
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special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good;
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I'll have that," Hillary says.
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The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
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"Oh, He'll have the fish," Hillary replies.
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**********
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JOKE #3:
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**********
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Q. Bill and Hillary are on a sinking boat. Who gets saved?
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A. The nation.
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And now, I present.. Taxula!
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Best Answer Award
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----- ---------- --------
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This year's award for the best answer to a whiney liberal question goes to
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Ben Beltzer, founder and director of the Interfaith Housing Coalition of
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Dallas. First, some background.
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Interfaith is a non-profit organization that helps homeless people get back
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on their feet. The people are given a place to live, clothing, and food.
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They have three months to complete educational programs, find their own
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housing, get a job, and save $1,200. So far, 800 people have graduated
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from
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the program and an independant study found 2 out of 3 still off the dole
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and
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off the street two years later.
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Interfaith takes no government money for its $690,000 budget because
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Beltzer
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doesn't like the paperwork or the rules that come with it. In fact, he
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returned $15,000 to the feds because, had he taken it, he would have been
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unable to enforce one of his firmest rules: do drugs and you're gone.
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Which
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leads us neatly to the whiney liberal question and the answer.
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Jay and Connie were a young couple on the program. Jay was caught using
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drugs, twice. The first time he was warned and sent to rehab, the second
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time they had to go. Jay picked up his young daughter and thrust her toward
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Beltzer asking the whiney liberal question, "YOU'RE not going to put her on
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the streets are you?"
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Beltzer looked at him clear eyed and replied, "No, YOU are."
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On a happy note, Connie is now clean, working, in her own apartment, and
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has
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full custody of both their children. And Jay? Who the heck cares?
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TAXULA (Sucking your wallets dry, not for me, but for the children.)
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---------------------------------------------------------------------
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Thanks, Ground Zero. And now for the Prime Anarchist Productions #'s run.
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PAP, as you know is a subsidiary of NOPE and Nope, it's not Sunday. It's
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Monday, September 1, 1997. 9am believe it or not. We begin our numbers run
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(a short one this week)
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<jumps out of seat looking pissed> - Wait! There's that Royal "we" again.
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To hell with that!! No more Royal we, no more Royal we. Long live the
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Royal we. I'm the only one writing this column, so for the rest of this
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article, yours truly, Prime Anarchist will refer to himself as "I."
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heheheheh.
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We are not amused.
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OK, why so short? I didn't have a lot of time to hunt stuff down. Why you
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might ask. Because "I" have been spending the last 3 days straight (almost
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literally) getting the all new ATI web page started. That's right, you
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heard it here first. That's right; Angelfire Communications Corporation
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decided to sponsor us with a free web page. Go look at it.
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http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html
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Teaching myself HTML is really fun. Carl of Franklinsnet helped with the
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graphics. OK, so here's the #'s run; and then on to news and stuff.
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http://www.amazon.com review your book, review someone else's.
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http://envirolink.org/mcspotlight/home.html Find out what's new around
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E-Coli hell.
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http://www.queenbee.net/members/pieman Get pied, or just look like one.
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http://www.netvideo.com/nobody This November let's put Nobody in
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The White House. OK, I guess we can
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Wait until the 00 year. But we'd
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Better hurry up and put Nobody in
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The White House.
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Casa Blanca.
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There were no letters to the Editor this week. Got a really weird letter
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Thursday, but we won't go into that.
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"If I shaved my..." well never mind, I said "we" wouldn't go there.
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CALENDULA - Sept 3, 1964. The Wilderness Act was passed.
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Sept 5, 1887. Crazy Horse was assassinated.
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Sept 8, 1763. Stephan Glotlov lands on Kodiak Island demanding
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Tribute for Empress Katherine's horse. They refuse
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And attack the Russians driving them back to about
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Where Alaska's farthest finger sits.
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Sept 9, 1919. Boston police strike. UPS workers loot for 3 days.
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Sep 10, 1997. Quarter moon. Give part of a howl.
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Sep 15, 1995. Largest mass arrest in US environmental history.
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1,033. Wow. 14 to a cell?
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Sep 16, 1971. Greenpeace sets to sea for the first time.
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1997. Full moon. Arouuuuuuuew.
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Sep 18, 1987. Pope John Paul II tells native American's to just
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Forget the past in a Phoenix, AZ speech.
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Sep 22, 1997. Equinox.
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Sep 23, 1997 3/4 moon.
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Sep 27, 1995. Clinton signs Salvage Rider into law."Scarey," says
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A local owl. "Where will I live?"
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Sep 30, 1882. First hydroelectric plant, WI.
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Oct 22, 1936. Bobby Seale born. Anyone know if that's New Haven?
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Nov 12, 1974. Karen Silkwood dies.
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Dec 4, 1835. Hot time in old town. Manhattan burned down. Or
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Were they referring to Chicago? London? Hmmm...
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Jan 10, 1901. Oil discovered in Texas.
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Jan 24, 1848. Gold discovered in California.
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Feb 1, 1960. Civil rights sit-ins begin.
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Feb 4, 1913. Rosa Parks born.
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Feb 17, 1778. Fernando Sor born.
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Feb 20, 1770. Fernando Carulli born.
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Feb 24, 1893. Andres Segovia born.
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Feb 26, 1964. Prime Anarchist born.
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Feb 27, 1973. 200 people occupy Wonded Knee. Pine Ridge SD.
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Mar 24, 1997. Partial Lunar Eclipse.
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Each state in a word.
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Or two. These are Prime Anarchist observations of the states we call our
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etats unidos. I've left out the ones I haven't seen yet, naturally, and I
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also alphebetized the thing. This is NOT in the order I experienced them. OK
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let's say it was. I visited these states alphabetically, have good reading:
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Arizona Dry
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Colorado High
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Connecticut Tiny
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Florida Fire ants
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Georgia Y'all
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Illinois Urban
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Indiana Soy
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Iowa Corn
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Kansas Leavenworth
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Maine Yonder
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Maryland Small
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Massachussetts Down Country
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Minnesota Nord
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Missoura Close to Leavenworth
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Nebraska Cruisin'
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New Hampshire Yuh.
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New Jersey No grass.
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New Mexico Adobe
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New York People.
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North Carolina Navy
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North Dakota Buffalo
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Ohio Columbus sux
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Oklahoma Fort Sill
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Pencil Vein Yeah Construction
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Rogues Island Tiniest
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South Carolina Army
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South Dakota Hot Springs
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Texas Cow oil
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Vermont Cow milk
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Virginia Hills
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West Virginia More hills
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Wisconsin Cheese milk
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Wyoming Missiles
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------------>This list was NOT brought to you by Visi-Calc<--------------
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disclaimer: The story you are about to read is to be completely ignored.
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I wrote this while Princess Diana was merely injured in a car
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crash. She hadn't expired yet.
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4 hours later I learned of her death.
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Dead.
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I can't make fun of the dead.
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So until someone figures out the Zombification drug and brings
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her back to life, IGNORE THE FOLLOWING:
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Princess Diana dumped her car in the Chapamaquody River last night and
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lived to tell about it. She swam all the way to the Atlantic where the
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currents took her right up the east coast to the Peter Bent Brigham Hospital.
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She was found beached next to a dumpster behind a Pizza Hut on Brookline Ave.
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Now her boyfriend didn't fare so well. He was aparently trapped in the
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car until it reached the Federal Trades Commission building. He was thrown
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from the car and spit onto the beach like Jonah out of the whale, pronounced
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dead and promptly Knighted in a sunrise ceremony by Ted Kennedy and Chris
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Dodd.
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While Princess Diana is somewhere between critical and really bad,
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Senator Kennedy is somewhere between Scarborough Beach, RI and Kennebunk ME.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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This just in
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Webster. 1936. - Scaphism. Punishment. Pouring honey all over
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a convict's body and letting insects eat at him or her until s/he dies a
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slow tortured death.
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... .. ... ...
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Smash your Television but
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keep your modem. For the
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revolution will not be
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televised. But it sure WILL
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be implemented on the web.
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New York, NY - Half a million people marched on the New York Post Office
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Friday to protest postal brutality.
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Catalyst for the march was an event exactly one year ago today on
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Columbus Avenue. A poodle was sniffing a letter carrier's back leg when
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worker Claude Debuse Concherto made a furtive gesture that cost him his job.
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The dog turned up dead, the house burned down with three people in it and
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the family Datsun's charred remains were found upside down in the back yard
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over a rose bush.
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After an investigation it was determined that Concherto maced the poodle,
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kicked her in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then
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beat her over the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House
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Sweepstakes.
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Concherto said it best in court Friday: "I maced the poodle, kicked her
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in the head, strangled her with her own hair ribbon and then beat her over
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the head senseless with a stack of Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes."
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Concherto admitted to torching the building down to cover up a Haitian
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drug ring inside that had been selling ginger peanut garlic sauce on the
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black market for 4 years. Two family members are still at large and Concherto
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will be testifying as to their wherabouts tomorrow.
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Concherto is expected to sing.
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Martha's Vinyard - Connie Chung has announced a wildcat strike.
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"I'm not interviewing anyone anymore," said Chung.
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"At least not until I get a Whopper." She said she will not interview
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Clinton about the Royal family, the downing of flight 69, or even Hillary's
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swimsuit this year. Chung is striking for better pay, wealth benefits, a
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burger and a meeting at the Russian Tea Room with Barbara Streisand, Billy
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Joel, Tipper Gore and Ozzy Osbourne.
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YNTL --> Yellow Journalism Intentional.
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Shawano, WI - Folksinging is now illegal in Forest, Langlade, Lincoln,
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Oneida, Wood and Vilas counties.
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40-60 folksingers were arrested at their annual song circle, cowboy
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poetry, hootenany, rave July 8, 1997. The charges? Unlawful assembly,
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Shindigging without a permit and discharging a C minor chord within city
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limits.
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You heard it
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first
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here.
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web citation: http://www.menominee.com/nomining/ef3.html
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- - - - + - - - ( 0 ) - - - + - - - - - -
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5 years after the quincentennial:
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It's Time to:
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MAKE OCTOBER 12TH
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INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY,
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Free Leonard Peltier,
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Stop Forced Relocation at Big Mountain,
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and Build a Movement for Justice
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and Human Rights for All!
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Five years ago, in 1992, hundreds of thousands, if not millions
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of people throughout the Americas spoke out and acted in opposition
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to the government sponsored celebrations of Christopher Columbus and in
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support of the rights of indigenous peoples.
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However today, in 1997, AIM activist Leonard Peltier sits in
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prison during this 21st year of incarceration for an act the government knows
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he did not commit. It has been revealed that the FBI withheld from his
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trial evidence that proves his innocence.
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In northeast Arizona, in the Black Mesa area, 3,000 indigenous
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people are fighting forced relocation from their land because Peabody
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Western Coal Company wants it to make profits.
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And there are numerous other examples of both continuing repression
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and continuing resistance by indigenous peoples against violations of
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their rights.
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Join with people around the country who will be fasting from Oct 1
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through 12, fasting for part of that time, organizing local demonstrations
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and actions, or acting in other ways in solidarity with Leonard Peltier,
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the Big Mountain resisters, other struggling Native American peoples and
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for the human rights of all.
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We will never be free in this country until we face up to the
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historic record, set it straight and get it right. "Getting it right" means
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honoring, upholding and joining in solidarity with those who have much
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to teach us about living in harmony with the natural world, about working
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cooperatively for the good of all, and about steadfastness in struggle
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despite the most difficult conditions. We urge you to join us this October.
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For more information contact the Peoples Fast for Justice,
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PO Box 170610
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Brooklyn, NY 11217
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718-643-9603 (t)
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718-643-8265 (f)
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indpol@igc.apc.org
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------- ( . ) -------
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------- ( . . ) -------
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------- ( . ) -------
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------- ( ) -------
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I end this edition of ATI, issue 92
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with JOURNAL POME 20 from Marc Frucht's book "I SLURP MY COFFEE: Journal
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Pomes 1-33."
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JOURNAL POME 20.
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BOOT HILL OR BUST
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Lunch; Castle Rock: Still
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Further sings for the dead.
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Pitch covers Yaw, and graveyard
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Sings back from across street.
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Boot Hill, Colorado: Wild Turkey,
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Water and wine. Almost poison.
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"Commentary vouz," says Chipmonk-
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Looking squirrel guarding his nuts.
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Why must prophets die penniless?
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Hotsprings everywhere.
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Dreams of Halloweens.
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"Do you have a Rainbow name?" Anna asks.
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"Information," I inform, "given by
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Tom Joad. Yours?"
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"Matteo gave me it. Spells Anna backwards."
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"Zhoinks!" says Scooby Doo.
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"A computerized washing machine's not
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Worth the tin it's printed on."
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Rapid City - You can read the weather off
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Jefferson's forehead and Lincoln's chin.
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Went sole searching, just got scrod.
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Newport, RI. Bought Birkenstock Arizonas
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From Thames St. cobbler after chowderfest.
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Blood red moon drops in on Ocean Beach.
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440 a.m. Grapeful Dead on FM.
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& no fog rolls up New London Harbour 2day.
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Moorehead, MINN. 2-masted Viking ship.
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Earl Eye In The Morning
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Tells jokes on FM radio.
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Fargo, ND. Might as well be Moorehead.
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Squash and Barq's root beer, then
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Minuet in G under concrete
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Buffalo balls.
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There's a box of buffalo
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Manure in Bismark and Mandan too.
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Ground Round, good coffee, great
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Cod, but blah chowder.
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3.9 richter quake tremor for Danbury.
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Nervous, CT. Has a fault of her
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Own. Albany's fault too.
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"Seizmik," says Scooby Doo.
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She who takes limo to Dylan Concert
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Serves two masters.
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Radio station and cocaine. Zhoinks!
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A Beatrice New-Fig-Newton: car or cookie??
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Medina parries; Mecca thrusts.
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that's it.
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thanks for reading.
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send all contributions to
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ati@etext.org
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for a free subscription (first dibs)
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send
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SUBSCRIBE ATI
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as the message to:
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listserv@brazerko.com
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questions? call
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860-887-2600 ext 5293
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and for a good time type:
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http://www.angelfire.com/wi/kokopeli/ATI.html
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