102 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
102 lines
4.9 KiB
Plaintext
WEIRD NEWS VOLUME 6
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TAKE THE FIFTH!!
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- Bruce Damon, attempting to work a plea bargain in February
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to charges that he knocked off a bank in Whitman, Mass, argued to
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the judge that the eight to fifteen year term suggested by the
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prosecutor was way too long. First of all, Damon said, when he
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robbed a bank in 1987, he only got three to five years.
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Secondly, he said, citing an article from the Brockston
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Enterprise newspaper, the bank had enjoyed record earnings
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despite the robbery and expected to do well in 1992 also. Said
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Damon, "I didn't hurt this bank at all." When the judge asked
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Damon if he would rob banks again if he were free, Damon replied,
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"I'd like to plead the Fifth Amendment on that." The judge
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refused to accept the plea and scheduled Damon for trial.
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DOES IT EVER END??
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- Columbian garbage collector Oscar Hernandez claimed in March
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that he was kidnaped by security guards during the Carnival in
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Barranquilla and taken to a lab at the Free University of
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Barranquilla, where a syndicate planned to kill him for his body
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parts. A police investigation then turned up 11 bodies, and
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parts of 22 others, and a report that body bounty hunters
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received $200 per person. Police identified most of the victims
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as being garbage collectors.
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- The International Amateur Athletics Federation recently
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changed its procedures to perform gender checks on female
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athletes. For 25 years, the Federation had used a chromosome
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smear test but decided late last year it will merely make visual
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inspections. The Federation explained that the chromosome test
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was "ethically unacceptable."
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- The official Iran news agency announced in March that men
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who left the country before 1989, and feared returning home
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because they would be drafted, could buy a military exemption for
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about $16,000 (representing about 30 years work at the minimum
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wage in Iran). Officials promise that if a man pays and then
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volunteers to serve, he'll get his money back.
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- A rush-hour traffic jam in Kansas City, Mo, in March caused
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when a truck carrying remaindered pornographic magazines to a
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recycling center overturned on a busy street. about 2,000
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magazines were scattered about, and drivers stopped their cars to
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gather as many as they could before moving on.
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- In February, a court in Versailles, France, overturned an
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order banning dwarf tossing, permitting 3'11" Manuel Wackenheim,
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24, to return to work at the Eclipse nightclub in Morsang-sur-
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Orge, from which he had been banned by the mayor in October.
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Though the minister of the French Interior had called such
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exhibitions "an intolerable attack on human dignity," the
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government finally acquiesced because the ban would deny a
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"physically different" person a chance at a livelihood.
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- An 81 year old woman died of severe burns in Columbia, Mo,
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in December, after a 15 mile ambulance ride took too long to save
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her life. The hospital's emergency helicopter was not made
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available because it was being used on a public relations
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assignment, with one of the crew members dressed as Santa Claus.
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- The Manitoba, Canada, Natural Resources minister apologized
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in February when news got out that her government had saved
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$1,800 in postage by mailing a fishing survey through the US
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mails rather than through Canada's. Clerks had gone to Grand
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Forks, N.D. about 100 miles from the border, to mail the surveys
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to several thousand US anglers who use Manitoba waters.
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MON STUPID
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- Paul Gamboa Taylor pled guilty in December to murdering his
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wife and four others near York PA, six months earlier. He told
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police he had tried to take his own life five times before
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turning himself in. He had slashed both his wrists with a
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hacksaw; drunk lighter fluid; plunged a knife into his chest;
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filled a bathtub with water, hoping to pass out and drown; and
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brought a hair dryer into the tub with him. Said Taylor, "I love
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my family; that's why I plead guilty."
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REAL WEIRD
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- In April, Richard Dickinson, 25, was allowed out of prison
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in Hobart, Australia, on an evening pass with two chaperons, to
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attend a concert by his idol, Bob Dylan. Dickinson is in a
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prison for the criminally insane because in 1987 he stomped his
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mother to death to the tune of Dylan's song "One More Cup of
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Coffee for the Road," after she told him to turn down the music.
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He said he thought his mom was an evil character from the song
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and even sprinkled instant coffee over her body after she died.
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GAME TIME!!
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- Isbrain Marquez Pacheco, 53, was indicted in March for
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attempted murder of his wife of three weeks, in East Windsor, NJ.
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According to police, Pacheco said he beat her with a baseball bat
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after she refused his demand that she not attend a friend's baby
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shower. Said Pacheco, "If I had killed her, I would have no
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regret" because he was "offended by what she said to me."
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