textfiles/humor/units.mea

45 lines
1.6 KiB
Plaintext
Raw Permalink Blame History

This file contains invisible Unicode characters

This file contains invisible Unicode characters that are indistinguishable to humans but may be processed differently by a computer. If you think that this is intentional, you can safely ignore this warning. Use the Escape button to reveal them.

Article 1923 of eunet.jokes:
Path: santra!tut!draken!kth!mcvax!hp4nl!botter!star.cs.vu.nl!maart
From: maart@cs.vu.nl (Maarten Litmaath)
Newsgroups: eunet.jokes
Subject: Real bizarre units
Message-ID: <2038@solo9.cs.vu.nl>
Date: 14 Feb 89 01:57:48 GMT
References: <337@cui.UUCP> <150@kpdp.kpd.dk> <BJORNL.89Feb13095903@octopus.tds.kth.se>
Organization: V.U. Informatica, Amsterdam, the Netherlands
Lines: 31
[found elsewhere]
A kilometer is the distance a large cat can be shot out
of a cannon packed with a kilogram of black powder. The fact that a
1000 meters = 1 kilometer is entirely coincidental. A kilogram was
based roughly on how much cocaine you could by for ~$100K. The gram
was a similar measure, based on the size of a paperclip.
10**12 microphones = 1 megaphone
10**6 bicycles = 2 megacycles
500 millineries = 1 seminary
10 cards = 1 decacards
1/2 lavatory = 1 demijohn
10** -6 fish = 1 microfiche
1 unit of suspense in a mystery novel = 1 whod unit
10**12 pins = 1 terrapin
10**-12 Boulevard = 1 Pico Boulevard (L.A.)
10**21 picolos = 1 gigolo
10 rations = 1 decoration
10 millipedes = 1 centipede
3 1/3 tridents = 1 decadent
5 holocausts = 1 Pentacost
10 monologues = 5 dialogues
= 1 decalogue
2 monograms = 1 diagram
8 nickles = 2 paradigms
2 snake eyes = 1 paradise
2 wharves = 1 paradox
--
"I love it |Maarten Litmaath @ VU Amsterdam:
when a plan comes together." |maart@cs.vu.nl, mcvax!botter!maart