167 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
167 lines
5.5 KiB
Plaintext
L.U.C.I.P.H.E.R.
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presents...
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#########################################
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[*] [*]
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[*] A [*]
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[*] [*]
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[*] T O P T E N [*]
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[*] [*]
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[*] L O O K B A C K A T T H E [*]
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[*] [*]
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[*] 8 0 ' s [*]
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[*] [*]
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#########################################
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The Deth Vegetable
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and
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Fidel Castro
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The inspiration for this file actually came before the previously released
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"Top Ten Goes to College" but due to a lack of enthusiasm it was not completed
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until now...well enough of this preliminary drivel... on to the main body
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of drivel...
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/----------------------------\
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! Top Ten Losers of the 80's !
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\----------------------------/
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10) Tiffany.
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9) Ishtar.
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8) Morton Downey Jr.
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7) Matt Ackerett.
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6) Menudo.
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5) Reagan.
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4) Burl Ives' Disco Christmas.
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3) Mike Tyson's marriage counselor.
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2) Dan Quayle.
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1) Lyndon LaRouche.
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/---------------------------------------\
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! Top Ten Reasons Why We Invaded Panama !
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\---------------------------------------/
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10) It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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9) "The Wonder Years" was a repeat.
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8) Canada bet us a nickle we wouldnt.
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7) World trade balance threatened when Manuel tried to corner the market on
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"Noxema Skin Pads".
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6) Sorry, that information is classified.
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5) Manuel called us "chicken".
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4) Because... Just because.
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3) Noriega stole Dan Quayle's crayolas.
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2) Manuel didnt send George Bush a Christmas card.
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1) Manuel threatened to blow up the world's supply of Chia Pet's.
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/---------------------------\
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! Top Ten Least Wanted Jobs !
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\---------------------------/
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10) Vice-President.
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9) Custodial Engineer of Three Mile Island.
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8) Mike Tyson's sparring partner.
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7) Don King's Hairdresser.
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6) Chicken Plucker.
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5) Anything to do with Ishtar.
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4) Panamas Department of Tourism.
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3) James Brown's Doctor. (OW!)
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2) "Gorby Mapper" (The guy who draws the map of Albania on Gorby's forehead).
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1) Commmunist Party leader of any Eastern Bloc country.
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/-----------------------------------\
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! Top Ten Cartoons We'd Like To See !
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\-----------------------------------/
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10) The John Birch Society comedy hour.
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9) Joe Elastic and his Rubber Band.
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8) G.I. Joe and The Gobots vs. The Transformers, and they all blow up. forever.
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7) The Neo-Nazi Ninja Nuns Show.
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6) The Mr. Chia Pet Show.
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5) Gummy Aardvarks.
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4) The Smurf Chainsaw Massacre.
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3) Middle-aged Geriatric Kung-fu Grandmas.
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2) Uncle Bingo and his Playful Pitbull Cujo.
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1) The Pretty-cool-but-not-really-Superfriends.
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/---------------------------------\
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! Top Ten Movies We'd Like To See !
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\---------------------------------/
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10) Yuppie Cannibals from Planet X.
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9) The Last Temptation of Betsy the Cow.
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8) The Little Mermaid and Flipper the Wonder Porpoise vs. Jaws.
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7) National Lampoon's Lebanon Vacation.
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6) Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Swartzenegger is: "Pointless Violence".
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5) Friday the 13th part MCXVLII. Milking a dead topic.
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4) The Grapefruits of Wrath.
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3) When Harry met Sally, her friend Paula, and her cousin Moe.
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2) Ernest gets a fungal infection.
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1) National Lampoon's Last Vacation Ever.
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/-----------------------------------\
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! Top Ten TV Shows We'd Like To See !
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\-----------------------------------/
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10) John Elway's Wide World of Losers.
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9) Des Moines Vice.
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8) Dr. What?
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7) It isn't Gary Shandling's Show.
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6) Dirtroad to Heaven.
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5) Leave it to Chia Pet
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4) Star Trek...The Last Generation.
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3) Bob's Fungal Forum.
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2) The Golly-Gee-Neat Years.
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1) Amerika's Least Wanted.
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/--------------------------------------------\
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! Top Ten Things That Tell You That The House!
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! Your Thinking of Buying Is Not For You. !
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\--------------------------------------------/
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10) Any Tape that says: POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS .
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9) Unmarked Graves in the back yard.
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8) Chalk Outlines in the Living room.
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7) A 16' former pet alligator, answers to Betsy, living in the Septic system.
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6) Bleeding Walls.
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5) Cries for hlep emanating for the basement.
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4) Funeral Pyre in back yard.
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3) When you go to look in the cellar the owner says "Don't Look in there!" .
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2) Owner informs you of neighborhood sacrifices.
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1) The Drinking water is Puce colored.
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/------------------------------\
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! Top Ten Unanswered Questions !
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\------------------------------/
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10) Why is Dan Quayle Vice-President?
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9) Who really lives in Iowa?
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8) Why am I reading this?
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7) Why was he writing this?
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6) Bagel.
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5) Why is the Government so inept?
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4) Why do Bert and Ernie live together?
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3) Why are Babylon and the Number 7 the same color.
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2) Who made Rice-a-Roni the San Francisco Treat?
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1) What the hell is a Chia Pet?
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Well, thats about it.. actually that is it.... Look out for "Dick and Jane
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Instigate a Popular Revolution" probably the next file I'll be putting out...
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that is, as soon as SOMEONE gets off their butts to help me....
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remember... Dick and Jane instigate a popular revolution (featuring Spot as
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the evil dictator)... Coming soon....or maybe not...
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Anarchie uber Alles!
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