50 lines
1.6 KiB
Plaintext
50 lines
1.6 KiB
Plaintext
From: owner-humor
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To: Multiple recipients of list HUMOR
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Subject: self serving excuses
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Date: Sunday, April 10, 1994 2:36PM
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The Sunday 4/10/94 ed. of the Washington Post Style Invitational
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Challenge was to emulate Sen. Charles Robb and come up with a self-serving
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Moral loophole (Such as, "It's not extramarital sex if you don't actually
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sleep with the person ...")
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The brevity award (A pair of briefs) went to "Chocolate is a vegetable."
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5th place - It doesn't count as tabloid reporting if you're only reporting
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that the tabloids reported it ...
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4th runner up - You're still sober as lounge as you can still say your
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worms promperty.
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3rd - It isn't a preexisting condition unless you had it before you existed.
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1st runner up - You're not fat if clothes are actually made in your size.
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Winner - You're not guilty of DUI if you thought someone else was driving.
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------------------------------------------------------------------
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Honorable mentions:
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It is not vote fraud unless you can prove those dead guys would have voted
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the other way.
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You are not abusing drugs if you store them in a cool, dry place and never
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shout at them.
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You are not bald if you have hair growing out of your nose.
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It is not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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You are not drinking alcohol if you plan on puking it back up.
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It is not racketeering if you use a bat.
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It isn't procrastination if you decide to postpone it RIGHT NOW.
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It's not plagerism if you would have written it exactly that way.
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------------------------------------------------------------------
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JVogel@cap.gwu.edu (John Vogel when he's at home)
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