100 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
100 lines
3.1 KiB
Plaintext
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ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?
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3 YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF.... 3
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@DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY
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You still have an 8-track tape player in your car or house.
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Your idea of safe sex doesn't include anyone else.
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You have ever bar-be-qued hamburgers at the driver-in theater.
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You liked the velvet picture of Elvis that someone in a van sold you
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beside the highway better than anything you saw at an art show or museum.
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You own more than three shirts with cut-off sleeves.
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You have ever driven down the road with your seat belt hanging out of the
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door making sparks.
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You have ever spray-painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
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Someone asks to see your ID, and you show them your belt buckle.
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Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
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You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
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You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
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Jack Daniels is on your list of most admired people.
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You see no need to stop at a rest stop because you have an empty milk
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jug in the car.
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Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
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You have ever had to scratch your sister or girlfriend's name out of
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the message "For a good time, call _______."
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Red Man chewing tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
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You bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you're at work.
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Your dad walks to school with you because you're both in the same grade.
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You view the next family reunion as a great chance to meet a woman.
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Your wife has a beer gut, and you think it's attractive.
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You have ever signed a petition to have the national anthem changed to
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"Free Bird."
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You call your boss "Dude."
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You have ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
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You need one more hole punched in your card before you get a freebie at
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the "House of Tattoos."
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You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair.
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You look like Willie Nelson after you get your hair cut.
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You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
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You've ever worn a cowboy hat to church.
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You have sunglasses that are mirrored on the inside.
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You think BMW are the call letters for a radio station.
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You wear a belt buckle that weighs more than three pounds.
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You've ever been to a funeral or wedding where there were more pickup
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trucks than cars.
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Your all-time favorite movie is "Cannonball Run."
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You have any relatives named "Elmer" or "Jed."
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Your girlfriend thinks the way you pick your nose is cute.
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You wish your house looked like the one on the beginning of "Beverly
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Hillbillies" or "Green Acres."
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Your favorite actors are Gomer Pile, Goober, and Barney Fife.
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Your pet parrot knows how to whistle the song to "the Andy Griffith Show."
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ZDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD?
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3 ..Ron.. 3
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3USENET ADDRESS: ron.kulick@execnet.com 3
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@DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDY
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---
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~ DeLuxe} 1.12 #9851 ~ Support Shareware, or pay commercial prices!
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--
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Executive Network Information System (914) 667-4567
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International ILink Host
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