116 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
116 lines
4.3 KiB
Plaintext
A collection of quotes from Professor Ralph Noble, a professor of psychology
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here at RPI. Specifically, these were taken from his Psychology of Motivation
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class, Fall semester 1991.
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"As undergraduates, you realize that cleaning is very cost-ineffective, and why
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would you bother?"
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"If you're salt-deficient, you'll go lick the sweat off your significant
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other...there are other physiological drives that will cause the same behavior."
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"They've got drive-by shootings in Philadelphia now. Where they park to
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reload, I don't know."
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On Siamese Fighting Fish: "They're beautiful, they're elegant, they're vicious
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as hell...there's a real life lesson here somewhere."
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"If I could go through the dorms and shoot people, exam pressures would be put
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into perspective."
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"As you approach 4.0, study time approaches infinity."
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On Oprah Winfrey's income: "$83 million? Oprah and I do basically the same
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thing. Stand in front of people and abuse them."
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On 'the totally suffering individual' (i.e. no food, no oxygen, no water, no
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self-esteem, no safety, no friends, no money, sick and in pain, etc.) "You
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can't do this with people, which takes all the fun out of life."
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"20 scared-out-of-their-gourds 3 or 4-year olds is an example of what I'd like
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to do to some of you who are really getting on my nerves."
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"In the spirit of today, when I'm handing out the exams, we're going to further
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examine the totally suffering individual."
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"No beer? I think that comes under 'sick and in pain.'"
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"We're going to talk about sex--you're going to talk about sex, because I can't
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remember."
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"The only sense I can make out of having kids is it's a good way to become a
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grandparent."
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"Men stare at those parts of the female anatomy which carry the subcutaneous
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fat necessary for childbearing and lactation. This is not news."
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"Look at this [dollar bill], for those of you who haven't seen [one] before."
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"If money stopped buying things, I'd lose interest in it."
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On fear-reduction techniques and how they can be used to make a bad
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relationship last: "If I could use these techniques as well as I can explain
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them, do you think I'd be here? And if I was here, I'd look a lot more tired
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and happy."
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"They don't let us beat students anymore, but my fantasy life is my own
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business."
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"Supposedly, it is possible to score goals [in field hockey]. However, this
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rarely happens because hitting people is so positively reinforcing."
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"Usually shooting a professor in the head ticks them off, but sometimes they'll
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say 'Thank you.'"
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"At 100,000 feet up, you're talking serious, _serious_ long underwear and
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oxygen."
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"I've been in the academic world a long time...I can sleep with my eyes open,
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which is an important skill for those of you considering jobs in middle and
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upper management."
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"I learned to put the [toilet] seat down...it makes you look like a warm,
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caring, sensitive human being."
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"You bring someone home, say 'Hi, Mom, this is so-and-so,' she immediately
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knows everything except which side of the bed he sleeps on."
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"She's human...well, she's a lawyer, but reasonably human."
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"We're going to assume a few things about reality. One, it exists. That's not
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a necessary assumption, but I find it comforting."
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"There are a lot of reasons to skydive. It does take your mind off your
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problems."
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"There was some brilliant work done with rats, which makes it scientific."
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"There are two universes: for males, and for females."
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"In the US, males are a minority and should be treated and protected as such."
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"Most divorces are just a four-year-long date with a little bookkeeping."
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"Happily ever after...there are some people who have achieved that, for the
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moment."
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"Is another way to put this 'All men are crazy?'"
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"I may be more of a romantic than some of you, so feel free to throw up if you
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have to."
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"Let's assume the semester's over, so dying is a bad thing."
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"A college professor is someone smart enough to get a Ph.D., but too crazy to
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make a living."
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"There's a large amount of evidence saying that the man's point of view is
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largely irrelevant."
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"Sean Connery is the sexiest man alive? Was I on the list?"
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"You watch a talk show recently? They're doing one next month on a normal,
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happy heterosexual couple, assuming they can find one."
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