84 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
84 lines
2.8 KiB
Plaintext
The Book of PROVERBIAL WISDOM
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SON, I sayeth, son, if thou wouldst get wise and have wisdom, incline thy
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ear to my words, and keep shut thy mouth;
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For all the world honoreth wisdom, but no one liketh a guy which is wise.
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If thou hast unto thyself thy health, then hast thou just about everything;
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And wealth speaketh on a loud voice, but the dung of cattle walketh;
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But if thou wouldst be accounted truly wise, then eat not in any place that
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calleth itself Mom's; nor shouldst thou gamble at cards with any man who is
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a physician;
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And whosoever moveth his bowels in the self-same place where he breaketh
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his bread, is a fool.
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Son, wouldst thou be accounted wise? Then get thyself atop the stick,
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and keep thou thine eyes upon the ball.
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When thou goest unto a City, and findeth there a Hall, remember thou canst
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not fight it.
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And forget not that a man must eat a thousand cubits of dung before he dieth;
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But the wise man remembereth the side upon which his bread is buttered; and
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knoweth in his heart what is made when two is added unto two;
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Be sharp, therefore, even as a tack is sharp, and forget not the law
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of thy fathers:
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When thou hast them by the stones of their loins, the hearts of them
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will follow thee, and likewise their minds, also.
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Go to woman, consider her ways; for thou canst live without her, and
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neither canst thou live with her.
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Son, I sayeth, son, that is a joke. Why laughest thou not?
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Thine own bride shall be faithful and virtuous, and married in white
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raiment; but they neighbors wife is an horse of a different hue.
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For no man misseth a slice from a loaf which has been cut.
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The fool sayeth in his heart, She is too old, or she is fat, or
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otherwise uncomely;
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But the wise man knoweth that in the darkness all cats are of the
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self-same hue, which is black.
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Son, I sayeth son, am I going too fast for you?
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The wise man knoweth which way the wind blowest, nor pisseth he into
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it.
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When thou risest up in the assemblies to speak, remember the law of
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thy fathers:
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Words are like unto the dung of cattle; and if thou flingest a
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sufficiency thereof at the side of a barn, doth not a goodly portion
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stick?
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For I went forth and traveled far, and returned, and I saw under the
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sun that there is born unto us a sucker every minute.
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My son, I sayeth, my son, if thou wouldst keep thy cookies gathered
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together and thy nethermost quarters out of a sling, remember the
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wisdom of thy father, who hath been around:
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Such shekels as are made of wood, take them not.
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Whatsoever moveth, that thou shalt salute; but whatever moveth not,
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paint thou it.
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And if the sister of thy mother, which is thy aunt, had stones upon
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her loins, verily, then wouldst she be thy uncle.
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For the fool sayeth in the market place that winning is everything;
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But the wise man knoweth in his heart that winning is the only thing.
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The End.
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