52 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
52 lines
2.7 KiB
Plaintext
Letter to son from Polish Mom:
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Dear Son,
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Just a few lines to let you know that I'm still alive. I'm writing
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this letter slowly because I know that you cannot read fast. You won't
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know the house when you come home....we've moved. About your father....he
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has a lovely new job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at
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the cemetary. There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in,
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but it isn't working too good. Last week I put 14 shirts into it, pulled
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the chain, and I haven't seen the shirts since. Your sister Mary had a baby
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this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girly, so I don't
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know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.
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Your Uncle Dick drowned last week in a vat of whiskey in Dublin
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Brewery. Some of his workmates dived in to save him, but he fought them off
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bravely. We cremated his body and it took three days to put out the fire.
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Your father didn't have much to drink at Christmas. I put a bottle of
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casteroil in his pint of beer. It kept him going until New Year's Day. I
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went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put
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a small tube into my mouth and told me not to open it for ten minutes. Your
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father offered to buy it from him. It only rained twice last week. First for
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3 days and then for 4 days. Monday it was so windy that one of our chickens
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laid the same egg four times.
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We had a letter yesterday from the undertaker. He said if the last
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installment wasn't paid on your grandmother within 7 days....up she comes.
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Your loving Mother,
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P.S. I was going to send you $10, but I had already sealed the
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envelope.
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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Rat Head Ratsnatcher 510-524-3649
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diversive sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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