57 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
57 lines
2.3 KiB
Plaintext
"WOMAN CLIPS OFF SLEEPING HUSBANDS PENIS, THROWS
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IT FROM MOVING CAR"
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..... Don't laugh!!!! It could happen to you!!!
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Right now, thousands of agitated, irate women have read that headline and
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are contemplating that course of action the next time their men make
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unwanted sexual advances, look at them the wrong way, or just generally
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piss them off. That is, not to mention the hazards of PMS.
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MEN!! PROTECT YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!!!!!
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If you find yourself the victim of the "CLIP AND FLIP SYNDROME," could you
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be sure that the appropriate authorities would find your dismembered member
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in time and intact? Could you also be certain that the penis part they
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re-attach is your own?
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Our new low cost PENIS PROTECTION PLAN will give you peace of mind. We'll
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register and tattoo your penis and scrotum with their own unique
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registration numbers. In case of separation, you're insured a perfect
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match every time.
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For just a bit more, you can be ahead of the game and guarantee accurate
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replacement by choosing our JURASSIC PRICK PLAN. One cell sample from your
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penis allows us to clone replacement parts in the event that your manhood is
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run over by a tractor trailer, falls into a storm drain or is destroyed by
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local fauna.
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DON'T GET CAUGHT SHORT! SIGN UP NOW!
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Clip this coupon and mail to: JURASSIC PRICK
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444 Short Arm Drive
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Mannessas, VA 22110
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Or call 1-800-AAARGH
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Name: ______________________________ Phone: (____)_____________________
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Address: ________________________________________________________________
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City: ________________________ State: ___________ Zip: _____________
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Measurements: Flaccid: ______________ Erect: _______________
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CHECK ONE: _____ Penis Protection Plan ($89.99)
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_____ Jurassic Prick Program ($119.95)
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OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY. CALL NOW AND RECEIVE A SET OF GINZZU KNIVES OR
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A RONK-O CHOP-A-MATIC FREE WITH YOUR ORDER. MAJOR CREDIT CARDS GLADLY
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ACCEPTED. OFFER NOT VALID IN SOME STATES.
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