54 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
54 lines
2.5 KiB
Plaintext
Open letter to Tax Payers.
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Dear Tax Payers: The only thing the Internal Revenue Service has
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not taxed is your Pecker. This is due to the fact that 40% of the
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time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed
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off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is
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employed but operates in the hole. Furthermore, it has two
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dependents and they are both nuts. Accordingly, after March 1,
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1986, your Pecker will be taxed, based on its size, using the
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Pecker-Checker Scale. Determine your category and insert the
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additional tax under "Other Taxes", Page 2, Part V, line 69 of your
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Standard Income Tax Return.
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PECKER - CHECKER SCALE
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10-12 inches* / Luxury Tax............... $50.00
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8-10 inches / Pole Tax................. $25.00
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6-8 inches / Privilege Tax............ $15.00
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4-6 inches / Nuisance Tax............. $ 5.00
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* Males with peckers in excess of 12 inches should be filed under
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"Capital Gains".
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NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. PLEASE DO
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NOT ASK FOR EXTENSION !
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Very truly yours,
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Your Tax Woman
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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Another file downloaded from: NIRVANAnet(tm)
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& the Temple of the Screaming Electron Jeff Hunter 510-935-5845
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The Salted Slug Strange 408-454-9368
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Burn This Flag Zardoz 408-363-9766
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realitycheck Poindexter Fortran 415-567-7043
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Lies Unlimited Mick Freen 415-583-4102
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Tomorrow's 0rder of Magnitude Finger_Man 415-961-9315
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My Dog Bit Jesus Suzanne D'Fault 510-658-8078
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New Dork Sublime Demented Pimiento 415-566-0126
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Specializing in conversations, obscure information, high explosives,
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arcane knowledge, political extremism, diverse sexuality,
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insane speculation, and wild rumours. ALL-TEXT BBS SYSTEMS.
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Full access for first-time callers. We don't want to know who you are,
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where you live, or what your phone number is. We are not Big Brother.
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"Raw Data for Raw Nerves"
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X-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-X
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