49 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
49 lines
2.4 KiB
Plaintext
The Parable of the Prodigal Student
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by Mike Mahoney
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And he said: A teacher had two students. The younger of them came to him
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one day and said, "Teacher, give me thy syllabus, and that portion of stipend
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which is mine." And the Teacher did so.
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After not many classes, the young student went on an exchange program to a
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far university where he wasted his grant money in a life of revelry. He spent
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his classdays with coeds and went to keg parties. And after he had spent his
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stipend, a crackdown on grade inflation was instituted and he began to receive
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incompletes and failing grades. Finally a nervous illness overtook him and he
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lay on a cot in the hallway at the Student Health Center.
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He looked inside himself and thought, "How many students are in my Teacher's
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school have plenty of financial aid? And here I perish for lack of funds. I
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shall rise up and return to my old school and say, `Teacher, I have sinned
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before the Ideal of Knowledge and before you. Now I am not worthy to be called
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your pupil. Make me as one of the dining hall workers.'" And he rose up and
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headed back to his alma mater.
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While he was yet a ways off, his Teacher saw him and was filled with mercy.
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He ran to him and shook his hand. And the student said, "Teacher, I have
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sinned against Education and against you; now I am not worthy to be called your
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pupil."
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And the Teacher said to his undergrads, "Bring forth the Budweiser and stoke
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up the Columbian; for this, my student, was dead and now lives again; he was
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lost and now is found. I give him an `A' for effort."
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But his other student was in the Library, studying. And when he came and
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entered the dormitory, he heard music and commotion. He called to one of the
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undergrads and asked, "What gives?"
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And he said to him, "Thy fellow is come and thy Teacher threw a party." And
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the other student was wroth, and would not go in. Therefore the Teacher came
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out and rapped with him.
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And he asked his Teacher, saying, "What's the deal? I'm always studying, I
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always turn my papers in on time. But that twerp went away, where he partied
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out and cut classes. When he comes home, you give him an `A' where I only get
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a `B+' despite my hard work."
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And the Teacher said, "You are a good student, and I'll always be willing to
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write you a good recommendation. But come on in now and have a beer, for your
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fellow that had flunked has gotten an `A' and it is a time for celebration."
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