698 lines
26 KiB
Plaintext
698 lines
26 KiB
Plaintext
Embrace Ltd. of Uggadunk V3.0 says:
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In 1988 Uggadunk V3.0 was formed by some Computer Engineer students at the
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university of Karlstad, Sweden. During some very boring lessons in Pascal
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programming we began writing a story to make time pass faster. I had the
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amusing pleasure of translating it to English from the Swedish original.
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The story is quite odd and confusing, containing many internal jokes,
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perversions and stuff that is very Swedish and quite intranslatable.
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If you're going to read it, suit yourself, because here's
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THE STORY OF MOOSE SKIN BENGT
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BY UGGADUNK V3.0
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Chapter 1
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Once upon a time there was a man who lived in a cabin far out in
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the forest. One day a vacuum cleaner salesman came to His house which
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was far out in the forest. The vacuum cleaner salesman came to the door
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and knocked on it. 5 minutes later Moose Skin Bengt opened the window
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and looked at the vacuum cleaner salesman.
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- "Hi there !", said Moose Skin Bengt.
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- "Hi His !", said the vacuum cleanel salesman, since that was the
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man's name.
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(That is, the man, not Moose Skin Bengt)
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- "My name isn't His", said Moose Skin Bengt, "I'm just on a visit
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here."
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His called (sitting in the cabin) - "Is that you Greta dear ?"
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- "No stupid, I'm the vacuum cleaner salesman. I'm coming in
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now!", and so he did. Moose Skin Bengt said "Hello you man! I'm Moose
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Skin Bengt, I'm fine."
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- "Oh really", said the vacuum cleaner salesman. - "Have you got
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any power ?", the vacuum cleanel salesman asked Bengt with the skin of
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a moose.
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- "Yes", he said, "two, at least", he answered.
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- "Pity, I hate such" thus said the vacuum cleanel salesman.
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- "Look, here is a blue Philips! We call this model 'Lady Sucker'.
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With a double tube system and bag. 30 SEK per bag. There's room for
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three ladies in each bag", said the salesman.
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- "Gosh, is there room for Moose Skin Helga too in a bag like
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that?", said Moose Skin Bengt while sloughing his skin.
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- "I doubt that", said the vacuum cleaner salesman, whose name was
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Okie.
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- "Do you wanna sing too ?" said Bengt.
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- "YEEAAAHH!"
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Okie, His, and the sloughed moose skin sang together:
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- "We'll join the ring together and take each other's hands"
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- "We'll join the ring together and care about our friends"
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- "We'll eat each other's bodies and puke just for a while"
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- "Speaking of Moose Skin Helga, she's in fact not a lady,
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therefore the cause because."
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- "May I demonstrate ?" said Okie.
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- "Please, do!" said His.
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In that very moment there was a knock on the door and a lady stood
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outside. - "Come in" said Okie "and you'll see." With a roar the Lady
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Sucker started. But when Okie was about to suck the lady, blood and
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rags splashed all over the place since Okie had brought his lawn mower
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instead.
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- "Oops" said Bengt "this succeeded beyond all expectations."
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- "Yeah" said Okie "we really have efficient Lady Suckers."
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Suddenly a big noise was heard outside the house. Bengt and Okie looked
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out: - "Holy moose skins !!!" Bengt exclaimed. Outside the house were
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5892 ladies who, just by coincidence, happened to pass by.
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- "Gosh" yelled Bengt without moose skin, "should they or we suck
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first ?"
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- "They !", said Okie, "lalle", Hans and Cabin (in which they
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lived.)
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- "Come and suck", shouted Bengt, "two files and one at the time."
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Leaning on the sucker they were sucked for two hours.
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- "You suck fine", said Okie to the ladies.
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- "Yeah sure, you gotta get something in your stomach", said
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Berit-Lisa-Olga-Wilma-Jane-Olga-Berit.
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- "Eeny-Weeny, this was better than Moose Skin Helga", said Bengt,
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who now had got a new crocodile skin. "Let's suck", said Crocodile Skin
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Bengt to Okie, started the sucker and made mishmash of the rests.
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Mishmash with white sauce.
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2
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Just as Crocodile Skin Bengt was about to take his first bite of
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miahmash with white sauce, the big and wicked giant Helge-Alf appeared.
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- "If you don't give me something to eat, I'll step on your house.",
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said Helge-Alf. Since Helge-Alf is 40 meters tall and weighs 86532
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kilos without clothes, His suggested that they should do something
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about the situation.
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- "Hey Crocodile Skin Bengt", said Sales-Okie, "isn't Helge-Alf's
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foot like a lady to 103 % ?"
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- "Yes", said Crocodile Skin Bengt, "quickly, give me the Sucker!"
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Slfzbrpxschtj! (sound effect in real time) "Here you are, Helge-Alf",
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said Bengt.
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- "Thank you", said Helge-Alf, "that was yum yum !" (This was
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allright, since Helge-Alf the giant has 13 feet.)
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- "Uahhh !", yelled Okie.
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- "What is it", asked Bengt.
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- "A UFO! Look up there!"
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Svirr svirr it sounded as it swept over the house and landed far
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out in the forest.
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- "Well, that was fun, wasn't it. That was my newest Electrolux
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being delivered to Trulsa in the Turn.
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- "Look there!", said Bengt, "is that a UFO?" and pointed at
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something slimy that was flying in the clouds.
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- "No, that's just left since the sucking.", said the vacuum
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cleaner salesman.
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- "Now I'm angry", said the vacuum cleanel salesman, "I want to
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demonstlate my machine !!"
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- "What have you got", asked His who was a quiet and modest man.
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- "A fantastic machine! It sucks up dust and withered leaves and
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othel leaves and bank notes and ashes and mishmash and moose skin rags
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and sand and hair and wood-lice and other things that you want to get
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rid of."
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- "Great", said Crocodile Skin Bengt, "I gotta try it."
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- "What are we gonna try it on ?", said Okie. "We'll try it on
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Helge-Alf.", said the vacuum cleaner salesman, for he has schizofrenia.
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The vacuum cleanel salesman stalted his machine and started to suck
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Helge-Alf. But then a big noise was heard and everything became white.
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A thick layer of snow covered the ground although it was in the middle
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of July.
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- "What's this ?", asked Bengt.
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- "Just what I thought", said His, "I knew it was gonna come."
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- "What is it ?", asked the vacuum cleaner salesman.
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- "It's the Ice Age."
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- "Ma !", shouted Helge-Alf.
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- "My son", rumbled Ice Age, Helge-Alf's mother who suffers from
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terrible scurf formations, "Are the little nasty men bad to you ?"
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- "Oh no, not at all", answered Helge-Alf, "we're playing so well
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together. They gave my one of my feet to eat and it tasted relly good."
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- "Here you are", said Crocodile Skin Bengt, once again sloughing.
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- "But it's very cold", said the vacuum cleaner salesman.
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- "I just came to get Helge-Alf", said Ice Age, "come home now and
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have dinner."
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- "Yes mother", said Helge-Alf.
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- "Good to be rid of him", said Foreskin Bengt. Slowly but
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securely Bengtie took out his skis and went on a Wasalopp Race. His
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house stuck into the foreskin. The Lady Sucker sat and sucked itself as
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it saw Helge-Alf and Ice Age happily leap away towards the sunset. The
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vacuum cleanel moosed away to a veldiglis coppel plate and lay down to
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sleep.
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3
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Suddenly seven little dwarves came walking towards the house. His
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who was the only one to see the dwarves thought that they were looking
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for Snow White since he had recently read the tale of Snow White. When
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the dwarves arrived His thought that they looked a bit strange. They
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were dressed in leather and rivets and had ear-rings in their ears.
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Very strange. That was not in the tale. The ugliest dwarf, who had a
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big ring in his nose, came up to His and said:
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- "Erhhurhuf!"
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His didn't understand at all what he meant, but tried to explain
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that there was no Snow White. The dwarf went mad and said:
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- "M<><4D>ugh!" Then he went up to His and attempted to strangle him.
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- "Wait, wait" shouted Foreskin Bengt, who now returned from his
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Wasalopp Race. "I know the dwarf language!" He ripped off the skis and
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pulled off the house which was beginning to grow on to him. He went up
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to The_Ugliest_Dwarf, which was the name of the leader.
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- "Bghhappuq ngo Sno Hwiid" said Foreskin Bengt. The_Ugliest_Dwarf
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softened at once and grew tender. He said:
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- "U<>kkh uppadooh ngjt Sn<53> Hwiid. Hppqrl f<>ttar Erling Hwiid."
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- "Oh yeah", said Bengt with the skin before, "bghhappuq ngo
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Erling Wiidh."
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- "Plupp", said the dwarves in chorus and left the place in a
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body.
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- "They were looking for the Early White Man Who Doesn't Speak,
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and he's not here either.", said Foreskin Bengt to His and fell
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exhausted asleep by the oven.
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- "But what about Greta ?", wondered the vacuum cleanel salesman,
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dazed with sleep.
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- "What 'bout me, huh ?", said Greta and looked at the vacuum
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cleanel salesman with her three eyes. The vacuum cleanel salesman was
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very terrified when he saw the three eyes and ran off to Kuala Lumpur.
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But he forgot the Sucker and Greta was happy.
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4
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Suddenly a strange voice was heard from inside the forest and a
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face peeped out.
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- "Help !!! It's The Late Black Man", said Bengtie and became so
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afraid that he dropped the foreskin.
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- "Calm down", the vacuum cleaner said happily, "it's brother.
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He's just coming to save us from the big green uck far off at Trulsa in
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the Swamp."
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- "Have yah got ya club ?", asked the Sucker Lady Sucker.
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- "Naw", said the black ugly, "but the skates."
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- "Swell", said the Lady Sucker. And thus the two swayed away,
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tightly clinging to one another, to carve the throat off the nasty uck.
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Bengt tried to get on the foreskin again, but in vain, in was cracked.
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For you who don't know what an uck is, here's an excerpt from "THE
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STORY OF THE SLIMY UCK": The slimy uck is a green, slimy ugly bastard."
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That's about all there is documented about the uck. But back to our
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story. We'll probably never see the Lady Sucker and his brother again.
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Bengtie has a problem with his cracked foreskin. F<>rfattaren till
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ber<EFBFBD>ttelsen <20>r mycket f<>rvirrad. Han byter spr<70>k. Men d<> kommer
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ordf<EFBFBD>randen i KSE (Keep Sweden English) och sl<73>r honom i huvudet med
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ett engelskt lexicon och he returns to English.
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- "Gu<47><75>hqq", yelled Bengt as he dropped his skin. At the same time
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he started sloughing again. He followed the Lady Sucker & Bros. to
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torment uck.
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- "Hey Lady Sucker", he said to the Lady Sucker, "I'm following
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you to carve the uck."
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- "Okayy", said the Lady Sucker. They wandered for two years and
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finally they arrived at the big gate of Uckland.
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- "Choolahop", said Fish Scale Bengt.
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- "WHAT DO YOU WANT ?!!!", a guard was shouting in the gate.
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- "Carve uck." said Fish Scale Bengt.
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- "They like that", said the guard in the gate, "so come right in.
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Just open the gate and enter the Realm of the Ucks." The Lady Sucker &
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Bros opened the gate with the guard inside.
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- "How can there be room for you in the gate ? It's only 5 cm
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thick ?", asked Bros. While he was waiting for an answer, Fish Scale
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Bengt went home again, because he wanted to KILL, not amuse the ucks.
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- "Uckiuckiuckiuckiuck", an uck said to Bros. Then Bros went home.
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The Lady Sucker was m<>ljing with the skate and carved ucks until he
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lost his suck, broke down and drowned in the swamp.
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5
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Back at the house Bengt sat, whistling a hit by Torsson, poking
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his navel and having a good time.
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In the forest was heard a mysterious sound. WIRR WIRR. Closer and
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closer. WIRR. - "What could it be", thought Bengt. Suddenly he saw a
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TV. On the TV they showed the Traffic Magazine with Christer Gnelling,
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demonstrating a Volvo Duet -62. It had a worn disc brake sounding WIRR
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WIRR all the time. Suddenly the broadcast was interrupted:
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- "Hi and wellcome ta His Pirate TV. Now I'm gonna show ya a show
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with Berit in Smoked Herring Hill." It was His who had turned the
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batteries backwards in Bros (the Lady Sucker's brother, the new
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Electrolux of Trulsa in the Turn (the Swamp)). He had rigged the tube
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of Bros and pointed it on Berit who was exposing herself on the kitchen
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sofa along with Jan the Rooster and a rolling-pin. Bengt was confused
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and dropped all his scales. It was true that Berit was quite like a
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Volvo Duet -62, but it was the rolling pin that confused Goose Skin
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Bengt so. It was in fact the same rolling pin that Moose Skin Helga had
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chased him with four years ago when he first came to His cabin. Now the
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rolling pin seemed to be in a much more comfortable environment.
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Speaking of that, or so, Goose Skin Bengt noticed that he was hungry.
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- "I wonder if there's something left of that yummy mishmash ?
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Perhaps even with those smashing green threads ?" While Bengt was
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dreaming His switched channel, since Berit had finished both the
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rooster and the rolling pin. He changed to making violence films in
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which he appeared (in disguise, of course). Unfortunately his
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Electrolux was too realistic with the result of blood splashing in the
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living-room at Lisa-Stina's. Lisa-Stina was so angry that she reported
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His to the Radio Inspection Committee. In that moment Okie revealed his
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true identity: He was a TV possession tracer for the telephone company.
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Since neither His nor Bengt had payed their TV licenses for the last
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492 years, Okie became angry. Okie called the police and after a while
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the mean police alias Fatso appeared. Clomp clomp it sounded as Fatso's
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shoes size 107 hit the ground.
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- "Aaarrrggghhh !!!", Fatso roared. Bonk bonk it sounded as his
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big baton smattered against Bengt's and His heads. The Goose Skin fell
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off.
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- "Mercy", prayed Snake Skin Bengt.
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- "Wrrooaauuurrrggghh!!!", bellowed Fatso and brought His and
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Bengt to the police station. There sat Okie, filling in a report.
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- "Here we judge people without trial", said Fatso, "you'll have
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this cell. I may release you sometime. If I feel like it."
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- "Boohoo", cried His and Snake Skin Bengt. Then a voice was heard
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from the cell next to theirs.
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- "Holy rabbit eyes, Batman" was softly heard through the wall.
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- "BATMAN", yelled His and Bengt in chorus and a batwhisk came
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through the wall and the DYNAMIC DUO jumped in.
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- "Shit and snuff", said Boy Wonder, "this ain't the Bacon."
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- "Oh no ! He's tricked us again, that great Bacon." said Batman,
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"Now he's burgling at Trulsa in the Swamp instead. We gotta get the new
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Electrolux before him."
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His and Bengt slided through the hole and set off towards the
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cabin to get axes, because now they would get revenge on Fatso and
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Okie, damn it ! It turned out that Fatso and Okie had joined the Bacon
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to help him burgling. When "THE DYNAMIC QUARTET" came to the scene of
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the crime, the villains were already tied up by the handy Electrolux
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Bros, so it was just to call the police chief, who remitted His and
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Bengt's TV licenses by pure joy.
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- "Holy Lady Suckers", said Robin, "now we gotta set off."
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- "Yes", said BATMAN, "now we'll chase the apalling Dr. Fruit."
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With these words they fluttered away on their strong batwings.
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6
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- "That was that", said Snake Skin Bengt, "shall we go shopping in
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town now ?"
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- "Town, what's that ?", wondered His who hasn't been out so much.
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Then Bengt called the Street Office, who came and smacked up a tube
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station at Trulsa in the Swamp (the Turn). Since the tube station
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construction took a while they had time for lunch first. After lunch
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they both went and bought a day card each for the tube. Then they went
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to the big city of Crap. When they came to the big city of Crap it was
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completely empty.
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- "Where are all the people ?", asked Bengt.
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- "Something awful must have happened", said His.
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When the two heroes came to the square they saw something terrible: The
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awful Challenge had landed.
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- "Yeck, blaaah, a challenge terminal", moaned Bengt. His went up
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to one of the terminal's Lego buttons and tried to press it. Suddenly
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the Challenge terminal swallowed His, there were only a few bytes left.
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- "Help", Bengt screamed so the snake skin shrinked, "you've eaten
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my best friend. Whatch yourself or I'll send for the big mean PS/2.",
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Bengt without skin continued, "And now you tell me where all people
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are, or I'll log you off. "
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- "Never !"
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- "Now you're gonna speak, plastic pot !", Bengt without skin
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roared smashing his fist onto the Challenge keyboard. The terminal
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rattled and out came all the people who were inside because they had
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stuck in a file buffer. Out from the Challenge came the most mysterious
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people Bengtie had ever seen. One of them was one meter tall and
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suddenly exclaimed:
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- "Hey my name is Alf and I'm stuck on Earth, I can't get back to
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my place of birth. I'm making the best of a bad situation, think of it
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as an extended vacation."
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It was the vacuum cleanel salesman from Kuala Lumpur who had been
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eaten first of all and learned a new language, and retrained himself as
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a prophet. He was quite thin and hairy, though. Alf the prophet said:
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- "The end is near!", on which the Universe exploded.
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7
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- "Good", said His who had just exited the Challenge, "she was the
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ugliest hooker of this town. Now I wanna go to the cinema. Then we'll
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go to the restaurant, because the food on this hotel was no good."
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He wasn't at all as silent and modest as he used to be. Egg Shell Bengt
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was very confused. His continued:
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- "And I wanna go to the amusement park and I wanna drive a car,
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but first I gotta get a driving license and I'm gonna go to the barber
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and get a cool hairdo and I'm gonna get dressed for success and..."
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- "Wait", yelled Bengt with the shell, "take it easy."
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- "And I wanna get a hobby and and ..."
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Thud ! it sounded as Egg Shell Bengt's right fist hit His chin
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with a force of 500 N.
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- "That's it! That sure shut him up."
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Bengt made their way through the masses while Alf had to carry the
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unconcious His. The crowd was huge and Egg Shell Bengt and Alf had to
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force their way through, enduring great exhaustion. Suddenly their way
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||
was blocked by a gang of big and hairy slobs who obviously thought that
|
||
our heroes were carrying something valuable.
|
||
|
||
- "Hold it right there !", said the biggest slob.
|
||
|
||
- "Howdy", said Alf, "are we family, hairy idols ?"
|
||
|
||
- "Yeah", said Snotlens, the biggest slob.
|
||
|
||
- "Do ya wanna follow us home to Bengt's and watch TV ???", asked
|
||
Alf.
|
||
|
||
- "YEAH!", shouted the slobs and they were happily leaping away,
|
||
forgetting His on the square. When His woke up it was in the middle of
|
||
the night and all he saw was 300 orange Volvo l42's circling the square
|
||
over and over again. "That looks funny", thought His and went up to one
|
||
of the 'cars'.
|
||
|
||
- "Can I join you too ?", said His.
|
||
|
||
- "Are you begging for trouble, huh ?", said a disgusting slimy
|
||
fat and ugly man in the Volvo.
|
||
|
||
- "Who are you ?", said His.
|
||
|
||
- "I'm Rutger the rocker", said Rutger the rocker. It turned out
|
||
that Rutger wasn't dangerous at all. He worked in a paper-mill and was
|
||
kinder than a hen. The rocker and His took the car and went home to His
|
||
cabin. Alf and his Tartar-looking cousins were already there, and
|
||
rockers and tarts don't fit together as we already well know. On the
|
||
other hand, they gladly sit together, so Rutger and His also sat down
|
||
by the TV.
|
||
|
||
- "I'll get some snacks", said Egg Shell Bengtie who didn't really
|
||
want to sit so crowdedly because of the shell that he was temporarily
|
||
wearing. He fetched the green hairy rests of the mishmash and was just
|
||
about to pass round the bowl when someone yelled:
|
||
|
||
- "Wait, I wanna see TV too. Put me on the table so I can see."
|
||
|
||
- "Who said that", wondered Rutger the rocker.
|
||
|
||
- "Not me", said Bengt, whose shell seemed loose.
|
||
|
||
- "Not me", said His.
|
||
|
||
- "Not me", said Alf and his cousins in one voice.
|
||
|
||
- "And not me", said Rutger the rocker.
|
||
|
||
- "I wanna see TV too", said the voice again. Over the edge of
|
||
bowl came two green hands.
|
||
|
||
- "Hi, I'm Mould-Parson", said a green hairy creature, "It's fine
|
||
that ya forgot ta wash the bowl of mishmash so that I was born, thank
|
||
ya very much."
|
||
|
||
- "You're welcome", said His, "it was nothing." Now when all that
|
||
was fixed they could all watch TV.
|
||
|
||
- "Yippee", said Alf, "I'm on TV again !"
|
||
It was Alf who pointed the vacuum cleaner tube at himself. For three
|
||
quarters of an hour he had a smashing show in front of the tube. Bengt
|
||
was laughing so that the shell was fragmented and fell off.
|
||
|
||
- "Now I'll turn on coffee", said Bengt and went into the room
|
||
beside, where Coffee lived. When Meat Bengt passed Alf's hairy cousins,
|
||
they were so terrified by Meat Bengt's appearance that they disappeared
|
||
in a cloud of oily smoke.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
8
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and His went to open it.
|
||
Bang bang bang ! was heard from the door. It was a mad killer from
|
||
Texas. He killed His and went into the TV-room, where he shot Alf,
|
||
Bros, Rutger and Mould-Parson to death. Unfortunately a ricochet hit
|
||
the killer, so he died too.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
9
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
Meanwhile, Bengtie had finished turning on Coffee and carrying out
|
||
the rest of his mission. They came to the TV-room and saw the mess. It
|
||
was only Alf the vacuum cleanel salesman's vacuum cleaner who was
|
||
alive, so Bengtie, who now had spruce bark, told the cleaner to suck up
|
||
the dead instead of sucking itself.
|
||
|
||
- "Wait a minute ... now I'm finished", said the cleaner
|
||
whereafter it efficiently removed all the rags in the house. Unfortu-
|
||
nately some parts of the house happened to be sucked too, making the
|
||
house uninhabitable forever.
|
||
|
||
- "Oh dear, oh dear !", sighed Spruce Bark Bengt and left the
|
||
house. He was so sad about all that had happened that he didn't mind his
|
||
step and he was walking right towards his well. A scream was heard all
|
||
over the countryside when Bengt with the spruce bark fell into the well.
|
||
|
||
- "I'm gonna drown", he thought, falling deeper and deeper, but
|
||
that didn't come true because the well was drained. Bonk ! it sounded
|
||
as Bengt's body was brought against the bottom of the well.
|
||
|
||
- "Choo flute !", said Bengt, "no water."
|
||
|
||
- "What's this ?", he thought, making the spruce bark creak,
|
||
"here's a tunnel". He entered the tunnel. It was pitch dark. He crawled
|
||
for what seemed to be an eternity. Now the tunnel leant upwards and
|
||
soon Spruce Bark Bengt had a trap door above his head. He opened it and
|
||
looked out. There he saw a gallery with lots of people, an ugly
|
||
orchestra that was playing ugly music and two particularly stupid
|
||
persons.
|
||
|
||
- "What are you doing here ?", asked the one.
|
||
|
||
- "Where do you come from ?", asked the other.
|
||
|
||
- "Where am I ?", asked Spruce Bark Bengt.
|
||
|
||
- "This is a live broadcast of Zick Zack.", they said to Bengt
|
||
while a close-up of him was broadcast all over Sweden. His mug was seen
|
||
on the screen for less than five seconds before he puked all over it
|
||
because of Monica Dominique<75>u<EFBFBD>ue's mug. With a tasty jet coming from
|
||
his mouth he turned towards her and decorated her with a cosy
|
||
substance. At once she looked much nicer than Pa who was standing
|
||
beside. - "5", said Rolle who was tonight's guest star.
|
||
|
||
- "BINGO", yelled Bengt with his pukes splashing all over the
|
||
studio.
|
||
|
||
- "I can play ice hockey", said Rolle giving Bengt a whole bag of
|
||
pucks.
|
||
|
||
- "Hurrah", said Bengt and then he and Rolle sang "Rosen" ("The
|
||
Rose") by Arne Quick in a sweet Duet. Then Rolle stepped on the gas and
|
||
drove out to the life through a studio wall. When the Duet reached the
|
||
speed of 200 km/h it suddenly became a time machine and Bengtie and
|
||
Rolle went back to the feudal age.
|
||
|
||
- "Oh Shit", said Bengtie, "now were stuck in a mud field, how are
|
||
we gonna pump up the Duet into 200 km/h."
|
||
|
||
- "It'll be all right", said Rolle, "let's go for a walk."
|
||
|
||
He had never said so much before in his life, so he was totally
|
||
exhausted and fell asleep in the Duet (model -62 of course). Bengt went
|
||
up to a peasant who was close by and asked why the hell the grew mud on
|
||
the field.
|
||
|
||
- "We use it for building houses", answered the dumb peasant.
|
||
|
||
- "You'll get much better houses with concrete", Spruce Bark Bengt
|
||
told him, slowly sloughing again. He felt in his pocket and found some
|
||
seeds for instant concrete, that had slipped in there while he fell
|
||
into his well (that he had on the yard of the late His).
|
||
|
||
- "Here you have some seeds, try them."
|
||
|
||
- "Oh thank you very much, I'll sow them at once." So he did and a
|
||
few minutes later a real concrete autobahn had emerged from the mud
|
||
field.
|
||
|
||
- "But Bengt", said Rolle, "how are we gonna get the car up on the
|
||
road."
|
||
|
||
- "I'll fix it", said Bengt. He took some pieces of his dissolving
|
||
spruce bark and put them under the wheels of the Duet and drove it up
|
||
on the road.
|
||
|
||
- "Hold it !", said a man in charge of a squadron of armed
|
||
soldiers, "what in the name of the law are you doing? Where does this
|
||
come from ?", he said pointing at the motorway.
|
||
|
||
- "We just sowed some seeds", said Bengt.
|
||
|
||
- "Aha", said the man, "witchcraft, sorcery, evil spirits, you
|
||
must be in alliance with Satan !!!"
|
||
|
||
- "On no", said Rolle, "were just from the twentieth century."
|
||
|
||
- "Liars !!!", shouted the man, "I sentence you to DEATH !!!"
|
||
|
||
- "Your bodies will be cut into pieces and spread out to feed the
|
||
vultures. Soldiers, arrest them !!!"
|
||
|
||
- "Time to scram, huh", Rolle said to Banana Peal Bengt.
|
||
|
||
- "All right. Bye bye folks, nice meeting you", said Banana Peal
|
||
Bengt stepping on the gas.
|
||
|
||
Vroom !
|
||
|
||
After a while they wre flying in time again. At the end of the
|
||
1400th century Bengt pushed out Rolle somewhere in N<>rke. (At a small
|
||
lake (so he wouldn't hurt himself)) When he closed the car door he got
|
||
stuck with his fringe in it. With great effort he released it again
|
||
which made him very happy. 15 minutes before his house was destroyed he
|
||
stopped the car and got out, put a brick on the gas pedal and waved
|
||
goodbye to the Duet. Happy for seeing Coffee again he ran far out in
|
||
the forest to pick morels. His skin started to grow out again. Suddenly
|
||
a strange scent could be smelled behind Moss Bengt.
|
||
|
||
- "It smells like coffee", said Bengo. And of course it was Coffee
|
||
who came running. Coffee looked terrified when he saw Moss B.
|
||
|
||
- "But you just turned me on", said Coffee.
|
||
|
||
- "Sure, but now I'm here.", said Bengtie, "let's go and watch TV,
|
||
shall we ?"
|
||
|
||
- "YEEEAAAHHH !", yelled Coffee. Thus did they go to the house and
|
||
got back just in time to stop the suction of the house, then they sat
|
||
down to watch Zick Zack.
|
||
|
||
|