114 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
114 lines
4.8 KiB
Plaintext
+-------------------------------+
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| H O W T O M A K E |
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| M O O N S H I N E ! |
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| _____________________________ |
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| By Phinneas J. Whoopie, III |
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* The following is for informational purposes only. DO NOT attempt to
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do this at home. I am a professional. Yea, right.
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* The following is dedicated to Grandma Clampett, who taught me everything
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I know about the wondrous process of fermentation.
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First of all, technically, this is not the procedure to make literal
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"moonshine." To make that, you need the famed "corn squeezins." As far
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as I am concerned, good old apple cider is easier to get ahold of than a
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gallon of corn juice.
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WHAT YOU NEED:
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To begin, get one of those big gallon bottles of apple juice or apple cider.
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Then get some yeast. You can buy it at the supermarket where you got the
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apple juice.
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Empty about 1/10 of the apple juice out of the big gallon jug. Then put in
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about 1 tablespoon of yeast into the jug. Mix it around. The fermentation
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process will now begin! (That's "making alcohol" to you and me.)
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HOW TO SPEED UP/MONITOR THE PROCESS:
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If you want to expedite matters, then put the jug on a hotplate while the
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juice is fermenting. Don't make it TOO HOT. Just warm. If you make it
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too hot, other chemical reactions take place that make the finshed product
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taste shitty, perhaps even toxic.
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If you want to "see" the fermentation process as it happens, then put a large
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ballon over the mouth of the bottle. As the juice ferments, gasses will build
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up and collect in the balloon.
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IS IT DONE YET?
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If you are using the balloon, when it becomes full, then you should have
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a nice solution of apple juice, yeast, and ethanol. The yeast should be
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filtered out with a coffee filter. The amount of time this takes depends
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on the amount of yeast you use. Don't use more than 1 tablespoon, though.
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That's about the most that is needed. Any more will screw it up.
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If you are not using a balloon, then just take a whiff every so often. When
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you smell the alcohol, then you can stop the process, depending on the desired
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strength, or proof. Don't forget to filter out the yeast! Yuck.
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This part can sit and go without any supervision. Check it tomorrow.
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Don't be surprised if this takes a long time. When it is done, you will
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have a jug of alcoholic apple juice!
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HOW TO MAKE IT STRONGER! Yes, you heard it right...
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Since alcohol vaporizes at about 160 degrees farenheight, it will become a gas
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before water does. So, under this fact, you can heat your filtered product
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and vaporize the alcohol. This requires some more equipment, though.
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You need some tubing, and a heat source. See the diagram.
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________________
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/ _____________ |
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T / / | |
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h o _/ / | | Ice <----------- This part of the tubing
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e \ / \ | | should either be long and
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r \ \ | | curly, or packed in ice.
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m / \ \ / \ This cools the alcohol so
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o | \ | / \ that it will condense and
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m | Juice & | | | drip into the collection
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e | Alcohol | | | Collection jar. This stuff is mean.
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t | \ | | | Jar
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e |__________| |_____|
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r
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^ ^ ^ ^ VAPORIZATION OF THE ETHANOL OUT
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^ ^ ^ ^ ^ OF THE FERMENTED SOLUTION.
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(_________) Heat Source
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Keep a thermometer in the jug so the temperature does not rise above 200
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degrees Farenheight, or else your product will become diluted with water.
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Don't be a bozo and drink the alcohol that collects in the jar. It will
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fry your tonsils, if you have any. Just ask Chumley, he tried it.
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Make sure that your tubing allows the alcohol gas to cool and fall downward
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into the collection jar, and not back into the big jug.
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FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH POCKET PROTECTORS & TAPED GLASSES
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The geeks may want to know exactly WHAT is going on in this reaction, so here
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is the unbalanced partial equation for the reaction:
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C H O ---> 2C O OH + 2CO
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6 12 6 2 5 2
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glucose ethanol carbon dioxide
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(sugar in juice) (the booze) (the gas in the balloon)
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Don't Drive Drunk.
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Phinneas J. Whoopie, III
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(The man with the answers)
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